When I put my hand up for this preview a few weeks back, I had no idea what might be up for grabs with a good result against Everton. Since then, things have swung back and forth; we have gone from being way out of the running for a Champion’s League spot, to having it in our hands, to the situation we now find ourselves in, with our hopes hanging by such a fine thread that most of the fanbase either cannot see it, or are pretending it doesn’t exist as a superstitious precaution – even daring to dream that Spurs might Spurs this up could be enough to ensure it never happens!
We finished fifth, move along folks, nothing to see here.
The disappointment of the last two results have somewhat coloured our perspective of this match. I think it is fair to say that, at the start of the season, most of us would have bitten your hand off to be guaranteed fifth and with a Hail Mary shot at fourth as we headed to the last game of the season.
I’ll leave the end of season analysis until we have made it that far but, personally, I have seen a lot of off-field improvement in how things are being done at the club this season, and I think Arteta has been instrumental in that. Coupled with a fifth-place finish, I am pretty happy with our campaign, even though we can all see that there are issues that still need dealing with.
So, for one last time before his holidays, the boss will be sticking to the old adage ‘one game at a time’.
I mean, all we can do is win against Everton and hope for the best. If we don’t take care of our result, then no amount of dodgy lasagne will help us out of this one.
Frankly, it’s a bit of an odd lead up to a game. Everton managed a remarkable turnaround against Crystal Palace a few days ago, coming from two goals down to secure their Premier League status with three goals to win a crucial match. I wish we had done that ten days ago.
For the supporters in blue, the excitement was too much, and they spilled onto the pitch. I understand their elation and I don’t want to get all holier-than-thou condemning football fans for over-the-top reactions – we have all been there – but there have to be some things that are off limits. I have every sympathy with Paddy, who lost his rag and kicked out at one particular fan who was goading him non-stop (I do wonder what he said that caused such a reaction?).
The authorities simply must do better when it comes to preventing fans getting on the pitches, and I wonder how they will resolve the mess it has caused this time out? I cannot see it ending well for our former captain. He will be sanctioned for reacting badly to a situation he should never have been in, by the body that failed to prevent it. Typically farcical stuff.
All of which is really to say that Everton’s race is surely run? They are safe, after months of uncertainty. The pressure is released, they have let off all their steam, and, whilst they won’t want to lose tomorrow, it won’t matter hugely to them if they do lose this one. They have already done what they needed to do.
Unless, of course, it goes the other way. They have a much better group of players than you’d expect to be in a relegation battle. Maybe without the constriction of needing to play well, they might actually do just that?
Honestly, who knows?
The thing is, we are looking similarly inscrutable. We have been so hot and cold in the last few weeks. We aren’t scoring enough goals, and at Newcastle our entire team looked as though they had nothing whatsoever left in the tank. Have we run out of gas just a couple of weeks too soon? Or, will we find the reserves we need for one last big push in front of the fans who have been so magnificent all season?
I certainly hope so. Arteta seemed convinced in his pre-game presser that we would get a result in this one, saying
“We are back in Europe, we don’t know where. Sunday it will be decided. Hopefully, it will be Champions League because on Sunday, I believe we’ll do what we have to do and we’re going to be cheering for Norwich to do what they can do, for sure.”
Of course, Arteta was also pretty sure that we weren’t going to perform at Newcastle like a team playing under the influence of twice as much gravity as the opposition, so his conviction about the result in this one won’t be a comfort to those of a pessimistic disposition.
The Arsenal
Well, we don’t have enough defenders, and the ones we have are mostly crocked. White and Gabriel both looked less than fully fit last time out. Tomi got subbed off. KT is the new Ramsey (Ramsey is conversely trying hard to become the new KT by increasing his standing with Celtic fans by any means available). We will have Rob Holding back, and I assume he will play, even if he is still in most peoples’ bad books for getting suckered into a completely avoidable, and extremely costly, sending off.
The issues that need resolving over the summer absolutely include the prospect of starting Cedric and Tavares as our two full-backs, but that is what I will imagine we will do tomorrow, although hopefully never again. Personally, I think Tavares is young and exciting, even if he is raw, and his bombastic presence would be offset by Tomiyasu on the other flank. So, I’d get rid of Cedric over the young Portuguese, but if we get any offers for them, then it might be the last game for both of these two. Let’s hope it’s a good one.
I also hope it is Xhaka’s last game for us. Since Partey got injured, he has been pretty good, on the whole, and I could not summon any enthusiasm to get exercised about his comments last week. He was pissed off, and there was nothing particularly surprising about the fact that he felt the team had not shown up – that was exactly what the rest of us felt. However, I do not think we will get a CL spot with him in our midfield, and tomorrow there is every chance we will see this proven for yet another season, so I think it is time to move on. Hopefully he spanks in a winner and gets a great reception from the crowd… and then moves to Italy.
Eddie is another who will probably be playing his last game for the club. He has done okay in the last few weeks; he would not be a bad third choice striker. But we need two signings up top, and he wants game time, so I can’t see him staying. It would be nice for him to sign off with a good performance, and, for him, that means goals.
I expect Gabi will play instead of ESR, unless the latter has managed to get out of his sponsorship deal with whichever treacle company currently manufactures his boots.
If Ødegaard wants to be our captain next year, then this would be a good time to heed the words of our Swiss former captain and take this game by the balls. He was anonymous in the last game, and he still needs to improve his physicality to be a consistently effective player in this league.
Ramsdale
Cedric – Holding – White/Gabriel – Tavares
Xhaka – Elneny
Saka – Ødegaard – Gabi
Nketiah
Everton
I don’t care much about them. In their last match they played: Pickford, Coleman, Keane, Holgate, Iwobi, Doucouré, André Gomes, Mykolenko, Gordon, Richarlison and Calvert-Lewin.
Iwobi will get a good reception. DCL is a good player who has had a difficult season after a great campaign last time out. If the money is right, then he might be someone who interests us over the summer. Gordon works hard and has decent quality as well as commitment. Doucouré and Gomes are both solid players at this level. Richarlison is a petulant whinger, but a player capable of hurting any team.
The holics’ pound
It is my honour to bestow the hottest tip in betting, our very own holics’ pound, for the last time this season. It is going on an optimistic 4-0 to The Arsenal which is available at 18s. However, for those of you who wish to take your reminiscences of 1998 just a step further… if you add in Rob Holding to play the Tony Adams role and score the last goal of the game then the odds are 400/1. Which still looks stingy to me.
However, I would not recommend putting more than an actual pound on any bet this time round. Just buy yourself a beer, buy your mates a beer, and for the last time this season, sing a few songs for The Arsenal.
Wherever you are tomorrow, enjoy your day.
Until next year, have a good one ‘holics.
Cheers GSD. Great final preview for the season. Let’s finish on a high, whatever Delia cooks for the neighbours.
The table magnificently laid for the final game of the season, GSD. Regardless of what happens at Carrow Road, I hope we have a romp in the N5 sunshine to send off the fans in good heart. It is the least they deserve for the support they have shown the team. As you say, progress on and off the field. Fifth and Europe League football is heading in the right direction, even if we stumbled at the end. (I will own up that my preseason forecast was for sixth.) Lots of work to be done in the offseason, for sure, as Arteta would say, but for the first time in awhile, we have a clear plan for that.
Mi piace molto, mio amico.
Buono Appetito, abitanti delle paludi!
Heh bath, had to look that up, didn’t know that was the Italian for swamp.🤣
We are back in Europe, we don’t know where.
We do really. The sort of place where the dogs have got so self reliant from living wild, they’ve learned to speak and write.
And no I don’t mean Romford.
I have to say the writing in Dave’s place is really impressive. All of you should be proud of yourselves this season.
Thanks a lot for that, Sancho Panza. That means a lot to us all. We like to think Dave would approve.
Heh Ollie @4. The wonder of Google Translate!
Cheers GSD – jolly fine work indeed !
You’ve managed to penne a nice, amusing pasta preview – I had a proper Chortelini 😏
And to echo Bath @7, thanks Sancho Panza. The writing takes a long time but is a lot of fun too. How Dave ever managed every preview and every match report is beyond me. I do think all our writers have done a fine job, and that has maybe contributed to encouraging some excellent “drinkers” too.
This is a really good, measured preview GSD. I am totally of your mind regarding the club and the team. We have made palpable progress but remain a job half finished. Fifth at worst and money to spend in the summer.
Enjoy the last knockings, wherever you watch the game.
Super preview GSD and well summed up. I’ve written the season review but like a cliffhanging thriller I’ve left the last few lines to be written . But it won’t end well
My assessment is the Spuds will have an early wobble ,go a goal down , Harry Kane will panic and commit a reckless tackle but he is England’s captain and he has had a bad tummy so he will not even get a yellow. They will then be given a dubious penalty which Harry will score and OGs will cement their place as third top in the goalscoring charts at WHL . 2-1 to the Bad Guys
We will race to a 3-0 lead with Eddie notching a brace and end up holding on to win 3-2 .
Lap of honour, toddlers on the pitch and Xhaka is given a well deserved extended contract…….with Roma !
Enjoy the game Holics and thanks for your kind words Sancho
What Sancho said.
It’s good to have a few different writers, each with their own style, and all enjoyable, fair but with the right amount of ‘supporter bias’ and with a sense of Arsenal history.
Well done all for managing to organise the previews/reports plus extra blogs sometimes.
SP@6 & Ollie@12: Appreciate the kind words. A h/t to t’editorial committee for organising it all and fixing all the typos. As Trev indicates, even writing a few pieces a season makes one marvel not only at the quantity of the Guv’nor’s output, game in, game out, but at the consistently high quality of it, too.
Thomas Partey was in full training today
Masterful preview large dinosaur man, with all angles covered. And there are a lot of those to be covered in this game. Good shout on the beer, too. There’s one on the bar for you GSD. And I’d say this even if I didn’t think it would make any difference: COYG!!!!!!
Spot on with your comment above, SP. All the GHF writers rock in their own special way.
I think it has a lot to do with trying to live up to the legacy of Dave Faber the Goonerholic himself.
Great preview thanks GSD. Agree with you on almost every word. My Arsenal cup is about 3/4 full at the moment, we’ve done a lot of good things this season with work to do in the summer. On Xhaka, no idea what people expect him to say after a performance like that in an important game. The issue has never been that he doesn’t care, just that he isn’t a good enough player.
Fat Frank waffled that Everton will take the game seriously blah blah but also said he will give some squad players a start. 3-1 to The Arsenal.
It’s the last week of the prestigious Holics Ropey League too of course…..
A wacky race this season with several different leaders has seen the one
and only bt8 finally emerge as the man with biggest time bottle 👏👏👏
The fat lady hasn’t sung but barring a slip over a low bar after too much red
hot chili I do believe the honor is yours sir🎩
Cheers Matt, but I do believe Low Bar are still in with a real shout. Bottlers would voluntarily bottle it if it meant Sp&&s would magically do the same.
Nice piece of writing, GSD. End of a long and challenging season but one which, for me, has shown considerable signs of progress. I remember writing the match report after the Citeh game in August/September. If you had offered 5th/4th to the drinkers of this bar then, you would have had your arm ripped off in the rush. I think this is echoed inside the ground, home and away, by a new found feeling of optimism.
Talking of which, I and 21CG will be renewing acquaintance with C100 today at an Islington hostelry pre match, Not seen him since Wolves(a) back when it was cold and dark. What’s not to like.
Here’s to a fine send off for the lads, a few drinks in the sun and the hope that the bechâmel on the LWC’s lasagne has curdled sufficiently to see them Sp*rs it right up.
COYG
And the journey starts now. COYG!
Enjoy your day back at TNHOF, Ollie. I hope it’s a truly memorable one.
Have a good pre-match repast CER, 21C & C100.
COYG
Cheers bath. Hope to catch up with you next season. Long overdue.
Cheers all!
I will definitely echo Sancho P, Ollie and the rest in saying how well it has worked out to have a group of writers, all bringing their own voices, yet all with a broadly similar outlook that gives the blog a clear identity.
I’m another with no idea how Dave wrote all of the pieces himself but I’m sure he’d be chuffed we are keeping up in our own way!
Have a great day everyone travelling to the ground!
Another great preview GSD – right on the money as normal.
Hope the team put’s on a super show this afternoon to honour those superb supporters who have followed them throughout the ups & downs of this season. I’m not expecting Spu*s to spursy it this afternoon but I’ll wear something extra strong around the midriff to stop my sides splitting from the ginormous hilarity just in case it should happen.
I would like to echo in congratulating all you wonderful contributors to the blog – you set a great standard of attitude and prose throughout the season.
COYRRR
UTA
Hopefully Delia will be on the gin for all the right reasons later.
Picturing the trotting Totts’ pregame repast.
https://www.pngkit.com/png/detail/315-3152427_touching-yourself-while-thinking-about-lasagna-show-me.png
GSD@25: Well put.
According to Calciomercato, we’ve had a 90 million euro bid for Victor Osimhen turned down by Napoli, who seem to be pricing him with an intent to keep him for one more season. They want 110 million euros for a player with a market value of around 70 million euros.
Ned, I mentioned him a while ago after a heads up from a huge Napoli fan. He supposedly has a release clause of €100m so demanding 110m seems a bit cheeky. I wonder if anyone has considered a cheeky bid of 90,000,001 ?
Trev@32: Osimhen would tick many boxes, 23-years old, seemingly well suited to the Premiership and just the right history of injury to satisfy the quacks at Colney.
Ramsdale
Cedric, Holding, Gabriel, Tavares
Elneny, Xhaka
Saka, Odegaard (c), Martinelli,
Nketiah
Bench: Leno, White, Swanson, Lokonga, Patino, Oulad M’Hand, Pepe, Smith Rowe, Lacazette
Cheers GSD!
UP THE ARSE!
well done, Dino. clever and fun. we can only hope.
COYG!
Penalty surely?
Yeah, 1-0 Gabi, good penalty despite Begovic’s efforts to delay as long as possible
2-0 double quick, rapid reaction header from Eddie.
Sadly Norwich surrendering as tamely as Everton
4-1 now, with goals from Cedric and Gabriel. Hopefully, my fellow Holics are enjoying a fine day out even without a final tweet of defiance from the useless canaries
Laca on and almost scores, be nice if he could get one on his final appearance.
Davies booked, Alli hooked, one for a shameful dive and the other from a shameful dive
Why couldn’t Newcastle have gone to the same beach as Everton.
Anyway, on a happier note Burnley are in big trouble
Shitty turned that round quick. Made the Everton fans very happy anyway.
5-1, Odegaard
Fifth and dusted. At least there was a final goal-fest for our home fans to feast on.
They think it’s all over. It was, at Newcastle. A fine win – when the pressure is off. We need to buy a few assertive players with big balls and massive desire.
Sadly true, bath. Bit of a flat feeling now.
My feelings exactly Bath
Congratulations which I believe are not premature to Bt8 on winning the Holics Europey League ! Very well done mate and congratulations too to my fellow competitors , many of whom have finished well above me .
I have sacked myself as coach of ‘ Game of Throw ins ‘ and am going to replace me with a hologram . More personality and much better looking .
We need to buy a few assertive players with big balls and massive desire.
We have needed those for over a decade, but they don’t exist where we do our shopping.
There’s a long post to be made about being trapped in a state where the club’s culture (the hated Arsenal DNA) means we are not developing players with that sort of character and we can’t buy them, but I’m not in the mood. Thankfully 😉
I meant to say the hated phrase Arsenal DNA, which is meaningless junk.
Congratulations to Olivier Giroud on all his important goals this season and for being an Italian league Champion.
Six points dropped against Citeh and ‘Pool — not unexpected
Five points dropped against Brighton and Palace — cost us big time
Well played Arsenal on the season’s final day, and congratulations to Citeh the champions again. Good on them.
Re: TTG @48. If the scores are indeed confirmed, my finishing top of the Europa League proves merely one thing, namely that it was good to pick De Bruyne as triple captain in the week he happened to score 4 goals and garner 84 points single-handedly, but congratulations to everyone on a season well played and tightly contested. The race was a real roller coaster right up to the end.
What do we make of Arteta’s comment when asked about Laca, Elneny and Eddie that their futures had been “decided” but it was “very difficult to communicate”, adding, “To do it earlier one way or other with three situations is very awkward and it could affect the team. We will try to do the right thing.”
All three leaving with the expiration of their contracts?
I thought we’d actually offered Mo an extension? Or was that just newspaper talk?
Anyway, I guess « one way or other » means differing decisions on stay / leave and no announcement out of respect for those leaving.
Might have been the final game for several on the pitch yesterday as well as those three.
Cedric, Nuno, Xhaka, Pepe are the ones most likely I suppose
I believe Elneny signed tye extension yesterday. I suspect we may lose the other two but Eddie will be offered a new deal I suspect
*boilk*
No lasagne miracle, but that was expected. At least we did our bit yesterday.
And I bumped into our very own Steve T.
Cedric, Nuno, Xhaka, Pepe are the ones most likely I suppose
Three of those I’d be delighted to see gone, one I wouldn’t break my heart over but he’d have to be replaced with a high quality player, not somebody with potential. Potential only means they could be shit or good and we’ll find out if it’s he latter when it’s too late.
THE latter. Sticky Mac keyboards are for c**ts.
Hence, I have one. 🙂
>>>>>>>