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There is a scene in You Only Live Twice where Blofeld interrogates two of his subordinates who have failed to kill Bond. He sends them away in displeasure, yet after the first chap has crossed a suitably evil lair décor 101 looking bridge, Blofeld depresses a lever with his foot and the bridge falls away, sending the red-haired woman (Helga Brant is the character name – thanks Google!) into a pool beneath. She surfaces and screams, before being submerged in a frenzy of bubbles as she is eaten by piranhas. The camera pans to the horrified look on the face of the chap who has just escaped death by a whisker.

I imagine this was something like Scott Parker felt in the first half an hour as his Bournemouth side were torn to shreds by a rampant Arsenal. I don’t know what colours piranhas actually are, but I assume they are salmon pink – either due to natural selection or because they feel such a strong kinship to Jesus, Martinelli et al that they have all bought replica Arsenal away kits.

We began nibbling away from the first whistle but tore our first chunk out of them after a mere five minutes. Ben White played a brilliant, lofted ball forwards (what do you mean it was a loose punt upfield?!) which Jesus took out of the sky under pressure with a touch God would have been impressed by before showing incredible skill, strength and pace to beat two men, drive forwards and slip a delicious ball through for Gabigol. His shot was saved but Ødegaard was in the right place to knock it in. What a start.

We scored again five minutes later, our captain feasting on easy prey. It’s a pity we can’t play a Harry Redknapp side in this form. We’d show him what ‘down to the bare bones’ really means. Anyway, this time Ben White overlapped, Saka played him in, and his pullback was cushioned perfectly for Martin Ødegaard (what do you mean he was trying to control it for himself?!) who absolutely walloped it into the far corner. There was a VAR check off White’s position, which I have to say I thought was going to go badly for us after a look with my naked eyes, but the arbitrary lines went in our favour this time.

The rest of the half was a solid display with some dangerous looks that did not quite materialise into good chances. We played well and held them at arms length. They couldn’t lay a glove on us and we looked untroubled all the way.

Bournemouth perked up a bit in the second half, starting better but not causing us concern.

Then, we swung a long corner to this new chap we’ve signed to make runs into the box and get the goals and assists we need to go to the next level. It is unusual that we have given him Granit Xhaka’s number 34, and even more so that we haven’t even changed the name on the shirt, but I’ve been watching Xhaka play for years, and I’ve got no idea who this bloke is. He layed off a wonderful, weighted pass to invite a shot from, of all people, William Saliba. However, the young Frenchman has cunningly turned down all Thomas Partey’s invitations to join him for shooting practice, and stroked it into the top corner with his left foot. Absolute banger.

Bournemouth sent some crosses in. Keifer Moore did moore with them than he could be expected to but we kept the clean sheet. See what I did there?

We could well have added to our goal difference. The arbitrary VAR lines ruled out a Jesus effort dinked over the keeper. Pity. He had another decent chance that was saved. ESR and Eddie came on and both had chances that failed to get past the goalie. Lokonga and Tomiyasu got on, as did Tierney, ahead of Zinchenko in an interesting positional choice that we may see more of through the season.

We ran out 3-0 winners. A thoroughly deserved result.

A word for the away fans, who had a marvellous day out. They were raucous and did not stop singing. Even on the TV you could hear them pulling out the full repertoire for those on the pitch, as well as a few old favourites. “You’re going down with United” was good work. I was more surprised to hear a chant for Xhaka than for Rocky, but glad of both. Saliba was serenaded all day, including at the end when the team went over to applaud their rapturous support. He was coy at first, but was soon wreathed in smiles. He looked very happy. Good.

The entire team were brilliant. The Xhaka-Zinchenko thing is just excellent. Saka had a good game and yet was our least effective attacking player. Partey was like an octopus in the middle, pulling the ball in from all angles. Saliba gets a special mention for the goal and generally being the sort of invincible-seeming henchman Bond would have to kill with a seriously elaborate death (perhaps one of the floodlights crushing him?) Jesus got MOTM from Smudger but Gabigol and the skipper would have been good choices too.

Now, I have watched All Or Nothing, and it appears that Arteta has a dog. I think this is the wrong animal for him. Can someone get the Gaffer a fluffy white cat to stroke menacingly as he stares furiously at his team for failing to win by seventy-four clear goals?

Afterwards the Sky Sports gimp asked him how close that was to perfect. As expected, he barely drew breath before asserting “Still far,” and proceeded to lay out a variety of ways we could have been better.

Honestly, I think he is aiming to win the Prem and Champions League only as practice for World Domination.

So, we have three wins from three. We are doing as well as we could be at this point. Let’s not go overboard, there is a long way to go. But, as Dave would remind us, it’s good to enjoy the good days!

As a final note, we wore black armbands for Steve Braddock, by all accounts a tremendous man as well as the finest groundskeeper in the country, if not the world, and I think everyone at the club did him proud today. This one was for you Steve, thanks for the carpet, and RIP.

Have a good one ‘holics.

142 Drinks to “This Organisation Does Not Tolerate Failure”

  1. 1
    bt8 says:

    Thank you big dinosaur, that was awesome 😎😅

  2. 2
    North Bank Ned says:

    Excellent, GSD, funny, well measured and in double quick time. You do Dave’s memory proud.

  3. 3
    North Bank Ned says:

    A draw in Sunday’s Gulf derby (Saudi Arabia Toon v Abu Dhabi Citeh) wouldn’t be a bad result for us.

  4. 4
    TTG says:

    GSD
    Terrific report , thanks for your insights which are as always excellent .
    Before I comment I have seen Piranhas and they are silver. I’ve also seen a film where they munch a naked Kelly Brook but I will stop there as I don’t want to overheat Scruz at his blacksmithing conference.
    We were in a completely different league to Bournemouth. On today’s performance we could have got six or seven . VAR deprived us of one and granted another one that , as you say looked unlikely. Whatever they say they are using slide rules to determine goals and it is taking a long time .
    I had no negatives today. Everybody played well and although the highlight was Saliba’s banger, there were some wonderful moments from Jesus , Zinchenko and Odegaard. I’m off to the game next week, in Club Level with my brother-in-law who supports Fulham. He tells me he is worried they will wear their hideous green strip. I’ve warned him that he has bigger stuff to worry about than that .

  5. 5
    Trev says:

    Cheers GSD, excellent stuff – Doug and Dinsdale would be proud !

    Amazing how things can turn out. For three years people have been asking what’s going on with Saliba; obviously the manager doesn’t fancy him; doesn’t look like we’ll ever see him play; £25 million on a teenager who’s never going to play for us; and then today ….
    Twenty-one year old Saliba has made himself first choice after three games and received one of the most prolonged rounds of chanting from the crowd I have ever heard.

  6. 6
    bt8 says:

    We now own a record of 100% clean sheets on our travels. The hoteliers are going to love us.

  7. 7
    Countryman100 says:

    Morning GSD. A top report for a bright and breezy match, where we just blew Bournemouth away. Great goals, strong defending and full of great football. I am manfully trying to contain my optimism, but it’s hard. That crowd! New songs, happy players, top of the league. Bring on Fulham next Saturday.

  8. 8
    OsakaMatt says:

    Great report, thanks GSD.
    Wot C100 said above basically.
    Though I am not trying to contain my optimism😉

  9. 9
    Bathgooner says:

    A characteristically excellent and entertaining match report, GSD, of a superb performance and comprehensive victory. Every man on the pitch stood tall and it was good to see ESR, Eddie, Tomi san, Sambi and KT3 get to stretch their legs albeit briefly. The songsmiths have been busy and those are fine new songs for Saliba and Xhaka but where’s a song for Jesus?

  10. 10
    Countryman100 says:

  11. 11
    Bathgooner says:

    Epic!

  12. 12
    Countryman100 says:

    The song for Jesus, Bath, at least so far is a retread of Hey Jude, except with Jesus at the rather than Giroud. I have seen others but so far they’re a bit wordy to remember easily.
    To the tune of my old man’s a dustman
    Oh Mik Arteta called him
    Said now’s your time to shine
    Cos I’m collecting Gabi’s
    And I’m going to make you mine
    They say he walks on water
    Then turns it into wine
    Oh I believe in Jesus
    The Arsenal number 9!

  13. 13
    Countryman100 says:

  14. 14
    Bathgooner says:

    C100 @12, I hope that catches on. Lonnie Donnegan would be proud.

  15. 15
    ClockEndRider says:

    Love that C100, heard it on the way to The Tavern after last week’s game. I think it had been sung by the hordes in the Supporters Club house on Gillespie Road

  16. 16
    North Bank Ned says:

    One of the good mornings after. We’ve beaten what’s in front of us and are getting into the rhythm for the sterner tests ahead.

    Re-reading your match report, GSD, it is just as good as the first time round.

  17. 17
    Lonestar Gooner says:

    Well done, GSD!

    SALIBA!!!

  18. 18
    ClockEndRider says:

    And Dino, superb report. Thanks very much.

  19. 19
    Trev says:

    C100 @12. – wordy or not that is excellent and deserves to catch on 👏🏻🤞🏻

  20. 20
    Up4GrabsNow! says:

    Saliba attempted and completed 76 passes, a 100% success rate. Just wow!
    And Zinchenko’s reaction to his Big Willie’s goal was hilarious.

  21. 21
    Countryman100 says:

    Baologun scored yesterday for Reims. That’s his third goal in his first three games.

  22. 22
    scruzgooner says:

    a fine report, gsd. i only had time to watch the first 15, and it was as you say, and wonderful football.

    i appreciate the mention of steve braddock. i’ve always been fascinated with how arsenal’s pitch was kept up; he designed some of the most advanced methods for that, and it shows. our pitch is always immaculate and beautiful.

    ttg, you are kind with your concern @4, thanks :).

    saliba!

  23. 23
    OsakaMatt says:

    Chelsea dropping points would be handy, 2-0
    down at half time.

  24. 24
    Countryman100 says:

    Make that three Matt!

  25. 25
    Countryman100 says:

    But Leeds look excellent. We play them at Ellend Road mid October.

  26. 26
    Bathgooner says:

    We need to be prepared for Leeds’ onslaught and their physical challenges and be ready to match their workrate or we’ll get nothing from there this season..

  27. 27
    OsakaMatt says:

    Leeds were a pushover last season but Marsch seems to have got the intensity back.
    Agree they were very good today, Chelsea missing Kanté and anyone in attack who
    is up for the fight

  28. 28
    TTG says:

    Zaha’s form this season underlines just how well Ben White played him at Selhurst .Zaha is a real menace and very hard to subdue to the extent that Ben did

  29. 29
    North Bank Ned says:

    C100@25 and bath@26: We will have to match Leeds for fight and team spirit and trump them with superior quality.

    TTG@28: Spot on about Ben White.

    I am a bit surprised that West Ham has got off the start it has. Their squad looks better than last season.

  30. 30
    OsakaMatt says:

    Now it’s Newcastle’s turn – deservedly leading Shitti 3-1 at the moment.

  31. 31
    OsakaMatt says:

    Oh, make that 3-2. It’s been a cracking game so far.
    One of those could be 6 all games.

  32. 32
    Gunnersaurus Stunt Double says:

    Every other club has dropped points.

    We are top of the league!

  33. 33
    North Bank Ned says:

    Not a bad result for us at all as it leaves us two points clear at the top of the league after three games.

  34. 34
    ecg says:

    Complete opposite of last year!! But also goes to show how competitive the league is this year. There won’t be any easy matches.

  35. 35
    Bathgooner says:

    WATOTL,
    S,
    WATOTL!

    COYG!

  36. 36
    Las says:

    Thanks GSD, brilliant piece of writing. (what do you mean it’s a report?)
    🙂 brilliant
    And we are the top of the league!
    Salibaaa!
    COYG

  37. 37
    bt8 says:

    The Saliba song seems to inspire dancing among some of us. No names of course.

  38. 38
    bt8 says:

    Those who are not fans of Wayne Rooney might enjoy this score from MLS:

    (Rooney-managed) D.C. United 0 Philadelphia 6

    Something about that feels good to an impartial like me. 🤫

  39. 39
    Cent says:

    GSD, I was having one of those moments, more like hours to be honest, when nothing seems enjoyable, your excellent report reminded me that less than 48 hours ago, I was feeling estatic and on top of the world because of how well our boys demolished the Cherries. Your report reminded me that good and bad feelings, no matter how strongly they seem in the moment, come and go in due time. Thank you.

  40. 40
    OsakaMatt says:

    Happy Monday my fellow 100% gooners, it was much tougher at the bottom last season,
    but the situation looks better now, 100% better. A neat symmetry would be to finish the season with 100 points and a 100 goals. Best get back on the bridle now.

  41. 41
    Countryman100 says:

    For those of a financial turn of mind, a superb thread by the excellent @SwissRamble on AFC finances.

  42. 42
    Countryman100 says:

    Do read the whole thread, but this tweet, I think summarises well one side of the discussion we were having in here two weeks back about “giving away” players.

  43. 43
    Doctor Faustus says:

    Excellent report GSD! Trademark humor included.

    It’s just the beginning. And we plan to get better, and better. 🙂

  44. 44
    Bathgooner says:

    Thanks for that link C100 @41. Very interesting. It suggests that football ‘business’ lends itself to smoke and mirrors and creative accountancy.

    It’s also clear that we are working with fine margins and cannot make any more expensive mistakes in signing any more expensive flops or extending the contracts of ageing ‘stars’. Hence I am delighted that MA8 stated that we will only make further signings this window if the right player becomes available. The decisions of yesteryear always have disproportionate impacts on today’s options.

  45. 45
    Countryman100 says:

    Bath@44. I’m not sure the term creative accountancy is fair. It’s just accountancy, for which there are rules, e.g. you amortise the cost of a player over the terms of the contract. It is the same rules that every business lives by. Creative accountancy comes when, e.g. you inflate the value of assets, as Barcelona have recently done. Avoiding creative accountancy is what auditors do when they sign off on a fair and true account.

  46. 46
    Gunnersaurus Stunt Double says:

    Thanks for the kind words everyone – there was some high praise in there for which I’m very grateful. I’m glad you all enjoyed it!

  47. 47
    North Bank Ned says:

    C100@41: Thanks for the link. To respond to bath, in Swiss Ramble’s own words, Some might think this is a form of cheating, but it’s just accounting.

    My quick takeaways from Swiss Ramble’s analysis are:
    The club has restructured its finances deftly under challenging circumstances to support the ambition to return to being a regular CL/top four team.
    The views of those in this bar that reducing the wage bill was more important than transfer fees realised for those moved on are vindicated.
    The squad is pretty much fixed for the next couple of seasons as there is not much accounting headroom left now for big-money purchases. I would be okay with that once we get in cover/competition for Partey, the lack of which is our Achilles Heel in my view; and
    The club needs to secure more commercial revenue. That is where there is most scope to ease the FFP limitations. The stadium naming rights and shirt deals to be renewed in 2024 seem both an opportunity and risk in this regard.

  48. 48
    Bayonne Jean says:

    Folks, been too long a time away. Have been held back by repaired hips, knees, and heart, and their therapies, but came back to this warm welcoming place.

    On a song for new #9, could see an easy, less wordy adapting of Queen’s Radio Ga Ga,
    with very slight modification:
    “You have the time, you have the power,
    “You’ve yet to have your finest hour,
    “Gabriel…( softly) Gabriel…
    “All we hear is… Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    “All we hear is… Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    Gabriel Jesus! (clap clap)!
    Gabriel, what’s new?
    Gabriel, we…all…still…love…you!”
    Could go with only “All we hear is Gabriel Jesus clap clap.”
    Recreate Freddie at LiveAid at the Emirates.
    Scans perfectly with Mikel Arteta as well

  49. 49
    Countryman100 says:

    Nice one BJ!

  50. 50
    OsakaMatt says:

    It’s nice to see you back Bayonne Jean, a drink of your choice is on the bar for you sir.
    And I’d love to hear that song!

  51. 51
    Countryman100 says:

    Ned @47. Borrowing from Arseblog, if the Arsenal commercial guys are not sorting out a mega deal with a tequila manufacturer right now, they’re sleeping on the job.

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Bathgooner says:

    C100 @45, I wasn’t suggesting that those Arsenal accounts as described by SwissRamble show creative accountancy. Far from it. If that was the impression given, I did not intend that. These seem to be very well managed resources (for a change).

    However the way some football clubs have been funded over the last twenty years and the somewhat questionable transfers involving a certain club at the bus stop in Fulham would make a saint suspicious that there was something iffy going on.

  54. 54
    Bathgooner says:

    Welcome back Bayonne Jean. Good to see you again. I hope your health problems are permanently behind you.

    C100 @51, that is indeed a serious blemish on those accounts. Hopefully someone is dealing with that challenge with the focus and ruthlessness that MA8 and Edu have had on the squad.

  55. 55
    Countryman100 says:

    Thanks Bath. An excellent article and Carney of course was a long term very successful part of the Arsenal Ladies team, so knows the club well.

  56. 56
    TTG says:

    I am grateful to C100 for attaching the Swiss Ramble report .
    It makes interesting reading and the impact of FFP is much more complex than I had realised . We’ve debated the subject of sales to death and I won’t continue it here . My only observation is that football is an extraordinary business when you can trade as in effectively as we did for a couple of years and still emerge in reasonable financial shape .
    While there is an implication in All or Nothing that the club was in a state of real decline over the last ten years ,and many fans will lay the blame for that at Wenger’s door , it should be noted from Swiss Ramble that what we have been doing is eating into the reserves he built up, partly because of Covid and partly because of bad player trading . This current transfer market provides a very clear illustration that if you have sought after assets you can charge the Earth for them but heaven help you if you have a load of dross.
    If we fail to increase our revenue through success on the field and CL qualification we are very likely to have to sell the likes of Saliba, Saka , Tierney or ESR . In other words after the decision to move to the new stadium which saw us sell the likes of Fabregas, Henry, Nasri , RVP , Song etc, etc we are facing big challenges to hold on to our players unless we are successful. ‘Twas ever thus but we don’t have the cushions provided by increased commercial income and sponsorship that other top 6 clubs have ( let alone owners willing to dig into very deep pockets ).So we have to buy well going forward and we can’t continue to sell future big purchases for peanuts . It’s been a necessary expedient to buttress a new strategy but it’s not sustainable long term.
    Once ‘ the dross ‘ has gone we can’t afford to accumulate any more

  57. 57
    Bathgooner says:

    Exactly, TTG @56, we cannot afford any more expensive mistakes when signing new players. We have taken the financial pain of getting rid of those who wouldn’t or couldn’t meet Arteta’s standards though SwissRamble’s Twitter thread does show some, for me, obscure financial benefits of shedding those individuals even for very little or for free. We have one further individual, Pépé, to offload and then we must ensure that we make no further expensive mistakes in signings and salaries.

    Without doubt, every single signing will not turn out as well as we hope but we can sign players who won’t be as difficult to offload than those we have signed in the mid to late teens. Arteta inherited a dressing room full of dead wood and he and Edu have worked wonders to transform it thus far. More power to their elbows.

  58. 58
    Countryman100 says:

    As Manchester United sign a 30 year old DM in Casemiro on a five year contract at £20m per year, what would they have given for an Edu/Arteta like clearing of the decks?

    Also what do the drinkers in the bar make of Auba going to the Bridge?

  59. 59
    Bathgooner says:

    I don’t think the powers that be at Manure have yet recognised that that is their essential next step. Much like the alcoholic who needs to wake up in the gutter to recognise he has a problem, they are not there yet. Perhaps a serious flirtation with the drop and a few more drubbings by their former rivals and their new rivals will be necessary for the penny to drop. Cashemoro is another piece of sticking plaster.

    Auba is history. I don’t care where he goes. I can see him scoring goals wherever he goes but I can’t see him necessarily fitting the Chav system. However Barca are keen to shed his contract and so Edu’s concern that he needed to get more than a simple 6-month loan was justified. We would have been back to square one with a disaffected presence in and around the dressing room if Edu and Garlick hadn’t pulled off that deal with Barca.

  60. 60
    Countryman100 says:

    Watch out for a gold Ferrari on Muswell Hill Broadway 90 minutes before kick off at the Bridge.

  61. 61
  62. 62
    TTG says:

    Sometimes you see a player in a different light and can never think of them the same way again .When Auba had that disastrous game against Watford last season it dawned on me that in our system in the Premier League He was a busted flush , a largely spent force .
    He scored plenty in an inferior league but after a Possibly bright start his age will increasingly undermine his style of play .
    Looking at strikers in the Fantasy League , there just aren’t many good ones around . Teams build and play differently and Chelsea will need to adapt to Auba because he won’t adapt to them . So like Bath I’m not too concerned about Auba and to me it illustrates how scattergun Chelsea’s approach is .
    This window has illustrated that while the PL is a financial powerhouse it is so much richer and more powerful than the other leagues and they won’t be able to pick up PL cast-offs as purchases. Virtually every transfer will be a loan. This will eventually make the bigger foreign clubs deeply concerned and the Super League in some form will rear it’s ugly head again .The Premier League is effectively a super league but an influx of American owners will inevitably lead to more interest in safeguarding their investment . Expect Part 2 of this saga to appear in the next couple of seasons

  63. 63
    North Bank Ned says:

    C100@60: Auba must have turned a new leaf if he is leaving that much time to get to games…

  64. 64
    North Bank Ned says:

    Good to see some old faces in Cent and Bayonne Jean back in. A drink on the bar for you both. I hope recent troubles are firmly behind you.

  65. 65
    North Bank Ned says:

    TTG@62: Your final point is well made. We are seeing the private equityisation (if that is a word) of the game with the increasing US involvement in the ownership of not just clubs but competitions and media rights.

  66. 66
    TTG says:

    The Times suggests we are on an FFP watchlist but that as Swiss Ramble says we should be compliant . This would explain the haste to get players off the wage bill even if no transfer fees are received and is a reason why we have been seemingly unconcerned about getting significant transfer fees .
    This suggests that FFP is biting and set alongside the disparity in financial firepower I cited in an earlier post has revolutionised the transfer market. Players are sheep and goats. The sheep are in demand players who you can sell for astronomical figures but probably want to keep . The goats are players you want/ need to unload but they have little transfer value and the buying club has you by the short and curlies . Heaven help you if you make too many silly and desperate moves- a big issue for United and Chelsea.
    It also explains our strategy of buying young players with high sell-on values but of course we will find this market increasingly competitive. It is all down to scouting quality and the way ‘the project’ can be sold .
    I suspect the feeder club idea is one we will look to embrace and it could be argued with Colorado Rapids we may have one .

  67. 67
    bathgooner says:

    CENT! Cent @39! Long time no see! Good to see you buddy. Hope all is well with you. Your favourite tipple is on the bar. Come back in and get it!

  68. 68
    bathgooner says:

    TTG @62 & @66, excellent observations, sir.

  69. 69
    Countryman100 says:

    The idea that, in a league where one team is owned by the UAE, and another by Saudi Arabia, it is Arsenal that are guilty of breaching FFP is, frankly, surreal.

  70. 70
    bathgooner says:

    C100 @69, perhaps we haven’t greased the right wheels as is customary in some places?

  71. 71
    Countryman100 says:

    One wonders where the leak came from, and what was the motivation.

  72. 72
    bathgooner says:

    An interesting and worrying analysis of the increasingly self-renewing financial inequities in the game that will probably lead to every league being as uncompetitive as the Bundesliga. It’s clearly going to be even more important to be inside that tent, pissing out! (£):

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2022/08/21/greater-european-riches-will-increase-divisions-premier-league/

  73. 73
  74. 74
    North Bank Ned says:

    bath@72: Thanks for the link. That is the way the game is going. The market anomaly is that, unlike most leagues, the PL has more than four contenders for its four CL slots. As you say, essential to be inside the tent.

  75. 75
    bt8 says:

    Didn’t see the paywalled Telegraph article but to me one of the more inequitable elements of the UEFA competitions is that only two English clubs are allowed into the Europa League. If equity is a concern that might be considered.

  76. 76
    bt8 says:

    Understanding that the Europa League should have representation from a wide variety of European countries so as not to allow any one country to dominate, as Premier League clubs might be able to do. I still don’t get why four teams get into Champions League but fewer get into Europa League.

  77. 77
    TTG says:

    Bath,
    Thanks for the link.I both agree with C100’s observation about the absurdity of us infringing FFP when the ill-gotten gains of a deeply corrupt regime have been used to finance Chelsea for many years and nation states with highly dubious human rights records have pumped ( or will pump ) in more than Abramovich.
    I have been pondering what the heck Barca are doing .They are inexorably on the path to financial oblivion unless something big changes …..and that has to be some sort of Super League or Catalan independence with the new state financing a vanity project as a PR exercise ( the last remark is flippant before the literalists jump on me ) . The fuse is lit and burning down on Barca so it will have to happen fairly soon . Were it Lille or Schalke who were overtrading they’d be allowed to go to the wall but Barca are one of UEFA’s glittering brands and won’t be allowed to collapse .
    And there is a Brexit angle . Europe will not want a situation where all the best and richest clubs are English and that is the way it is likely to head without intervention.So there may even be political manoeuvring to set this up . Where will we as a club stand if the project reappears in a different form?

  78. 78
    Pangloss says:

    TTG@77 A superbly crafted drink. One for the archives. Congratulations.

  79. 79
    TTG says:

    Pangloss.
    Your generous comments are much appreciated .Thankyou

  80. 80
    bathgooner says:

    Fulham will be extra focused against us on Saturday. They have just been knocked out of the EFL cup 2-0 by fourth tier Crawley Town. Albeit they made 10 changes from the team that beat Brentford in the west London derby at the weekend, they will be determined to salvage their reputation and honour with their own but of ‘giant killing’.

  81. 81
    bt8 says:

    Fulham be damned. And then scored upon multiple times by Arsenal without response.

    For all those who have been wondering what the three letter country abbreviations mean on this page https://www.uefa.com/uefachampionsleague/clubs/

    I think most of them can be worked out given sufficient focus and concentration but there’s one that has still eluded a definitive identification: The country abbreviated as FRO which boasts the club called KÍ. Lacking absolute certainty at the moment I have concluded that FRO must be the French overseas territory known in the ultramer community as Fromage. You might expect, with a name like that, that they could enjoy a nice glass of vin rouge with their football now and again.

  82. 82
    scruzgooner says:

    baff, you just wrote my preview, thanks 🙂 i suppose cynic will be happy with its brevity.

  83. 83
    scruzgooner says:

    bt8@81, that’s klaksvíkar ítróttarfelag, of the faeroe islands, their most successful club. just a little google-fû for you.

  84. 84
    North Bank Ned says:

    TTG@77: Ponder ye not, as Frankie Howerd used to say. Barca’s summer spending spree has been financed by mortgaging its future. It has sold long-term broadcasting rights and a stake in its audiovisual studio, and bought Lewandowski, Raphinha and Kounde.

    Sixth Street, a US investment group that invests in iconic sports and entertainment brands, has bought 25% of Barca’s La Liga TV rights for the next 25 years for an estimated 500 million euros, which, conveniently, covers what the club lost in its last financial year.

    Socios.com — recognise the name? — has paid 100 million euros for a 25% stake in Barca’s audiovisual studio. If you are still struggling to remember what Socios is, it is a crypto assets firm that calls itself a digital fan token firm and numbers Arsenal among the partners for which it deepens fam engagement/suckers them into crypto..

    So, losses covered, a few high earners shifted off the books, and a sizeable chunk of change left over from the asset sales, and presto, the club has the money to splash 150 million euros and counting this transfer window. However, as its troubles with registering its new players with La Liga shows, it still has little headroom for error in getting the sequencing of the ins and outs on its pay bill right.

    Yet, Barca’s strategy is not nonsensical. As the Telegraph article linked to above points out, the big money for the marquee clubs lies more in the Champions League than in their domestic league. Barca cannot afford another CL exit like last season’s when it didn’t get out of the group stage. It is simply buying its way deep into this season’s lucrative later knockout rounds. If it is successful, its finances will self-right (up to a point, but you get my drift.)

    The sceptic in me would say that high spending is what got Barca into a financial mess in the first place, and here it is doing the same thing again. But, heigh-ho, this is football.

  85. 85
    North Bank Ned says:

    If we have any Floridians in the bar, Tony Paris, who thrice coached KI, now coaches the men’s soccer team at Saint Leo University near Tampa and may be the only collegiate coach in the US to have also coached in a Champions League game.

  86. 86
    bt8 says:

    Scruz Gooner, Sometimes I long for the joys of those days when Googling and Wikipedia wasn’t a thing yet. Not too often though.👍🏼

    Why didn’t they pick FAR instead of FRO? Probably not a Googlable question.

  87. 87
    bt8 says:

    Ned, Mr. Paris sounds like his career has brought him some interesting experiences. Tampa sounds like the antidote for the Faroese climate, but I have heard the Faroes are in the Gulf Stream so may not be as chilly as it might be predicted.

  88. 88
    TTG says:

    The architect of Fulham’s downfall was Kevin Betsy our former U21 coach. I’m not sure why Fulham who only play league anddomestic cup games don’t prioritise the Carabao more . Saturday won’t be easy

  89. 89
    Cent says:

    Thanks for the kind words and drinks, Ned and Bath. The next round is on me, soon as I can find Lars’ wallet. Which reminds me, is Lars from Dave’s bar the same person here as Las?
    I’m always lurking, I read all the posts, and most comments, albeit a day or two after they go up. More power to everyone involved in setting up and running this new bar, and long may The Arsenal stay on top of the table.

  90. 90
    North Bank Ned says:

    bt8@86: FIFA broadly follows the ISO 3166-1 three-letter country code standard, which are derived from the county’s internationally standardised two-letter code, which in the Faroes case is FO. That begs the question of why that isn’t FA, just as France is FR and Finland FI. It might have something to do with the fact that the country is called Føroyar in its native language, but that is just a guess. Or, sweet though the Faroes no doubt are, perhaps they didn’t want to be known as FA.

  91. 91
    TTG says:

    Cent
    Greetings,it’s great to hear from you. You are a very welcome visitor to the bar.
    Lars of the infamous expanding wallet and Las are two different posters although we haven’t heard from Lars for some time . Don’t be a stranger !

  92. 92
    Countryman100 says:

    Cent, thank you for your kind words. It’s a labour of love, and our guiding light is always “what would Dave have done?”

  93. 93
    bathgooner says:

    As c100 knows, I am not a great fan of podcasts, but by chance I landed on this one. It’s a genuinely enjoyable discussion between a trio of Arsenal fans:

    https://theathletic.com/3528098/2022/08/22/arsenal-podcast-handbrake-off-3/

  94. 94
    Pangloss says:

    Oxonne and I had a memorable holiday in the Faroe Islands a few years back. Astoundingly beautiful scenery. Sadly prone to fog in late Summer – it’s evaporation from the sea, don’t you know – but that’s the only caveat.

  95. 95
    Trev says:

    hey Cent, Bayonne Jean,

    good to see you again – just having a quick catch-up !

    Some of us involved in this caper still have to work, you know !

    Don’t be strangers !

  96. 96
    North Bank Ned says:

    Blogs is well worth reading today on what All or Nothing didn’t show and the preternatural silence in the dressing room that it did show.

  97. 97
    bt8 says:

    *Salutes Cent and Bayonne Jean for their excellent lurking.*

    As others have said, Don’t be a stranger now. 🙂

  98. 98
    bathgooner says:

    Lofts a high ball into the ‘centre forward’ channel and runs towards the opposition box…

  99. 99
    Countryman100 says:

    Jesus takes down with a perfect touch, beats three men and lays it off ……

  100. 100
    bt8 says:

    Nips one, Ødegaard like, off Jesus’ toes

  101. 101
    Countryman100 says:

    Well in bt8!

  102. 102
    TTG says:

    And the King smashes it home!

  103. 103
    TTG says:

    What do you mean Mike Dean on VAR has disallowed my goal? Gutted

  104. 104
    TTG says:

    Still gutted 😃
    Thanks Bath for attaching the podcast . I don’t listen to many but that is a good one and captures the Arsenal feelgood factor very well. I still remember Amy as a young teenage fan cutting her journalistic teeth on the Gooner
    Driving along today I must confess I listened to the transfer round up on TalkShite . It is clear that the transfer market is really heating up but almost that all the big deals are being done in the Premier League – Fofana, Gordon, Isak, Paqueta, Aubameyang , Antony and maybe Neto . Next week will likely see an escalation but I bet 90% is in England . Every deal you conduct with a foreign club is a loan with the English club subsidising their wages .This is going to increase the divide and I bet UEFA will be very uncomfortable because it is likely to lead to English domination of the European club competitions .
    It also struck me how sensible it is to get your main purchases in place as early as possible to avoid last minute auctions

  105. 105
    North Bank Ned says:

    Well in for the ton, bt8.

    Trev@95: Work? I love it. I could sit and watch it all day…

  106. 106
    bathgooner says:

    Well in for the ton, bt8. Excellent assist C100. I had two moments of deja vue!

    Ned @105, mega-heh!

  107. 107
    Countryman100 says:

    Ned @105. Jerome K. Jerome if I am not mistaken.

  108. 108
    North Bank Ned says:

    I tore myself from idling to read UEFA’s technical report on last season’s CL. One for tactical nerds, but it makes the point that wily old Ancellotti won it by not doing all the things that all the progressive young modern coaches do, e.g., high defensive lines and relentless pressing. Having the competition’s top striker and goalkeeper helps.

    https://uefatechnicalreports.com/ucl-2022

  109. 109
    North Bank Ned says:

    C100@107: To say nothing of the dog.

  110. 110
    bt8 says:

    Sky reporting on the impending Pepe loan to Nice: “Emery described the Ivorian as a player who needed to be “more demanding of himself” in conversation with Sky Sports in November 2019 and Arteta saw him in the same way.”

  111. 111
    bt8 says:

    re: Bath @93 thanks for posting that excellent podcast. Great stuff particularly about the songs.

  112. 112
    OsakaMatt says:

    It seems Howard Webb is coming to make our refereeing all better
    https://www.theguardian.com/football/2022/aug/24/howard-webb-pgmol-referees-england-premier-league

    How he’s done on VAR in the MLS?

  113. 113
    OsakaMatt says:

    Home to Brighton in the League Cup, on paper we have a strong squad this year so a good run in this one seems possible.

  114. 114
    bt8 says:

    Re: Ned @90, I am agreed that it was probably quite politically astute of the Faroes not to become known as FA. I am impressed by your knowledge of Faroese in any case and in all their big matches I will remember that FRO means the Faroe Islands.

  115. 115
    bt8 says:

    The dot.con has released three episodes of an infomercial for the Rwandan tourism board featuring Ray Parlour and Robert Pires. They seem to have had a good time there, and Ray defeated Robert in a kayaking race, but I am no more likely to visit that country.

  116. 116
    North Bank Ned says:

    One of Citeh or the Chavs having to go out in the third round will help, OM, though I’d bet that Potter will put out a pretty near full-strength team against us.

  117. 117
    North Bank Ned says:

    What Google doesn’t know, bt8, the Monks do. 😉

  118. 118
    OsakaMatt says:

    Yeah he might Ned, though Potter has no history of starting a strong XI in the League Cup so hopefully he does the same this time.

  119. 119
    North Bank Ned says:

    bt8@115: Rwanda ranks 120th out of 165 countries ranked in the Human Freedom Index compiled by the Cato Institute, the Fraser Institute and the Friedrich Naumann Foundation. I have struggled from the first to see how this sponsorship aligns with our values as a club.

  120. 120
    North Bank Ned says:

    OM@118: That is true against lower-league opposition, but when facing PL teams he has stiffened his sides with his first-choice players, all of whom start or are on the bench to bring on, usually early in the second half. That said, he has lost three out of three in the league cup against PL teams.

  121. 121
    Countryman100 says:

    We have 9 matches in 30 days in October. Busy for the squad and busy for bloggers too!

  122. 122
    bt8 says:

    Re: OM @112: Keeping in mind this information from Webb’s Wikipedia window, “Webb then became director of referees for the Saudi Arabian Football Federation, while also joining BT Sport as an analyst. After resigning his position with SAFF in January 2017 – to be replaced by Mark Clattenburg – it was announced that from March 2017 he would become the Manager of Video Assistant Referee Operations for Major League Soccer’s Professional Referee Organization.”

    —Having attended dozens of MLS matches during Webb’s time in MLS (2017-2022), my impression is that there was a vast improvement in the implementation of VAR over that period in MLS resulting in shorter game stoppages, fewer lengthy controversies, and generally higher satisfaction with the way VAR has been used. Looking at Webb’s biographical information above I would wonder if the danger in his appointment might lie in a latent or potential bias in favor of Newcastle United seeing as that club is owned by his former employers. I always thought Webb was a reasonably good referee though, so applaud his appointment, for now at least.

  123. 123
    North Bank Ned says:

    We will avoid Roma, Man U, Lazio, Braga, Crvena zvezda, Dynamo Kyiv and either Olympiacos* or Feyenoord in the Europa League group stage as they should be the fellow first-seeds.

    That leaves Feyenoord (if it is not a first seed), PSV Eindhoven, Rennes, Real Sociedad, Monaco and Qarabag in the second-seeds pot along with two or three, depending on Feyenoord’s status, of Gent*, Malmo*, Ludogorets Razgrad*, Sheriff Tiraspol*, Real Betis and Midtjylland.

    The clubs marked with a * are playing the second leg of their qualifying round games today.

    Some decent clubs in the second-seed pot but all beatable. You can bet we will draw the one long journey (Qarabag).

  124. 124
    OsakaMatt says:

    That’s good to hear about Webb and MLS VAR thanks bt8. Though I am doubtful we will get any root and branch reform from him, I hope Webb will be better than Riley. That is the lowest bar I can set for him

  125. 125
    TTG says:

    Cricket notice !
    I relented and went to The Hundred yesterday . It was mainly to try to inculcate my grandsons in the great game
    During the game there was this incredible bit of fielding
    https://www.skysports.com/watch/video/sports/cricket/12680729/ben-ducketts-incredible-mid-air-fielding-saves-a-six

  126. 126
    TTG says:

    Pepe’s loan to Nice has been confirmed by Arsenal .
    Might we expect Neto, Zaha, Diaby or Gakpo….or no one?

  127. 127
    scruzgooner says:

    ttg@125, why couldn’t he just catch the ball and hold on? the ball can never cross the white line, even under control?

    good luck pépé. now for amn and hecate.

  128. 128
    bt8 says:

    Excellent news re the Pepe transfer, or loan better said. Change of scenery is what’s needed for all concerned.

    Just watched the Bournemouth match for the second time, and really enjoyed the players saluting the traveling supporters afterward. There’s an excellent dynamic building there.

  129. 129
    bt8 says:

    Tim Stillman’s column is an excellent read on the times in the last few decades when an Arsenal disappointment felt like the end or the beginning of an era, putting into context the disappointment at the end of last season and the response we have seen. Hint as to his conclusion: “the title is “Start”

  130. 130
    bt8 says:

    The above being at Arseblog, por supuesto.

  131. 131
    OsakaMatt says:

    Good news that we found somewhere for Pepe for this season at least. I might actually watch a bit of Marseille vs Nice on Sunday as there are so many past and present of the parish. AMN may be next to be sorted out, but I fear the Hector saga may not end well.

  132. 132
    OsakaMatt says:

    scruz, can’t see that video in my location but yes once the ball goes over it’s a boundary.

  133. 133
    North Bank Ned says:

    This is how the pots for the Europe League dras stand by my reckoning:

    1. Man U, Roma, Arsenal, Lazio, Braga, Crvena zvezda, Dynamo Kyiv, Olympiacos
    2. Feyenoord, Rennes, PSV Eindhoven, Real Sociedad, Monaco, Qarabağ, Malmö, Ludogorets
    3. Sheriff Tiraspol, Real Betis, Midtjylland, Bodø/Glimt, Ferencváros, Freiburg, Union Berlin, Fenerbahçe
    4. Nantes, HJK Helsinki, Sturm Graz, AEK Larnaca, Omonoia, Zürich, Union Saint-Gilloise, Trabzonspor

    Travelwise, the worse group we could draw would be with Qarabag, Sheriff Tiraspol and Trabzonspor; trips to Azerbaijan, Moldova and Turkey.

  134. 134
    North Bank Ned says:

    Scruz@127: This is cricket. It is complicated. It is a bit like a wide receiver’s feet, except it is not. Law 33.2.2.4 says that a catch is fair if ‘a fielder catches the ball after it has crossed the boundary in the air, provided that the conditions in 33.2.1 are met’. Law 33.2.1 says, ‘a catch will be fair only if, in every case either the ball, at any time or any fielder in contact with the ball, is not grounded beyond the boundary before the catch is completed’. I refer you to Law 19 for the relevant definitions of grounded and Law 33.3 for the definitions of a completed catch. You can see why so many lawyers love cricket.

    But in short: a boundary doesn’t count until the ball crosses the line and touches the ground or something in contact with the ground (a boundary rope or a fielder, for example). Fours are fours as soon as the ball rolls over the line, but sixes are not until the ball is grounded. Thus a fielder, providing he takes off from within the field of play, can prevent a six by leaping up and batting the ball back into the field of play with his hand even after it has crossed the boundary, as Duckett did, because the ball is still in the air, and so is he, thus no grounding on either score. But, if Duckett had caught it, it would have inevitably been a six because a fielder has to be in ‘complete control’ of the ball and his movement for it to count as a fair catch. Crashing into the ground beyond the boundary at the end of his leap, even with the ball securely in hand, would not satisfy the complete control of movement requirement. The ball would count as grounded as soon as Duckett hit the deck. Of course, if he had miraculously changed direction in mid-air and landed back on the field of play, it would have been out — and TTG really would have seen something incredible.

  135. 135
    OsakaMatt says:

    My explanation was so much simpler scruz. Wrong of course but well……😂😂

  136. 136
    OsakaMatt says:

    On a surer footing, Stoke are 21st in championship and have just sacked their manager after a disastrous start in the league and being dumped out of the League Cup by Morecambe. Haha

  137. 137
    Doctor Faustus says:

    Ned @ 134: Growing up playing and watching cricket in a cricket obsessed country I had never really consciously thought about how essentially complex the game is, both in terms of rules and the various technical nuances. It’s only after moving to US whenever I tried to explain the game to any novice I realized how bewilderingly strange it may appear to those who aren’t familiar with it. 🙂

    Best wishes to Pépé in Nice! Never really worked out for him in Arsenal, but I am of the opinion that not all of that can be blamed on his lack of application (even though it must have a played a part). He had scored a few excellent goals — I think of all his 27 goals only a very few are just simple tap-ins — and for a brief period worked well with Auba-Laca. He started the FA cup final and made crucial match-winning contribution, and that would likely remain the highlight of his Arsenal career. Hopefully he will reestablish himself in league football back in France.

  138. 138
    scruzgooner says:

    ned, a nice group drawn for travel world be monaco, betis, and nantes.

    thanks, matt. i found it on youtube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz9KIq0XCv8

  139. 139
    scruzgooner says:

    faustus@137, i was with ttg in the north bank upper when he came off the bench to strike two free kicks that won the game against vitoria sc, in the goal right below us. i will always appreciate that.

  140. 140
    North Bank Ned says:

    OM@135: It’s cricket. Nothing is simple. 🙂

    Dr F@137: I explain to Americans baffled by the game that you play for five days and there is no result, and that, once they have truly understood that, everything else falls into place. Explaining lbw is on a higher plane, however, requiring similar enlightenment to understanding the infield fly rule in baseball.

    Scruz@138: Glad you found the Duckett clip. You see now what I mean.

    Can’t have Monaco and Nantes in the same group, but picking one of the other Pot 4 cities to replace Nantes offers an uninspiring choice. I like Helsinki, but understand that it’s not to everyone’s taste. Graz is pretty and historical, but pretty and historical. Larnaca and Nicosia are a journey (Cyprus), as is Trabzon (Black Sea), though, like Graz, it is pretty and historical, I’m told (not been there). Zürich and Brussels (have been there!) are, well, Zürich and Brussels, towns of gnomes and eurocrats, respectively. But all good towns in which to watch the Arsenal win.

  141. 141
    scruzgooner says:

    cheers, ned. i think monaco, betis, and brussels would be just fine for full points in the group stages…

  142. 142
    scruzgooner says:

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>