Throwing the control aside in disgust Matteo Guendouzi\nreflected that three hours of Fifa was an unsatisfactory way to spend time he\nshould have been playing real football. He also considered that the eleven year\nold who had just dominated him like Sead Kolasinac dealing with potential\nmuggers was probably a Spurs fan anyway. Life must be pretty grim for him and\nMatteo did not grudge him his victory. At least in the game the poor little kid\ngot to see his team play with strikers. And without the grim spectre of\nMourinho pouting on the sideline, shoulders hunched into his coat, the short\ngreying hair giving him the air of some sort of scavenger bird, a wily buzzard\nwaiting for his team to die before picking their carcasses clean. Guendouzi\nfelt a cold tingle down his spine and shivered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Glancing at the clock he saw that it was 7.26 pm. It was\nagonising. He should have been coming out of the tunnel at the home of last\nyear\u2019s champions. The injury to poor Lucas would surely have got him a start?\nThe boss could not keep playing Granit forever, could he? He frowned at the\nthought of a man who could make turning 180 degrees with a football look more\nlaboured than an octogenarian doing the same with a shopping cart. Back in the\nhome country his great grandpa had done all his own shopping and that of two of\nhis neighbours well into his nineties. He had still looked more sprightly than\nthe Swiss, and, unlike Granit, you could rely on his distribution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Matteo looked about aimlessly, lost for inspiration. He\nneeded something to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When he had first been told that he was not allowed to go\nanywhere near any of the other members of his team he had had a flashback to Unai\nEmery\u2019s tactical briefings. Once he understood that it just meant that he had\nto stay at home for a few days he calmed down a little but now the reality of\nlife without chasing a ball was hitting home and he yearned to be training with\nthe lads. He thought of them, wondering what they were doing right now, right\nwhen the match should have been kicking off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He thought of Xhaka, at home cooking dinner, really, really\nslowly. Perhaps trying to bake some chicken with tomatoes and managing to give\nthe ball away on the edge of the penalty area. How could anyone be so good at that?\nHe imagined Shkodran, slide tackling his children before bed, his arm raised in\na desperate appeal to his wife that the younger one was surely offside? He\nthought of Papa, sitting motionless and staring angrily at a wall, trying to\nknock it down with the sheer force of his disapproval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He knew that Nicolas did not cook himself but was not\nallowed even to serve dinner at home anymore. After his chef had spent so long\npreparing wonderful meals everyone found it infuriating to see Pepe bring them towards\nthe table only to turn away, turn back, turn away, turn back and repeat this\nmaddening dance for minutes until he finally put the cold food down on the\nkitchen counter, about ten feet from where anyone wanted it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He wondered about checking Sky Sports to see if Auba had\nscored. If anyone could get a goal without actually playing a match it was him.\nBy the same token he wondered if Laca had missed any chances yet? Mesut crossed\nhis mind but flitted out of it almost immediately, leaving no trace that he had\never been there. Perhaps he was a ghost? Berndt, however, was surely a vampire?\nWith reflexes sharper than any human being. And a mortal fear of crosses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He thought about calling Gabigol for a chat but dismissed\nthe idea. He had probably ignored the advice to isolate himself and was playing\nstreet football with a bunch of kids who hated him because he never stopped\nrunning and acted like every game was the World Cup Final. Gabigol was the only\none who Matteo thought liked running more than he did. Although Gabi liked\neverything more than everyone. He could be locked up in a prison cell for a day\nand still find a way to be relentlessly enthused about the possibilities. And\ncover eleven kilometres.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly his phone buzzed. He looked down and saw David was\ncalling him. He smiled as he answered the call of his\nHair-Brother-From-Another-Mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYo! David!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOla, Matteo! What are you up to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNothing man. I am so bored. You?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMate. MATE! I am having a hilarious time. Best night in EVER!\nI had to call you, you are the only one who would understand. I am gonna send\nyou the photos.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The laughter from the end of the line was infectious. Matteo\nhad never heard David like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat photos, David? What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am telling you mate. I wish I had had this much time to\nmyself before\u2026 It never occurred to me to do it\u2026 I never knew how brilliant\nthey were. This is the funniest thing ever. I look HILARIOUS!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDave, seriously, cut the suspense. What are you doing? What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMatteo, I have just discovered HAIR STRAIGHTENERS!\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Throwing the control aside in disgust Matteo Guendouzi reflected that three hours of Fifa was an unsatisfactory way to spend time he should have been playing real football. He also considered that the eleven year old who had just dominated him like Sead Kolasinac dealing with potential muggers was probably a Spurs fan anyway. Life […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/538"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=538"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/538\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":540,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/538\/revisions\/540"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}