{"id":7791,"date":"2023-04-25T21:17:29","date_gmt":"2023-04-25T20:17:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/?p=7791"},"modified":"2023-04-27T05:08:21","modified_gmt":"2023-04-27T04:08:21","slug":"its-time-for-the-arsenal-to-find-its-glow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/?p=7791","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s Time for the Arsenal to Find its Glow"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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The Last Dragon (1985); courtesy IMDb<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I grew-up on a farm in a small, rural community. We didn\u2019t have a lot of luxury, material goods, but my parents provided for all of our needs. Most of my schoolmates lived \u201cin town\u201d and had access to then-luxury diversions like cable television, but cable access was not available for our farm. Most times, I didn\u2019t know what I was missing, so I didn\u2019t miss it, but I never was up-to-date with cultural references like movies or popular cable shows (to this day, I\u2019m still not much of a cinephile). However, one day, my father surprised the family with a hulking, metallic monstrosity\u2026a first-generation satellite dish (he must have sold, like, five cows to fund that purchase). Back in those days, in addition to satellite packages featuring HBO, Cinemax, and Showtime, the real<\/u><\/strong> trick was navigating the satellite in between channel orientations to \u201cpirate\u201d broadcasts from unauthorized channels. I spent numerous late-night hours (after my parents were asleep) fascinated by Bollywood shows, whatever it was on Indonesian broadcasts, and\u2026um, psychedelic-appearing porn. However, one of my fonder childhood memories came from stumbling across the Berry Gordy-produced film, The Last Dragon. It was a pretty crap movie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Briefly, The Last Dragon tells the story of Leroy, a Black acolyte of Bruce Lee living in (I guess) Harlem, New York, who wants to become a kung fu master. His sensei sends Leroy on a quest (this movie follows the basic Hero\u2019s Journey arc) to find the Master who will complete Leroy\u2019s training. His nemesis is a Black kung fu master, named Sho\u2019nuff, who leads a gang of karate-kicking street toughs terrorizing the earnest Harlem citizens (Evidently, in 1980\u2019s New York City, there was an abundance Black folks breakdancing and mastering karate\u2026I missed that memo). After numerous plot holes, narrative gaffs, and outright stereotypical tomfoolery, Leroy and Sho\u2019nuff face-off. Now, as a kung fu master, Sho\u2019nuff is surrounded by a red aura (the \u201cGlow\u201d) that magnifies the damage of his kicks and punches and makes him all but invincible, and he begins kicking the ever-living snot out of Leroy. At one point in the fight, Sho\u2019nuff kicks Leroy into a vat of water (not acid) and proceeds to waterboard (although no one knew what that term meant back in the \u201880s) Leroy while commanding Leroy to answer, \u201cWho\u2019s the Master?\u201d Leroy never answers, and, on the third dunk, as he is drowning, Leroy\u2019s seminal life moments replay, and, as he realizes that he has already learned everything he needs, when Sho\u2019nuff taunts, \u201cWho is the Master?!?!\u201d Leroy answers, \u201cI am!\u201d Suddenly, Leroy is bathed in a golden glow (settle down, Wolfie!), and he proceeds to pummel Sho\u2019nuff into submission. Leroy gets the girl, becomes a master, and the credits roll. Like I said, it was a pretty crap movie, but it has salutary lessons for Arsenal\u2019s visit to the petroleum-soaked wastelands of Greater Manchester.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arsenal, who maintain a five-point lead atop the Premier League table, are set to face the-expensively-assembled-\u20acitzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC this Wednesday in the appropriately named Emptihad. Derisive comments abound\u2014Arsenal are \u201cbottlers\u201d \u2026 are going to \u201cbottle-it\u201d \u2026are na\u00efve and about to crumble\u2026have had an easy road till now. It\u2019s almost as if we haven\u2019t heretofore battled the allegedly, financially-doped cheats to Gameweek 33 while maintaining a respectable points lead. Even in the Gooner zeitgeist, several more vocal numpties have composed funerary dirges and begun to rend their garments after our third consecutive draw on Friday. Need I remind our faithful (and faithless) that the mighty Arsenal have not tasted defeat in ten games?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Opposition<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arsenal face numerous challenges. The Ornacle has confirmed that William Saliba will miss Wednesday\u2019s match and is in jeopardy of missing the remainder of the run-in. Not enough impartial analysts have fairly evaluated and presented the deleterious impact Saliba\u2019s absence has had on Arsenal\u2019s ability to press higher up the pitch, make more progressive passes, and confidently defend. In the most recent Handbrake Off<\/em> podcast, Stoney listed these statistics: 27 games with Saliba \u2013 0.9 Goals Against, win percentage – 78%; 5 games without Saliba \u2013 1.8 Goals Against, win percentage – 40% while conceding 2x big chances. Statistics do, sometimes<\/em> tell the story. But, wait, there\u2019s more. Smith-Rowe doesn\u2019t seem to fit Arteta\u2019s plans and can\u2019t seem to get a sniff. Vieira, gawd bless \u2018em, just doesn\u2019t seem to be fit for purpose, and, after Friday\u2019s adventures, who the hell knows where Ramsdale\u2019s head is. Finally, the-expensively-assembled-\u20acitzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC appear to be in very fine fettle. Their blond, Viking T-1000 Terminator is scoring goals for fun, and Pep has adopted Arteta\u2019s tactics deputizing John Stones in midfield. Much like Leroy, Arsenal is facing its own Sho\u2019nuff while also searching for its mojo\u2026its groove\u2026its glow. The squad is in the midst of its own hero\u2019s journey, and the table is set.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If reports are to be believed, Nathan Ake looks set to miss tomorrow\u2019s clash. I wouldn\u2019t get my hopes up. Other than that bit of news, if you are looking for a more detailed intelligence assessment of the-expensively-assembled-\u20acitzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC, well, they are a dangerous, marauding band of See You Next Tuesdays, and I hope they and their plastic, Yank fans all get the comeuppance they so richly deserve\u2026starting tomorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arsenal XI<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although I have reviewed several Arsenal media outlets suggesting formation and personnel changes (primarily dropping Holding), given the magnitude of the contest, I just don\u2019t see Arteta making wholesale changes to the team. Remember the harsh lessons learned by erstwhile sp*rs manager Cristian Stellini who, in advance of a pivotal fixture against the Geordies, decided THAT was the time to change from a back five to a back four and start Sarr.* Five goals and twenty minutes later, Stellini reverted to the back five. Let\u2019s not do that. Instead, let\u2019s lean into our strengths. The Arsenal have five attacking players who can strike fear into any opposition: Saka, Martinelli, Jesus, \u00d8degaard, and Trossard. Let\u2019s find a way to get them all on the pitch. Although I think Xhaka comes right back into the squad to yield the following team selection:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ramsdale<\/p>\n\n\n\n

White \u2014 Holding \u2014 Gabriel \u2014 Zinchenko<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d8degaard \u2014 Thomas \u2014 Xhaka<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saka \u2014 Jesus \u2014 Martinelli<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wouldn\u2019t be averse to starting Trossard instead of Xhaka to yield this Starting XI (with Xhaka being the first substitution):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ramsdale<\/p>\n\n\n\n

White \u2014 Holding \u2014 Gabriel \u2014 Zinchenko<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d8degaard\u2014 Thomas \u2014 Trossard<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saka \u2014 Jesus \u2014Martinelli<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think how we finish the game will be just as important as how we start. Something tells me Smith-Rowe will get the chance to step up for the Arsenal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u2018Holic Pound<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For me, any result will do, but I am staking my colors on a statement victory 1-3 to the good guys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

History recounts that, as the Macedonian army was drawing-up for battle in advance of the climactic encounter against Darius III at the Battle of Gaugamela, Alexander was absent. Hephaestion, the head of Alexander\u2019s Foot Companions (or Hypaspists) stormed into the commander\u2019s tent and berated Alexander for oversleeping. Alexander coolly rebuked Hephaestion saying words to the effect of, \u201cHow can I be late to a battle I have already won?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I know the Battle of the Emptihad has yet to be fought, but I feel as calm as Alexander. The moment is here. The site for battle has been prepared. I trust Arteta to help this young team realize they have learned everything<\/u><\/strong> they need to know. I trust Saka and Martinelli to do their jobs and terrorize the opposition flanks. I trust Jesus (forever and ever, mind you), \u00d8degaard, Zinchenko, and Trossard to provide the incisive passes characteristic of our success so far this season as well as to choke off service to the Viking Berserker. Finally, I trust Partey and our backline to do their jobs and keep us in the game. This team is ready to command the space it occupies. Like Leroy, this young, talented team is ready to become a Master<\/u><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

* I have it on good authority they actually do get battered…everywhere they go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grew-up on a farm in a small, rural community. We didn\u2019t have a lot of luxury, material goods, but my parents provided for all of our needs. Most of my schoolmates lived \u201cin town\u201d and had access to then-luxury diversions like cable television, but cable access was not available for our farm. Most times, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7791"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7791"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7791\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7794,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7791\/revisions\/7794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7791"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7791"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goonerholicsforever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7791"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}