Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
Karn Evil 9; Emerson, Lake & Palmer (1973)
We’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along…”
Greetings and salutations from the Republic of Tejas! Please pardon this brief epistle, as circumstances this week have conspired against your humble correspondent from the New World. I hope you find these musings a satisfactory amuse-bouche given the inability of Eddie Howe’s Magpie Army to set today against €iteh a suitable table for our enjoyment.
As many of this fine establishment’s regulars know, I grew up as the son of local elected officials in the State of Georgia. This was a burden most of the time. There simply wasn’t much leeway to engage in the usual teenage hijinks when your father held county-wide office. Everyone knew, and was ready to report, if I showed-up at the “wrong” party or associated with the “wrong” person. Heaven forbid I get detained for a harmless high school prank…but I digress.
One of the few perks, however, came in the summer when my dad attended his yearly conference sponsored by the National Association of Counties. While he was busy getting his accreditation hours (or some such nonsense), my brother and I would be free to explore whatever attractions were available in the host city. Although we traveled to various cities across the U.S., for purposes of this story, my memory returns to a conference held in that veritable bastion of sophistication and cosmopolitan joie de vivre that is Sarasota, Florida. Exactly.
My mother planned several diversions for our week (yes, I said week) long stay in what is basically the armpit of Florida. Of course there would be some time reserved for the beach, but she seemed unusually proud of one particular entertainment and educational opportunity, the Circus Museum. You see, Sarasota was the headquarters of Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey Circus. Yes, that Barnum. P.T. Barnum of “There’s a sucker born every minute” fame (or infamy). We’d have the opportunity to tour the winter headquarters and training facilities as well as learn the circus’ history and see some oddities. There was just one small problem. I don’t like circuses. Never have, never will. I don’t like clowns (and I still don’t, whether they be in circuses or political office), and I don’t believe animals should be caged for our entertainment. Notwithstanding that baggage, I ended-up enjoying the museum. Turns out, circuses and their accompanying oddity shows make similar bargains with their patrons as magicians make. They show you somewhat “normal” people doing extraordinary, sometimes unbelievable, things all in service of The Show.
Our Show has enraptured us for three seasons now. We’ve watched as an erstwhile servant of the club and winner of FA Cup honors returned “home” and transformed us into a parsimonious defense that also featured, at times, an offense that was “guaranteed to blow your head apart.” Our onfield talent supplied us with manifold memories and unforgettable moments, truly extraordinary, sometimes unbelievable events—Martinelli’s break-away goal at Villa; Saliba’s stunning rocket at Bournemouth; Big Gabi’s late winner at Newcastle; Ødegaard’s strike at Brighton; Rice’s free kicks against Madrid; Madueke’s olimpico; Saka’s brilliant hit against United; and Eze’s hat trick against the old enemy. And an anthem organically became our fortresses’ mantra that our blood will forever run through the stone.
Each year, however, as we approached the summit, as we attempted our most difficult trick, our most memorable feat…winning THE title…events conspired to snatch away our glory. Injuries, poor form, hard luck, and bad timing all contrived to spoil our show. Barkers outside the tent shouted up and down the promenade building-up our credentials, calling us all but champions in order to gleefully tear us down. Still do. While inside the tent, hecklers (including many of our own “fans”) attempted to diminish our progress, downplay our potential, and sow discord in minds of players and supporters alike.
It’s been a helluva show, and, yet, we eagerly applied for this season’s ballot. We all got our ticket. The Show is playing out right now. This very minute the light blue, Mancunian petrol halberdiers have cut our lead to two points. I believe they will get no closer. Pundits have headlines cued to celebrate another Arsenal debacle and tragedy. I believe that copy will not be printed this season. I believe we will win the Premier League this season…I have to. A wise woman once said, “the path to paradise begins in hell.”
Speaking of hell…
The Opposition
The Middlesex marsh dwellers have made wonderful jesters and provided dedicated comic relief over the past eighteen months or so. P.T. Barnum would have been proud. Although they managed to win a European trophy last season, they flirted (and still flirt) with relegation. Having sacked Big Ange and Thomas the Frank-engine, the lily whites secured the talents of Igor Tudor a fortnight ago. Ostensibly the Croatian historian will provide the new manager bounce that the Haringey faithful desire. Mr. Tudor will need to cobble together a functioning team from a motley crew of uninjured and unsuspended. At last check, the spuds have at least twelve absences from their senior team including Romero, Porro, Kudus, and Richarlison. According to Orbinho, since November 2024, sp*rs have gained 19 points from a possible 81 points at the Armitage Shanks Arena. If we are to successfully conclude our most anticipated trick in over twenty years, we will need to make that 19 from a possible 84.
Arsenal XI
Arteta has hailed his players’ response to dropping valuable points at Wolves. Rice has said “We need the supporters more than ever.” €115y is breathing down our necks, and we have several injuries and players just now returning to health/searching for form. I think Ødegaard and Calafiori come straight back into the squad. Given, that sp*rs are a wounded animal who have had twelve days of rest, recovery, and preparation, I expect Mikel to start the game somewhat conservatively by leaving reinforcements (like Havertz, Martinelli, Zubimendi, Timber, and Madueke) in reserve. I think Mikel will go with:
Raya
White — Saliba — Gabriel — Calafiori
Ødegaard — Rice
Saka — Eze —Trossard
Gyökeres
Eze simply must be given the chance to reprise his hat trick heroics, but we should have plenty of options to change things from the bench on sixty minutes if needs must. The most essential element for The Show tomorrow (and through the end of May) is mentality. Who will show the aggression, desire, focus, and professionalism to kill this game off by getting the third goal in the first half? Who will step up and say, “Get on my back, boys, and I will lead you to the Promised Land?” Although many of you know my thoughts on that particular question, the answer to which I will not include here, we need several players to answer the call. Regardless, my ticket is in hand. Is yours?
The ‘Holic Pound
I am staking my colors to the mast. I believe we are going to win the League, this season. Starting with a resounding win Sunday against them lot. I expect an energetic first third of the contest, but we will exert our dominance, and sp*rs will fall away as our quality and commitment shines through. I think 1-5 sounds about right.
Try to enjoy the game tomorrow fellow ‘Holics and Gooners. Although I will post the colors in the morning, I’ll be seated near the touchline as my boy attempts to push his goal tally this season to nine for club and school. Welcome to The Show.
Come on you Gunners!
MCMBD
Good show indeed, Lonestar. And good luck to your son on the morrow. No less than your prescription will do. Unless three points offer themselves otherwise. COYG
An enjoyable and intriguing preview Lonestar . And good luck to your son .Even average NLDs are usually momentous because of the emotion wrapped up in the game and the bitter rivalry. Both sides really need to win …for very different reasons .
We are running on fumes and your suggested team selection reflects this. Ben White has good history at the Toilet Bowl of untying Vicario’s gloves prior to a successful corner . Timber is exhausted as is Zubi and your team makes a lot of sense. We need to see much more from Viktor upfront .
I think two players might enliven the run-in for us – Saka and if he is unleashed young, very young Max Dowman . Today will be too really for Dowman but we need the old Bukayo . Signing a mega- contract has been the kiss of death for some of our stars but Bukayo is different. Go win the Derby for us Starboy!
Really = early
There’s a match today?
Cheers Lonestar, splendid work!
3-0 to the good guys.
Fine stuff, Lonestar, fine stuff. Your otherwise excellent focus and optimism is lost only slightly at tge very end.
THMBD, in fact, for one night only,
THWBD
Thanks for an excellent, uplifting preview, Lonestar. I think you are correct in your back four but this fixture is always such a scrap (in which form often goes out the window) that I think MA8 will play both Rice and Zubimendi in midfield which leaves only one place for a creative midfielder (ignoring Zubimendi’s invention and Rice’s driving runs). Your guess is as good as mine for that choice: Ødegaard, Eze, Saka? I will leave that decision to the Ringmaster but would lean towards Saka with Madueke on the right wing. Gyokeres and Trossard make up the rest of the attack. Any kind of win will do me fine but another 1-5 at the Lane would be simply orgasmic.
Cracking preview LG, thanks! I’m with you, let’s stick it to the spuds
early and often.
Nice one Lonestar. I loved it.
I hope like hell we turn up and pummel them, but this is a derby and anything could happen. We need to put in a performance though. If we do that, we’ll win.
COYG
Thanks Lonestar – excellent preview.
I mostly like your team. Timber was well off his game at Wolves and I think re-forming the White / Odegaard / Saka triangle for this one could pay off nicely. Zubimendi should play with Trossard to the bench and Eze on the inside left leaving space for Calafiori to run amok.
3-0 all day long.
James Ellis, our technical director has left the club only a few months after being promoted . That means Edu, Venkatesham , Mertesacker and Ayto have left or are leaving which suggests quite a big change behind the scenes . None of those who have left are yet to cover themselves in glory – ask Forest fans and Spuds!
Berta has brought his own man on as head of recruitment
Fantastic preview. Won’t be matched anywhere else in the Goonerverse and that is absolutely nailed on. I hope to see Odegaard start and Havertz and Norgaard appear as finishers. If Eze is selected, I hope it’s on the left wing with license to roam from there.
I’m in my waterproofs already, and I’m braced amidship for today’s portion of the boat trip. Mikel has wisely adopted a dynamic lifeboat hull for this portion of the voyage anticipating stormy waters and the dangerous needles that threaten all who sail into the marsh soaked wasteland toward the wrong end of Seven Sisters Road.
@10, TTG, It may be time to establish serious Hale End Academy branches in Lagos, Shanghai and Delhi. These three nations represent huge growth potential for the burgeoning TV audience. As Stanley strives to make The Arsenal predominant, spurring interest in each of these nations by introducing a young starlet to mesmerise in red and white would be an excellent stepping stone to greater financial fortune.
Btm
It remains a fact that no Indian footballer has ever made a big mark on international football . Chinese footballers are similarly absent from halls of fame . If Arsenal were to uncover prodigies from these two massive nations the commercial potential woukd be extraordinary . I think Africa has been a hunting- ground for international footballers for many years but Asia has never provided the same number of superstars. The success of Son at the Spuds led to charter flights of Koreans arriving at the Toilet Bowl every fortnight.
Btm- I nominate you to penetrate those two populous nations and bring back the Indian and Chinese versions of Max Dowman . I know you will not fail us .
@13, a great many days of my life have already have gone down in all three of those countries, TTG and (mostly) enjoyable as they were, I’m hesitant to commit to your kind offer. I suspect the issue in all three is the absence of any meaningful grass roots opportunity for young talent. A super greenhouse could only ever be part of the nurturing process followed quickly by scholarships in London for emerging star boys.
That was a read as delightful as it is optimistic, Lonestar. Wonderful setup of your narrative pivot.
I suspect that both sides will underperform your predicted scoreline and that Ollie’s suggestion that we will win 3-0 may prove closer to the mark. But three points anyhoo is the order of the day.
TTG@10: This will be a pivotal summer for our Academy with Per Mertesacker leaving. Its output has been quite remarkable during the BFG’s tenure. Not just has it fed our first-team squad but alums such as Ballard, Sheaf and Brooke-Coffee have established top-level careers elsewhere in greater numbers than one remembers.
Barca and Madrid already run academies in India and China and many other European clubs run overseas schools that serve as recruitment outposts for their academies. Liverpool is probably the most active of those among PL clubs. Many of those schools, I would surmise, are essentially franchises, with a local organisation getting a big club affiliation and branding. City’s global network of clubs provides an alternative model of uncovering promising local talent.
In the United States, many PL clubs, including us, run summer camps across the country. There is a well-established network of youth development teams and tournaments in most of the sports played professionally, soccer included, that feeds into the college system that serves the academy function of major league pro sports.
A fine, optimistic preview Lonestar. I have just walked the mean streets of N17 and am now inside the toilet bowl, a minced beef and onion pie having satisfied the inner man. Odegaard walked out with the rest of the team but, unless I missed him, I didn’t see Kai.
Team news
Great preview LG!
Best wishes to your son.
You got the team almost correct. A Rice-Ødegaard-Eze midfield would have been intriguing, and maybe we will see it someday soon.
Another Eze masterclass today?
Come on Arsenal!
The strongest available team, surprise, surprise.
Throughly enjoy coming on here to read the blog and comments. It’s the best of a fan in panic over our PL title ambitions. Thanks for keeping Dave’s immaculates tradition alive!!
Ooops, missed out the “base” in “fan”. Pardon me
Thanks Lonestar for a great preview – a very positive read. Good luck to Lonestar ll – may his good form continue.
We’ve a good team out – let’s mash those spuds good & proper.
COYRRR
Yeah, it’s a strong side, certainly better than the spuds
CoYGS!!
Arsenal fans serenading Tudor: Sacked in the morning. 😂😂
Lonestar you nearly nailed that prognostication. Four stars.
That was more like it, although it was only Tot’numb. Can Tudor really want the job permanently?
Bugziiee@21: The traditional welcoming drink on the bar for you.
Only Pires (7 in 11 appearances) and Adebayor (6 in 7) have scored more Premier League goals for Arsenal in North London derbies than Eze’s 5 in 2. A rather quick start he has made for himself.
Welcome Bugziiee @21, and Ned, no I don’t think Tudor wants the job permanently but much like Frank and Ange is exercising his strong nose for some quick cash before making a quick and pacy exit stage left.
Well that was effing timely I must say, been a tough week
but North London is very red indeed
Plenty of class and nerve in the second half there, and good
the away support could find time to mock Tudor too
Well that was very nice in the end. I hate this fixture until we are 3 goals ahead so the last half hour was pure delight for me.
That’s five wins in row against the Spudz for the first time since the late 80’s under Gorgeous George. Good work all, but especially from Raya, Gabriel, Rice, Eze (good call Lonestar!), Saka and Gyökeres. And good work from the travelling Gooners.
Welcome bugziiee. Thanks for the compliments. Gratefully received by the GHF team. Another drink of your choice is on the bar. Don’t be a stranger.
Wednesday night against Wolves was a miserable away day. Today was a terrific away day. The ups and downs of the travelling fan!
>>>>>>>