And so, to the small bus stop in Fulham. The Arsenal visits Chelsea for Sunday afternoon’s final fixture, which will also conclude Matchweek 13. Going into the weekend, this was a top-of-the-table clash as well — although that is no surprise to the three GHF Predictathoners who have the two teams finishing the season in the same order they occupy now.
Stamford Bridge has not been a daunting trip of late. We have not lost there since August 2018, the last knockings of a dismal run of six defeats in seven league visits. Kepa, David Luiz, Jorginho, Willian and Ollie G all played against us that day, and Petr Cech for us. Retreadalooza.
You have to go back to the Swinging Sixties for a worse run, seven defeats in seven in the days of Peter Bonetti, Charlie Cook, Peter Osgood and Chopper Harris.
Of Mears and men
Our first visit there was in November 1907 for a match in the old First Division, two years after the Football League admitted Chelsea. Stamford Bridge’s owner, Gus Mears, had failed to persuade Sir Henry Norris, then still Fulham’s chairman, to move his team the mile and a half across the borough. So — and here history is a prologue — Mears and his well-heeled, well-connected fellow directors formed a club to play at his stadium. Chelsea remains the only team to join the Football League before playing a competitive game.
The club’s first chairman, Claude Kirby, is believed to have been the anonymous source who told the Sporting Life, ‘behind this concern there is an influential body of gentlemen who will not hesitate to spend whatever is necessary to get together one of the best teams in the country’. Mears’s associate, Jack Parker, travelled across the country to recruit the best available footballers, paying top prices. It was an Edwardian version of Abramovich firing five-pound notes.
The November 1907 match was notable in two other respects. It was the first Football League game between two London clubs, and it set a record attendance for a First Division match. Officially, 68,000 paid to get in. Unofficially, between 70,000 and 80,000 watched the game. Either way, the crowd exceeded the old record of 59,000 for Newcastle v Sunderland in 1905.
We lost 2-1 in a game that started in bright sunshine, but by the end, according to the correspondent of The Weekly Times & Echo, ‘a smoky mist hung over the ground [making it] impossible to see what was happening on the other side of the field, or, in fact, to see what one was writing in the Press seats’. The smoke may have come from the chimneys of nearby pottery kilns, which gave the team one of its early nicknames, the Chinamen.
Maresca
The team was also known as the Buns after the sticky spiced buns first baked in England at the Old Chelsea Bun House, but originating in Hanover. Equally far from home, Italian-born Enzo Maresca began his playing career at the Hawthorns (how about that for a segue?). Now Chelsea’s head coach, he has been granted a privilege that none of his predecessors since Thomas Tuchel have received — a second season of employment. That was a reward for winning last season’s Thursday night fiesta, the UEFA Conference League, and a fourth-placed PL finish, which qualified them for this season’s CL.
It was also a tacit acknowledgement by the ownership — an US consortium led by billionaire asset manager Todd Boehly and private equity firm Clearlake Capital — that, third time lucky, they had found a manager whose playing philosophy style suited the type of players they had been buying by the bushelful since acquiring the club in 2022 — more than £1.5 billion spent on over 50 players across three seasons.
Most of those acquired are better fits for the Pep Guardiola-schooled Maresca’s football than Graham Potter and Mauricio Pochettino’s. Not needing to force square pegs into round holes and having pared his working squad to manageable numbers, Maresca started to implement a clear structure on the team, slowly evolving the inherited 4-2-3-1 last season into a 3-1-3-3 with a Pep-like single pivot midfield diamond, touchline-hugging wingers, a high defensive line and loads of rotations to create overloads.
The opposition
The thrice-capped and occasionally error-prone Spaniard Robert Sanchez will be glove-buttling. His ability to deliver long and short passes is key to Chelsea’s build-up through the centre. However, his footwork blows hot and cold. High-pressing teams that force him to kick with his weaker left foot can wreak havoc.
With Levi Colwill sidelined by long-term injury, the back three will probably comprise Trevoh Chalobah, who was given an England debut by Tuchel in September, the as-lightly-capped Frenchman Wesley Fofana, and another young France international, Malo Gusto. Maresca’s options include Tosin Adarabioyo, Josh Achéampong, and Benoît Badiashile, a young man from Limoges, a place devilishly difficult to incorporate into a limerick. Try it.
The mane of hair beneath which lurks the annoying Marc Cucurella and club captain Reece James will play as the inverting full-backs/wing-backs on either side of Moisés Caicedo, the Ecuador international who will be the single pivot. I shall spare BtM’s nerves by not recounting that Caicedo has amassed a half-century of caps at 24. Maresca’s other top-notch DM, young Belgian international Romeo Lavia, is off-games.
Cucurella and James will push forward, inverting, overlapping and underlapping to join Enzo Fernandez as the forward three of the midfield diamond that forms Chelsea’s secondary line of attack, and, as they like to recover the ball in their opponent’s third, its first line of defence. Expect Caicedo and James to go man-to-man on Declan Rice and Eberechi Eze/Martin Ødegaard as soon as Chelsea lose the ball anywhere.
Maresca says that talisman Cole Palmer, who has missed most of the season with a groin injury and the last two games with a broken toe, is fit to start. If he does, Fernandez and James will likely drop back a row, and Gusto to the bench, to allow Palmer to play as a 10. If he does not, the right-sided forward spot should go to Joao Pedro or the much hyped Brazilian teenager Estêvão.
I fancy Maresca will opt for Pedro Neto over Antony Garancho, Jamie Gittens or the promising Tyrique George on the left, with a brief to negate Jurien Timber, as he did Achraf Hakimi in the Club World Cup final. Good luck with that, given Timber’s form. Liam Diap, acquired from Ipswich in the summer and recently returned from injury, should complete the forward line, unless Maresca prefers to deploy brains over brawn and start Joao Pedro there.
Chelsea’s attack is potent. It has the highest xG in the PL. Oddly, its home XG is lower than its away one.
The Arsenal
Jesus, Havertz, Gabriel, and Gyokeres are unavailable. Trossard is a doubt. In his absence, it will be a toss-up between Martinelli and Mandueke for the left. The same case can be made for either as the impact sub. The big call would be to start MØ8 over Eze. Despite the club releasing a video suggesting otherwise, not quite yet, I suspect. Arteta might have other ideas. Nonetheless:
Raya
Timber, Saliba, Hincapie, Calafiori
Zubimendi, Rice, Eze
Saka, Merino, Madueke
Boehly’s boys in blue come into this game having beaten Burnley last weekend less convincingly than the 2-0 scoreline suggests, and then a 10-man Barca 3-0 in their CL game on Tuesday. That extended their unbeaten run to six games in all competitions since losing at home to Sunderland in the league on October 25. Our unbeaten run is 16. Just saying.
Nonetheless, this will be a challenging match between the two in-form sides in the league. Both are well-managed and play similarly dynamic, shape-shifting football, but their high lines are vulnerable to counterattacks. It is a game that will be contested as much on the touchline as on the pitch.
What will give us the decisive edge, in my view, is our relentless determination to win and, most importantly, the consistency that our hosts are still building. At 23.6 months, they have the youngest squad in the PL, and without Colwill, few natural leaders. We average two years their senior and have leaders all over the pitch. That is what will secure us a 2-1 victory.
Enjoy the game, ‘holics near and far.
An effort to match our last two outstanding performances Ned, thanks to you and the busy monks at Castle Ned. I’ve seen a couple of Chelsea’s games this season and they have been meh in all honesty, some threat going forward but iffy at the back. I expect another defensive master class, and 2-0 to the good guys.
If Leo I doesn’t make it I suppose we might see Ode straight back and Eze wide, if not then I think Gabi M will start over Noni on the left. Either way I think we will have too much for them.
I didn’t realize Gabriel Jesus had come through a closed door friendly in the interlull.
Be nice if he could get his career back on track, even if most are not sure that is with us
any more. Anyway, he and Zin changed the atmosphere round the club when they came and I am sure the Arsenal faithful won’t forget.
Perhaps we could loan him out with MLS in January 😉
Thanks Ned for such a detailed and informative preview. I haven’t seen Chelsea play this season, you paint a clear picture of why they have done well enough to be second on the table.
Last year I think we drew this match, and I hope we would do better this time. The squad, even though not at its full strength, is flying high on the back of two dominant performances. Keeping that momentum would give us a significant edge over these hectic winter weeks. And with players (hopefully) starting to return from injury that momentum would have more fuel to be sustained with.
I agree that your team is the likeliest. However, I myself would like to Gabi Martinelli starting ahead of Calafiori, especially given his defensive work-rate and his ability to be so effective on counterattacks. If Martin is fully fit, Mikel might also bring him back with Eze on the left. But probably unlikely. Will Jesus be on the bench? That would be great to see. I think having a fully fit Jesus in the squad, even if on the bench, gives us a few extra tactical possibilities, and Jesus-Martinelli/Saka combining and interchanging ahead of Martin/Eze opens up different ways of unlocking defenses.
I would like us to return to the not-conceding-goals mode, and a controlled 2-0 to the Arsenal would be perfect.
Come on Arsenal!
As always the monks have earned their flagon of mead. I think your lineup is spot on with the exception of the left wing. I think Martinelli will start. He’s been playing well and I think it’s a big ask for Madueke to start against his former team.
Cheers Ned! Another highly educational preview.
I’ll go for 3-1.
I’m with ecg for the starting left wing.
Also, and Wednesday added to that, I think Noni has generally been more productive on the right so far.
Top notch preview, Ned, the like of which we don’t find anywhere else.
I am fortunate to have a ticket for the game today and very much looking forward to it. I haven’t been to Chelsea to watch The Arsenal since the 90’s, when the away end was an uncovered concrete bowl and the toilet facilities a portacabin that had never been cleaned. Horrible bloody place, and a pig to get to. There are no redeeming features about FC Chelski 2003.
3-1 to the good guys.
There once was a man from Bordeaux
Who thought everybody should know.
He travelled about
And from rooftops would shout
I’m not from Limoges, but Bordeaux.
Piece of piss, Ned.
Incidentally, to be decided over the next week, finally, I should hope, I may be off to Limerick in a couple of weeks.
Bordeaux won in the cup yesterday, 4-3 from 3-0 down at half-time.
As for Limoges, given the historical preview above, surely something about China would have to be composed?
Enjoy, CER!
Ned – another matchless history piece which highlights that being rich, flash bar stewards chucking money around is simply part of their DNA – Did Not Achieve (much).
I was hoping that Palmer would have to have his broken toe amputated so we could see if he is lack toes intolerant 😳
Well played GSD on the limerick challenge ! The first limericks actually used to more or less repeat the first line as the fifth line, making it even easier. For example,
There was a young man from Limoges (first line)
That awkward young man from Limoges (fifth line)
However, I might try to come up with something if time permits.
Trev @ 9. You will find that there is, in fact, a match today.
*gets coat*
Good Palmer pun and I am looking forward to your next limerick.
I’ve taken a tiny bit of poetic license here but it’s topical –
Benoît Badiashile from Limoges,
Is a footballer nobody knows,
His young mate Cole Palmer
A regular self harmer
Has now gone and broken his toes.
Heh, good work, Trev!
Top preview, Ned. The monks deserve an extra ration of mead. I’d replace Madueke with Martinelli but otherwise think you’ve called the likely team, though after his excellent performance against Bayern München, Mosquera may keep his starting place at LCB. We may well see vignettes from returning wounded soldiers if conditions are favourable late in the game. I’ll happily take your predicted 2-1 for the good guys though any kind of victory will be acceptable, huge and vital.
Trev @11. I like it, but it must be noted that the rhyme with ‘Limoges’ and ‘toes’, doesn’t actually scan. Otherwise Ned’s gauntlet would have been far less of a challenge.
I have however, found a workaround that should put us back on track: if you read it in Steve McClaren’s Dutch accent then it’s spot on.
GSD – sure, but “his toes” scans with “Limoges “. Or “histoges”
Anyway if your going to split hairs I’m going to piss off !
COYG. This meto prove this really is a special team that can keep winning against top opposition. Thanks Ned. GSD, I stand on my chair whilst applauding your Limoges limerick. 👏👏👏👏
Another excellent contribution, Ned, with informative historical content married beautifully with detailed, insightful review of our opponent’s strengths, weaknesses and strategies.
This has been a week for statement wins. The Arsenal have managed two, very impressively, in a style that has impressed (mostly) even their sternest critical naysayers. A third would be a wonderful thing for these eyes of mine to behold. I’m heartened by the general positivity in the bar (and the fact that Lavia is off-games) and optimistic that the desired outcome will be forthcoming. I’ll be content with any scoreline which registers one more goal for the Arsenal than the team in blue.
It’s difficult to see our captain starting this game, but I imagine that his, Madueki’s (I think Martinelli will start on the left) and possibly Gyokeres’ availability from the bench as impact subs may be a second-half feature.
Enjoy the game, Holics and go safely in those dangerous parts, CER.
COYG and NLFE
It’s time to prove this really is a special team that can keep winning against top opposition. More than just Eze wonder goals needed today.
Agreed. If pronounced properly the rhyme is all but impossible.
There was a young man of Limoges
Who wished that he lived in Stoke Poges
“How I wish I were now
Nor nor east of Slough”
Said that silly young man from Limogez
GSD not as butterfinged!
Limoges- Stoke Poges – Genius! Reminds me of the 80’s Yuppies renaming Clapham as Clarm, Battersea as B’terseeya and Peckham as Peacham.
All but impossible, but not impossible
There was a young man of Limoges
Who painted his bedroom gamboge
For he was the feller
Who liked sunny yeller
That silly young man of Limoges
GSD’s Dad – gamboge 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thanks for the kind words, all.
GSD@7: That was a devishly sneaky but elegant solution.
Trev@11: Inventive, but the meter is somewhat unconventional for the form. You might get a pass in return for the Palmer pun @9, just as FIFA has suspended part of Cristiano Ronaldo’s three-match red card ban so he won’t miss Portugal’s two opening games at the World Cup.
GD@@19: Limoges and Stoke Poges definitely do not rhyme. End of.
I am flabbergasted by such linguistic creativity in Holic ranks. Chapeau!
I look forward to the team mirroring that creativity at the bus stop.
GD@22: Bravo. Classical form.
Ødegaard, Gyökeres and Jesús walking into the bus stop with the team. Looking good!
A challenging baptism for the previously untried duo of Mosquera and Hincapie. A calm, controlled start will hopefully calm their butterflies. We only need Chel$ki to oblige by enabling that.
What Trev @ 23 and Baff @ 25 said!
Bit worried about our central defence. Not in terms of intrinsic individual qualities, but more the missing automatism. Hoping for what BtM said then.
@22. Well played indeed. Gamboge is stellar.
What a horrible team – utter vermin. Pity the referee isn’t on top of the assault and battery.
Baff knows. Frustrating but I’ll take that point away to this bunch of cheats and thugs.
Tough point. Ten can always be more difficult to beat than eleven. We move on.
How we got six yellows but Cucarella didn’t get a second one is a mystery.
I hadn’t realised that there was this gravitational quirk at Stamford Bridge that means that anything blue falls to the ground exponentially faster and more often than anything else.
Chelsea are dogs. I’m happy with a point from this game. We’ll get 3 points off them at home.
Nutshell, Ollie. Cheats and thugs to a man.
Disgrace of a team. Cheats and thugs since the Abramovich-Mourinho axis. Horrible, horrible club. Cucurella as usual fouling, play acting from minute one.
Chelsea tactics today – do not let this be a football match. Helped by a hopeless referee who failed to control them from the start.
I’m enjoying a very agreeable mental picture of the goings on in Castle Ned at the moment. Ned is cracking the whip over the heads of the monks responsible for defining the weekly status of the Predictathon. Brows are furrowed, fingers are flying over the abacus, the crack of the whip is intensifying, perspiration is evident in beads every where………will Steviehyperdee crumble under the pressure at table top, will the Aristocrat dive further into the depths? The tension is intolerable, the excitement excruciating………
Like others, I will take the point after a tough week.
Good to see Merino come through for us again,.
BtM@37: Serenity reigns in the scriptorium at Castle Ned. The abaci clack with soothing efficiency. The scribes work silently but quickly with practised hands. An illuminated manuscript had already been dispatched to the editors by the time you wrote your post. Both the questions you presciently raised will be answered.
Heh, splendid, Ned!
The GHF Predictathon leaderboard and five-week form guide for Matchweek 13 has been posted. BtM’s questions have been answered — and yes, we have a new leader! You know where to find it….
Ned,
Great writing indeed.
@37 BtM
Love the metaphor
Can anyone explain how, apart from the disgraceful Caicedo, they only had Cucaracha booked, while Arsenal had 6?
CER@43: My question, too, @33. The only answer I can come up with begins with a T and ends in a R.
Ned@44: I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with your answer. Is it… tumor, terror, trainer, tailor…? Help me out here.
I have to watch the game on tv today as I was at the Bus Stop and you see a different game in the ground. But to my eyes, Taylor spoiled the game by not getting a grip early. By the time Cucaracha was booked, he’d already clouted Saka 3 times. Caicedo had already made, to our estimation, 5 bookable fouls, so of course he was emboldened to do what he did. If the referee stamps on these in the first 5 minutes he sets the tone. He’s in charge. As it was for most of the game there didn’t really seem to be anyone in charge, apart from the Chelsea captain.
You’re very brave, CER. Your eyes will suffer, and your blood will boil again.
And indeed, my commentators seemed to say that Taylor was getting his cards out unusually early to take control of the game, but really, that was only to Arsenal players. We got six yellows out of 13 fouls in total, I think.
Personally, I thought he was mostly favouring the home side early on indeed. I mean, even for the red, he was left with no choice with the very obvious decision based on the video, but his initial intention was just yellow.
*kicks ball in pre-assisting anger*
* Narrowly avoids decapitation from blue-clad thug and puts the ball, Foden-like on a sixpence in the box*
Tucks home, wheels away in celebration, thanks CER and gives Taylor the middle finger 😉
Well in Trev🫡
CER @46, I don’t think you need to rewatch that game as you’ve provided a perfect summary of it there. It’ll only make your blood boil, as Ollie observes.
Well in for the half ton, Trev.
>>>>>>>