Goonerholics Forever

Predictathon 2025-26

Editor’s note: this is the historical record of the 2026-26 Predictathon. We are posting this just before Dr. Faustus’s Community Shield preview so we can get it in the archive.

The commencement of the 2026-27 edition is now available at the GHF Contests tab above. Get your entry in and let’s make another big donation to the Willow Foundation!

Matchweek 38: The King is dead. Long live the king!

Congratulations to Potsticker on retaining his crown as the bar’s biggest know-it-all, with back-to-back Predictathon titles. No mean feat.

The final matchweek was a case of who slowed least as the distance took its toll, but there were no alarms for our defending champion, with TTG following him across the line to claim silver.

However, Dr. F Jnr’s prescient pre-season prediction of a good term for Sunderland gave him a late surge, edging GSD out of the podium places. Dr. F moved up from below the salt to finish fifth and complete the famous five, beating the Crowd.

That left Steviehyperdee the best of the rest, ahead of Trev, bt8 and Ollie, who had a rollercoaster final day, starting 14th, rising as high as eighth, falling back to 14th and finishing tenth.

Lots of to-ing and fro-ing through the middle of the pack to the tail, which was as tightly packed as ever, but left BtM, Sancho Panza and Boff as the last three home.

Instead of the customary five-week form guide, the monks have prepared a chart showing the shifting fortunes on the final day, along with the leaderboard that counts.

A full report on the GHF Predictathon 2025-26 will follow. Thanks to everyone who participated and generously donated to Bob Wilson’s Willow Foundation, for which we raised around £900.

---

Matchweek 37:  One to go 

Thirty-seven gruelling matchweeks have passed. The GHF Predictathon finishing line is in sight, and the pace is quickening. 

All but three players’ scores improved, but the stumbles were mostly disastrous. 

On average, the results from Newcastle, Brentford and Chelsea just about offset the damage caused by Sunderland beating Everton and moving up to 10th in the PL table.

Defending champion Potsticker, who made his push to the front in Matchweek 33, extended his lead to 48 points over TTG. Meanwhile, GSD is steadily closing in on the Ol’ Kent Coyote.

Is there a final burst of that legendary speed left, or will Dino’s relentless consistency carry him to a shinier medal?

Might even young Dr F Jnr find a late run to glory? With the week’s most improved score, he is now the best of the rest, behind the thrilling threesome beating the crowd.

In a week, we’ll know.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the pack, the jostling for bragging rights is as fierce as ever.

Behind Dr. F Jnr, Steviehyperdee now leads a group comprising Trev, Dr. F, bt8, and your correspondent, separated by just 10 points.

Then come CER land Uply, who are level on points, followed by Scruz, Ollie, the Aritocrat and Pangloss; the span there is 26 points. 

Then the tail starts to fan out. Lonestar stumbled badly, leaving him perilously close to the relegation zone, while C100 escaped it at the expense of OM. There are only two points in it, though.

More last-minute twists and turns to come next Sunday, no doubt,

The naughty step is crowded, as it has to accommodate Sunderland, Brentford, Bournemouth and Forest alongside the neighbours.

Your Matchweek 37 leaderboard and five-game form guide:

---

Matchweek 36: Holding firm, but who will falter?

The line is coming into view. Just two matchweeks to go. Our defending champion, Potsticker, is holding his 30-point lead over the Ol’ Kent Coyote. Dino remains in third, 28 points behind, exactly as he was last matchweek.

Only that trio of titans is beating the Crowd.

Positions were largely unchanged this matchweek. Brentford’s defeat and Brighton’s win were the only two results to have a material impact on scores. 

Twenty points shaved off were enough to give 21st Century Gooner the most improved score of the matchweek. The two players whose scores worsened, Lonestar and Pangloss, added just two points.

Dr. F leads a tightly packed group in pursuit of a podium place that includes CER, Lonestar, Ollie (the biggest riser of the week, up three places), Dr. F Jnr, Trev and bt8. Eight points separate them.

Hanging on their shirt-tails while avoiding yellow cards is a group comprising Steviehyperdee, your correspondent, Scruz, Uply and the Aristocrat. 

After that, the tail fans out.

While there was no change in positions from Uply in 15th downwards, it took the tiebreakers to preserve Bath’s ascendancy over Hertfordshire’s Handsomest.

The neighbours and the Bees remain the primary occupants of the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 36 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 35: The pressure mounts

Three matchweeks to go. Potsticker is holding his lead, but TTG has cut it to 30 points. GSD is in hot pursuit in third, while the rest of the chasing pack has fallen back, leaving just that terrific trio beating the Crowd.

Lonestar, buoyed by the Brighton and Everton results, is now the best of the rest. He was the only player to improve his score in Matchweek 35, which lifted him eight places.

Yet only 50 points separate Lonestar from Pangloss, who rose four places to 17th, thanks largely to the Brentford result.  

A miserly four points separate Trev in 9th (level on points with bt8) from your correspondent in 14th (level on points with Steviehyperdee and Scruz).

The relegation zone remains unchanged for the second successive week.

The neighbours and the Bees take up most of the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 35 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 34: Potsticker pushes on

The abbreviated Matchweek 34 saw every player’s score improve.

Everton, Liverpool, Villa, Man City, and we all contributed to that, but none so much as Sunderland, whose drop of one place in the PL table knocked off an average of 13 points per player.

Only Fulham was on the other side of the ledger on average, though not for everyone.

Potsticker, one of the beneficiaries of Fulham’s win, stretched his lead over TTG, who was pole-axed by it, to 66 points. With four matchweeks still to go, has our defending champion gone too early?

Meanwhile, GSD and Ollie, in third and fourth, respectively, closed in on the ol’ Kent Cayote.

Dr. F, an even bigger beneficiary of Fulham than Potsticker (though not as much as Lonestar), moved up the field to complete a fantabuloso fivesome, beating the Crowd.

bt8 slipped below the salt and is narrowly ahead of Dr. F Jnr and the still ascendant Steviehyperdee. 

Trev, another one on the up, and CER, not so much, round out the top ten.

The middle of the pack is as tight as ever, but remarkably doesn’t need a tiebreaker anywhere.

Just 50 points separate Scruz, who had the most improved score of the week, and Pangloss, who slipped two places but is still 30 points clear of an unchanged relegation zone.

As ever, plenty of mid-table jostling, with only the Aristocrat keeping his place unchanged.

The neighbours pretty much have the naughty step to themselves, but there is still room for the Barcodes, the Bees and the Black Cats to squeeze in at the end.

Your Matchweek 34 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 33: Mixing it up

The extended Matchweek 33 brought mixed fortunes. As many players improved their score as saw it worsen.

The Brentford, Sunderland and Everton results were the most helpful on average, while Chelsea, Brighton and Bournemouth did few favours.

The matchweek also brought a change of leader. Our defending champion, Potsticker, with the second-most-improved score of the week, overtook long-time front-runner TTG. Is art mimicking life?

GSD moved up four places to reclaim third, pushing Ollie down to fourth. bt8, ascending the table for a fourth successive week, slid into fifth to complete the famous five beating the Crowd.

Dr. F is now the best of the rest, two points ahead of Dr. F Jnr and ten ahead of CER. 

Steviehyperdee and Trev, up six places, round out the top ten.

There was a lot of significant movement in the lower half of the table, as the form guide attests.

BtM had the most improved score of the week, hauling himself to within eight points of the Aristocrat — and clear of the relegation zone into which Sancho Panza has fallen.

The neighbours continue to hog the naughty step. Sunderland, Newcastle and Brentford are sharing what space is left.

Your Matchweek 33 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 32: Grim going

The Predictalull did no favours. Every player’s score worsened after the resumption, a couple quite calamitously.

Newcastle, the neighbours and Sunderland did the damage, more than offsetting the benefits of the Fulham, West Ham and Palace results.

TTG’s lead was trimmed back to 20 points by Potsticker, who moved into second ahead of Ollie, who slid into third.

Dr. F slipped back to fourth, one place ahead of Dr. F Jnr.

The five at the front were followed by bt8, GSD and CER, who were only separated by the tiebreakers. Lonestar was two points further adrift, completing the noble nine beating the Crowd.

Uply now heads up the best of the rest, but there are only 70 points between him and Sancho Panza, one place clear of the relegation zone, in which C100 changed places with BtM, who had the best performance of the week inasmuch as he had the least worse change to his score.

The neighbours now occupy the majority of the naughty step, with the Bees, the Black Cats and the Barcodes sniggering on the end.

Your Matchweek 32 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 31: Not such a good week all round

Scores worsened for all but one player in Matchweek 31. Sunderland and Fulham’s ascents up the PL table and Newcastle and the neighbours’ slide, more than offset the benefits of the moves brought by the Forest, Brighton and Bournemouth results.

As a consequence, TTG remained out front, but the Ol’ Kent Coyote’s lead was almost halved to 26 points by a resurgent Dr. F Jnr, who had the second least damaged score of the week and moved into second.

Dr. F moved up one to third, ahead of our Parisien Prognosticator, whose montagnes russe of a season this week carried him up from below the salt to fourth. He was the only player to improve his score, benefiting more than most from the Bournemouth and Newcastle results.

Potsticker and Lonestar slipped to fifth and sixth, ahead of CER and GSD, who complete the  octet of oraclarity beating the Crowd.

OM is now the best of the rest. He and bt8 eased away a touch from the tight middle of the pack bunch stretching from Uply in 12th to Steviehyperdee in 20th.

Bath put a little more daylight between himself and the relegation zone, where the occupants and their order remained unchanged.

The neighbours and the Bees still dominate the naughty step, with the Black Cats firmly on the end.

Your Matchweek 31 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 30: Eight to go and the pace picks up

Every player’s score improved as the field barrelled through the Matchweek 30 milestone, thanks to the Black Cats dropping two more places in the PL table, the Barcodes rising three and the Seagulls, two.

Yet, not every improvement was equal. TTG also eked out enough small gains from Liverpool, Fulham and Bournemouth not only to regain the lead but to open up a 44-point gap over Lonestar, who got dinged by Brighton and Fulham.

At the other end of the table, Bath, who did better than most out of Brighton beating Sunderland, saw his score improve sufficiently to lift him out of the relegation zone, at the expense of BtM, for whom the winds off the Tyne blew only ill. C100 matched Bath’s improvement point for point, and remains tight on his tail.

With Lonestar falling back to second, Potsticker closed to within two points of him and eased Dr. F out of third place. GSD and Dr. F Jnr held pat, completing the super sextet beating the Crowd.

Ollie slipped beneath the salt. It is proving a season of montagnes russes for our Parisian prognosticator.

The jostling in the middle of the pack remains as elbowy, if that is a word, as ever. Just 50 points separate CER in eighth from Steveyhyperdee, who took a spectacular slide to 18th. The surprise of the week was that no tiebreakers were called into action.

Below them, Sancho Panza, with the most improved score of the week, and 21st Century Gooner are just about keeping clear of the relegation dog fight.

Brentford and the neighbours’ bulging backsides continue to take up most of the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 30 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 29: The pressure starts to tell

A matchweek in which players’ scores generally worsened, if only slightly, nonetheless brought a new leader.

Lonestar, bucking the trend with the second most improved score of the week — albeit by just two points, now heads the field. He did as well out of the result at the Amex as others did badly.

TTG dropped back to second. Dr. F and Potsticker swapped places behind him, as did GSD and Ollie for fifth and seventh, leaving Dr. F Jnr in sixth unchanged.

Those seven again form the septet beating the Crowd.

The middle of the pack got even more congested, with lots of jostling for position.

Steviehyperdee, who improved his score by a week-leading four points, replaced CER as the best of the rest.

Yet only 42 points separate him from Trev in 18th. Your correspondent, Uply, Scruz and Pangloss were among those on the up this week. OM and the Aristocrat resumed their rollercoaster rides.

It’s getting ugly in there — and you can take that anyway you like.

In the nether regions (Matron!), BtM got himself back level on points with Sancho Panza, the latter shading the tiebreakers. But that was sufficient for him escape the relegation zone at the expense of Bath.

The Bees and the neighbours still occupy most of the naughty step, but the Black Cats and Forest have wriggled into a bit more space at the end.

Your Matchweek 29 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 28: TTG leads at the turn into the final ten.

Only four players improved their scores in Matchweek 28, none more so than Ollie. Boosted by Bournemouth and the Barcodes, our Parisien Prognosticator rose six places to put himself firmly in the pack chasing TTG. 

The Ol’ Kent Coyote stretched his lead over Lonestar and Potsticker by a smidgin. Dr F held off Ollie to stay fourth. GSD slipped back behind Dr F Jnr, although only the tightest of tiebreakers separates them. 

Those seven are the super septet beating the crowd.

CER moved up to be the best of the rest. The middle of the pack is as bunched as ever. A mere 46 points separate CER in eighth from Pangloss in 18th. Steviehyperdee, the Aristocrat and Uply are separated only by tiebreakers.

However, with 10 teams having an impact on scores this week — Brighton, Bournemouth, ‘Pool and Villa favourably; Palace, Chelsea, Fulham, Red Mancs, Everton and Geordie Arabia unfavourably on average — positions continue to swing wildly.

Thereafter, it looks increasingly like a relegation scrap. Bath — another Bouremouth-Barcodes beneficiary; his was the third-most improved score of the week —  moved out of the bottom three at the expense of Hertfordshire’s Handsomest, for whom Bournemouth and the Barcodes piled on unwanted points.

The Black Cats are off the naughty step for the first time this season. It is now the domain of Brentford and the neighbours.

Your Matchweek 28 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 27: The pack closes in

The ol’ Kent Coyote slowed his pace, with Everton holding him back, letting Lonestar, Potsticker, Dr. F and GSD peg back his lead from 40 points to eight.

Dr. F Jnr completes the super six beating the Crowd.

StevieHyperDee now heads the best-of-the-rest. Scruz moved into the top ten with the most improved score of the week, thanks to the Fulham and Bournemouth results.

Lots of jostling in the middle of the pack, despite scores not changing much. Ollie and OM, both with cause to be thankful to Fulham, elbowed their way a couple of places forward.

With the tiebreakers edging him ahead of the otherwise level pegging 21st Century Gooner, BtM rose another place clear of the relegation zone, where the incumbents did not trouble the record keeper, although Bath closed to within two points of Sancho Panza.

Brentford, costing players 80 points on average, and the neighbours (73 points) remain the prime occupiers of the naughty seat, with Forest (48 points) and Sunderland (41 points) still comfortably perched on the end.

Your Matchweek 27 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 26: Whirling wind from the North-east

Elongated Matchweek 26 saw TTG extend his lead to 40 points and his score break below 300.

All but five players’ scores improved, mainly because Sunderland dropped two more places in the Premier League table while the Barcodes moved up by the same amount.

With the wind at their backs, Lonestar and Potsticker moved to the front of the chasing group. However, Dr. F and Dr. F Jnr ran into headwinds. The Beantown Two were pushed back and separated by Dino, who rose on the gentle breezes from Fulham, Bournemouth, and, er, Leeds.

That super sextet are the ones beating the Crowd.  

OM and Ollie fell below the salt. Perversely, OM slid further down the rankings than Ollie, despite an unchanged score, while Ollie’s score worsened. Fine margins and all that.

Your correspondent, with the most improved score of the week, moved up to be the best of the rest, level on points with CER but ahead on the tiebreakers.

The middle of the pack remains closely grouped. A mere 28 points separate us from the Aristocrat in 17th.

Much-improved scores for Scruz, Uply and Pangloss generated robust jostling for position.

Beneath the main pack, the tail is noticeably straggling. Hertfordshire’s Handsomest put some distance between himself and the relegation zone, where Bath and C100 swapped places.

It is now the Bees and the chicken on a basketball that occupy most of the naughty step, with the Black Cats and Forest on the end.

Your Matchweek 26 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 25: Blazing saddles

Tunbridge Wells Fargo moseyed into town and took out the Boston boys. The ‘ol Kent Coyote himself, TTG, moves to the head of the pack, thanks mostly to Everton’s win lifting them two places in the PL table.

Results mostly went against Predictathon players in Matchweek 25. Only six improved their scores. Time for some true grit.

The positive effects of Sunderland and Fulham’s slide down the PL table and Palace’s ascent were more than offset by Everton’s win, Newcastle and Brighton’s defeats and the neighbours being the neighbours.

Lonestar had the most improved score of the week, shaving off 24 points, enough to lift him into fourth place ahead of Potsticker and only just behind Dr. F and Dr. F Jnr. For a few points more….

Ollie, GSD and OM round out the posse beating the Crowd. The magnificent, er, eight.

The middle of the pack remains bunched. Just 56 points separate Steviehyperdee in 10th and 21st Century Gooner in 19th. No country for old men.

bt8 was the mid-table mover of the week, up five places to 13th, thanks largely to Palace’s win. CER and Scruz were also on the up. The long riders?

Hertfordshire’s Handsomest eased out of the relegation zone — just, thanks to his two-point advantage over C100. But there is barely anything in it between those two and Bath, leaving Boff our high plains drifter.

Sunderland and Brentford still dominate the naughtly step, but the neighbours and Forest got themselves a bit more bum space. Rawhide.

Your Matchweek 25 leaderboard of the good, the bad and the ugly and your five-week tombstone:

---

Matchweek 24: Ouch!

Sunderland’s win over Burnley restored the Black Cats to eighth in the Premier League and inflicted serious damage on Predictathon players. Everyone’s score got much worse in Matchweek 24.

Relatively speaking, that was good, or at least, least bad, for Dr. F Jnr who wrested back the lead from Dr. F.  Just four points separate the Bostonians. 

There was no change in the next four positions, with TTG, Potsticker, Lonestar and Ollie holding pat. GSD returned to top table, completing the super septet beating the Crowd.

OM slipped below the salt, with Fulham and Bournemouth doing him no favours.

Steviehyperdee, who had the least deterioration in his score thanks to a south coast boost from Bournemouth and Brighton, made the move of the week, up eight places and into the top 10.

Plenty of boxing and coxing in the middle of the pack, which remains bunched. Only 36 points separate Pangloss in twelfth from Sancho Pancho in 20th. Pangloss, CER, Trev and bt8 all moved up at the expense of the rest of us.

No changes in the relegation zone, but it does look to be becoming a four-way fight. Boff gained four points on Hertfordshire’s Handsomest, who gained 18 on Bath, who gained four on C100.

Sunderland restored its primacy on the naughty step, elbowing aside Brentford, Forest and the neighbours.

Your Matchweek 24 leader board and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 23: Small changes to big effect

A week of mostly, but not universally, small changes to players’ scores, with improvements thanks to Sunderland’s continuing slide down the PL table offset by Fulham’s ascent, caused a notable tightening in the pack, along with some dramatic shifts in positions.

There was generational change at the top with Fulham’s result giving Dr. F a sufficient boost to propel him past Dr. F Jnr and into the lead. What happens in Bean Town stays in Bean Town.

TTG held third, but Potsticker moved up two places into fourth. Lonestar, another big Fulham beneficiary, continued his recovery, rising to fifth from twelfth with the most improved score of the week.  

Those two pushed Ollie and OM down two places each, but they still completed the super seven beating the  Crowd. 

GSD leapfrogged Uply to be the best of the rest. However, between Uply in tenth and bt8 in 20th there are just 36 points. 

That cohort includes Sancho Panza, up six places to 13th, shading your correspondent on the tiebreakers, and Scruz, who, with the second-most-improved score of the week, soared from the outskirts of the relegation zone to serene suburbs of 17th.

Brentford now has the largest share of the naughty step, followed by Sunderland, Forest and the neighbours, with Fulham squeezing on at the end.

Your Matchweek 23 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 22:  West London windfall

All but four players recovered ground lost the previous week, with Brentford’s loss at the Bus Stop accounting for the overwhelming majority of the improvement in scores in Matchweek 22.

For the third successive week, Dr. F Jnr and Dr. F led the field, but TTG, getting double joy from the Everton result, recovered the third place he lost last week. Ollie returned to top table, moving up to fourth with a boost from the Barcodes.

OM and Potsticker slipped one and three places, respectively. They are level on points, and both would have been down two if the tiebreakers had broken the other way. Regardless, they complete the super six beating the Crowd.

The middle of the pack is getting ever tighter. Less than 40 points separate Uply in eighth and your correspondent in 17th. 

Like Uply, CER, Lonestar and the Aristocrat were on the up, largely thanks to Moyes’s mob, as were Steviehyperdee and C100 in the netherworld between midtable and the relegation zone.

There was no change in the relegation zone for a second week despite BtM and Boff having the most improved scores of the week.

There was also scant change on the naughty step. The Black Cats and the Bees still take up most of it, with Forest and the neighbours perched on the end.

Your Matchweek 22 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 21: A punishing week

Worsening scores for nearly every player in Matchweek 21, with Brentford, now in fifth, doing damage. Combined with additional points from the Bus Stop and the Middlesex Marshes, any improvement gleaned from Sunderland’s continuing slow but steady descent was more than wiped out.

The only three who improved their scores — Lonestar, Scruz and OM — did well. Lonestar’s roller coaster ride continued, moving him up from 20th to 16th, while Scruz’s upward thrust (Matron!) took him further from the relegation zone to the giddy heights of 18th. OM only rose one place, to fourth, but cut the distance he trails front-runner Dr. F Jnr by more than a third.

Dr. F remained in second, with Potsticker easing into the last of the podium places as TTG dropped to fifth.

TTG completes the quintet beating the Crowd. Ollie is level on points with the Crowd, but behind on the tie breakers, and just two ahead of Pangloss, who was up two places. That pushed GSD down one to ninth. 

Trev, who did better than anyone from the Chelsea result, passed Uply, 21st Century Gooner and CER in rising three places and rounding out the top ten.

Steviehyperdee’s worse-than-average triple whammy from the Brentford, Chavs and Spu*z results, compounded by doing less well out of Sunderland than anyone else apart from 21st Century Gooner, let some of the rest of us mid-table mediocrities advance a place. 

The relegation zone remained unchanged, although a bit further adrift.

The Bees now take up most room on the naughty step, elbowing aside the Black Cats. Forest and the neighbours have still managed to squeeze in on the end.

---

Matchweek 20: Scruz escapes the relegation zone

Matchweek 20 saw notable improvements in scores, thanks to the Barcodes beating Palace and Brighton’s victory. Sunderland’s draw with the neighbours was something of a mixed bag for players, but overall more positive than negative, as Brentford’s win at the Hill-Dick moved the Mackems down a place on goal difference.

Potsticker and Pangloss, both big winners from the Everton v Brentford result, recorded triple-digit score reductions, and Scruz was only a smidgen short. Just two players saw their scores rise, but for Lonestar, badly dinged by Everton, it proved a roller-coaster ride.

The Boston pairing of Dr. F Jnr and Dr. F remains at the head of the pack, but TTG moves into third and has narrowed the gap on the leaders. Our defending champion showed some of last term’s form by soaring into fourth place, ahead of Ollie and OM, who complete the sextet beating the Crowd.

Below the salt, Dino leads 21st Century Gooner, Pangloss and Uply, who are separated by just four points, while only 32 points separate CER in 11th from bt8 in 18th.

Scruz is the big mover in the nether regions (Matron!), escaping the relegation zone for the first time since Matchweek 12, while BtM drops back into it

The Black Cats remain the big dogs, so to speak, on the naughty step but have had to cede some space to the Bees, leaving Forest and the team whose emblem is a chicken on a basketball perched on the end (Enough with the animal references! Ed)

Your Matchweek 20 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 19: Half-way done

We hit the turn. Nineteen matchweeks run and 19 to go. The 19th brought mixed fortunes. Nine players improved their scores. Among those who did not was our Parisien Prognosticator, who ceded second place to Dr. F. There will be joy in Beantown tonight.

TTG held fourth and is just four points behind second. OM held fifth but is 48 points behind TTG. 

Lonestar spectacularly leapt into sixth. He was in the relegation zone two matchweeks ago. 

He had the most improved score of the week. Everton’s win cut his score by 40 points, whereas it added 30 points on average to everyone else’s. He got a similar, if smaller, boost from Brgthton’s draw.

Steviehyperdee and GSD both slip a place as a result. Uply, another Everton beneficiary, rose three places. CER rose one place to sneak ahead of the Crowd on the tiebreakers.

There was quite a bit of boxing and coxing in the still tightly bunched middle of the pack. Bt8, the Aristocrat, your correspondent and Sancho Panza advanced modestly.

Hertfordshire’s Handsomeest escaped the relegation zone at the expense of Boff. He and Bath are level on points and just four ahead of Scruz.

Sunderland still occupies the bulk of the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 19 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 18: Taking shape

Another week with far more reverses than gains. Only Lonestar, Pangloss and Trev improved their scores. Five players slid back above the 500 points mark.

Brentford’s win and Newcastle’s defeat did most of the damage. The neighbours’ ascent, as one of their fans plaintively put it, to within touching distance of the top half, provided only a modicum of mitigation.

With one week to go to the halfway turn, the top of the field is stretching out, but below them, everyone else is compressing in little clusters.

Dr. F Jnr leads Ollie by only 48 points now, with Dr. F a further 22 points behind. There is then a 32-point gap to TTG. OM, Steviehyperdee and GSD, 50 points adrift of TTG, complete the septet beating the Crowd.

21st Century Gooner, who slipped three places, and Trev, up four, are only a smidgin behind. Yet from CER, up two places to 11th, to Scruz guarding the wooden spoon, there is only 100 points of separation. All still to play for below the salt.

Lonestar was propelled out of the relegation zone by Brighton’s defeat and Fulham’s win. He rose six places and is now one behind Brentford-boosted Pangloss, who was up four. 

That pushed down a distinguished group, comprising the Aristocrat, your correspondent, C100, Sancho Panza, Boff and Hertfordshire’s Handsomest, at least one place, dropping the last into the bottom three.

Sunderland still occupies much of the naughty step, accounting for 131 points in players’ scores on average, but Brentford (63 points) has elbowed its way in ahead of the Barcodes (56 points) and Forest (48 points).

Your Matchweek 18 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 17: Hard sledging

As we approach the halfway point in the GHF Predictathon and the seasonal weather kicks in, the pace is starting to tell. Only Potsticker, Dr. F and Dr. F Jnr improved their scores in Matchweek 17. Everyone else slid back by anywhere from six to 110 points.

The Sunderland and Tottnumb results piled on the pain, aided and abetted by Brentford, Forest, Bournemouth and Leeds. Palace and ‘Pool offered some relief, but nowhere near enough,

As a result, Dr. F Jnr more than tripled his lead over Ollie to 62 points. Dr. F, hurt far less than most by Bournemouth and Forest, moved up three places to third, edging TTG down one. 

OM remained unchanged in fifth. 21st Century Gooner moved ahead of Steviehyperdee, who slid three. bt8 was unchanged, rounding out the elite octet beating the Crowd.

Uply and GSD, however, slipped below the salt and found Potsticker breathing down their necks. Our defending champion was up eight places thanks to doing better than most from the Palace result and a lot better than most from the neighbours and the Brentford results.

Boff, who got hammered by Palace, and BtM, to whom the Cherries did the damage, moved in the opposite direction. They both fell six places, raising by a place those of us in the least memorable reaches of lower-midtable mediocrity.

Meanwhile, Pangloss, hugely boosted by Brentford, took another of his periodic leaps to escape the relegation zone, to which Bath returned.

Sunderland (accounting for 155 points on average) still occupies the bulk of the naughty step, with Forest (48 points) and the neighbours (44 points) hanging off the end.

Your Matchweek 17 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 16: 50 critical points at top and bottom

Every player improved their score by at least 50 points in Matchweek 16. Eight teams led by Liverpool and Palace contributed to the lower scores. Only Sunderland’s win in the Wearside derby weighed in the opposite direction.

However, our Parisien Prognosticator was the 50-point man, held back by the Leeds and Brighton results. That let the Bostonian Boy Wonder slip back into the lead. The Kent Kickass (his choice), who did better than most out of the Liverpool result, maintained third place.

Steviehyperdee and OM flipped positions ahead of Dr. F, but 21st Century Gooner and bt8 moved past GSD. Uply completes the ten beating the Crowd. But only just. On tiebreakers.

Trev now leads the below-average set, ahead of CER, another who did better than most out of the Liverpool result. Hertfordshire’s Handsomest will no doubt be delighted that he has put another place between himself and the Aristocrat, albeit at the expense of your correspondent.

The big mover in the bottom half of the table was C100, who had the most improved score of the week and the only triple-digit gain. That propelled him out of the relegation zone, while dropping Lonestar back into it.

Yet with every player’s score now under 500 for the first time this season and Scruz catching up, it is tight at the bottom. Less than 50 points separate the bottom eight.

Sundeland spread itself out on the naughty step again after beating the Barcodes, leaving Palace a bit less space.

Your Matchweek 16 leaderboard and five-week form guide.

---

Matchweek 15: Change at the top and bottom

Matchweek 15 rattled round with breakneck speed. Scores were mostly little changed. The 63-point average improvement to scores as a result of Sunderland’s defeat, taking them down to ninth in the PL, was almost exactly cancelled out by the small impairments caused by Palace, Liverpool, Everton, Forest, Bournemouth, Chelsea and Leeds.

Yet where there were big changes to players’ scores — Lonestar, TTG, Potsticker and Dr. F Jnr — they had a dramatic impact at both ends of the Predictathon table.

Ollie now leads the pack, with Dr. F Jnr slipping back to second and TTG moving up to third. (That sentence could be written as, Our Parisian Prognosticator now leads the pack, with the Boston Boy Wonder slipping back to second and the Kent… but what appropriately alliterates with Kent? Clairoyant? Curmudgeon? Crackshot, Crackpot? I leave it to you, dear reader, to supply the missing word.)

Behind the trio occupying the medal places lurk OM, Steviehyperdee and Dr. F, followed by a tight bunch comprising a resurgent GSD, 21st Century Gooner, bt8, Uply and Trev, whose threat to sack himself last week if results did not improve was clearly effective as he moved up two places.

That group completes an elevensome beating the Crowd.

The week’s most improved score was Lonestar’s. Thanks to the Sunderland, Everton and Brighton results, he leapt out of the relegation zone — just. He and C100 are level on points, but the Texan shades it on the tiebreakers. Bath, who did better than most out of the Sunderland result, also escaped the bottom three, to which Pangloss returns.

Only 16 points separate Bath and Pangloss, so lots of chopping and changing to come in all likelihood. 

Sunderland has reduced its bad boy quotient to a mere 89 points on average. With Palace now at 74 points, that leaves room on the naughty step for Slot’s shower (61 points), Dyche’s dolts (48) and Moyes mob (40) to join them.

Your Matchweek 15 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 14: Royal chaos after Palace win

Palace’s victory at Turf Moor, which moved the Eagles into fifth place, caused chaos in Matchweek 14. It added an average of 41 points to players’ scores, but the variation was wide — adding 64 points in three cases but improving one insightful player’s score by eight points.

Consequently, there was considerable churn in the rankings. 

Ollie moved up to second, behind Dr F Jnr, who maintained his lead for a second week. OM, sharing the honours for most improved score of the week with Boff, recovered from last week’s setback to move into third. He was less affected than most by Palace’s win and did well out of the Red Mancs, Bournemouth and Everton.

With TTG, an even bigger beneficiary of Everton’s win at Bournemouth than OM, advancing two places into fourth, StevieHyperDee dropped to fifth, hit by both sides of the Bournemouth v Everton result.

A relatively tiny six-point deterioration in his score was sufficient to push 21st Century Gooner down a place, but Dr. F and bt8 moved up through the field to complete the octet beating the Crowd — bt8 cunningly advancing four places with an unchanged score from the previous week.

Uply now leads a tightly bunched group of himself, GSD, Boff and Trev at the head of the below-average set, but after that, the pack is starting to straggle. Potsticker got hammered by the Palace and the Bournemouth v Everton results, but the outcome on the Dorset Coast got Sancho Panza out of the relegation zone and Lonestar back in touch with the pack.

Sunderland still occupies the bulk of the naughty step, costing players an average of 155 points, but Palace (59 points) has muscled its way onto the end.

Your Matchweek 14 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 13: A change at the top

Matchweek 13 brought considerable improvements in scores almost across the board. That was mainly down to Liverpool’s win and Palace’s defeat, with lesser contributions from the Newcastle and Bournemouth results.

Potsticker, Pangloss and Dr. F Jnr all took more than 100 points off their scores. Another eight — Dr. F, Bath, C100, CER, Trev, Sancho Panza, the Aristocrat and TTG — loped at least 75 points off theirs.

That led to some big swings in position up and down the field. At the top, we have a new leader. Dr. F Jnr hits the front, pushing Steviehyperdee into second ahead of Ollie, who held in third. 

Defending champion Potsticker moves up a spectacular 11 places into fourth. 21st Century Gooner and TTG complete the elite sextet beating the Crowd.

In mid-table, BtM, OM and Boff all suffered reverses, but Dr. F and Trev recovered some of the ground they had lost in Matchweek 12. Dr F drew level on points with GSD, but Dino shades it on the tiebreakers.

The middle of the pack remains bunched. Only 64 points separate Ollie in third from Uply in 13th.

In the bottom half, Pangloss rose six places to pull clear of the relegation zone, to which Scruz returned.

The Machems win, taking them to sixth, means they are occupying most of the naughty step, accounting for an average of 155 points in players’ scores. Squeezed on the end are the Barcodes (42 points), Forest (36 points), Brentford (also 36 points) and the Scousers (33 points).

Your Matchweek 13 leaderboard and five-game form guide:

---

Matchweek 12: A great escape or two

With the latest infernal interlull thankfully fading into history, Matchweek 12 brought mixed fortunes for Predictathon players. There were reverses for most, but bt8 and Scruz made spectacular advances.

Sunderland’s defeat, further reducing its altitude, Palace’s victory and Forest’s win at Anfield were the results that had a material impact on players’ scores.

Steveyhyperdee teased out his lead to 46 points as Dr. F Jnr slowed. The chasing pack closed in on the young Bostonian, led by our Parisian prognosticator, who held third, while Hertfordshire’s Handsomest slipped effortlessly into fourth ahead of a surging OM. 

21CG, GSD, TTG and Boff complete a nonet beating the Crowd. It’s a tight-knit group. Only 38 points separate Ollie and Boff.

bt8’s escape from the relegation zone was nothing less than sensational — a triple-digit improvement in his score that lifted him to eleventh as easily as Eze dinks a Spud defence. The NLD, Forest and Palace results served him exceptionally well.

Scruz also broke out from the cellar, moving up four places. He benefited more than most from the Sunderland, Forest and Man U results, and especially the NLD.

There was considerable movement in the lower half of the table. As a result, Pangloss and Sancho Panza returned to accompany Lonestar in the bottom three. 

Slot’s sorry Scousers (costing players an average of 97 points) join the Mackems (now a mere 131 points) on the naughty step, with room left over for Palace (58 points) and the Barcodes (56).

Your Matchweek 12 leaderboard and five-match form guide:

---

Matchweek 11: A shrunken lead and a straggly rear

Yet another interlull hoves into view. Think of it as a welcome water table, Predictathon players.

Matchweek 11 was kind to all but three players’ scores, if not necessarily to placings. The Bournemouth, Villa and Chelsea results improved scores on average more than those of the neighbours, the Barcodes and the Scousers hurt them.

Steveyhyperdee remains in front, but Dr. F Jnr has nearly caught up. A lead that was over 100 points after Matchweek 8 has been reduced by three quarters.

There is a gap between those two and the chasing pack. Ollie, an above-average beneficiary of Villa picking off the Cherries, which led to him having the most improved score of the week, surged to the front of a tightly bunched group consisting of Trev, who dropped back to fourth, TTG, Dr. F and GSD. Just six points separate those four. 

BtM and 21st Century Gooner round out the nonet beating the Crowd.

Uply and a surging OM, who did well out of both sides of the Villa-Bournemouth game, lead those of us who are below average, but behind them, the field is starting to look ragged. 

Potsticker’s impressive drive up the table hit a blip. Only the tiebreakers separate the level pegging Pangloss, Bath and CER in that nether world between mid-table safety and the perils of the relegation scrap.

Meanwhile, Sancho Panza headed for the half-light. A massive assist from the Bournemouth result gave him the second-most-improved score of the week, and propelled him out of the bottom three. bt8, Scruz and Lonestar all sank a place as a result.

The Mackems remain the prime occupants of the naughty step, but Forest, the Barcodes and the Mugsmashers have squeezed onto the end.

Your Matchweek 11 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 10: Taking shape

Another milestone is behind us. We are into double figures of matchweeks. Much as the Premier League’s pecking order is settling, the Predictathon’s peloton is beginning to take shape.

Scores improved across the board. Bournemouth’s defeat was a major contributor, knocking an average of 50 points off scores. The neighbours and ‘Pool chipped away another 21 points apiece. In all, half the clubs improved players’ scores—only four added points on.

Steveyhyperdee is still at the front, but Trev has pared his lead while Dr. F Jnr moves up into third. Those two have put some distance between themselves and GSD and TTG.

BtM slips back to be level pegging on points with Uply, but the Hertfordshire Handsomeness is ahead on the tiebreakers. They lead a tightly packed pursuing group comprising themselves, Dr. F, who moved up three places to get ahead of the Crowd, our Parisian Prognosticator, who had the week’s most improved score, and 21st Century Gooner.

OM rose five places to head the next pack, which stretches back to The Aristorcat in 17th. After that, a gap opens up to CER, who leads the seven-strong tail. Scruz slipped into the relegation zone as bt8 escaped.

Sunderland is still costing players an average of 209 points. Thus, they are the bad boys taking up most of the naughty step. There is still room for Forest (79 points), Bournemouth (56) and the Barcodes (42). No mayhem and murder mapping this week, although the box plot is available under plain cover to anyone who wants it. However, it doesn’t look a lot different from last week.

Your Matchweek 10 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 9: Black Cat mayhem

As we approach the quarter mark of the Predictathon, the pace has slowed. Every player saw their score deteriorate by at least 90 points in Matchweek 9, and some by over 200 points. 

Blame Sunderland, which added an average of 75 points to players’ scores this week, taking the average score players are carrying to 209 points.

Steveyhyperdee continues to front-run. However, by being the least scared by the weekend’s results, Trev moved up through the chasing pack and pared back SHD’s lead by a third.

GSD remained in third, but BtM slipped back to fourth. Dr. F Jnr is breathing down his neck with TTG in close pursuit.

Uply held fast, completing the septet beating the Crowd.

Your correspondent now leads the below-average set. Yet only 64 points separate his ninth place from Pangloss in eighteenth. The Oraculum Oxoniensis was the only player apart from Trev to keep the damage to his score below 100 points, enabling a spectacular leap out of the relegation zone.

Below him, the tail lengthened. bt8 joined Lonestar and Sancho Panza in the relegation zone.

OM’s drink about the Sunderland result murdering his Predictathon score has inspired a bonus chart for this week. 

OM’s Murder & Mayhem Mapping below shows the distribution of players’ scores by club. Many will recognise it as a standard box plot, but as a reminder, the box contains the middle 50% of scores, with the vertical black line indicating the median. The thin lines (‘whiskers’) show the range of the rest of the scores apart from the outliers, which are represented by the dots.

A glance will show you how much murder and mayhem the Black Cats are causing: half of all players are carrying a score between 169 and 256 points, which represents predictions that are between 13 and 16 places off the mark. The least burdened player is weighed down by 81 points, which still represents a prediction nine places off.

Your leaderboard, five-week form guide and bonus chart: 

---

Matchweek 8: A Nor’easter blows through

Matchweek 8 brought mixed fortunes for Predictathon players as some ill-winds blew in from Tyne and Wear. The Sunderland and Newcastle results piled on the points, leaving fewer players with improved scores than with worse ones.

Less badly damaged than most, Steveyhyperdee extended his lead to over 100 points. Behind him, the distant paternal pitter-patter of BtM could be heard. He moved into second place, two points ahead of the level-pegging GSD and Trev. Dino shades it on the tiebreakers by the narrowest possible margin.

Those four opened up a gap on TTG, Dr. F Jnr and Uply, who complete the septet beating the Crowd.

21st Century Gooner heads up a tight top half to the below-average set, comprising Ollie, who advanced four places, OM, your correspondent, Boff, Dr. F and the Aristocrat.

Potsticker, up seven places thanks to Citeh and Villa’s wins, made a spectacular leap out of the relegation zone. That has now sucked in Lonestar, who took as bad a hamering as anyone from the Sunderland win and a uniquely bad one from Everton’s defeat.

Everton’s defeat also helped Pangloss but it did nothing for Sancho Panza, who took over the wooden spoon.

Sunderland and Bournemouth dominate the naughty step, but there is still room for Forest and Geordie Arabia.

Your Matchweek 8 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 7: Scores drop sharply

Big improvements in scores all round in Matchweek 7 as some of the unexpected early high-flyers in the PL lost altitude.

Your correspondent led a group that included BtM, The Aristocrat, Bath, Sancho Panza, Uply, Pangloss, GSD and C100, who improved their scores by 300 points or more. Everyone else was in the 200+ points better-off club, except for Boff and Ollie, who missed out by only two and six points, respectively.

The outcome of Sunderland’s visit to Manchester’s red zone took an average of almost 130 points off players’ scores. Villa and Newcastle’s wins contributed another 50 each, and Palace’s defeat a further 40. Only Bournemouth (+27 points) boosted scores noticeably.

As a result, Steveyhyperdee held his lead for a third successive week. Trev moved into second with TTG, up four places, hard on his heels in third.

BtM soared seven places to fourth and GSD rose three to move into fifth, ahead of Uply, up four, in sixth.

Boff fell back to seventh, but the chasing pack is so tightly bunched that he is closer to Trev than Trev is to SHD. Dr. F Jnr slipped back to eighth. OM and 21st CG rounded out the top ten. The Aristocrat made it an undectet beating the Crowd.

At the other end of the table, Bath climbed out of the relegation zone at the expense of Potsticker, but the bottom three are no longer adrift of the pack and have moved to within touching distance of the next four ahead of them.

Sunderland’s loss at the Old Toilet flushed out some room on the naughty step for Forest and Palace to join Bournemouth and Villa.

Your Matchweek 7 leaderboard and five-week form guide:

---

Matchweek 6: Settling down slowly

The top three slowed their pace in Matchweek 6, but kept their order: Steveyhyperdee in the lead, followed by Boff and Trev.  

Dr F. Jnr was the star performer of the week, reducing his total by 14 points. He and the good O boys, OM and Ollie, eased away from the chasing pack, closing the gap on the leading trio and putting some daylight between themselves and those behind them, all of whom saw the scores worsen.

The Sunderland result alone added almost 50 points to players’ scores on average this week, and those of the Red Mancs, Georgie Arabia and Palace at least another 25 each. Only the Villa and Bournemouth results offered some relief.

There is still a lot of jostling for position in the middle of the pack. With some players, your correspondent included, carrying 225 points for Sunderland, even one change of place in the PL table can make a big difference to scores.

Potsticker escaped the relegation zone, but Bath was dragged back into it. 

Sunderland now takes up the most space on the naughty step, but Newcastle and Palace have joined Villa there.

Your Matchweek 6 leaderboard and five-week form guide: 

---

Matchweek 5: The first form guide of the season

After the heart-stopping finish to Matchweek 5, Steveyhyperdee has expanded his lead, mainly by dint of an unchanged score from Matchweek 4. Everyone else, except for Ollie and Trev, saw their score worsen. 

Nine teams increased players’ scores, with Palace, Leeds, and the Barcodes causing the most damage. The nonet more than offset the benefits from the Everton, Red Mancs, Villa, and Brentford results.

Boff, who experienced the least deterioration of the week 12 points, moved into second place, while Trev (minus 8 points) found himself in third. Lonestar dropped to fourth. BtM and Dino advanced as Uply slipped from third to seventh.

Ollie (minus 42 points, thanks to avoiding the worst of the damage wreaked by Palace, Leeds and the Barcodes, making him the star of the week) moved up from eighteenth to twelfth. 

He is now in the middle of a large pack chasing the top three, stretching from Lonestar in fourth to your correspondent, fourteen places and 106 points back.

At the foot of the table, bt8 and Bath escaped the relegation zone, replaced by Sancho Panza and Potsticker.

The Villains and the Mackems remain the bad boys, adding an average of 149 and 131 points to players’ scores, respectively. Bournemouth (71 points) and Palace (59) are edging onto the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 5 leaderboard and the first form guide of the season:

---

Matchweek 4: Scores start to tumble

Four matchweeks into the Predictathon, the league table and thus players’ scores are starting to normalise. Nonetheless, they remain high, a reminder that it is still early going. 

Every player saw an improvement in their score this week, some substantially so. OM led the way, knocking 318 points off his total from Matchweek 3.  Dr F., Lonestar, Potsticker and Scruz all shed more than 250 points. Impressive.

The Newcastle and Citeh results made the biggest positive difference on average, with the Fulham, Leeds, Burnley, Sunderland and Everton results contributing. The Red Mancs and Bournemouth results were the least helpful.

With the dust settled, Steveyhyperdee had moved into the lead at the front of a sextet who have now broken under 600. Lonestar surged from twelfth to second, ahead of Uply, who moved up one, and Boff, who dropped back to fourth after setting the early pace.

The chasing pack is tightly bunched, led by Trev in seventh, just 30 points ahead of 21st Century Gooner in twelfth. As for the five behind them, they are tighter than white on rice (not White on Rice, obviously). Eight points separate the Crowd in thirteenth from Scruz in seventeenth.

A tail is beginning to show, but it is swinging chaotically. Sancho Panza is only four points ahead of the level-pegging bt8 and Potsticker, who hands off the wooden spoon to Pangloss, and, like Dr F., escapes the relegation zone. The tiebreakers broke as narrowly as can be against bt8, pushing him into the company of Pangloss and a suddenly plunged Bath below the salt. 

Villa and the Black Cats (‘60s rock band?) have the naughty step pretty much to themselves, costing players an average of 174 and 131 points, respectively.

Your Matchweek 4 leaderboard:

---

Matchweek 3: Boff bolts

More wild swings in players’ scores marked Matchweek 3 with the wins for the Red Mancs and Brighton helping players across the board, but none more so than Boff, who leapt out to a near 100-point lead.

Steviehyperdee moved into second, six points ahead of TTG, with Uply slipping out of the leading trio, but only by dint of the tiebreakers.

BTM overtook Aristocrat and Lonestar to move into fifth place, 12 points behind Uply.

Boff’s points improvement was the second-best of the week after Ollie’s. The voyante of the Vendôme received an additional assist from the Forest, Burnley, West Ham and Brentford results, and finds himself in tenth place.

The middle of the pack remains jostle heaven with less than 90 points separating Trev in seventh and bt8 in eighteenth. 

An exact 100-point span covers the bottom six. Pangloss took a battering this week from the Citeh, Toffees, and Villa results and replaced Sancho Panza in the relegation zone.

Villa and Sunderland are taking up the naughty step.

Your Matchweek 3 leaderboard:

---

Matchweek 2: Little meaning in the madness yet

Two down and 36 to go. Matchweek 2 is done and dusted after providing craziness right up to the final minute. But, at this point, it is still more madcap than meaningful. Scores and positions are still swinging around wildly.

Boff has taken an early lead over Uply and TTG. However, the pack hasn’t settled down, as to be expected this early on. There are a couple of bunches of sevens behind the leaders, and some clusters of early stragglers.

Here’s a table showing the change in your score from last week. Minus points are good, but fewer than half of us were in the minus. Lower scores are better, so losing points week over week makes you a winner, at least for the week in question. Lonestar was the star of this week:

Player	Score Change	Player	Score Change
Lonestar	-192	bt8	+26
BtM	-94	Bath	+46
Scruz	-76	Potsticker	+58
Pangloss	-50	SP	+76
Aristocrat	-38	The Crowd	+80
SHD	-20	C100	+92
CER	-18	Trev	+108
GSD	-8	OM	+114
Uply	-4	Dr F.	+134
NBN	-4	21st CG	+158
Boff	+8	Ollie	+220
TTG	+20	Dr F. Jnr	+232

Sunderland and Villa are taking the early turn on the naughty step. Both are adding at least 125 points on average to players’ scores.

Your Matchweek 2 leaderboard:

The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that your position for last week is different from that posted after Matchweek 1. The eagle-eyed Uply observed that the scores had been allocated to players in reverse alphabetical order, not to the responsible player. Appropriate penances have been practised for such slopiness in the scriptorium. [We’ve added the “official” MW01 table below. We’ve also been working on formatting for best readability, so please excuse those pesky differences. — eds.]

---

Matchweek 1: And we are off!
By NBN and TTG

We are underway for the third time. Welcome to The Aristocrat, who joins the game. Welcome back to all of last year’s participants. Game on!

With a record field, we have raised more money (nearly £900!) for Willow than last season—many thanks to everyone for their generosity.

Players strongly predict that this will be our year to lift the title. Only three players are predicting a different PL champion. Two say it will be Liverpool, the other Manchester City.

The Crowd says Liverpool will shade Man City for second, with Chelsea not too distant in fourth.

Players predict Villa, Newcastle, the Red Mancs and the neighbours will be battling it out for the remaining European places, but not threatening the top four.

Brighton and Forest will complete the top ten with Bournemouth, Fulham, Crystal Palace and Everton settled into mid-table safety below them.

Fulham is the team about which players are most uncertain, but Everton and Forest are the two clubs with the widest divergence of predictions, fifth to 16th and sixth to 17th, respectively. Yes, you read that right. One player predicts Everton will finish fifth.

There is almost as wide a spread of predictions for Bournemouth and the neighbours, seventh to 17th and fourth to 14th, respectively.

The spread of predictions for each team is broader than last season, which implies another high-scoring contest and some dramatic week-to-week moves in players’ positions.

Here’s a bonus chart that shows the highest and lowest predictions for each club.

Within those ranges, there are a few big contrarian calls, which will either prove winningly prescient or blow up spectacularly.

Back to the expectations for the bottom end of the table: West Ham will find itself in a no-man’s land between mid-table meh and the relegation scrap that will pit Brentford and Wolverhampton into a Darwinian, although ultimately successful, struggle with the three promoted teams, all of whom are predicted to go straight back down.

Players make us the overwhelming favourite for the FA Cup and a strong favourite for the League Cup. Burnley’s Scott Parker and Brentford’s Keith Andrews are co-favourites to be first for the tin-tack.

The first leaderboard of the season is below. I said at this time last year that it doesn’t mean much at this point: we would have run only the first 1,100 metres if this were an actual marathon. Yet, two of the front three after Match Week 1 ended up on the podium — and two of the bottom three were still there at season’s end.

Portent or coincidence?

---

Predictathon 2025-26

Enjoy the new season playing the Goonerholicsforever Prediction Contest, in aid of the Willow Foundation!

We saw how Potsticker was able to let loose his inner Mystic Meg, out-predict the entire field and using his crystal ball to show us the final Premier League table for the 2024-25 season. Will you be able to call on your inner Edgar Cayce, or even Doris Stokes and supplant Potsticker by the end of 2025-26?

Will someone be able to predict this year’s FA Cup winner? Or even that for the League Cup? 

Bath, BtM, and Steveyhyperdee all hung their insight on the wall correctly predicting which manager would get the tin tack first last season…what’s your bet for who gets their P45 first this season?

As with previous years, you can only find out by entering the this year’s edition of the GHF Predictathon.

Again, the contest’s purpose is twofold. First, to enhance the enjoyment of the upcoming season by providing a degree of light-hearted competitive rivalry as the season progresses. Second, to support Bob Wilson’s Willow Foundation with another generous collective donation. 

The rules of the game are straightforward:

1. The object of the contest is to predict the final 2025-26 Premier League table.

2. The winner will be the player whose predictions are closest to the table at the end of Matchweek 38.

3. This will be determined by a points score using the Difference Squared system. The lowest total score wins (see below for how the scoring works). The reward for winning is a full year’s bragging rights as the bar’s top know-it-all.

4. We shall post weekly updates and a leaderboard here in the Contests tab throughout the season so players can follow their progress. However, the final table at the end of the season determines the contest’s winner, just like the PL itself.

5. If more than one player gets the same score, the tiebreaker will be the most correct predictions. The second tiebreaker will be the most predictions out by one place, then two, and so on.

predictathon25-26_entry_blank

6. Download the entry blank above. Email your completed entry form to ghfpredict@yahoo.com. We must receive your completed entry no later than one hour before the new season kicks off, i.e., by 1900 UK time on Friday, August 15.  No changes to entries or new players are permitted after that deadline.

7. To participate in the contest, contestants are honour-bound to donate to the Willow Foundation (link here) at least £25. This covers entry into the League Positions contest and the three bonus predictions (first manager to get the tin tack, and the winners of the two domestic cups). You can donate more to Willow — we encourage you to do so — but it will not guarantee a higher placing!

8. TTG will confirm with Willow that players are in good standing by the end of Match Week 1. Players who have not donated by then will have 100 points added to Match Week 2, with a further 100 points added for every week of delinquency. If players have not donated their entry fee to Willow by the end of Match Week 4, they will be removed from the competition.

9. In the event of any disputes, TTG’s decision will be final (right or wrong!).

Scoring System

This game will use Difference Squared scoring. This is how it works:

Players’ predictions for each club are awarded points equal to the square of the difference between the club’s predicted and actual place. For example, if a team were predicted to be in sixth place and ended up fourth, the points scored would be 4, i.e., the difference between sixth and fourth is two places, and two times two is four; if a team was predicted to be in fifth place and ended up 15th, the points scored would be 100, i.e., the difference between fifth and 15th is ten places, and ten squared is 100. The worse a prediction, the more the system, by design, penalises it.

Each week, each player’s 20 club scores are then summed. The “winner” of the week is the player with the lowest total that week, but the player with the lowest total relative to the final league table is the winner of the whole contest.

It was a lot of fun to play throughout last season; last year we had 5 players in the top spot, for one week or ten. The last game day was even needed to determine the winner!

Good luck!

TTG & North Bank Ned