Are we sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
Last night at the Stadium of Stone, we saw quite possibly the finest exposition yet of Mr. Arteta’s preferred approach to the Beautiful Game. Following a tough away game at the veritable bear pit that is Elland Road, it was the turn of the denizens of the Bus Stop in Fulham to come to N5. This latest rendering of an expensively, randomly, cluelessly assembled bunch of mercenaries came, apparently, with hope of overturning the narrow 1 goal lead we gained from our visit a fortnight ago to their charmless footballing throwback of a ground, requiring us to mix with their equally charmless, Darwin-denyingly regressive supporters. I still feel just a little dirty after the experience.
Somewhat short of time, I shall not, on this occasion, give a blow-by-blow account, but a quick, impressionistic, thumbnail sketch of the evening. The ground was packed and clearly a good number of season ticket holders had eschewed the opportunity to attend, enabling the hordes of fans otherwise reduced to listening to the almost universally appalling tv punditry offered in the UK to attend. They were present, loud and as animated as the regulars, at the risk of appearing condescending. I can give no greater compliment than to say that at times they were as up for it as those all-in, hardy souls who go away. There is no greater praise.
In the first half we ought to have had a penalty when Fofana jumped with Hincapié for a header at the near post from another well-delivered Madueke corner. He clearly led with his arm, which made contact with the ball. Still, PGMOL, so no penalty. From the resulting – incorrectly given corner, Madueke sent in another, which resulted in Hincapié attempting a Sakaesque curler into the top right of Sanchez’s goal, which he did well to push out for a corner on the side where the charmless SW6 hordes were confined. A first-class long pass from back to front by Gabriel almost put in Martinelli who sprinted inside Malo Gusto, turned him and was unlucky to see his shot blocked by the recovering full back. It struck me that Malo Gusto is very nearly a wonderful example of cross language nominative determinism, playing for Chelsea being the height of bad taste. The ill-tempered Argentinian circus dwarf Fernandez had an effort from outside the box which Kepa, clearly bored, decided to punch away entirely unnecessarily rather than catch. It was a pretty cold, wet night so we shall forgive his indulgence. The half ended and an entirely untroubled Arsenal went in for Bovril and Wagon Wheels.
Chelsea came out with renewed gusto – unfortunately for them still at full back – and had a couple of corners which threw up less than half chances, probably the best of which saw the human cockroach shoot from 20 odd yards high wide and, appropriately for him, not very handsome. Chelsea made a couple of changes, bringing on Estevao along with the human Venus Fly Trap that is the perpetually open-mouthed Palmer, but to no avail. On 70, Arsenal brought on Havertz and Trossard to replace Gyökeres and Madueke who had both been tireless in running and fulfilling the roles assigned by the manager, pinning back their men excellently. We quite possibly ought to have had another penalty late on when, capitalising on a slip from Estevao, Eze won the ball well in midfield, drove forward and released Martinelli. The Brazilian attempted to push the ball outside Chalobah on the edge of the box. The defender contacted the ball but then, undoubtedly deliberately, followed through on Martinelli bringing him down. PGMOL, so no penalty. The game was drawing to a close and the media-touted genius that is Rosenior half-heartedly threw his team forward, creating very little in the process. The opposition pumped a hopeless ball into the box which Kepa caught and did the compulsory flop to the floor to waste time, Cue Saliba and Gabriel exulting as if we had won the World Cup, the Derby and the National Lottery, much to the dismay of those of a blue persuasion who hadn’t by this time departed for Godalming and points south. But the fun wasn’t over yet. Despite being well over time, the referee was trying to eke out a final twist to the game. Trossard won a loose ball in midfield and freed up Rice, charging forward in surely what would be our last attack (copyright B. Moore, Friday 26th May 1989). He instinctively hit a curling ball into the void in the middle of the pitch where the Chelsea defence had once been, with a grateful Havertz controlling the ball and running at Sanchez, alone and palely loitering. I’m not sure Keats necessarily had him in mind. Havertz could have played the ball inside to Martinelli, but thought it would be more fun to sit the Chelsea keeper on his backside, and stroke the ball into an empty net. “Aah, the delicious taste of Schadenfreude” was, I’m sure, the thought which ran through the mind of the escapee from Stalag Fulham Road as the net bulged beautifully. Cue that beautiful old hymn “You’ve seen the Arsenal, now feel free to venture home” came forth from the huddled North Bank masses. Alas, there were few if any Chelsea fans in the ground to hear it. Pearls before swine! The referee humourously allowed Chelsea to kick off and immediately blew the whistle. Cacophony. Well, symphony actually. The noise was beautiful. The bar at block 10 was rammed. The first drinks of the year went down rather well. and 21CG and I eventually wended our way home.
Apparently – and according to the BBC, so curb your credulity – Bus Stop FC had 14 efforts at scoring. Me neither! Apparently 2 of these were on target. Me neither! Tonight we saw the finest exposition yet of Arteta controlling a game. The opposition, expensively yet seemingly randomly assembled, had to score. Yet their much-praised latest Boehly Human-Shield of a manager seemed to be very much undecided as to whether he needed ‘to stick or twist on 14’ and as result, Arteta ground his team into the dirt with a fine display of cold, detached, outcome-driven football of which George would have been proud. Much praised in the bought-and-paid-for footballing mainstream media, Rosenior was shown up for the novice he is by a display of professionalism to which, no doubt, he aspires but is as yet nowhere near reaching. Forget the media hype about them. Forget the increasingly desperate media attempts to undermine Arteta’s charges. This Arsenal is the real deal. In what is now the second least important game of our season – the least important now, no matter what the click-bait, apparently professional, journalists say, is the final next month – the manager put out a team intent on controlling the opposition, smothering them and reducing them to a level of footballing impotence which only a stadium-load of Viagra could raise. Rosenior failed to pick up their prescription. Despite playing with 2 centre forwards, they were reduced to a flaccid performance by a well-drilled team, set up with intent and drive. I shall take the metaphor no further. You know where it’s going. This performance was one of purpose, where Arteta manipulated the opposition and reduced them to going round in ever-decreasing circles.
Control.
Superlative, CER.
I’ve nothing to add, you’ve absolutely nailed it.
Although I have to wonder what the image of Florian Wirtz is about? 🤪
Dino@2 – hahahahahaha!
Great report CER
I think that moment of Havertz’s goal was up there with the greatest moments in that stadium. Arshavin’s winner against Barcelona, Reiss Nelson’s last kick of the game winner against Bournemouth and TH14’s return against Leeds would be in the same ballpark. The limbs were incredible, as were the immediate post final whistle celebrations. North London for ever, Waka Waka rang out as virtually everybody stayed to celebrate with the team.
What a night.
Incidently was Laurie in drink 4 of the preview Laurie Laker of MN, leading light of Arsenal America and friend of Faber? A huge welcome, don’t be a stranger.
Thanks CER, cracking report on a very professional performance.
Even greater than usual to be a gooner today!
Cheers CER. Hope nobody will tear us apart again in the final.
Superb report CER. That’s the game I saw.
I’m taking the liberty of reposting an edited version of a late Drink from the preview which sums up what I think may be a significance of last night’s performance and victory:
Reflecting on last night’s defensive masterclass in comparison with that crushing QF which the soon to be anointed Invincibles played against the same opponent way back when and in which Wayne Bridge scored the late decisive goal. Last night, MA8 and his team demonstrated a greater degree of tactical and strategic nous than was displayed by Wenger’s Gunners. On this evidence, I think Mikel may possibly be an even smarter coach than Arsene who rarely shelved his front foot approach and Arsenal often suffered against big teams as a result (the 2005 FA Cup Final was a rare occasion on which he took a conservative approach). Hopefully, Mikel will exceed Arsene’s achievements at the Arsenal.
Last night, Mikel knew that we didn’t have to take any risks to win the tie, had confidence in his defence and, after having the best chances in the game blocked or saved, and having at least one nailed on penalty ignored, the team waited for the opponent to go all in before administering the coup de grace.
Bravo!
Top notch, CER. A read as belle as it is sans merci.
Spot on, CER 👏🏻👏🏻
The Chavs had FOURTEEN attempts on goal ? That must have included putting the ball out for a throw on 🤷♂️
Talking of which, what was the possible rationale in playing Liam Delap as a right winger. He has neither the pace nor trickery for the task. Maybe it was simply to try to add another defender to our injury list. It wasn’t the worst example of him I’ve seen but he would be better directing his attempts to impress the hierarchy by playing football rather than proving he can rough people up.
Very controlled, professional performance by the Arsenal. Chavs properly in their place.
Cracking report, CER! One of your very best efforts (in a long line vintage reports), your “abbreviated” play-by-play served the perfect foil for your rapier-like observations and analogies. Well done, sir!
Countryman100@5, I do, indeed, believe Laurie from the preview was the same as you described. He and the Twin Cities Gooners are doing the Lord’s work building and supporting community in Minneapolis. At last count, they have raised over $15k to support a community besieged by its own government. I hope he becomes a regular to this fine establishment and brings a Northmen contingent with him.
Let us now put the League out of sight!💪🏽
MBMBD
Oh, and a new Tom Curren misssive just dropped:
https://open.substack.com/pub/redstory/p/theres-no-time-for-anything-but-joy?r=zie2&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
MCMBD
Evidently a certain Mancunian pundit kept saying that as long as it stayed 0-0 the crowd would get anxious and transmit that to the team.
Speaking for myself, the only time I was anxious was when Cole Palmer was lining up a free kick just outside our box, one he smashed into the wall. Other that, it was tense, yes, but anxious, no. Chelsea just never looked like scoring.
Trev@14: The best comment on Delap that I read was that he is a decent footballer but Chelsea look so much better when he is not in the team.
This is the shotmap from the game. Chelsea’s xG from open play was 0.25. That is a defence in control.
Spot on C100 @13. Absolutely the only moment of concern which was justified given his record rather than his performance on the night..
Truly excellent report CER .
As I age I become a more nervous supporter and envisaged awful, freakish things happening in the last few minutes . I only knew we’d won when Hincapie won the header , Trossard took over and Rice played a wonderfully timed and directed ball to Havertz who took it beautifully
Looking back it was never a stroll but we were always in control . I wasn’t as positive about Madueke and Gyokeres as you were but I thought most of our lads were excellent .
I watched on ITV but saw the post game summary on Sky as I wanted to see Garry Neville vomit on air . Sadly he didn’t show up to give a final laudatory tribute to Fsvid Brent’s tactical master class
Nobody mentioned that had Mourinho orchestrated the Arsenal performance he would have been cheered to the echo . It was a very well- controlled performance. Rice is a standout for Footballer of the Year
Fine report CER on a vintage defensive performance. TTG, as you mentioned Mourinho I must imagine, disgusting image that it is, that the Specially Despicable One would be salivating at the defensive solidity that Saliba and Gabriel bring to our formerly soft centre. Not to forget the roving Declan Rice to mop up any untidiness that pops up on other areas.
Wonderful stuff, CER.
So, t’will be City in the final. Newcastle woeful.
Let’s do this.
Arsenal were scheduled to play Wolves away in the Premier League on March 21 but will instead be playing the Carabao Cup final that weekend, so their Wolves fixture has been brought forward to be played on Wednesday night, February 18. That night there will be European play-off games, but Arsenal avoided these by finishing top of the Champions League table with a perfect record.
Manchester City also avoided the Champions League play-offs, finishing eighth to automatically reach the knockouts. However, their gameweek 31 opponents, Crystal Palace, finished 10th in the Europa Conference League table, so they have a play-off tie against Zrinjski on February 19, so the fixture cannot be played that midweek.
The Premier League has not yet confirmed the rearranged date of Manchester City at home to Crystal Palace, but it won’t take place on March 21 as previously scheduled.
Arsenal now will play twice in Premier League gameweek 26, Brentford (A) and Wolves (A), with no match in gameweek 31.
Got that?
Thanks CER for a good read of what was a special night for those who were at the match. You described the proceedings perfectly.
No surprises our opponents will be the Cheaty’s – it will be a great opportunity to show everyone we have taken their crown. Meanwhile the boss will need to ensure the players are brought down to earth for Saturdays match – one game at a time – they are all equally important.
I am shocked, shocked to learn that Pep wants the rules changed so the inelligble Marc Guehi can play in the final.
I suppose Rosenior was trying to emulate our ’89 Anfield win by “keeping it tight at the back” but he forgot the “nick a goal” bit. Bizarre going with a back 5 for so long and it played into our hands.
Looking forward to the Final. They are not the City of yore and we should not fear them.
BTW, Ian Curtis was an Man City fan, so we will be singing “Confusion in your eyes, you’ve lost control”.
@12 thanks for the link LG, enjoyed the piece from Tom Curren.
And yes @20 got it, thanks 😃 It might just work in our favour
to get the points on the board earlier than Cheaty though it makes for a
tougher February. Obviously, might being the operative word as it
isn’t easy these days to just grind out win after win.
Adrian Clarke’s breakdown of the Chelsea game:
Pep can do one. Semenya should also be cup tied but isn’t. How can you play for 2 different clubs in the same competition?
All is not well in the land of Saudi Newcastle
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/feb/05/newcastle-united-saudi-vision-bleak-suspicion-unfulfilled-promises
Thanks for the link c100 to Liew’s fine expose on the situation at Geordie Arabia. That is excellent context to the discontent that is descending like impending doom on Tyneside. They must be keeping half an eye on oil prices hoping for a sudden rebound so some of those construction projects mentioned might have a glimmer of hope of coming to fruition or at least the initial signs of shovels being put in the ground. It may not help that the ‘codes got creamed 5-1 in the Carabao Cup semifinal by their big oil rivals Cheaty, but Liew’s article doesn’t mention that instead focusing on the underlying and apparently more weighty causes of concern in the Geordie ranks. Jolly good stuff and thanks for posting.
And thanks Ned for the link @25, Adrian Clark’s aastute analysis of our semifinal win against the curiously timid Chavs who came about as close to making up their first leg deficit as I came to finding a million quid under the table where I watched the game. 🤣
Ødegaard, Saka and Timber all missed training yesterday. So, new and/or continuing roles for Eze, Madueke and Benny Blanco to step up?
C100@27: Thanks for that link. Liew offers a timely reminder that even the intangible value of sports washing remains a rounding error in a petrostate’s national accounts. Worse for the Barcodes is that the club is probably a rounding error within the rounding error. The kingdom’s sportswashing goal is to make Saudi Arabia a home of global sporting events, and there is not much of a role for Newcastle in that. My two cents is that Saudi Arabia is in better shape to weather global oil prices at current levels than Liew suggests, but the reality is that oil revenue will not grow fast enough to develop the non-oil economy at the pace originally intended. The Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) is undergoing what is euphemistically described as a restructuring to reflect that. PIF has upset Cristiano Ronaldo by sticking its oar into the affairs of the domestic clubs it owns, including his, so it gets some bonus points for ruffling up Ronaldo. However, the Saudi finance minister announced a new privatisation strategy a few days ago. I would expect some or all of PIF’s stake in Newcastle United FC to be quietly sold at some point.
Rosenior channels his inner Mourinho:
Arsenal lack of respect behind outburst – Rosenior
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/c70121glzrlo
cer, great piece. very much what i saw, and felt. i *was* nervous the last 10 minutes, only because of PTSD from previous similar game-endings was roiling up. whew!
too bad for joe90 and his miracle glasses that he’s upset we stepped in his half of the field during warmpus. so disrespectful of us…NOT.
one last thing: mike feinberg’s excellent charity gooners v. cancer is in the last three days of a month-long campaign to raise funds to donate to cancer-fighting charities across england and the usa. please consider donating if you know anyone with cancer, have survived it, or know someone who has passed away from it: https://goonersvcancer.com/
Cheers CER!
“I have to speak my truth (well, I don’t really, but I will) I struggle to fight a feeling of disappointment that Arsenal fans are actively assisting bad faith actors (guys who played for our rivals for two decades who are now encouraged to amplify their biases are unlikely to provide good faith commentary). I get slightly irritated that, inside the stadium, we often allow our (understandable) anxiety to act as a further barrier for our players.
But those are my crosses to bear, more rationally I understand that I cannot lecture people on how to feel. I have come to learn that you cannot tell people how to feel. Facts? Sure, let’s actively correct one another. Opinions? Yes, by all means let’s debate. But feelings? Emotions? The things you experience deep in your bile duct? You can’t cheat on that.”
Stillman expresses, far more eloquently and far less vehemently what I was trying to articulate the other day.
Thanks for the kind comments, All.
Ned & Scruz @32 & 33 above- would it be unkind of me to describe Joe90’s ludicrous outburst as merely a sub-Mourinho attempt at media misdirection? It strikes me that it is an awfully convenient way to take the focus off his poor tactical display the other night, the kind of thing that the Portuguese narcissist did all the time. I fully expect Arteta to be quizzed on it by lazy, supine sub-journalists at the press conference today. Equally I expect him to dead-bat it back, letting any resulting media frenzy continue to feed The Clearlake Marionette’s inflated ego, rather in the manner of John Cleese’s waiter to Mr Creosote.
CER@35: A quick scan of the front pages of the sports sections of the red tops sadly suggests that he has been successful.
any stick with which to beat the arsenal, ned, any stick…
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