Goonerholicsforever are seriously chuffed to welcome another Goonerholic alumnus, Lonestar Gooner, to our fold of authors. Welcome, Lonestar. Enjoy, everyone…
I’m a Cancer. That’s really all you need to know about me (queue The Floaters – “Float On”…“Cancer, and my name is Lonestar”). I display a hard outer shell, but, if you manage to pierce it, you’ll find sweet, meaty goodness. Years of neglect, atrophy, near misses, capitulations, disinvestment, and disharmony (even if occasionally punctuated with celebratory false dawns) resulted in quite the Arsenal carapace. I was an emotional crustacean. Never too high, never too low…much like the attendees at the Emirates of old, I was all too content to sit on my hands. “Come on Arsenal. Entertain me.”
Then came Mikel Arteta. Henry Winter astutely observed, “Arsene Wenger built the Emirates and now Mikel Arteta lights it up,” but there’s more to it. Arteta has lit us up. Much like Hemingway’s quote about bankruptcy, Arteta’s transformation started slowly, haltingly, and then all once. Mikel and Edu cleared out the deadwood, bet on youth, and, generally, purchased elite talent. Starting this fall, Arsenal went from strength to strength; scoring goals and grinding out tough, character-building wins. All this effort—all this labor—resulted in a fantasy beginning to the season: fifty-point tally at the midway mark; best season start in Arsenal’s history; a swashbuckling attack coupled with a parsimonious defense; a renewed connection between players and support (home and away); the Ashburton Army; and, heaven forbid, a drummer in the Emirates! Bottomline, Arteta pierced my shell (and not just mine).
Now comes Arteta, a Spanish general astride a combined-arms army, not unlike that other vaunted Spanish general of yore, Hannibal*, surveying a menacing Premier League landscape and refining his plans for conquest. Just as the Carthaginian army that straggled out of the Alpine passes into Italy was a shadow of the army that began its trek out of Spain, the current Arsenal squad traveling to Birmingham on Saturday is not as vital as it once was. Perhaps other teams have sussed us out? A loss at Everton, a draw at home to Brentford, and a home loss to the-expensively-assembled-€itzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC share distressingly similar traits: an out-of-form midfield, sterile wide possession, uncharacteristically deliberative transitions, and diminished chance creation/goal scoring. We’ve hit a slump…no doubt about that, and there’s work to be done.
But, what to do? Now, I’m about as qualified to opine on solutions to this team malaise as I would be to scrub-in for surgery having stayed the prior night in a Holiday Inn Express (Remember that advertisement campaign? It was so dumb.) However, I consume a lot of Arsenal content, I chat with people who have more football gravitas than myself (several of this parish amongst them), and, although I am a mere punter, I have some thoughts.
Predictability is the Achilles Heel of an army. To bastardize Sun Tzu, when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are distant. When we are distant, we must make the enemy believe we are near. Arteta is an aggressive manager who wants to deny opposition attempts, in the first instance, by possessing the ball. This tactic served Arsenal exceedingly well in the first half of this season, but over the past three matches (I discount the FA Cup loss as a free hit), our once vaunted possession game (especially in the attacking third) has reprised the horseshoe-of-death. Perhaps it’s time to play Martinelli through the middle with Trossard starting on the left? Or, maybe we should give Xhaka a rest and start Vieira at the left eight? Would we even be so bold (perhaps reckless) as to embark on a formation change to a back three at certain periods; ceding possession for a chance at a swift counterattack? Whatever the play, the end result has to strive, once again, to inject uncertainty in opposing defenses and sap opposing attacks of their vitality. I back Arteta to find a solution (but do me a favor, boss, and sort out the substitutions…like-for-like isn’t the only way).
Historians recount that Hannibal, as he led his bedraggled army out of the Alps into the Po River Valley, was surrounded by hostile Gauls who, having heard Hannibal was coming to free them from the yoke of Roman oppression, remained, shall we say, unconvinced. Arteta could commiserate. Fresh off the back of three forgettable outings, Arsenal now face an early Saturday kick-off in the Birmingham hinterlands against none other than our dear uncle, and former gaffer, Unai Emery. A whopping forty-eight hours to recover? The Premier League fixture programmers are simply spoiling us. To make matters worse, just as Hannibal lost his battle elephants, save for one, during the Alps crossing, Arteta has also lost his midfield pachyderm-come-matador. No one can seriously argue we didn’t miss Partey on Wednesday, and his absence on Saturday, should that come to pass (no pun intended), would be a significant loss. Nketiah looks jaded (defenses are no longer troubled at the moment), and heaven help us if something happens to our Starboy. Finally, Emery will be spoiling for a fight, and the Villa players and fans will be champing at the bit to put right their own 3-1 defeat at the hands of the-expensively-assembled-€itzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC. The coincidences are bewildering and may portend a frustrating slog.
The dastardly Villans currently sit in eleventh place, and they are a mercurial lot. On their day, equally as likely to defeat Tottnum (I mean who doesn’t, really) or Chelsea (again, who doesn’t) as to lose to Leicester, Villa features a World Cup winner in goal (formerly of this parish, but always thinking of lost love); a lively, if underachieving, midfield; and an athletic and wily strike partnership of Watkins and Bailey. The midfield, particularly interesting, sports Buendia (perennially rumored as an Arsenal transfer target), Luiz (an Arsenal target in the last summer transfer window), and Ramsey (disappointing season so far, but with that name…oh, now THAT’S a thought). With McGinn and Coutinho as substitutes, the Villa midfield provides a good mix of graft, connection, and bite; hell, they might even add some goal threat if they ever learn to get out of their own way. It’s the Villa back line, however, that could be just the healing salve for Arsenal’s battle-weary troops. Against the-expensively-assembled-€itzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC, the Villa back four started the vampiric Ashley Young (how old is he now?), Konsa, Chambers (formerly of this parish), and Digne, but the Edgbaston clodder, Matty Cash, and Tyrone Mings (if healthy) could also deputize. In the reverse fixture, last August, Arsenal bagged two goals (Jesus and Martinelli) on the back of twenty-two shots (nine on target) and fifty-nine percent possession. I could see Saka and Martinelli shredding the Villa flanks, and, if we duplicate those previous shot numbers, we could replicate the Carthaginian slaughter of the Romans at Cannae. Alas, that was Stevie G’s Villa, and Arsenal have averaged just fifteen shots (four on target) across their last three matches.
Although it feels like the Arsenal of the first half season featured blistering starts, a cursory review of the match reports doesn’t necessarily substantiate that. However, I believe it axiomatic that early goals force the opposition to become more attack-minded, and this current Arsenal could use every advantage as they endeavor to overcome the opposition low block. I back the wily Spaniard to freshen things up a bit and go with the following line-up:
Ramsdale
Tomiyasu — Saliba — Gabriel — Tierney
Ødegaard — Jorginho — Vieira
Saka — Martinelli — Trossard
Meanwhile, I expect Emery to counter thusly:
Watkins — Bailey
Buendia — Luiz — Kamara — Ramsey
Digne — Mings (if healthy) — Konsa — Young
Martinez
It’s imperative we re-ignite our attacking left side, and I think Tierney could combine with Vieira and Trossard to do just that. Even if Arteta elects, in Partey’s absence, to retain Xhaka for defensive stability, I would expect Tierney and Trossard to combine early and often on the left. On the right, I think Arteta will stick with Tomiyasu (and give him a chance to make amends for Wednesday’s error). Playing Martinelli through the middle is exactly the kind of unorthodox change that could provide some much needed unpredictability. He, Trossard, and Saka could swap roles as needed, and Eddie could come on in the final twenty minutes to terrify tired legs. I like Vieira to provide attacking verve and industry. I’m of the view that the fastest horses are useless, if they aren’t allowed to run, and the Carthaginian Army lived (and died) by its cavalry; so, “Regulators” mount-up.
The ‘Holic Pound
I’m not much of a gambler. I mean, I’ve been known to play a hand or two of Texas Hold ‘Em, and I might be persuaded to contribute to the idiot tax whenever the Powerball exceeds $500MM or so, but I couldn’t begin to tell you how to read odds or find a bookmaker. Current projections have Arsenal at fifty-three percent to win. We need a response, and I expect a fast start from Arsenal on Saturday. Look for Martinelli to get off the schnied and score early. We’re also due for a clean sheet, so I’m forecasting a 0-3 scoreline. In keeping with my line-up prediction, a cursory betting search did return a cheeky 7/1 odds (whatever that means) for Martinelli to score the first goal. As usual, Holics, only bet what you can afford to lose because, when you play for fun, you’ve already won!
Arteta and the lads have labored mightily to get to this point (joint-top with a game-in-hand, may I remind), but, right now, this army needs a bit of spark, a touch of magic. Providing that inspiration is the general’s job. It’s up to him to find the right mixture of personnel, tactics, insight, strategy, and initiative to ensure his army is gestalt. Leading this club, playing for the shirt, and supporting the team are all labors of love. So, although Love’s Labour’s Lost is a comedy with a less-than-humorous ending, if Arteta takes a cue from Lady MacBeth, he may yet find a way to lead us to glory. Time to screw your courage to the sticking place, Mikel.
Have a good one, ‘Holics. Come on you Gunners!
MCMBD.
*Now, before the pedants come for me, rightly, observing that Hannibal was Carthaginian not Spanish, I maintain that, given Hannibal was around nine years old when he accompanied his father, Hamilcar, as the patriarchal Barcid “left” Carthage for Spain, and Hannibal was approximately twenty-nine years old when he assumed command of the Carthaginian Army and set out for Rome, Hannibal was at least as much Spanish as Carthaginian. Hell, I’ve been living in Texas just over twenty years, and I’m definitely a Texan now! If you remain unconvinced, then, it’s my review, so there!
Fabulous debut LG! A worthy addition to our stable of quality writers!
agreed, c100. and lonestar, that first paragraph cries out for a sideways glance at nirvana… i also wonder how many people went to read the asterix before continuing, and laughed at themselves as at least having the flavor of pedantry…i know i did!
i won’t be watching this one live, unfortunately. too early for covid-addled brains to process. however, when i do set eyes on, i hope to see your lineup, though perhaps with white rather than tomi. i’d LOVE to see it with zinchenko in xhaka’s spot to start, i don’t think vieira has the strength to play that, yet.
COYG!
A breath of fresh air…
An infusion of new blood…
A teaspoonful of Texas tea, and not the fossil-based kind.
It’s a spectacular debut by the one and only Lonestar, and that’s just my reaction to the first few paragraphs!
A very happy day in the annals of GHF.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Welcome to the fold Lonestar! And what a debut! Reminiscent of Lawrence Rowe scoring a scintillating debut double century on the home turf at Kingston. It happened before I was born, but I remember it anyway. Coruscating stuff this! Thank you.
I have so many things to say about our season until now and the future and Arteta and Arsenal forever Arsenal and all the hope and the pride and everything that I am overwhelmed into silence!
Let’s just win tomorrow.
Come on Arsenal!
Only a debut of sorts considering this:
A superb preview and a stunning debut, LG. I love your style.
I think your team selection is a tad too revolutionary for our conservative coach and I don’t expect so many changes but I do agree with your observation about the need for change to freshen things up going forward. Mikel is clearly ‘all-in’ on Zinchenko to use your Hold’em terminology and I’m not personally convinced that Vieira is ready for the hurly burly of Villa Park (or any kind of hurly burly, in truth). So I expect the same back four and midfield as started against ‘the-expensively-assembled-€itzens-of-(allegedly)-Off-Balance-Sheet-FC’ (love it) and perhaps we will see your front three though, while I expect Trossard to start, I think Mikel will rest Martinelli rather than Eddie. If rumours are accurate we may see the long lost ESR get a run out, hopefully after 70 minutes, with the game in the bag.
As ever, I will take any kind of win. 3-0 to the good guys would see me in dreamland.
MCMBD (love your evolution!)
A bottle of your favourite tipple is on the bar, sir.
bt8@5, the llama post!
Now that’s what I call a debut! Lovely work Sir.
And a rather good precis of Livy’s Ab Urbe Condita, books XXI and XXII to boot. What’s not to like!
The drinks following Lonestar’s 2012 Goonerholic piece show it was near the height of the Happy Train days, including a reference to the CMC.
Special bonus points to the drinker who is able to recall the meaning of the acronym. Hint: If I’m not mistaken it was called the MC before the second C was added.
Welcome to our motley crew of scribblers, Lonestar. Pulsating debut. And full-in with a Hannibal controversy, to boot. Only in this fine establishment!
I wonder if Arteta will switch the team up as much as you suggest. Trossard, in place of Martinelli, might be the one change to the starting XI. Gabi and Eddie do not gell as Gabi and Jesus do, so there might be mutual benefit in giving Martinelli a rotational rest, with ESR coming on for Trossard and Martinelli for Eddie after 70 mins.
It will be a gritty game. Villa Park has been a miserable hunting ground for us lately: two defeats in our last three games there.
bt8@5: there are some storied names of old in the drinks to that 2012 post. Happy days.
Lonestar ,
If Vikior is brought on tomorrow I hope he has as stunning a debut as this! Terrific stuff,. Entertainining and informative . Well done and welcome !
It’s a HUGE game tomorrow and we must turn this slump around .
I’m assuming Partey won’t be risked but Vieira won’t be anywhere near the team in my view and neither should he. I’m not sure what he brings to the mix yet and tomorrow we need a result . I think White will return , Jorginho will join Xhaka in a sadly one-paced central midfield and Eddie will retain his place although I think Trossard will start.
I desperately hope in a fortnight we are talking about the title and not about hanging on for fourth place . Tomorrow will tell us a lot
Lee Mason is ‘leaving PGMOL by mutual consent’ — or, more likely, has had his hook slung.
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/64683971
TTG@11: we must turn this slump around. Ain’t that the truth!
Excellent preview, Lonestar Gooner!
MCMBD.
What a day!
Many thanks for the warm welcome and especially kind words. I am leaving a bottle of Zacapa on the bar. Help yerselves!
C100, Scruz, Bt8, Dr. F., Baff, CER, Ned, and TTG you’ve made this old, crusty crab just about willing to go softshell. Thank you.
This thing you all have done is truly a testament and a labor of love, and I have a newfound appreciation of all the effort the Guvna expended over those many years. As Jerry counseled George on the loss of his fiancée, Susan, “She’s not really dead if we find a way to remember her.” Well, by your efforts, Dave is here and having a rollicking time.
Scruz @2, “Here we are now…” https://youtu.be/hTWKbfoikeg
Bt8 @5, where’d you find that link? The vibe of the old bar. The Gorams. The Quackery. Wolfie. Llamas! Thank you for taking me back. (The CMC was ONLY for the purest Columbian, btw.) I absolutely snorted! Roger and Di are well, but, unfortunately, Lahaina Coolers did not survive the pandemic.
CER @8, The nose knows. When my kids were little, after bedtime stories, if they refused to go to bed, I would threaten them by warning, “Scipio ad portas.” Such is my delusion.
On to business. Lee Mason is a See You Next Tuesday and he can feck right off into the night.
I agree with you learned commentators that Arteta is unlikely to make as many changes as I projected in the preview (I’ve been playing way to much FIFA with the young’un). However, my intent was to be edgy and prompt discussion. Like I said, I trust Arteta to figure it out.
Iacta alea est.
MCMBD.
Cheers, Cent! Have a drink!
Cent in the house! Excellent. The dust is being kicked up.
btw all we have news of delia, ex-block 112: alive and kicking but not going to games, she’s become an armchair gooner. and son-of-cba still has drinks going to the (not so) naughty step, per his request, but the cba clan is still around.
in other words, glad to see you at the bar, cent (and everyone, always!). buck’s fizz fixings on the bar for those who would indulge with their morning prandials, fresh-squeezed is in the fridge…and a bottle of bushmills 21 for those who are still celebrating lee mason’s departure this evening.
Buck’s Fizz! Thanks for the timely update, Scruz.
Makin’ yer mind up! 😂 With Cent’s drive-by alls we needs now is a cameo from our samurai…
The Happy Train mk IV is revving its engine. All aboard!
MCMBD.
Great stuff Lonestar thanks! Loved the optimism and I will go with 3-0 as well. Time for our forwards to get the shooting boots back on.
Great to hear Delia is well😀
And I will take a slug of bushmills too, it’s been too long but Mason has had it coming ever since he pissed off AW several years ago. I might have to revise my opinion of Webb.
LG @15 – we could do with some Caesar-like bloody mindedness and relentless focus on the result today. Fancy Eddie to deliver the gladius blows with Trossard and Saka providing the artillery to ballista-like effect.
C100, safe travels nd may your pre or post-match balti be as tasty as the result.
COYG
Birmingham bound! COYG!
Great post @15 Lonestar! It’s a labour of love.
A debut par excellence Lonestar right up to the top top standard of the other bar scribes here. Let’s hopes the boys on the pitch at Villa can match this level. I expect maybe no more than 2 changes from the normal starting XI, not sure who will be in & out though.
We needs to put Villa to the sword and get our mojo back – 2-0 will do nicely.
COYRRR
So the Spud supporter who kicked Ramsdale has been given a four year ban from attending matches as part of his punishment.
I’d have thought being forced to attend Spuds games for the next four years would have been more appropriate.
UTA.
Safe travels, C100. I know the away support will be in full voice. Cheers, OsakaMatt. Glad to have one of our samurai in the battle line.
CER, you are correct as usual. Caesar’s efficiency, speed, audacity, and focus would be greatly appreciated against the West Midland barbarian hordes this morning. May the gods be so disposed
If I remember correctly, Caesar’s Legions (one of my favorite Avalon Hill board games btw) often deployed with 60 or so Scorpio per legion. Here’s hoping we avoid any siegeworks by passing with bravery and alacrity. Score first, score often and fill yer boots with Emi’s tears!
Come on you rip-roaring…
MCMBD.
Uply! Cheers, mate!😎
MCMBD
Brilliant, Lonestar !
I never knew how much I never knew 😉
In Esso’s absence, here is the team
Ramsdale
White, Saliba, Gabriel, Zinchenko
Ødegaard, Jorginho, Xhaka
Saka, Nketiah, Trossard
ESR on the bench
That’s the team I think many of us wanted to start. And fingers crossed for ESR should he get on. It’s quite a bench and if you think we have Jesus and Partey to add to it, not to mention Elneny, then we really are beginning to strengthen.
Let’s get back on track, Gunners.
Go win.
Terrible start but Saka stepped and was counted!
CoYGS!
Gave another away, 2-1 down at half time. Big 45 minutes to come.
CoYGS!
Zin getting it back to 2-2, a happy surprise!
Doing it the hard way today.
I really really want Eddie to get the winner. Or Gabi
Or anyone now.
Big miss Ode. CoYGs!
Or Jorginhoooooo
Oh hello
Goal stands
The Lonestar bounce!
well, that was fun. back to sleep, smiling. well done, lads!
@41 SG
Lucky you, I’m so hyped will not be able to sleep
Wow, what a win! Lonestar for president!
COYG
Yeah, going to be a couple of hours for me too.
So happy with that, love this team
That is a huge, battling victory and a massive three points. Plus karma for Martinez. Well done Arsenal. We are still in this race.
Ta liking of keepers – A shout to Rammy as well for two big saves at 2-2
of course, half an hour later my heart is still pounding. time for coffee, a bite, and to greet the day.
What a game and a great demonstration of persistence by our players. Also, what OM said about Ramsdale a couple of drinks back. COYG
Did I forget to say I love Jorginho?
well i do, and have done for quite some time now(checks watch)
Dunno if there’s a photo of it on the web, but post-match there was a great shot of Zinchenko and Jorginho giving each other a hug. Could make a good picture for s match report (hint hint)
That reminds me, I think we have two great match reports to look forward to, including an away day report upon his return from Villa Park by the inimitable c100 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
A fine solo effort for the half ton bt8
Love that moment of transition when you go from having convinced yourself that a point at Villa isn’t such a bad result to the euphoria of a late winner.
Well in for the half-ton, bt8, but a self-assist and a self-pre-assist?
scruz@18: good to hear news of Delia and son-of-cba. Talking of absent friends, has anyone heard from Bodrum Gooneress? Hope she and hers are safe and sound.
Shitteh fans have that same point feeling now Ned.
Hang on Forest!
Tip of the hat to Forest. We remain top of the league.
Not so easy to go to the midlands and win after a tough midweek match 🙂
OM@58: 🙂
ned@55, indeed bodrumgooneress and ray are fine. it was 1600 km from them, so quite a piece. she’s working hard to get her place in the sun, so hasn’t been around other than to read here occasionally…
All good to hear, Scruz. Thanks.
Sunday morning is so much better than Thursday morning.
Indeed it is, Matt, indeed it is…
Morning all! Are we still buzzing. More to come under the match report but that was one of the great away days.
**Awaits match report with keen anticipation**
Quite a few of our games are contenders for Match of the Season ( so far) . Yesterday was a cracker as was Brighton away as was the Spuds at home but United at home was probably the best of all . Lots of entertainment home and away
i agree with you, baff:
Well, I usually agree with TTG but he’s forgotten Liverpoo at home 🙂
To be fair there have been a lot of memorable games this season….
>>>>>>>