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The recent relaxation of our hectic fixture schedule finally allows us to publish the third part of Gunnersaurus Stunt Double’s trilogy on the current state of the game. If you missed his excellent earlier pieces, Part 1, ‘Fishbowl, Anyone?’ can be found here and Part 2, ‘Divided We Fall’ can be found here. Let’s be having (pace Delia) your tuppenceworth in the Drinks.

I should like to start by noting that I wrote this piece last November (2024) but due to scheduling conflict on GoonerholicsForever it is only appearing now. It was not written as a response to any refereeing decision(s) more recent than that, and I leave it to readers to assess if any decisions since November have provided it with additional relevance.

The idea that referees are impartial is ludicrous. Subconscious bias is a scientifically proven phenomenon which impacts how human beings think and how we make decisions. At some level, all (human) referees are biased.

Referees could try their best to mitigate the effects of subconscious bias if they accepted it is something capable of untowardly influencing them. Unfortunately, in a move typical of the culture of PGMOL, they seem to think they are the only group of humans alive who are unaffected by it. But, as ever, they claim expertise and impartiality they do not possess.

If The Face Fits

So, whom are they biased against?

Well, the evidence available is limited by the studies done. There are consistent results from across a variety of sports to show that home teams have an advantage. It is not a huge advantage but noticeable, especially over time.

However, I cannot find any reliable information on some other interesting areas, probably because no-one has studied them properly. There are questions that we need the answers to. 

For me, two pressing ones given our current situation are:

  1. How does subconscious bias affect referees who support one of the clubs they referee?
  2. How does subconscious bias affect referees who support a rival club of those they referee?

Let me briefly note that subconscious bias is, essentially, a phenomenon which sees us favour people and groups who we identify with as being like us or feel an affinity towards, and act against those we see as different to us or feel antipathy towards.

With that understanding, it is no surprise that one of the most studied and widely seen subconscious biases relates to race. The scenarios that this has been found in are legion. For example, overwhelming subconscious bias has been shown to exist across US police forces (as well as overt racism, but that is not today’s topic). This boils down to white people in positions of power who are more likely to believe other white people are law-abiding and honest, and non-white people are less so – and to act on these subconscious assumptions.

Our current crop of referees are almost exclusively white men born around the 1980s who grew up in the North of England. Even at its most progressive, that location in that era was not an environment that would stand up to examination by the standards of today. I would be staggered if PGMOL referees do not have any subconscious racial bias (I’d argue it is vanishingly unlikely as almost everyone does) yet there have been no studies I can find on subconscious racial bias impacting officiating in any sport.

You’ll have to use the eye test to see if Grealish gets freekicks for the same fouls that Saka doesn’t. Whatever conclusions you make, remember that the question is valid, if not vital, and that the common belief that white referees do not consciously favour white players provides those of us who believe this (including me) with a basis for our own confirmation bias, affecting our ability to evaluate this impartially. That makes it even more important that we develop a culture of openly questioning what factors affect the fairness of decisions made, rather than a culture where decisions are above meaningful scrutiny. 

Whose Side Are You On?

There is little empirical evidence for how a referee who supports a club referees them or their rivals – Jarred Gillett on VAR may appear to treat Liverpool like he is their own personal Santa Claus but that isn’t actually evidence of bias, or cheating.

That said, it is worth noting that are there are easily verifiable statistics from statistically significant groups of games overseen by individual referees since the formation of the PGMOL that, all things being equal, can be considered anomalous, at best. Some officials have consistently higher rates of awarding penalties to certain teams, or lower rates of awarding them yellow cards, for example, when compared to the league average and their own personal average.

If they support or have an allegiance to the clubs involved, would we expect to see data like this? Yes.

Would we still expect this even if the individual officials were trying to be impartial and even believe their own propaganda and truly think they are impartial? Yes.

Does it make sense to suggest that our football club allegiances engender subconscious bias? Yes. This has been proved in studies not relating to refereeing and would provide a sound hypothesis to explain the data showing anomalies in the way referees treat certain teams differently to the expected norms.

I can find no-one who has commissioned a study on this. Someone needs to.

A previous article in this series about the necessity of fans from different clubs banding together was met in the bar with much suggestion that there is too much enmity for that, even though it would be to our mutual benefit. When even the conscious bias (in many cases fully developed into a visceral enmity) is this deeply ingrained, it would seem ridiculous to deny the subconscious bias.

The Unlikely Referee

So, without hard data, let’s use our little grey cells; allow me to go on a flight of fancy and imagine that yours truly had been asked to officiate a Spurs game. (You’ll have to assume I had the necessary qualifications and skills, of which I have neither, although the current referees only have one out of two themselves).

I’d recuse myself immediately.

That’s it. It would not go any further.

I should not be anywhere near refereeing a Spurs game. And it is not because I would try to be unfair towards them. I am a huge believer in sporting fair play and would much rather see a fair game that Spurs win than an unfair one which they lose (or a fair Arsenal loss over an unfair win). Indeed, in a nutshell, it is why I am writing this article, because the current situation is intrinsically unfair, and that goes against everything the game stands for to me.

But, no matter how hard I tried consciously to be impartial, I would fail because they are Spurs and I couldn’t put that aside no mater how hard I tried.

Picture it: I would assume Richarlison has not been fouled no matter how much he rolls around on the floor; I reckon there is a high chance that Romero has just missed the ball and kicked some bloke three feet in the air, regardless of how much he makes an incredulous face and does that little two handed roll action to tell me the striker dived, and I have seen Spurs get so many dodgy penalties against us that it would take a two-footed slide tackle from behind for me to be sure enough to award them one. That’s hardly fair, is it?

Although, thinking about it, I’ve seen a quite a lot of refereeing performances that have rather had that feel to them. 

Change The Collective

Put simply, there is no guaranteed way to negate subconscious bias in individuals, but it can be limited structurally within an organisation; in this case by having a wide pool of referees, who have different biases. With regard to biases involving specific teams, these must be clearly identified and the officials who hold them must be kept away from any matches they might affect.

The current group of homogenous white men from the North of England are institutionally unfit to referee the game, without any reference to them as individuals. We need far more representation in terms of age, race, gender, geography, allegiance and doubtless other areas too. The wider the net, the better, as long as they are professional and competent.

Currently, PGMOL employs a small pool of unprofessional incompetents. The worst of all worlds.

PGMOL has also actively refused to release who their referees support because they privately fear it would look bad.

Indeed, it would. Especially in light of many of their contentious decisions.

It should not need saying, but it manifestly does: all referees should have to publicly declare who they support, and no referee should be allowed to be part of the officiating team for any of their own team’s games or the games of their rivals. This would require a far larger group of officials, which is exactly what we need anyway.

PGMOL are against this as it would render most of their current crop of referees unfit to referee many of the teams in the league. Which, of course, they are.

Playing The Long Game

Let me finish by driving home a few points. Regardless of what we think of the current PGMOL officials, and my personal opinion is extremely low, as an institution they are unfit for purpose.

No official should be involved in a game where there is even the possibility of a suggestion of a conflict of interest.

Any homogeneous group of people, in this case middle-aged white men from the North(west) of England, would be unfit for officiating football across England, and any and all focus on the individuals involved and their respective qualities, or lack thereof, fails to address the point that the system itself is inherently flawed.

We need a large pool of diverse and skilled referees.

Anyone or any organisation that says otherwise is part of the problem.

Here’s looking at you, PGMOL.

By ClockEndRider & 21st Century Gooner

Well, that was fun. 

Having played so well at the weekend, it was with considerable anticipation that we made the journey into the nether reaches of the kingdom of the land of the Seal People.   Up at Sparrow’s Fart and off to Heathrow, we started the day bright eyed and bushy tailed.  A Breakfast of Champions at the airport, and then on to the 45 minute flight.  What a pleasure it was not to have a seven-hour coach journey as we did in November.   Landing at an empty Newcastle Airport was a pleasure too and reminded me of the way air travel used to be – a thoroughly pleasant experience.  Straight onto the train into town, having been assisted to buy the correct ticket by a very nice and helpful gentleman who informed us that he wasn’t a Geordie but a Mackem and he hoped we slaughtered Newcastle.  Having dumped our bags at the hotel, we enjoyed a very pleasant walk around the town, which was buzzing with young people.  It must be a great town to go to University in.  A walk in the bright but rather watery sunshine down on the Tyne was further enhanced by a pint in a riverside pub and a walk back towards the train station, stopping in another hostelry or two along the way.  We finally settled in the Gunners, over the road from the station and enjoyed a good chat and a pint or two with some very nice and knowledgeable Geordie fans, before skipping off down the road for a pre-match dinner, also thoroughly enjoyable.

The team which was to start was pretty much as we would have wanted.  And at that point the good bits ended, because next to come was the game itself. A raucous away end saluted the players onto the pitch and we kicked off.  In 3 minutes, Newcastle were ahead with an excellently taken finish from Isak when he had been put through by Gordon after some faffing in the midfield.  It was excellently taken by Isak but finally, after an interminable wait, it was ruled out for a marginal offside.  Apparently the referee announced the decision to the ground over the PA system. At least that’s what the match highlights showed, but it wasn’t in any way audible in the ground, unlike the booming, frankly appalling entrance music which was played as the players came out, so that introduction seems to be purely for the cameras, like so much of the work PGMOL do.  The cancellation was a let-off but the nature of the attack was a precursor of what was to come for much of the remaining 87 minutes.

Ødegaard had a chance in the 18th minute, put through by a pass from Martinelli but his shot hit the outside of the post under pressure from one of the towering Orcs in the Barcodes defence. A minute later and the game was over. A pass from Gordon to Isak, very similar the earlier one put the striker through and he touched once to control and then lashed his shot against the bar from outside the box. Unlike Ødegaard’s effort a minute earlier, the rebound came back kindly across the goal enabling Murphy to slot home, with Raya unable to recover.  For much of the half we huffed and puffed without really looking as though we would blow Howe’s house of bricks down and half time gave us the opportunity to regroup. Seemingly it was an opportunity which we chose not to take along with the half time oranges. After a mere 6 minutes in the second half, the coroner was called and pronounced the game dead.   Raya played a quite appalling pass out towards Rice just outside our box, seemingly failing to see the big bloke wearing black and while standing only yards away from him.  Said walking Everton Mint simply pressured Rice who managed to nick the ball forward to Gordon who passed the ball into the goal.  What a polite bunch of gentlemen we are, offering up such lovely opportunities for the opposition.  The rest of the game passed in a barely memorable series of dulled attacks. We left the ground serenaded by the home fans singing a song about how Arteta blames the ball, referring to a question asked in the media a few weeks ago in reference to the different ball used in the Carabao Cup, which the manager failed to see as a booby trap to be used to create a wholly untrue story about him blaming the ball.  Quite bizarre and indicative just how utterly stupid people can be.  We came back to the hotel bar after the game and it was noticeable how the previously really friendly and nice home fans were now pretty ugly in mood and attitude.  I suppose this is what comes of supporting a northern Tottenham.  Done nothing for 60 odd years but just enough to keep alive the flickering embers of falsehood about being a big club.  Sorry to appear bitter but they were pretty horrible post-match.

Frankly, over three  games this season so far, Nice Eddie has totally had the number of Mikel,  We have hardly laid a glove on them in 3 games   They haven’t battered us, but they haven’t had to.  They have been relatively efficient in front of goal, and we, erm, haven’t.  Overall, it was another enjoyable trip to a very pleasant city that was somewhat soured by the 90 minutes of football we went to watch.

To end, a few points about Geordie Land that I (21CG) would like to make are the people of Newcastle are for the most part, thoroughly decent chaps. I’m sure you would find some colourful characters in the city centre at 2am on a Friday/Saturday night but they are a friendly bunch. St James’ Park is located pretty much bang in the centre which is always convenient. Plenty of things to do, places to eat and drink pre or post-game. Getting in and out of the ground could not have been any easier. I suppose the fact our hotel was only five minutes down the road probably helped but it was very impressive how the flow of fan traffic was managed.  

We have bigger fish to fry.

This feels like a very strange preview to write. While I would never want The Arsenal to lose any game they play, I did at first feel slightly conflicted about this one. My ambivalence, if that is even the right word – and it takes absolutely hours to get one these days – was mostly corrected when we were removed from the FA Cup by North Surrey at the first hurdle.

The problem is that in this season of a crazy number of major injuries, barmy refereeing decisions, red cards, suspensions and illness, we just haven’t had the squad available to take on four competitions. However, at effectively half time in a semi-final I guess we just have to go for this one. I can’t for one half second imagine Mikel Arteta not being 100% up for winning this, albeit from a disappointing start point of 0-2 down.

It’s been the hardest of seasons but to look on the plus side these things have, even if of necessity, provided the opportunity for the likes of Ethan Nwaneri and Miles Lewis-Skelly to graduate from the academy into serious first team consideration. MLS’ eventual position is likely to be in midfield where he has played throughout his development – although he now seems to be first choice at left back – and Arteta has said that he thinks Nwaneri has the qualities required to be a striker. And who could argue with that after his super strikes against Girona and Man City in the last week.

When a club is in the middle of an injury crisis, one of two things tends to happen. Either your form and ultimately your season collapses or you fight your way through it, forced to bring squad players into the team, and emerge eventually with a better and more experienced squad. There has been a fair bit of criticism since the transfer window “slammed” shut about our failure to sign a striker. The loan market was closed to us as we already have our allowance of two loanees from the summer window, and that is really where the opportunity was lost. There is no point buying an average player now – probably for a way above average price – if it is not going to strengthen the squad in the long run and it is hard to find players as good as, or better than, we already have – especially in January.

Imagine what it would have cost to sign players as good as Miles Lewis-Skelly and Ethan Nwaneri in those problem positions in this transfer window if we’d had to try to prise them away from a Bayern Munich or Barcelona. It’s tremendous credit to the job that Per Mertesacker has done with our re-jigged academy since he took over, and it’s always the best feeling watching one – or two ! – of your own succeed.

With all the problems faced so far this season we still sit second in the Premier League and not nearly as cut adrift of Liverpool as some experts have been suggesting all season, and finished third in the Champions League table with a guaranteed place in the last 16.

Great Comebacks

As we’re all well aware, we begin this semi-final second leg two goals down after an oddly subdued performance at the Emirates. I thought for inspiration before this game I’d revisit some brilliant Arsenal comebacks we’ve seen under Mikel Arteta.

From 0-2 down at the Bus Stop in Fulham to a Palmer penalty – surprise, surprise – and a Mudryk accidental cross/lob, Rice and Trossard both scored to secure a 2-2 draw.

At the Emirates against Man Utd – strangely in a Newcastle style away kit – Rashford gave United the lead before Arsenal came back to win 3-1 with goals from Odegaard, Rice and Jesus. Peter Drury commmentated, “they dreamt it up, dreamt it up more and won in style. Rice Rice baby and the angel Gabriel won it right at the end !” Again at the Emirates, Marcus Rashford – the man who can’t really be bothered to play football but just always scores against The Arsenal – gave United the lead. Eddie Nketiah equalised before Saka appeared to have completed the comeback with a glorious left footed curler from distance to make it 2-1. However, Lisandro Martinez then flung himself at a header to force an equaliser, only for Nketiah to put the final touch to an Odegaard shot to win at the death again.

And finally, it had to be Tottenham. In what Drury described as “a maelstrom of mutual antipathy” Thomas Partey put the Gunners ahead only for the inevitable Harry Kane penalty to draw level. Gabi Jesus and Granit Xhaka then sank the Spuds to send us to the top of the league. So not all comebacks from a 0-2 deficit but they all demonstrate the never say die spirit instilled in this club and this team, whoever plays, by Mikel Arteta. If you fancy a look at the action, here’s the link – (it’s great !)

Arsenal CRAZY Comebacks Under Mikel Arteta – Peter Drury Best Commentaries! – YouTube


Can we do it again ?

Against Newcastle in recent seasons we have often looked the better team while they have had Joelinton, Guimaraes and Burn particularly knock us about with a friendly referee and VAR in reserve just in case their strong arm, low block failed. They should be better than that and they do indeed in Alexander Isak have one of the top strikers in the world, well supported by wingers Murphy and Gordon. After our lacklustre performance in the first leg our players will surely be motivated to put that right in a very testing but doable second leg whichever tactics Newcastle adopt. It has emerged on Monday that Joelinton is a doubt for them with a knee injury that forced him off after an hour against Fulham at the weekend. Another player who always worries me is Harvey Barnes but he will also be continuing his spell on the sidelines.

We won’t have Bukayo Saka to score us a wonder goal this time but we do have his very special looking 17 year old understudy, Ethan Nwaneri. At this stage he is, of course, exactly that – a special looking prospect and not a player on which to heap reliance and expectation. You wouldn’t have thought so though watching his first start in the Champions League last week against Girona, when he fired in a “Saka curler” with his left foot from the edge of the area. And then for good measure he repeated the feat on Sunday against Man City. Same distance, same curve, same power, same accuracy to score what was probably the goal of the game.

And while we’re talking about our special youngsters, let’s remember that in that same Champions League game against Girona, the relatively “experienced” 18 year old, Miles Lewis-Skelly ended the night holding the Man of The Match trophy. He popped up with a goal of strength and quality against Man City too – a massive bonus in addition to his defensive abilities.

It remains to be seen whether they will start, or feature at all against Newcastle, or their playing time will be managed. These are two precious youngsters and while we would all love to see them play, they have to be protected against stress injuries at this stage of their hopefully long careers. What is known is that the Arsenal will continue to miss Ben White, Takehiro Tomiyasu although he is reportedly nearing a return, Gabriel Jesus and Bukayo Saka as mentioned above.

Newcastle lost for the second home match running against Fulham at the weekend and they will have a decision to make. Do they come out to attack with their 2-0 lead or try to sit on it and hand Arsenal the initiative. They might be nervy after two straight defeats and if we can score first it would put a very different complexion on the game.

I hope the travelling Gooners sing up if there is sufficient oxygen to sustain them in the lower stratosphere of St James Park, support well and should we actually win, don’t lose their heads, or whatever the current favoured punishment of their owners is for over celebrating in Newcastle.

The Toon hordes will doubtless be displaying acres of bare, tattooed, unfettered flesh on another freezing cold evening – I’ve seen those Geordie lasses queuing for the clubs on a Friday night. One of them went into a local hairdresser and asked for a perm. She looked surprised when the girl serving her began to recite “I wandered lonely as a cloud ……..”

The referee is Simon Hooper. What I hope not to see is VAR John Brooks thieving from us on behalf of the Magpies. Kick off 20.00 UK – TV coverage on Sky Sports.

Myles Lewis-Skelly relaxes after scoring Arsenal's third.
Myles Lewis-Skelly relaxing after he scores.

As Dave would say, it is one of the good days. How much would he have enjoyed that?

It started badly though. Five minutes before kickoff, a tea-related accident saw me fail to place the filter jug securely on the sideboard and my desperate fumbling did not manage to prevent it crashing to the floor, cracking its plastic and spilling water everywhere. As I scurried with old cloths, I reflected that my handling is not as solid as Raya’s and that I was glad he had been passed fit to start.

Two minutes into the game and we were ahead from our second shot. Akanji received the ball from Stones just outside his own area and a heavy touch offered Trossard all the encouragement he needed to get a foot in. The ball squirted to Rice who layed it to Havertz with a lightning first time pass. The German played it unselfishly to Odegaard and our captain found the net despite a flick off Stones whose despairing dive wasn’t enough to save his mate’s blushes.

At this point, I wondered if I was gonna have to wreck a Brita before every match from now on.

I was on my feet when we had the ball in the net again three minutes later, but Martinelli had gone too early and was clearly offside. Calm down everyone.

City had more possession, the aging Silva dropping deep to start plays for them, whilst Odegaard did the same for us. The half progressed uncomfortably. It really is no fun playing this lot. They’ve got a good record against us, there is a lot on the line, and they are good enough that they can punish any mistake, meaning that every error leaves me with my heart in my mouth. So do near misses for us, and that familiar sinking feeling made an unwelcome return after twenty-five minutes when Rice nicked in to steal the ball high up the pitch and it fell to Havertz in the penalty box. As City’s defenders and keepers scrabbled back, our striker took time to steady himself before dragging his shot wide. We should have been two up and I was worried that one would come back to haunt us.

It could well have done before the half time whistle but for a couple of outstanding saves from Raya. The first came from a Gvardiol header direct from a corner, a fantastic hand to push the ball up and out via the bar, frustrating the waiting Haaland. For the second, he got down quickly at his near post to block a Savinho shot deflected off Saliba’s ankle. 

Their Brazilian was fouled by the impassable Timber who got a reasonable (if soft) yellow card, but Peter Bankes ignored Savinho brandishing an imaginary card (unless he saw it and simply followed the instruction). He also ignored Bernardo Silva when he charged Odegaard with a leading elbow as a high ball came down. The City captain was not watching the ball and simply played the man; it was a yellow all day long, unless you are playing against Arsenal. 

Half-time came, and I could not be sure what had caused the lead and so was not entirely sure whether to smash the magimix or chuck a bucket of water on the kitchen floor. I ended up doing neither but regretted it within ten minutes of the restart when a bright spell from City led to a Haaland goal. He had only touched the ball five times in the first half, never decisively, but he made up for it when he shrugged off Saliba to head home a Savinho cross. The Frenchman won’t want to watch it back. The Norwegian looked satisfied with himself, which I cannot find fault with, but also had the sense to direct a fairly muted celebration at his own team’s fans after his much-publicised antics in the last game seemed to backfire. It was probably to prove a wise decision.

I had been hoping for a clean sheet, but it had not happened, and I’d barely steeled myself to go again when we were ahead once more. A poor pass from the insecure Foden was intercepted by Partey and he raced through the middle. The crowd screamed ‘shoot’ and he obliged with a middling effort that was headed straight for Ortega’s arms until it deflected off Stones and looped into the far corner. I screamed ‘get in’ so loudly and with such a fierce mixture of elation and venom that, ironically, both our cats bolted out the cat flap. I haven’t seen them since.

Five minutes later and we reached my favourite moment of the match. The utterly brilliant Lewis-Skelly found a pocket of space infield on the left, received a pass from Rice and took off towards goal. He cut in and shot well with his weaker foot, Ortega palming the ball off the post and into the net. The young man ran off to celebrate his first professional goal, sitting down in front of the home faithful and replicating Haaland’s meditation celebration. It was bold, it was ballsy, it was funny and, to my thorough enjoyment, it was dismissive. He didn’t spare a thought to the notion that he might light a fire under the league’s most deadly striker, so confident was he that we were going to win. This kid is not only a great player but he has an attitude and a self-belief I’ve rarely seen, far above most players. Saka and Nwaneri are quieter, but this young man puts himself centre-stage and then delivers. He’s got a huge future ahead of him and I can’t wait to see it unfold.

Martinelli went through soon after, his effort was well saved. Trossard recycled the rebound and kept the ball under pressure from Nunes. Silva, full of frustration, chased back and petulantly kicked our mesmeric Belgian. It should have been a second yellow card and a sending off. Instead, he received no sanction. The irony that he’d perpetrated his second yellow-worthy offence against Trossard was not lost on me. No matter who you are or what your agenda, what it beyond debate is that Silva in this game did more to warrant a red card than Trossard did at their place. Instead, less than a minute later Odegaard got a yellow for dissent after he was (correctly) penalised for a soft foul on Kovacic. Arsenal don’t get reffed the same as other teams – argue as much as you like about why that might be, but it is a fact, whatever the reasons.

While I’m at it, changing the interpretation of a law midway through a season is the same as changing the law, and anathema to fair competition. City players delayed restarts all over the pitch all game but not a single one got a yellow.

Mind you, they did get thumped…

Havertz got in on the act to make it four. A quick break started by the imperious Partey saw Martinelli race upfield and he layed it off to Havertz who cut onto his left foot and found the far corner. For the first time in years against this lot, I began to enjoy the watching experience.

We made some subs, Gabriel found himself on the right wing and dragged the ball through to Nwaneri in a bit of skill Ozil would have been content with. The magnificent crowd were enjoying themselves and the oles started up.

In injury time, there was time for one more. Rice swung a long diagonal to Nwaneri (this type of switch had ironically been City’s most effective tactic) and the young man cut inside and found the far corner from outside the area for the second time this week with the penultimate kick of the game. Hale End product with, err, end product.

So, lets get it right, this was a statement win. This was a thrashing. It started off tense but as it wore on we simply overran them. Partey was magnificent and shares MOTM with Lewis-Skelly for me. Everyone was excellent, and they thoroughly deserve all their flowers. Arteta too, he nailed everything today.

There is a long way still to go in this title race. So far, Liverpool have had everything their own way, whilst we have had everything go against us. But we are still in it, and we are a team to be feared. Keep the faith.

Until next time, ‘holics.

In recent years a rivalry between Arsenal and Manchester City has slowly started to simmer. Following City’s Arab takeover in the autumn of 2008, the blue side of Manchester has begun to take a hold over the English football landscape.

For many years Arsenal were mainly preoccupied with the red half of Manchester but when Emmanuel Adebayor left N5 for the Etihad, and proceeded to celebrate a goal in front of his former fans a few weeks later we began to take notice of what was previously a very nothingy club.

City would also pinch Samir Nasri and Gael Clichy from us later on as they went on to dominate English football, a monopoly that is only now showing signs of thawing. Since 2012, City have won eight League Titles, a host of domestic cups and one Champions League in 2023. Prior to their takeover, they had a mere two League Titles in well over a century. That’s less than Preston, Leeds, Sunderland, Huddersfield, Wolves, Aston Villa and Everton. But the same as Tottenham. It just goes to show what miracles can be achieved with a bottomless pit of money.

During my time in Manchester, I found the geographical location of the fanbases of the respective Manchester clubs quite amusing. Whilst we always mock United fans for being from London and most away games being more like home games for them, the bulk of City’s following comes from Greater Manchester. United have fans from everywhere but the city in which they reside and City have fans from Manchester but nowhere else. I was there almost three years and virtually every United and City fan lived up to that stereotype. I suppose you can buy as many hollow trophies as you wish, but passion cannot be bought. Not with money anyway.

It’s an interesting city, Manchester. Historically perceived as a working class industrial hotspot, it is famous for three things; football obviously, Music and most notoriously, rain. And not just any rain. Cold, slanty, drizzly, ever present rain. In Manchester, it never rains, but it never pours either. It just drizzles. Constantly. Manchester has received a great deal of government funding since the turn of the millennium. It’s a city full of dull, characterless high rise buildings, much to the disdain of it’s three million residents. I know Birmingham is officially the UK’’s “second city” but really, everyone knows it’s Manchester. Just a shame it holds two nauseating football clubs. nauseating for very different reasons of course.

Sheikh Mansour has undoubtedly transformed City’s fortunes unimaginably. In my school days I was lucky enough to embark on a football tour to Manchester City where we visited and played at their state of the art training ground and it really is something special. To their owner’s credit, much of Manchester’s regeneration project has been down to them. I think that’s what we now know to refer to as “sportswashing”. It really is a form of hypnosis. Look at all these really lovely things we’re doing with our dirty laundry, marvel at it instead of wondering where it actually comes from! What a bunch of thoroughly wholesome and decent chaps we are! We’ve taken this previously also ran club (if that) and turned it into a global superpower almost overnight. Aren’t we clever? Well perhaps they are because up to this point, City have well and truly got away with it. Of course the hearing regarding their 115 (so we’re told) charges concluded some weeks ago and we await the verdict with baited breath. So maybe they won’t have got away with it for much longer. I’m sure those rascals can find their way out of it. They always do.

Of course we don’t have much insight into what their punishment should their alleged guiltiness be proven will actually entail. Relegation down several divisions would be nice. For the entire club to spontaneously combust would be the best possible outcome. Does spontaneous combustion come under the remit of the investigative body? Even if it does not, I’m sure it can be arranged.

But what about the game itself? Well I suppose a win would be jolly nice. We haven’t had many of those in recent times. Against tomorrow’s opponents that is. We have actually won quite a few games in recent times. But what is recent? A week? A year? Nine years maybe? Lots can happen in nine years. 115 breaches of financial fair play for example. We only have one league win over city in nine years although that came in this fixture last year as a late Martinelli strike deflected deliciously off Nathan Ake’s backside gave us a 1-0 win over pep. A repeat of that would be lovely.

So who will make the 11 tomorrow? Here is my prediction. Please don’t take it as gospel.

Raya
Timber Saliba Gabriel Calafiori
Partey Rice Ødegaard
Martinelli Havertz Trossard

In all honesty, we have little room for manoeuvre in terms of changes from the Wolves game. I think you just have to start Partey as the 6. Let Rice do his thing further forward. And I would assume it will be Trossard off the left to start with and Gabi on the right. Expect them to interchange as the game goes on.

This is a game we kind of have to win to keep in touch with Liverpool but then again every game is a must win at this point. What does must win even mean? What will happen to us if we don’t win? Will we all spontaneously combust? Will Martinelli’s legs turn into a block of cheddar? No, if we don’t win we will still be second, and Twitter will go into meltdown. Which happens every day anyway so who cares? The title is unlikely but lots of things are unlikely but have still happened. The chances of you being born and reading this article are roughly one in four trillion. That mainly applies to you being born and not so much reading this article. I don’t know what the odds for that would be. Probably a few more trillion. And what are the odds of Arsenal winning the league this season? I don’t know but probably better than one in four trillion. Unlikely but possible.

Keep that in mind as we motor on to the end of the season.

COYG!!

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