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On a bitterly cold, blustery November afternoon, a visit by a winless club 5 points adrift at the very bottom of the table could not offer a better opportunity for a restorative Arsenal victory after the Anfield debacle. The last game had taken the wind out of the Arsenal’s sails brutally ending their run of undefeated games and reminded us how far short of the top level we currently stand.  Newcastle United, a serially underachieving team, formerly known for their fans’ love of virtuoso centre forwards but now merely the plaything of Saudi princelets, unveiled their shiny new manager with optimism that his first appearance in their dugout would give them the bounce necessary to begin an ascent to the pinnacle almost reserved for the financially doped. With over a decade since they had won at our place, we had to believe that we could rebound from last week’s disappointment.

Mikel Arteta surprised everyone when he chose to allow Tavares to retain his starting position despite his somewhat less than exemplary outing at Anfield. However, he surprised no-one by replacing Lacazette with Ødegaard in a match in which the Norwegian’s greater mobility might be expected to be more useful than the Frenchman’s strength and battling-skills in the ‘ten’ position.

Arsenal kicked off and early knockings were tentative from both sides as they came to terms with conditions that made ball retention and accurate passing difficult. Five minutes had passed before we had a clear glimpse of attacking intent. Partey fired a direct pass from halfway forward to Ødegaard who quickly delivered a through ball behind the defence towards Auba but his clever pass was cut out. At the other end, Joelinton was looking very lively but the game settled down to Newcastle sitting with ten outfield players deep behind the ball, trying to find Calum Wilson on the break when we lost possession in the crowd scene. As high balls came out of the Newcastle defence Wilson’s physicality was proving a handful for Gabriel and on one occasion we were fortunate to be awarded a free-kick on the edge of our box after our Brazilian fell as Wilson closed in on goal. Sky reported that we had 82% possession in first 10 minutes but we had nothing to show for it and the Newcastle keeper hadn’t faced a shot. Our biggest threat in the first 15 minutes was a Tavares shot from the left that was blocked for a corner.

The narrative for this game was a familiar one and although we were mostly camped on the edge of the Newcastle box we had to remain vigilant at the back. A simple long ball over our lines from Shelvey found Wilson running in behind White who got back to block him before the lino flagged for a marginal offside. When we regained possession at the back, Newcastle’s press was intermittent and then only partial and our central defenders were allowed to stroll forward with the ball out of our half as Newcastle sat deep and invited us forward.

An invitation we accepted. A lovely high ball from Sambi in a deep inside left position found Saka rushing into the 6-yard box on the right but the young starlet couldn’t hit the target with his connection. After a driving run from Tavares on the left, Willock brought down Ødegaard just outside the ‘D’ slightly left of centre. The Norwegian curled the free kick over the wall towards but not far enough into the top corner allowing Dúbravka to leap across his goal and turn it away.

Saka and Tomiyasu were seeing a lot of action on the right and ESR and Tavares were doing likewise on the left but after the first 23 minutes Arsenal had only forced Dúbravka into that solitary save from Ødegaard’s free kick. The Norwegian was drifting across the field from side to side and linking both wings. In contrast Aubameyang had been entirely anonymous. Elegant and intricate though our short passing looked, it was simply too slow to pull the massed ranks of defenders out of shape and allow penetration. Our frustration was illustrated by a high and wide Tavares 25 yarder.

Although we dominated possession, Newcastle remained keen to break out and on 26 minutes a poor clearance by Partey led to a corner that was flicked over our bar by Schär. On 29 minutes, Ramsdale pulled off a good save to turn a long-range, goal-bound shot by Shelvey over the bar after a brisk Newcastle attack. From the cleared corner, Shelvey then struck a low long range shot through traffic straight at Ramsdale which he gathered reasonably easily. Arsenal responded with a Tomiyasu shot that just whistled past their left upright.

After their offensive flurry through Shelvey, Newcastle reverted to massed defence and our most promising attacker Saka faced two players every time he received the ball. Saint-Maximum always backed up his left-back and at 35 minutes brought Saka down at the angle of their box for a free kick from which Dúbravka punched the ball away and took out one of his defenders to provide his defence with a breather.

Suddenly Saka popped up on the left and chipped the ball back to ESR at the edge of the 6-yard box. ESR headed for goal but the keeper leapt across his goal to palm the ball straight to Aubameyang who was standing to his left inside the 6-yard box. Aubameyang’s shot struck the outside of the post when it looked far easier to tap it into the net and that moment pretty much summed up his day. In contrast, Saka looked to be back to his dynamic best and as the half drew towards its final minutes Ritchie was carded for stopping him breaking away on the halfway line. As 4 minutes of added time were announced, White found Tomiyasu overlapping on the right. He struck a first touch cross to the centre of the box which ESR fired firmly towards goal only to see it blocked.

As the first half drew towards a close we seemed to find more space and penetration but still failed to find the target with another Tavares shot sailing well over and a Tomiyasu shot flying wide. These two long-range attempts were separated by a prolonged Newcastle attack that ended when Tomiyasu stretched to make a vital block to cut out Wilson’s pass to the unmarked Ritchie waiting in our box for a clear shot on goal.

We had seen a somewhat frustrating half in which we had clearly been the better team, massively dominated possession but had failed to turn that possession into chances and failed to convert our few chances into goals. However we could easily have found ourselves suckered at the other end but for the key contributions of Ramsdale and Tomiyasu.

HT 0 – 0

Neither side made changes to personnel at half time but Arsenal began with a bit more urgency. A Tomiyasu drive on the right petered out in the Newcastle box. Krafth was then booked for barging Tavares off the ball as he broke forward at pace then rather desperately conceded a corner as the Arsenal player drove into the box but it came to nought.

Five minutes in, a mazy dribble by Saka from the edge of their box from our right allowed him to take a low shot for the far post but Dúbravka saved it at full stretch. From a free kick for a foul on ESR, Saka struck a curling ball low across the six-yard box from the left but only Tomiyasu attempted to reach it but he couldn’t connect even at full stretch. Where was Aubameyang? Just the kind of ball that should be meat and drink to a top striker. But the pressure was building.

An intricate sequence of 16 passeswith movement around the left margins of the Newcastle box between Saka, ESR, Tavares and Sambi ended with Tavares releasing Saka with an exquisite pass to the England international to run into the 6 yard box and strike the ball inside the keeper’s far post. A deserved goal for our best player on the day!

1 – 0 Arsenal, Saka 56

Sadly, two minutes later Saka collapsed to the ground clutching his left hip. Unfortunately, after returning following treatment he collapsed again 2 minutes later. Meanwhile Aubameyang continued his feckless afternoon with a weak punt to Dúbravka after receiving a high a ball on his chest in the Newcastle box. Martinelli then replaced Saka on 63 minutes. Shortly thereafter Murphy and Almirón came on for Ritchie and Joelinton.

Newcastle reverted to the long ball for Wilson to try to get back into the game and screamed for a penalty when Wilson went down alongside Tavares as he ran onto a long ball over our defence. Replays showed shoulder to shoulder contact as both players chased the ball and the referee got the decision right without a slo-mo replay. We immediately went up the other end and Martinelli scored a peach with his second touch on 65 minutes! Tomiyasu chipped the ball into the box as Martinelli ran into the 6-yard box and he ‘feathered it’ (© Martin Keown) past the onrushing keeper into the far side of the net with only his second touch of the ball since coming on. What a prospect that boy is! Surely Aubameyang is nervous?

2 – 0 Arsenal, Martinelli 65

Ramsdale clutched another Shelvey shot from 20 yards as Newcastle responded. ESR then slipped a ball through to Aubameyang but his miserable day continued as the keeper smothered his toe-poke. Arsenal continued to push forward and were nearly caught on the break as Murphy curled a low cross across our goalmouth We then seemed to sit back to let Newcastle show what they could do and everyone in Arsenal colours put in a defensive shift. However, Aubameyang’s misery continued as he was given a yellow card for a needless foul halfway inside our half. At least he made a contribution! He was promptly replaced by Lacazette on 75 minutes.

A lovely curling ball from Tavares breaking down the left found Martinelli running into the right of the opposition box but he sliced his connection. Another breakout saw Lacazette’s shot find the side netting from the left after a Martinelli pass from the opposite side found him running into the box. Ramsdale then caught a good effort from former Gunner Joe Willock at his near post.

Elneny replaced Partey on 84 minutes to add some energy to our midfield. Lacazette then wriggled into the box but the ball was smothered at his feet by Dúbravka. Ramsdale then made a fine save from Almirón who had certainly added spice to the Newcastle attack. Then former Gunner Hayden replaced former Gunner Shelvey on 87 minutes.

Martinelli then charged onto another beautiful through ball from Tomiyasu, ran into the box but was met with a shoulder to his head from a Newcastle stopper. Poleaxed but no pen. After some attention he returned clutching his jaw ruefully. White was the next Arsenal player to be flattened after a Wilson challenge as he attempted to clear another Murphy low ball into our box from the right. As five added minutes were announced, Ramsdale tipped a speculative Fraser cross over his bar and then punched away the resultant corner before the full-time whistle sounded.

FT: 2-0 Arsenal

We had to work hard to beat the bottom team rather than simply giving them the thrashing for which we had all hoped and that might have better reflected the relative league positions. However, all that hard work was finally rewarded with two beautiful goals, a clean sheet and three points. Despite that victory, the Arsenal remain in fifth place as our persistently negative goal difference keeps us behind West Ham. Only a 12 goal deficit for the Spammers against Shitteh at the Etihad on Sunday will reverse those positions and lift us into fourth but they can certainly feel our hot breath on the back of their necks. We are right in the fourth place mix.

Onwards.

Embed from Getty Images

I suppose this preview is the last of its kind; by the time another one comes around the new ownership of Newcastle United will have had their first chance to flex their financial muscle and begin what other clubs have shown to be an inexorable rise up the table once money becomes no object.

I have no desire to dwell on the newest owners in the league, or the lack of regulation that the Fan-Led Review chaired by Tracey Crouch has miraculously uncovered, the best part of two decades since David Dein famously opined that “Roman Abramovich has parked his Russian tank in our front garden and is firing £50 notes at us.”

Part of my reticence is that other, better analysis is available elsewhere. The issues in football have been dissected by people with more time, knowledge and understanding than a daft bloke who takes his name from an eight-foot green dinosaur.

Yet, the stronger part of my desire to avoid the wider debate and focus on the football is that, frankly, the wider debate brings me almost to despair, and I have always tried to enjoy football.

I know, I know, football is not for enjoyment anymore; it is a lightning rod hoisted into the thunderstorm of furious resentment that allows people to ground some of their anger at… well, anything at all really.

However, before I get sucked down a path along which money gazumps morality, World Cups are played in the desert, and the only faintly reassuring familiarity in the entire football setup is that Spurs are still shit…

I would instead like to remember that football is something we do for fun.

And, as I consider that seemingly ever less important point – d’you know what?…

Since the Premier League was formed (kicking off the fiscal insanity we now suffocate in) Newcastle have been one of the most entertaining sides I have watched.

They used to play Liverpool in seven-goal thrillers every bloody season. I like that very much.

Kevin Keegan gave us all great value, especially when he lost his shit in that famous interview. Top stuff; pity Slur Alex came out on top.

If, on the playground, some other little git had already claimed “I’m Ian Wright!”, then I was not averse to claiming “I’m Asprilla!” He wasn’t one of our own, but Alan Smith was not half as glamorous as the mercurial Colombian. I never scored enough headers to claim to be Smudger anyway. And, to be fair, I occasionally picked him over God himself. Heretical, I know, but he had something of the Di Canio, Juninho, or Zola about him. There was always a chance that he might do something magaical.

Even in one of our darkest days as a club, now over a decade ago (that I apologise for bringing up, because I hate being reminded of it too) it had to be sodding Newcastle who came back from four nil down to derail our title challenge.

Not wishing to be outdone by Asprilla, or anyone else, God scored what was officially voted the Greatest Ever Premier League Goal against this lot, putting Dabizas on his arse with an improvised move no-one has replicated before or since and stroking the ball past a keeper whose failure to make a save was a Given. 

Now, it would be fair to say that recent incarnations of Newcastle have not been such a good watch (neither have we, unfortunately). Not that I consider this to be any excuse for some of the treatment these supposedly exemplary fans meted out to Steve Bruce. I have never had strong feelings about him as a manager but in the last eighteen months I have found new respect for his dignity and strength in dealing with the social media abuse aimed at him by fans of his own club (another new football phenomenon that is too dispiriting to muse on right now.)

I cannot imagine what that must have been like for a bloke who has always been a Newcastle fan. If I worked for over three decades to gain the expertise to manage Arsenal, I came in everyday and worked my balls off, and the response I got was everyone spending the whole time telling me I was shit and abusing my family, I might not have handled that situation with the class of Mr. Bruce, who seemed to be in possession of the entire club’s supply of that commodity.

I wonder if it has departed with him?

Nevertheless, I should point out, if it is not too late to avoid coming across all holier-than-thou, that neither can I imagine what Mike Ashley’s tenure did to the dispositions of the Magpies’ supporters. He was a truly terrible owner. So bad, I’d rather have had Kroenke than him, which is saying something.

Anyway, with those preliminary thoughts out of the way, on to the match tomorrow.

The Arsenal

I have not said much about our own team because I have not got much to say.

Ramsdale

Tomi White Gabriel Tierney

Lokonga Partey

Saka Odegaard ESR

Auba

I think it is time for Odegaard to come back in to the starting 11. He is the long-term plan, not Laca, and this could prove a good game to get going again.

Tavares has earned a breather. KT3 should be welcomed back into the side whilst his young understudy has a chance to reflect on an excellent few performances that hopefully will have him feeling much more at home in Red and White.

Apart from that, it picks itself really. I suppose AMN might start in midfield, but I doubt it.

I do not think there is much to add about last week. What mattered from the moment the final whistle blew was the response. The Gaffer has spoken this week about how pleased he was to see players speaking up in dressing room instead of remaining quiet (it appears that Ramsdale has been key in introducing that culture).

I doubt there were major dressings down or recriminations – the issue last week was not a lack of effort – but it is great to have a squad that clears the air, has rigorously high standards, gets upset when they are not met, and makes it very clear to all involved that we have to work harder and get better.

Excellent. I am fully on board. Go and tear the Barcodes a new one.

The Opposition

As ever, a new manager is appointed just in time to face us as his first game in charge (even Covid-19 has conspired to ensure his dugout debut will be against us). They will probably play with energy, as a managerial shake-up, coupled with a huge upswing in the fortunes of the club, are likely to bring a freshness that has, in fairness, been missing of late. Hopefully Joe Willock plays but fails to score. Saint-Maximin is their wild card, their modern-day Asprilla. An exciting player.

Even £40m Joelinton (who makes Pepe look like a bargain) scored last week, so who knows what could happen?

Apart from that, I will wait to see who they field, but I don’t think there will be anything revolutionary from Eddie Howe, or that we need worry about, especially as the personnel in their rather underwhelming squad are, err, rather underwhelming.

The holics’ pound

If Newcastle stay compact and make us play through them, which is exactly what I would expect, then we may be in for a frustrating game. We have not showed ourselves much good at passing through an organised and stubborn defensive setup for a while. That is precisely what I think Eddie Howe will bring to the table, so it will be up to us to deal with it.

There is little value to be had at the bookies, so I will plump for a classic 1-0 to The Arsenal, available at about 8s. 3-0 would be lovely if we start fast and get the bit between our teeth, but at 10s there is only incremental value in backing us to score an extra two goals that form does not yet suggest we will.

However, for those who want something a bit more interesting to get your teeth into, how about a long shot on Ben White to score his first for us? 40/1 might be worth a cheeky squid.

Right, what we need is a win. Just get three points, go into the top four, even if temporarily, and get back in the saddle. It won’t be long before Newcastle are whipping boys no more.

Have a good one, holics.

Courtesy of BATimes.com

Coming into this game, I think there was a real sense of anticipation that this would be the benchmark of just how far the side had progressed or otherwise since that harrowing start to the season back in August. And there was genuine hope given the “injury crisis” Liverpool were supposed to be suffering. Unsurprisingly, when the team was announced most of the sick, lame and lazy had managed to rise, Lazarus-like, from their sick beds. At the same time, they were starting Oxlade-Chamberlain, their equivalent of hitting the panic button and a sign that, while they have a formidable 15-man squad, go much beyond that and there isn’t a lot there.   For our part, the two main worries were injury to Auba and Partey, both of whom started, with Tierney benched to allow Tavares to continue his impressive run in the side.

From the off, Liverpool settled into their possession and pressing-based pattern and really controlled the game. Mane, a man who seems to be competing to take over Raheem Sterling’s mantle as “Most Odious Man in Football” only took a minute to get in his trademark jump at the defender with no intention of winning the ball, a template he was to repeat repeatedly during the game until even the referee had enough of it.  At the same time, for all the possession they enjoyed, Arteta had set up The Arsenal very well, notwithstanding an early run with the ball out of defence from Ben White which resulted in his losing the ball and led to Salah having a shot which went wide. Liverpool were pressing with a ruthless efficiency matched only by that of the Lottery Winners from East Manchester. They persisted with their playing out from the back despite a very good high press from Arsenal. Both of these traits Arteta is clearly trying to inculcate in his side and to be fair for the initial quarter of the game you could see his efforts made flesh.

As time passed however, Liverpool’s grip on the game continued to grow and we found it harder and harder to exert any real control in midfield, with the hitherto hugely impressive Smith-Rowe and Saka at best peripheral and in truth almost invisible. We couldn’t hold on to the ball and found it coming back at us with metronomic regularity. However, proof of our improvement since the chasing in Manchester was that in truth for much of the first half, we really hadn’t been threatened a great deal. Salah, who must be one of the best players in world football now, was being well controlled by Tavares, a considerable achievement for the young man. In the 29th minute, however Liverpool crafted an overload on the right side of midfield with Matip finding Alexander-Arnold in space for just about the first time. His cross was a little high for serial snide fouler Mane whose glanced header came back to the impressive Thiago 12 yards out on the left-hand side of the box. He connected with the ball, not perfectly, on the volley and Ramsdale had to make a smart save low to his right but couldn’t hold on to it, allowing Mane to slide in and shoot. The still-recovering keeper made an excellent stop on the line from the scooped effort of the striker and kept us in the game. His performances continue to be of the highest level.In the 31st minute we had the ball in the net following a turnover from professional makeweight Oxlade-Chamberlain which led to a smart counter-attack with Auba receiving a delicious back heel pass from ESR before squaring the ball for Laca to hammer home. Unfortunately, Auba was clearly offside. It did show though that Arteta’s plan was sound and gave some hope.

Immediately following this, a long ball from the Liverpool keeper, forced by some excellent pressing from our forward players, led to Mane, again, deliberately jumping at Tomiyasu. Arteta had clearly had enough of this serial cheat’s antics and went ballistic at the referee and then Liverpool bench. Some handbags followed with our pocket rocket manager clearly incensed and determined not to be cowed. Good for him. Repeats on tv showed just how spiteful the challenge by Mane was jumping in deliberately with his knee into Tomi’s midriff. Both managers were given a yellow, which was quite right. Predictably, the compulsory Scouse apologist co-commentator Carragher saw nothing in the devious foul. This sparked Liverpool into life and in the 35th minute a cutback from the byeline from Tsimikas was played perfectly into Salah’s path and from 6 yards out he hit a shot which Ramsdale saved excellently low down to his left on the line. His save was made even more impressive by his reactions to scoop the ball off Salah’s feet from the resulting rebound. Really excellent reflexes. The Liverpool pressure by now was incessant. If we could just hold out until half time it would be one heck of an achievement. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. An excellent free kick delivered into the box by Alexander-Arnold found Mane perfectly despite the solid defensive set-up. The pundits were spouting voluble nonsense about how the defensive line was too high, but this is now the way the most top-level coaches prefer to play. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge when you have been outdone by skill and quality.

In the 42nd minute Mane clattered Tomi again after the latter had played the ball, with Tsimikas following through on Saka for good measure. Barely a minute later, Mane finally went into the book for yet another snide, spiteful foul, this time on Ben White who wasn’t even ion the field of play when this nasty piece of work assaulted him. He knew he was in bother and having had a pass for the first 40-odd minutes the referee finally booked him. In truth it could well have been red and falls squarely into the “If that had been Xhaka….” Category.

Coming out for the second half, hopes were still high that we could at least restrict them and hopefully make use of our impressive bench as the game wore in, given that their bench looked very weak. It was not to be. They started very strongly, exactly where they had left off and we managed to self-harm our way to a heavy defeat. I won’t detail the second half performance. It was disappointing but we succumbed to a particularly good side, and we won’t be the last that they administer a beating to.

Conclusions

Much has been made of Arteta’s “trust the process” statement. At first glance you could look at the score and say that there is little evidence of progress. In my opinion, this would be not only wrong but an egregious misreading of where we are. Unlike the first month of the season, Arteta now has his players playing his system. For 40 minutes we managed the threat of one of the best sides in Europe and restricted them to very few attempts on goal. There was a clear plan and structure to the way we lined up. At the same time, what became evident, as if it really needed saying, is that the process is not complete. The “Design” phase is approaching completion with a much healthier culture and attitude now permeating through the club. Much of the flotsam and jetsam which the previous two managers had managed to accumulate has been discarded and the change in quality is apparent for all to see.   We are firmly into the “Build” phase We need to acknowledge that a job like this is a process, as opposed to a destination. It will reach its end point after yet more hard work, both on and off the pitch.  We clearly need to continue to add a few quality players to reach the level of the likes of Citeh, Chelsea and Liverpool. To my mind, this manager must, and I am sure will, be backed by both the owners and the supporters. Or at least those who are not inclined to knee-jerk, self-indulgent, entitled caterwauling every time we suffer a setback.

Onwards and upwards. Come on, you Gunners!

Without lows there would be no highs, and as yet another too long Interlull grinds to a boring halt, we face the adrenalin rush of an away trip to Liverpool. Adrenalin, this time, produced by the possibility that we might actually take something from the game, rather than the dread of another crushing, incompetent defeat.

The last time we won at Anfield our current manager was playing in our midfield, partnering Abou Diaby in what was probably the latter’s best ever game for us – a performance that still lingers in the memory but was sadly not to be repeated, due to the long term effects of the terrible leg break he suffered so early in his Arsenal career. Santi Cazorla helped us that day to a 2-0 win against a Liverpool team that included Luis Suarez, Steven Gerrard and Raheem Sterling. Our own team that day in full was –

Mannone; Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs; Diaby, Arteta; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Podolski; Giroud.

It contained the two men who now run the first team and the academy – almost like somebody knew something ……

Liverpool away is supposed to be one of the games of our season but in recent years it has been spent peeping out in trepidation from behind the sofa as they have repeatedly taken us apart. But hang on, this time, if we pull off the still admittedly unlikely feat of a win, we will go above them in the table.

So what’s changed ? Are they in the throes of a crisis, or are we suddenly just brilliant ? The truth, as ever, lies somewhere in between. If we look back over the last six games, they have drawn with Brentford, Manchester City and Brighton, recorded 5-0 victories away from home against Watford and Manchester United, and lost 2-3 at West Ham.

In the same period we have beaten Tottenham, Aston Villa, Leicester and Watford, while drawing frustratingly with Brighton and Crystal Palace. A win in either of those two games would have us already level with our hosts on 22 points from the first 11 games – a remarkable recovery from our very poor but very difficult start to the season.

That recovery has not only been down to our two headline heroes either. Our summer transfer business is looking better and better by the week. Kieran Tierney should be available again for this game but in his absence, four of our playing back five were added in the summer transfer window.

Aaron Ramsdale looks an inspired signing, Takehiro and Tavares have made excellent starts, as has Ben White in forming with Gabriel our best centre back paring for a long time. Ahead of them, Thomas Partey has looked more like the player we thought we had signed from Atletico Madrid – albeit not by some distance the indestructible one – and has formed a fine partnership with Sambi Lakonga which is more mobile and forward thinking than Granit Xhaka.

Congratulations to Bukayo Saka, Emile Smith-Rowe and Aaron Ramsdale, who all started for England on Monday night in San Marino. A clean sheet for the keeper and a goal each for the other two was a fine return. Yes, it was only San Marino, but you can only beat what’s in front of you, as the cliche goes, and it certainly won’t stop the cheaty, want away bloke from the nasty end of Seven Sisters Road adding his haul to his international total. A haul for which he seriously owes the two fine young men from the nice end of Seven Sisters Road, who provided assists and engineered penalties which he selfishly gobbled up in his quest to be regarded as England’s greatest. Ahem !

These young men, in return, are extremely well looked after and will travel north in the lap of luxury rather than having to drive themselves to Liverpool in their shiny new cars and risk having their sports wheels “borrowed” by the local youth.

Speaking of which, in surprise news, Ferrari fired their entire pit crew yesterday and replaced them with a number of young scousers, in response to a government plea to give more employment opportunities to youngsters.

This move followed a documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a complete set of car wheels in 6 seconds with no special equipment at all, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of specialist high tech tools. It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, at the new crew’s first practice session, not only were they able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had resprayed, re-badged and sold the car to Maclaren for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend in the shower !

One of the youths, Billy, was in class at school one day when the teacher asked “who supports Liverpool ?” Everyone put their hands up except Billy. The teacher asked him who he supported and Billy said “Millwall, sir !” The teacher asked why he supported Millwall if he lived in Liverpool. Billy said “well, my mum is from south London and she supports Millwall, and my dad is from south London and he supports Millwall, so I support Millwall too.” The teacher said “I see, but you can’t just go through life doing everything because your parents do it. For example, what would you do if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a burglar ?” “Well” Billy said, “then I’d support Liverpool like you c*nts !”

Some would doubtless wish to defend the virtues of the scousers, but it can’t just be coincidence that Liverpool has been stripped of its World Heritage Status, as seen here …..

Anyway, the teams.

There have been a number of reports of injuries coming out of Liverpool this week, some complicated by the events of the latest Interlull, some not. The latest information I can find, from a site called LFC Transfer Room, quotes Juergen Klopp as follows –

Sadio Mane has a bruised rib, but is fine. Andy Robertson was thought to be out but apparently “there’s a good chance that he can be involved”. Jordan Henderson is “a little bit more injured than Robbo, but has a chance for the weekend”. On the other hand, Joe Gomez, Naby Keita, James Milner, Roberto Firminho and Curtis Jones are all out.

That’s quite the injury list for Liverpool and in sharp contrast to that, and generally our own injury situation in recent years, Arsenal approach this game with an almost clean bill of health. The only two players unavailable this weekend are Saed Kolasinac, who sustained a nasty ankle injury playing for Bosnia and Herzegovina during the international break, and Granit Xhaka who suffered a medial knee ligament injury at the end of September and is not expected back in full training until January. Quiet at the back !

I would expect Mikel Arteta to continue his minimal change policy of recent weeks and go with the following line up –

Ramsdale;

Takehiro, White, Gabriel, Tierney ;

Smith-Rowe, Lakonga (or AMN), Partey, Saka;

Odegaard (or Lacazette), Aubameyang;

The Holic Pound

Despite the injury news and our proximity in the league table, the bookies don’t seem to think we have that much of a chance. Paddy Power have Liverpool to win at 4/9, the draw at 7/2 and an Arsenal win at 11/2.

Coral are only offering 11/8 for Liverpool to score three or more times against us, 1/2 for a Liverpool win, 18/5 for it to end in a draw, and also 11/2 against an Arsenal victory.

There you go Mikel, stick that on the dressing room wall – team talk done !

Kick off is on Saturday 20 November at 17.30 UK time and is on Sky Sports.

The referee is Michael Oliver, fourth official is Andy Madley, and the VAR will be Chris Kavanagh, who even has an assistant, don’t you know – one Sian Massey-Ellis. I’m sure they are all very, very nice people and hope they read this blog !

That grainy old photograph is of Russian-American 1950s film and stage star, Yul Brynner, most famous for his role in The King And I. He was a life long Liverpool fan and despite his bald, clean shaven look, as Liverpool fans well know, he never wore aftershave in his life.

That’s right – Yul never wore cologne !

Enjoy, ‘Holics !

Danny Rose, winner of the All-England cake eating championships, clatters Lacazette 

Arsenal came into this game off the back of two straight league wins and were enjoying a nine-match unbeaten run in all competitions stretching back to the end of August. Newly promoted Watford had predictably found themselves in a relegation dogfight and had already sacked their manager, replacing him with former Chelsea and Leicester manager, Claudio Ranieri who interestingly had never beaten Arsenal in the premier league. The Gunners knew that they could climb to fifth, three points above “title contenders” Manchester United with victory over the Hornets. However, if previous meetings were anything to go by, this would be far from straightforward for Mikel Arteta’s side. 

There was a very positive atmosphere around the ground at kick off, due to our upturn in both performances and results and that seemed to transmit to the pitch as Arsenal once again started fast and on the front foot. We thought we had the lead after nine minutes after Ainsley Maitland Niles, filling in for the injured Thomas Partey, played an incisive through ball to Lacazette, splitting the Watford backline. The Frenchman swivelled and shot but his effort was well saved by Ben Foster, who seemingly always plays a blinder against us, but it went only as far as Aubameyang whose poor touch fortuitously found its way to Saka to calmly slot the ball home. But wait! The replays showed that while Saka was behind the final Watford defender, he was beyond the ‘keeper when Aubameyang mis-played the ball to him, therefore VAR correctly disallowed the goal. 0-0.

The Gunners didn’t let that stop their flow. Arsenal continued to dominate possession and Lokonga had one or two long range efforts. Then after thirty-five minutes Arsenal earned a penalty and a golden chance to take the lead when Lacazette was scythed down by Tottenham reject Danny Rose following an aerial ‘duel’. Aubameyang stepped up to take it. He struck the ball well enough but unfortunately Foster guessed correctly and dived to his right to make an impressive save and there was to be no rebound for the skipper as there was in the win over Villa. The Watford fans celebrated as if they had scored. Watford then had a rare sniff of goal when Lokonga was robbed of possession and the Watford attacker’s shot was deflected wide by Benjamin White. At the other end we nearly scored when Gabriel rose highest for a corner and the Brazilian saw his header well saved again by the legs of the impressive Foster.

Half time. A disallowed goal, a missed penalty but no goals at the break.

The second half began in a similar vein with Arsenal dictating the play with lots of possession. The home crowd remained supportive, positive and confident; they sensed a goal was inevitable. Lokonga saw another effort gathered by Foster and then the inevitable goal arrived. As Benjamin White surged out of defence yet again, he was tackled just outside the area, but the ball fell to Emile Smith Rowe who stroked it home beautifully.

1-0 to The Arsenal.

Carnage ensued all around the Emirates. The home fans were delighted, Danny Rose was raging about something, possibly because he finally realised, he’s not as good as he thinks he is, but the Gunners took a deserved lead. How would Watford react? Not very well was the answer as the home side continued to dominate. Lacazette was replaced by Martin Ødegaard and the Norwegian almost made an instant impact. Saka fed him on the right-hand side of the box, he jinked it past a defender, onto his weaker right foot, and his shot went past the keeper and was clearly going in, before Aubameyang, understandably keen to make up for his penalty miss, rather unnecessarily prodded the ball over the line. He was clearly in an offside position and the goal was, once again, correctly ruled out. Ødegaard put his head in his hands as did all the Arsenal fans. Still only 1-0. 

Still only 1-0 indeed. As the game approached its final stages Watford realised they needed to attack if they were going to get anything out the game. There was one hairy moment when a long ball was pumped up towards the lively Josh King, who rounded Ramsdale, who was a mere spectator up to this point. Thankfully the angle was too tight as the Norwegian hit the side netting as he tried to squeeze in an equaliser. Then in the 88th minute the game was effectively won when the once again impressive Nuno Tavares embarked on another mazy dribble and was brought down by Juraj Kucka. The Slovakian defender had already been booked and the referee had no choice but to show him a second yellow card as the Hornets ended the game with ten men.

There was still time for Lokonga to have another stinging effort but at full time it was the Hornets who had a stinging sensation in their stomachs as they were consigned to a seventh defeat of the season leaving them hovering precariously above the relegation zone on ten points. The Gunners have double that tally on twenty points with this sixth win in eight league games taking them up to fifth, only two points behind Liverpool in fourth whom we visit next after the international break on the other side of England’s blockbuster clash with the 210thbest team in the world, San Marino. What an enticing encounter that promises to be. I digress.

For Arsenal it was another win and another clean sheet and three very important points as we remain well and truly in the hunt for a place in the top four and the holy grail of qualification for the Champions League.

COYG!

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