First, further fanks – sorry, thanks – to Ned for stepping into the breach yesterday at literally no notice. Brilliant job, Ned!
I did consider it myself but had to at least make a start on that least appealing of tasks – the annual accounts 😱. At least this mission gave me 24 hours leeway. I did have a very quick look for some Portsmouth info this morning, fearing that the match might not be much to write home about, and was quite impressed with the place, particularly the number and quality of famous people who have emanated from it’s environs.
Have you ever emanated from an environ, Mrs? No, not him!
So, we all know Portsmouth, at least in football terms,as “Pompey”. But why? Well, the term is deeply tied to its Royal Navy history, with popular theories pointing to sailors scaling Pompey’s Pillar (Matron!) in Egypt (earning them the “Pompey Boys” handle), or perhaps a reference to the Roman general Pompey, but no single origin is definitive, with connections to “ancient ruins” and football club chants also cited. Hands up, anyone who is not now thinking of Harry Redknapp ?
Here are some of the main theories: Pompey’s Pillar: In 1781, sailors from Portsmouth climbed the large column in Alexandria, Egypt, becoming known as the”Pompey Boys,” a name that eventually attached to the city. Aggie Weston’s Talk: A popular story involves naval temperance worker, Agnes Weston, giving a talk on the Roman general Pompey the Great, a sailor supposedly shouted, “Poor old Pompey!” at his downfall, a phrase that was later adopted by fans of Portsmouth Football Club. Shakespeare: Another idea links it to Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra, with the line “Pompey is strong at sea,” connecting to the powerful naval presence in Portsmouth. French Warship: Some believe it came from the captured French warship Le Pompee, which became a guardship in Portsmouth Harbour.
So there you have it – whether you wanted it or not ! While the nickname is firmly established for the city and its football club, Portsmouth FC, it’s exact origin remains a “charming mystery, with strong naval roots” – according to whichever robot wrote that for Mr Google.
I would also inform you, as I had no idea, that the impressive list of literary, entertainment, and political figures who have hailed from Portsmouth includes Charles Dickens, probably the most globally recognized figure, actor Peter Sellers, musician Roger Daltrey (The Who, and famous Gooner crooner). Other famous names include author H.G. Wells, engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel and former Prime Minister James Callaghan. And let’s not omit sporting Olympians, sprinter Roger Black and sailor Ben Ainslie. And now, with all this talk of Pompey, Pompeii and Pompey’s Pillar – no, don’t titter, Mrs! – I feel a Frankie Howerd moment coming on ……
The Prologue!
At least the match was able to go ahead – a matter of some speculation after Storm Goretti had wreaked its havoc across the southern end of the country. Sympathies must go out to those people injured or worse by the storm, and those still without power or unable to clear up as a fresh band of weather makes conditions extremely difficult.
The much guessed at Arsenal line-up for this FA Cup 3rd Round tie turned out to be:
Kepa; White, Nørgaard, Gabriel, Lewis-Skelly; Merino, Nwaneri, Eze; Madueke, Martinelli, Jesùs; Subs: Raya, Timber, Salmon, Ødegaard, Zubimendi, Rice, Saka, Havertz, Gyökeres.
First Half
Portsmouth started with high energy and aggression while Arsenal over elaborated much of their passing out from the back. Not a great ploy for a much changed, disconnected back four and Portsmouth took advantage on just 2 1/2 minutes, with Colby Bishop firing home Kepa’s parry.
Portsmouth 1-0 Arsenal
Arsenal responded well and earned their first corner of the game on 6 minutes. It was taken by Eze, headed on by Martinelli, and scrambled home by Nørgaard through a mass of legs and bodies.
Portsmouth 1-1 Arsenal
Of our two youngsters, MLS was struggling to cope with the physicality of Portsmouth’s forwards and was still straying infield, on occasion occupying Nørgaard’s territory on the right side of the defence. He did seem to restrict himself as the half wore on – maybe after a word of caution from a tense looking boss on the touch line. Nwaneri, meanwhile, was showing some great touches in midfield and demonstrating good determination to keep the team moving forwards whenever possible.
If Portsmouth were really lacking ten first team players, they didn’t look like it and were making life difficult for the Arsenal, doubtless fuelled by a noisy crowd and the adrenaline of a big occasion. On 24 minutes Nwaneri and Madueke earned our second corner with a nice flowing move. It was taken by Madueke and, this time, Martinelli rose to head straight home with a well directed header. That was no less than our 16th goal of the season from corners.
Portsmouth 1-2 Arsenal
Our scorer curled a long shot just wide of the far post before Nwaneri and Madueke combined in a move which saw the latter brought down in the box and awarded a penalty. He took the kick himself and unfortunately shot wide after a stuttering walk up which beat the keeper and the right hand post. Three minutes of added time did, in fact, produce little to write home about and the half ended with no further score. It could have been 1-4 at that stage had we converted the penalty and not hit the post shortly beforehand.
HT: Portsmouth 1-2 Arsenal
The second half saw early pressure from Pompey and two great blocks from Ben White. He has quite different qualities to Jurrien Timber and it would be great to see him back in the squad with those options to offer. On 50 minutes, Arsenal broke from a free kick and Gabi Jesùs arced a brilliant ball to the far post where the outrageous thug, Gabriel Martinelli netted with the outside of his right foot.
Portsmouth 1-3 Arsenal
As Arsenal began to increase their control, Portsmouth decided to kick as many players as possible in the shortest possible time and picked up a couple of yellow cards for their trouble. Their fans got a bit antsy too and, in tune with their strong naval connections, appeared to be calling Gabriel an “anchor” over on the left touch line. 🤷♂️
On the hour mark, Madueke took corner number 3, which was inevitably headed by Martinelli, but this time into the crowd.Portsmouth brought on a couple of subs – substitutes, not submarines – and the immediate, resulting pressure saw Ben White given a yellow card before he was in turn brought off with Jesùs and Nwaneri, in exchange for – drum roll please – Kai Havertz!!, Martin Odegaard and Jurrien Timber. Almost immediately our £60 million of drain fodder played a beautiful ball for Madueke whose shot was deflected for corner number 4. Up jumped Gabi Martinelli who completed his first senior hat trick with a superbly directed header beyond the Pompey keeper.
Portsmouth 1-4 Arsenal
Portsmouth made further substitutions which marked Zak Swanson’s swansong, and Arsenal responded by bringing on 16 year old Marli Salmon, our youngest ever representative in the FA Cup. He looked smooth and calm on the ball but, disappointingly, was not required to leap, at all. I don’t know exactly how big our squad is but the debutant wore Number 89!
Eberechi Eze forced corner number 6 as Martinelli was replaced by Zubimendi. Portsmouth breathed a sigh of relief that Martinelli was no longer there to head home and one Pompey defender breathed similarly, for different reasons, as he collapsed with a hamstring injury. Luckily for him, he had already rolled well clear of the pitch and Martinelli was already settled on the bench, way out of shoving or ball hurling distance!
Corners number 7 and 8 passed without further ado and the final whistle blew after just three minutes of added time.
FT Portsmouth 1-4 Arsenal
So it was great to see the return of Kai Havertz. Eze was unspectacular but was also calm on receiving and in using the ball. Mikel Merino, our Mr Adaptable, played flawlessly at No 6 – yet another role in this team.
We all know that we have a lot of high quality players in our squad. Some of them looked a little hesitant or uncertain in the first half today. That may have been because so many of them came into the team at once, maybe because of some aggressive but mostly fair pressure from the opposition, and maybe because of what the commentator referred to as “wild weather on the south coast”.
The manager’s options are currently governed by injuries, but to get the best out of all of these players over the season, maybe it will be on the agenda to rotate them in one or two at the time, once everyone is available.
Yes, I know …..
And so, the middle of January finds us top of the Premier League, top of the Champions League, in the semi-final of the Carabao Cup and in the 4th Round of the FA Cup. Arteta ahhttt!!!
Cheers Trev and thanks for your fine report which I successfully navigated. Our boys dideven more successful navigation duties. Now I must be off to figure out what could possibly rhyme with Anchor but let the chips fall where they may amidst the flotsam and the jetsam.
Thanks Trev, a great report I mast say, of a victory that
was plain sailing by the end
Thanks for that speedy report at short notice, Trev. You must have tacked well into that head wind from hMRC. Much appreciated. I was unable to watch the match live but did so some 2 hours later having managed to stay in deep purdah so as to be ignorant of the result. It looked a tad choppy after 3 minutes but we looked ship shape after 10 minutes once their defender holed his team below the waterline under pressure from a corner lofted like a bow line tossed onto a bollard. Our corners were up to the standard of our regular takers and Martinelli excelled at putting the ball in the net in a manner I have rarely seen him do – to think the drongos in our midst (none here, I should add) wanted him sold in the summer. An absolute delight to see Commander Havertz come to the prow and through his control, interplay and athleticism show us what we’ve been missing. Break out the rum, bosun! There be good times ahead.
Fine work Trev, an accurate report leavened with humour. I think you were a bit harsh about the Portsmouth tacking. They weren’t bad at all given it was a 3rd Round Cup tie in January on a wet pitch.
I feared for us at the start but we equalised quickly . Nwaneri impressed me a lot, MLS didn’t impress me at all but we did get to see how deep the squad is, spared Declan’s legs completely and gave Gyokeres a rest. Havertz looked a smooth operator up top and Martinelli and Madueke , as well as Gabby Jesus moved very well. Marley Salmon came on and we are in Round 4
I very much enjoyed all your navy lark, Trev. Pull up a bollard and take the weight off your nauticals.
The OED says the oldest reference it has found to ‘Pompey’ is from 1709, in a sentence in Barnaby Slush’s book on the Royal Navy that refers to ‘Caesars, Pompeys and Jowlers’. I got down my dog-eared copy (OK, found the text in a digital library), and Caesars, Pompeys and Jowlers are clearly some sort of Royal Navy sailors; I am guessing the terms come from slang names of the warships they served on. Slush had been a cook on HMS Lyme, so presumably he would have been familiar with the lingo, and as he was writing about the grievances of Royal Navy seamen, would have assumed his readers were, too.
I thought MLS had a curate’s egg of a game. Towards the end, he seemed to be playing left centre back alongside Nørgaard, with Timber outside him at left back. Both Cashley and Clichy were dodgy defenders at MLS’s age, so I guess we should make some allowances for future development. I do wonder, though, if his future isn’t as a Zubimendi-type DM.
Nwaneri looked good until he tired. There is a talent there if Arteta can harness it.
I also thought that Arteta’s post-match comments calling out Martinelli’s inconsistency were telling.
Cheers Trev. Great pre/post-view, now complemented by Ned and/or his monks.
In the end, a routine win for Corner FC (but not Penalty FC).
Great to have Havertz back, I thought his movement and touch looked promising again already.
Cheers Trev!
I grew up in Tamworth, shithole – but I distinctly remember one story in the local paper from those days. A youth was convicted and fined for Insulting Behaviour towards the police. His defence in court – all he was shouting was, “…any chance of a lift to The Anchor”.
The BFG is stepping down at the end of the season. It appears to be at his request .
He has done a fine job for the club but I wonder if there are internal dynamics we are not aware of.
I still revere him for his performance in the 2017 FA Cup Final when he came back from injury to play a blinder
A very well described, good old fashioned cup tie, Trev, that started in good old cup tie fashion with the PL leaders surrendering a goal meekly within three minutes to a team of Championship relegation candidate strugglers.
I thought there was much that was good. Kai Havertz returned in style in what may well represent a pivotal event in our title challenge. Nwaneri dazzled in a style that would guarantee a spot in every squad in the League except Arsenal’s. Merino proved that he’s the Swiss Knife of European football with a MOTM performance , Marli leapt into 16 year old action in the fashion that would not be exceeded by many young Salmon and Gabi Martinelli stuck it to his doubters with a tidy hat rick that might easily have been worth a fiver. What’s not to like?
Not right over on the other side of the coin, but, let’s say, on the edge as we’re turning the coin over, Noni showed again that he is a player of great promise who can neither defend nor take penalties (remember his pre-season duffer vs Villareal replayed on Sunday?). Miles looked rusty and confirmed my view that his future lies in left midfield not LFB and, somewhat worryingly, Eze was fairly anonymous against a team in which his game should have been imperious.
No matter. We’re into Tuesday night’s draw; several of our kingpins had a good break and we go again against Chelski’s bone crunchers on Wednesday night. Two more red cards on the horizon for Caicedo and Cinder’s ugly sister CuckooRella? Let’s hope so.
COYG and NLFE.
@8, that’s disappointing news, TTG. Although he was never an obvious candidate (in my mind) for the role, my sense is that his leadership at Hale End has been very successful and important to continued development of excellence there.
Candidates to replace him?
That is a pity about the BFG but he’s done 8 years in the job
and I can understand if he wants to do something else. Best of luck
to him,
A great and very funny write up Trev. It was a cracking FA Cup away day to celebrate my return to games. My first visit to Fratton Park. What a lovely old School ground, improved just enough ( a roof over the away end and safe standing). A sausage roll and Bovril provided old School scran.
Good banter with the Pompey crowd who supported their team well, with the Pompey chimes ringing out. A horn pipe serenading their mascot. A great and loud away end. Every player’s song was sung, with special enthusiasm for Gabi M (he comes from São Paulo you know) and Kai. As always it was the spontaneous chants that make an away day so enjoyable. I’m sure we all remember John “Portsmouth Football Club” Westwood, with his bell, tattoos, dreadlocks and top hat. Was he still here? With no big screen we didn’t know but could just hear a bell. The Arsenal faithful demanded “Where’s the wanker with the bell?”
When a Portsmouth player went down on the touch line we sang “Gabi, Gabi give him a push!” Followed swiftly by something every football fan can get behind
“ Gary Neville!
You’re a wanker
You’re a wanker”
I thought Merino, Norgaard, and Nwaneri were excellent. Noni always looked dangerous but lost the ball far too easily. Let us never mention his penalty miss again. Kai’s cameo was wonderful. The corner taking was terrific in the absence of Rice and Saka. A different Gabriel applied the finishing touches.
A calm, confident performance after the first five minutes.
I’m off to Stamford Bridge on Wednesday. I’ve never seen us win there (three draws).
Sad about Per.
Welcome back to the fray, C100, hope you can get a win at the Bus Stop for once, although given it’s just a first leg, carrying on with your draws series might be good enough.
C100@12: Great to read that you are back on the road. Be a lucky geezer at the Bus Stop.
Parsing departure statements is always more art than science, but it might be that the BFG has something else lined up. The long lead time, combined with the club’s statement that it will start a succession process, suggests it is pre-emptive of something.
A warm welcome back to the away day reports!
Thanks C100, good to hear thé travelling faithful
still have a sense of humour.
The Neville chant was heard loud and clear on the TV feed, if you ever wondered, C100.
They couldn’t censor it (also I believe it was shown on a Channel competing with Sky in the UK anyway :-)).
Commentators on commentating: https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6932391/2026/01/11/commentators-survey-drury-strong/
Many thanks for the kind ones, fellas !
C100 – great to see you back at games – that’s quite a turn around – and looking forward to the on the spot reports 👍🏻
Trev – my recovery owes much to your healing hands! Thanks fella.
I read this morning that the TNT (it’s not dynamite) commentary at Portsmouth included multiple references to Martinelli/Bradley event. There wasn’t a whisper of such on A.com where Dan Roebuck had to soldier through 40 minutes alone because Clarkie got in a Big Town (Portsmouth) traffic jam and turned up late. I was puzzled by their references to Norgaard. Dan kept calling him Norville and Clarkie seemed to go with Norgill once he joined in.
Do the Danes pronounce Gaard as Vill or Gill? Asking for a friend who needs to know this kind of stuff.
I neglected to add one thing. There was no VAR. Such a pleasure to celebrate a goal (after a quick glance at the Lino) without having to wait five minutes watching a ref with his finger pressed to his ear.
BtM@20: “Nurr-gaw” with the a ‘aw’ run together as a single long sound, not a diphthong..
I can confirm that the ex-pro pundit on the TNT broadcast did indeed repeatedly refer to the Martinelli/Bradley incident, especially early on. In one comment, she went as close to implying that Martinelli caused Bradley’s injury as you can get without baldly stating it. In another, she called Martinelli a disgrace. In a third, she opined after one of Martinelli’s goals that Pompey’s keeper should have cleaned out player and ball. A ‘not good enough for me’ type comment that ex-pro commentators make too often. To his credit, the match commentator repeatedly chimed in to tone down her remarks. I don’t know either’s name but I have heard the ex-pro pundit before and found her punditry to be of low quality. Graeme Le Saux seems to be the gold standard, followed by Lee Dixon.
Ned @23, BtM – I believe the commentator was Sam Matterface who used to commentate on TalkSport radio before switching to TV. His sidekick is Lucy Ward who I think was a footballer – no idea who for. As a co-commentator / pundit she is a motor mouth, droning bore who adds nothing to what you can clearly see. Nothing, that is, except her own brand of constant negativity if the Arsenal are playing. I can’t bear listening to her. The only choice is BtM’s radio solution but then it is out of synch and you lose all the fried noise.
Fried noise ?? autocorrect just generates it’s own brand of nonsense rather than making sensible corrections. Supposed to be ‘crowd noise’
And here was I thinking that fried noise was the latest multisensory experience to beserved up in a Chinese restaurant cinema.
Trev@24: Thank you for the missing info. It must be her. Your description fits to the T.
Wigan at home in the Fourth round of the FA Cup. By far from the worst of draws. Happy to see Villa getting the Barcodes. That will get rid of one or the other of them.
Xabi Alonso straight to Man U? Out of the frying pan into the mire? (I’ll get my coat. Oh! Trev’s already holding it…)
I thought it might have been crowd noise, but then fried noise at some appeal, I wondered where it came from. Especially as over here when there are communications problems we talk about ‘friture sur la ligne’.
@24 Trev, The crowd noise comes through splendidly and completely unfried and non-aromantic. Occasionally screen and sound are in sync. I really don’t mind if they aren’t. I don’t need anyone telling me what’s happening ( a la Lucy Ward). If an incident arises I take a view on it and then shortly afterwards (5 secs max) Clarkie agrees, disagrees or adds some additional perspective as a mate would do in the pub or even in the stadium. If the Arsenal team or players need to be criticised, they are – but in a sensible Arsenal fan fashion – completely absent rhetoric in the style of the loony tunes merchants on Sky and elsewhere.
Excellent and speedy write-up from Trev. Wholeheartedly agree with C100’s view of Fratton park and the locals. The ground was old fashioned and all the better for it, the staff and stewards were helpful and welcoming and the locals were noisy, boisterous and very friendly. Loved it.
Also agree with BtM re synching up Arsenal Player comms with tv pictures. Yes, it means being a little behind the action in real time, but then one doesn’t have to suffer the faux outrage, confected hysteria and vacuous commentary offered by Sky and TNT, in the UK. Adrian Clarke says it like it is, is often well ahead in explaining to simpletons like me the tactical battles going on and doesn’t shy away from praise or censure for either team, referees, linesmen or benches where appropriate. The best coverage I have found, though, is in the CL with Amazon. They have excellent pre-match coverage, often with players who appear on the other channels. The difference is that these players are clearly instructed to talk sensibly and they are well managed by the presenters so that they don’t talk rubbish. Clearly Sky, TNT and BBC do the complete opposite. Amazon also have the option to listen, in-game, to just the crowd noise. I think Sky removed this option a number of years ago, probably because that way they couldn’t bring about and direct the requisite opprobrium at the selected event/player/ manager/team.
CER, BtM – thsnks for the upgrade on commentary, synching etc.
You will be pleased to hear that I have looked into the fried noise and it turns out to be crackling. 🐷
Heh, Trev.
Trev@32: 👏👏👏
>>>>>>>