Goonerholics Forever

With the greatest respect, as always, to the White & Red Rose opposition beaten in our opening two games of the season our first serious test of this fledgling season comes at Anfield this Sunday. We all know it’s necessary to take out the trash effectively to win this league, but Liverpool are a decent side, they possess a very dangerous attack and were entirely deserved title-winners last season. A tough game awaits and there is much talk in the press of our not having won at Anfield since 2012 (though much less of our not having lost to any of the so-called Big 6 in the league since April 2023, a quite remarkable run) and whilst it will not be in any way conclusive should either side win, it is also true that an away win would be a mighty fine boost for Mikel and his newly revamped Merry Men. And talking of newly revamped……… 

Transfer News

IN

The latest acquisition by Andrea “he buys who he wants” Berta was confirmed by our favourite ITK journo, Mr Ornstein, last night.  It has truly been a divine summer – ‘It’s Raining Men’ is just about right – and our latest ‘Holic warm welcome is to Piero Hincapie, once of Leverkusen & Ecuador but for this season at least, and possibly several more, our first Ecuadorian Gooner [you’re just guessing that aren’t you? Ed.]. The deal has been described as a season-long loan with an option to buy for 52m in total. It is unwise to speculate on the structure of a deal when you have no information but I am assuming it is related to a desire to keep the costs off the books until next season rather than any doubts about Hincapie as such. He will provide more competition / depth on that left-side of the defence for Big Gabby, Cala and MLS I imagine. One thing I am sure of is that even with the inevitable injuries it is going to be a mighty struggle to get in and stay in this Arsenal side. There will be rotation of course but even so the competition is now the fiercest that I can remember. 

OUTS

With the transfer window closing shortly, the narrative in the press has recently been around the fact that there have been many transfers in and no transfers out this summer – conveniently ignoring the actual departures of KT3, Partey, Jorginho and Tomi of course as well as the loan ends for Sterling and Neto. We had an opportunity to replace those six players in the squad and take a significant step forward in quality and we have taken it and then some. Of course there are the usual laments of Why, Oh Why Can’t Arsenal Sell Players? etc etc ad tedium nauseam, which for those of you whose Latin is a little rusty means “until OM is sick and tired of it” [er…. No, not exactly, Ed.].  However, it is also fair to say that the club is keen to sell several of the current fringe – Kiwior on loan to Porto for ‹25m with an obligation (not option 😊) to buy and Zinny to Marseille are the latest stories. Additionally, I think it is no secret we would like to move Reiss Nelson, Sambi and Vieira to pastures new. Much to be done and little time to do it. But if Mr Berta is light enough on his feet to get deals done for those five players then our squad will be around 24 plus Max Dowman.  That seems about the right number in these new and wondrous times. One not leaving according to Mikel is Gabriel Martinelli, who is “super important” for the future. Or “very, very, very important” as I also found reported. I have decided to take that statement at face value – always risky in football! One confirmed loan announced by the club was Ismael Kabia, fairly regular on the bench last season with a solitary pitch appearance against Bolton in the Carabao. The best of luck to Ismael for his season-long sojourn to Shrewsbury Town in League Two. I cannot tell you much about Shrewsbury I’m afraid, though I did once go on holiday to Brittany with a girl from Shrewsbury and she said it was a nice little town.  On then to the walking wounded……..

Injury News

The little flies in our 6-point ointment to start the season have undoubtedly been injuries. MA, not unreasonably, was as vague as ever on injury news and it is not always easy these days to get clear information even if you’re on the very short list of journalists in the know at The Arsenal but for what it’s worth the latest news seems to be……

Kai Havertz – probably back mid-November all being well

Bukayo Saka – probably good to go after the interlull, not available at Anfield

Martin Ødegaard, Ben White & Christian Nørgaard are all doubtful.  They do sometimes play of course in these situations but, like Arne Slot, I hope, I have no idea of the likelihood and haven’t considered them for the XI below

Leo Trossard – No mention, but also rumoured to be carrying a knock

Gabriel Jesús – running around, but no estimated return date

What’s our starting XI then?

Fortunately, we have avoided the 2^nd round of the Carabao Cup. Sorry, but I have to digress for some gentle mockery at this point – Manure renaissance my arse hahahaha! Amorim reportedly hates his players, and yes, he means you Ratface and your crimbo chum Hairy McGrievousBodilyHarm. Don’t worry Reuben you’re not alone, no else likes them either mate! Anyway, we have had a full week to work together and prepare for this game (as have Liverpool). Does that full week mean a start for Eberechi? Given our injury situation there will likely need to be at least two changes to the XI that started at home to Leeds last weekend and I think that makes it more probable that we will see him on the bench for this one. 

Raya

Timber Saliba Gabriel Lewis-Skelly

Zubi Nwaneri Rice

Madueke Gyökeres Martinelli

Just my guess of course but I think Eze will be kept back for the 2^nd half if needed and Gabi M preferred to start in what may be our toughest away game of the season. I also believe MLS to be a better match-up with Salah on the right than Cala. Of course, Mikel may decide to stick with a defence that has not let a goal in for about 200 minutes so far this season and proven a significant set-piece threat, an area we may be able to exploit again this week. Whoever plays let`s hope that clean sheet is about 300 minutes by the end of the game!

The Opposition

I am sure you have read about Liverpool’s attacking reinforcements and their bright start to the season. Fortunately, they have not yet signed Isak but there is no doubt that Ekitike, Salah, Gakpo, Wirtz et al represent a serious threat to any defence in the world and we are certainly going to have our work cut out to maintain that classically shaped 0 in our goals against column. However, there has also been some encouragement from Liverpool’s defensive commitment – or lack of it – in both pre-season and the first two league games. Konate has looked wobbly, Van Dijk clay-footed, and Kerkez weak to my own eyes. It certainly doesn’t look like a defence that will keep us out in open play or at set pieces for 90 minutes. So far this season Liverpool have started with the above-mentioned front four, with Curtis Jones and Gravenberch behind them in midfield last week. However, it seems that McAllister, who was off games last week, is fit again and likely to return. Frimpong, their new right-back was also out last week and will according to reports be out again this time, Szoboszlai deputised, out of position, at Newcastle last week but I wonder if Slot will continue that experiment as it didn’t look too good to my untutored eye. Whichever square peg is inserted, it is an area we can exploit.  Ideally, we can get our wingers in behind and running at VVD / Konate, in particular an on-form Madueke will be a serious problem for them. If Noni can get enough defenders committed to stopping him it should enable Gyökeres / Ethan to pick a pocket or two.  I am sure Mikel knows full well how they will play and how well Slot has got them scrapping until the end – when asked what this team needs to do that other Arsenal sides haven’t since our last win 2012 he replied “play better”. Sound advice that.

The Score

I had wanted to talk about our Carabao Cup draw (away at Port Vale) and our CL octet of opponents but the prolific Mr Berta put paid to that idea! In the circumstances I will have to leave those largely favourable draws to another day and come without further ado to a forecast. Who will triumph in this 245^th meeting of the two sides? Will Liverpool record their first league win against us since 2022? Will our net remain virginal? Can we exploit their defence? The Arsenal, No, Yes and Yes is my bet – 2-0 to The Arsenal on Merseyside. What more is there to be said? Oh yes, goals for Viktor & Big Gabby.

It’s a big game folks, a pleasure to be in it and it’s only the first of many this season I suspect. I hope you will all enjoy it wherever you may be. 

And so to the Stadium of Stone for the first time this season, to welcome newly promoted Leeds United for Saturday’s early evening kick-off.

‘Holics of a certain age will wince at memories of encounters with Don Revie’s ‘Dirty’ Leeds in the early 1970s. What those of the Scottish persuasion call a proper stramash was never more than a Bremner, Giles, Hunter, Charlton, Cooper, Reaney, Lorrimer, Jones, Clarke or Gray tackle away, as they fought us — I choose the verb advisedly — to be English football’s top dog.

Recounting the history of Leeds United and its predecessor, Leeds City, can wait until the game at Elland Road in January. Suffice it to say that the club spent 16 seasons — 16 seasons with a fair degree of turbulence off the field — out of the top flight until the high-octane Marcelo Bielsa took the team back to the Premier League for the 2020-21 season. 

He kept it there for one campaign, but was sacked in the February of his second, replaced by Jesse Marsch, who kept it up by a whisker. Marsch was fired the following February, and his successor, Javi Gracia, in May. The old walrus himself, Sam Allardyce, oversaw the last knockings before relegation.

Daniel Farke, who had taken Norwich up from the Championship twice and back down once, was appointed on July 4 2023, a few days before Leeds became fully controlled by 49ers Enterprises. That is the venture capital arm of the NFL’s San Francisco 49ers, which is owned by scions of Edward DeBartolo, an Ohio real estate developer who was the progenitor of the post-World War 2 suburban shopping mall. 

49ers Enterprises, which includes Glasgow Rangers in its portfolio, first acquired a minority stake in Leeds in 2018. Like many US owners of British football clubs, it has taken in minority investors. The ownership consortium now includes several prominent US basketball players and golfers, including Jordon Spieth, and Red Bull, now also Leeds’ shirt sponsor. RB’s Global Sporting Director, Jurgen Klopp, presumably has some management involvement with the club. 

Perhaps that is why Farke switched to Klopp’s favoured 4-3-3 from his (Farke’s) habitual 4-2-3-1 for last Monday’s game against Everton (OK, that was an entirely fanciful segue). Nonetheless, Leeds won on its return to the PL 1-0 with a dodgy penalty, having otherwise failed to turn majority possession into goals. 

Your matchday trivia: the penalty scorer, Lukas Nmecha, was the first Leeds player to score a penalty on his debut since Percy Whipp against West Ham in 1922, although Nmecha didn’t match Whipp in making it part of a hat-trick.

Daniel Farke

Farke spent his playing career in the lower reaches of German football, scoring 76 goals in 109 matches, mainly for his local team, SV Lippstadt, where he also started his managerial career before moving down the road to coach Borussia Dortmund’s reserves. 

He went from there to Norwich, where, as well as overseeing two promotions and one relegation in four seasons, he set the unwanted record of losing the most Premier League games in succession (15). Russia’s invasion of Ukraine aborted his subsequent appointment at Krasnodar without managing a game. He returned to Germany for a season with Borussia Monchengladbach, whence Elland Road.

Saturday will be Farke’s 51st PL match. He has won just seven, the lowest win rate of any manager to oversee at least 50 PL games.

The opposition

Despite losing only one of their final 28 Championship matches last season, Leeds have signed nine new players. All are between the ages of 25 and 28, and add strength, size and experience. One is Brazilian Lucas Perri, who arrived from Lyon to replace the talented but error-prone young Frenchman Illan Meslier as senior glove butler. Perri has been called up by his national squad but not won a cap. Against Everton last Monday, his footwork suggested he may be vulnerable to aggressive pressing.

In front of him, the starting full-backs will likely be Gabriel Gudmundsson, a Swedish international, and Reading-born Jayden Bogle. Both are quick. strong and like to push forward. Both looked useful in the first half against Everton, when Leeds overloaded the midfield and dominated possession. However, once Moyes reset after half-time and got service to Everton’s wingers, the pair looked less solid defensively. Farke said in his pre-match press conference that he is looking for reinforcements.

Pascal Struijk, a Belgian with three Dutch U-17 caps and Indonesian eligibility, and a standout last season in the Championship, will likely start at left centre-back alongside Welsh international and ex-Spud Joe Rodon or Slovenian international Jaka Bijol, bought from Udinese in the summer to add Serie A defensive nous, and could make his PL debut.

Ao Tanaka, club captain Ethan Ampadu, another of Leeds’ Welsh internationals, and Anton Stach, another summer arrival, from TSG Hoffenheim, started the Everton game in midfield. A lot of Leeds’ play went through the lively-looking Japanese international, who seems a bargain at £4 million from Fortuna Düsseldorf last summer. 

One of Moyes’s lumpen proletariat inflicted an MCL injury on Ampadu, who will be out until at least the next interlull (unbelievably only a few weeks away). Sean Longstaff, who arrived from Newcastle this summer, may get his first start after coming on as a substitute against Everton. Bulgarian international Ilia Gruev, who came on when Ampadu went off, is another option.

Like Ampadu, Stach, who was a member of Germany’s team at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics and is the son of a well-known German TV sports broadcaster, Matthias Stach, can also play at centre back, and tends to lie deeper than Tanaka. Regardless, Arteta is unlikely to give Leeds’ midfield the space Everton allowed them to make hay in the first half.

Farke is spoiled for choice when it comes to wingers, although he says he would like a couple more. The young, pint-sized Piedmontese-born Wilfried Gnonto, who has 17 Italy U-21 caps, and even shorter Dan James, who has more than three times as many full caps for Wales despite growing up only 50 miles from Leeds, started against Everton. They will face competition for their places from Jack Harrison, recently returned from a loan at Everton, and Noah Okafor, newly bought from AC Milan. Okafor, who can play across the front line, arrived this week but has been registered for Saturday’s game.

Leeds picked up Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Nmecha this summer on free transfers after they left Everton and Wolfsburg, respectively. They will share the No. 9 responsibilities with Joel Piroe, the Dutchman who was Leeds’ top scorer in the Championship last season with 19 goals and seven assists. Fan favourite Patrick Bamford has fallen out of favour.

Whether Farke can strike the right balance in using the England international, the German international and Piroe, who was an ever-present last season, and whether the Dutchman finds PL defences as porous as those in the Championship, will go a long way to determining whether Leeds stay up or go straight back down — as 17 Predictathon players expect.

The Arsenal

Havertz’s wounded knee returns us to familiar ground: starting with the injury news. In addition to the German, Nørgaard is unavailable. Jesus won’t be back before late November. Benny Bianco is 50/50. Timber’s workload needs to be managed.

My two cents are that Arteta will start much the same team as against the Red Mancs, as he looks to build cohesion. Thus:

Raya
Timber, Saliba, Gabriel, Calafiori
Ødegaard, Zubimendi, Rice
Saka, Gyokeres, Martinelli.

Bench: A strong one. 

Cristhian Mosquera could make his debut, given the lack of a right back who can last 90 minutes. If our captain plays, he will become the 118th player to make 200 appearances for the club.

The Emirates faithful will want to see the first home game of the season won in style. It is a game we should win. The PL table, which shows the two sides in joint sixth with identical records, belies the gulf in quality. 

The gentlemen of the turf have us firm favourites, and offer relatively miserly odds on 3-0 and 4-0 home wins. Either score would suffice. I would happily take the scoreline from Leeds’ first visit to Highbury in 1924 with Gyokeres reprising the Jimmy Brain role of scoring four (one from a cross, one 25-yard screamer, one breakaway and one header) in a 6-1 win. It will likely be much closer. Most of all, we want to be on six points at the end of the evening. What do points mean? Points mean prizes.

Enjoy the game, ‘holics near and far.

Welcome Back!!

A very warm welcome back to one and all as this weekend sees The Mighty Arsenal set out once more on that ol’ Oregon Premier League Title trail. It’s a familiar trail that has yielded up the ultimate reward 13 times in our storied past, but seen us fall just short on our last three title tilts. Is No 14 on the way? Well, just for those of a superstitious nature… the last time we were 2nd three seasons running we won the double the very next season. That was of course at the turn of the 21^st century under the legend that was, the inimitable Arsene Wenger. Can Mikel Arteta, the legend that will be, and his newly improved merry men emulate that oh so enjoyable season? Yes, we can! 

A word from our Leader and a word on our Captain

Or at least that is what I think and more importantly what Mikel thinks. When asked if we have the potential to win he responded: 

“Yes, especially the consistency that we’ve shown in the last three years. The margins, we know how small they are, we know the competition as well has increased the level, with recruitment, with another year together and we’re going to have to win” 

Exactly MA and what I would expect our leader to say. Talking of leaders, the other interesting thing to come up in the presser, for me, was the confirmation of Martin Ødegaard as captain again for this season. According to Mikel on the Arsenal.com site:  

“I asked them to vote for the captain and I got the result yesterday. By a mile, by a big, big 100 marks, everybody’s choosing the same person, which is Martin Ødegaard, which is the most clear sign that you can have, how they feel about who has to be their captain to defend, improve and win the matches that we want to win”  

I did wonder why we would even have such a vote but the press were actually useful and asked just that question!Apparently,one driver for having the vote was that a few experienced leaders had moved on and Mikel wanted to see who the team and staff thought of as leaders now. It is certainly encouraging to see Martin held in such regard especially after what was seen as a challenging season for him personally but anyway with vocal players like Big Gabi, Declan, Kai and now I imagine the ex-Brentford captain I think we are well supplied with leadership. Of course, Nørgaard may not be a regular starter with Zubi having begun his career so smoothly to date but I do think his experience will be very useful in the squad and particularly as a closer over the last 10-15 minutes of games we are leading. We have the manager, we have the leadership on the pitch and now we have the squad, I don’t know about you but I like our chances this season. 

Our XI

On then to our first game of the season, a once testing away trip to Old Toilet Trafford has become somewhat less daunting of late as a dense and pleasingly persistent miasma of failure has hung heavy over the little Manures. We will certainly be hoping to add to the gloom by taking all three points as they are exactly the sort of mediocre mid-table shower that we should be winning against home and away. 

But who will start? I think the who may be easier this week than in weeks to come as the starting XI was largely outlined by Mikel himself last week in the win over Bilbao. Last season the XI that started against Lyon in the Emirates Cup was the same XI that started the first game of the season against Wolves. I see no reason to believe, given the fitness of all concerned, that Mikel will not do the same again this season. That leaves us with the XI as below 

Raya

Timber Saliba Gabriel Calafiori

Zubi, Rice

Saka, Øde, Gabi M

Viktor

Thanks to the efforts of Mr Berta and friends, we now have a vastly stronger bench to back them up to a degree that very good players will not even be substitutes. No doubt some players will be moving on in the next few weeks and, once they do, I think we will hopefully have the numbers and balance of youth and experience about right for this season.  

What’s new in 25/26? 

As TTG and Bath have already covered our new arrivals very well in the last couple of posts I won’t go into any detail except to say, “Welcome to The Arsenal…….now win everything!”

Sunderland, Burnley and Leeds are back. In general, I feel it’s not great to see the newly promoted sides go straight back down but I am willing to make an exception in the case of Leeds. Along with the change of ground for Everton, it will make for several new treks north for our away support but they appear a hardy and cheerful bunch and no doubt they will be well up for it. 

There have been the usual handful of rule changes and a new campaign announced by everyone’s favourite panto villain Howard ‘Wicked’ Webb. The new campaign, driven by input from the clubs, is that referees / VAR will look to punish excessive grappling / blatant obstruction at set pieces more this season. ‘Wicked’ assures us this isn’t the usual August / September thing (OH YES IT IS!) and will be implemented across the season and will probably cause an overall increase in the number of penalties by the end of the season. In theory, and given consistent application, this should favour us of course as we have more offensive than defensive set-pieces. Hahahahaha, I must be off now to my Dreamworld home in SweetCandyFloss Lane. 

Two of the rule changes relate to giving the keepers 8 seconds to release the ball once they have it to hand and awarding a corner against them if they tarry too long. Referees will apparently warn the keeper in advance of a 5 second countdown. A keeper who is calm under pressure will be handier than ever. Another change will be bookings for players other than the captain who speak to or more likely rant at the referee in an untoward manner. Though these rules will no doubt provoke much disgruntlement once the PGMoL get their clumsy, inconsistent little hands on them I personally like the reasoning. Keeping the game moving and having respect for officials are no-brainers to me – and I hope that Mikel has ensured our players are well-briefed so we at least have a fighting chance as the hordes of ignorant barbarians pore over the hill tv review screen. 

The Opposition

This review is already, I must admit, too long and so I have decided to bullet point a brief message of encouragement and advice to our friends in Surrey Manchester this time as honestly there is little new to say about them…………

• To The Glazers, Edwards the former Sporting Director, and now Sir Tax Dodger – thanks for your enduring failure since Red Nose left. I salute you. 

• To the new signings – Sesko, Mbeumo et al. Run, you fools. Run!

• To the manager Ruben Amorim, a kind word – given the poverty of his defence, I seriously considered him for the First Tin Tack nomination but I think he is better than little Scottie Parker.

In other words, rubbish last season, might be slightly less rubbish this season as I do honestly rate Mbeumo and MA clearly rated Sesko, but let’s see.

The Score

At last, we have finally meandered to the nitty gritty of the result. I am looking forward to games in future where we gonzo it out with our new squad and play for example Kai on the left and only Rice or Zubi behind, shred some unfortunates and get 4-0 up in 20 minutes, always good to see the opposition crowd heading out nice and early! However, whilst I would be happy to see us absolutely compost Manure at home, mostly for the confidence it would give us and the punch in the gut it would give them, I think we should be realistic. It is the first game of the season, away from home, and with new players to embed in key positions. Given those circumstances I would be very happy with a calm and authoritative 2-0 win, no fuss and goals for Viktor early and Kai 2^nd half. Three points and move on to the bigger games to come seems to be the ticket. 

Finally then, I would like to say have a safe and happy trip to those of you lucky enough to be going to the game and to wish the rest of us Happy Viewing wherever we may be and whenever we may be watching