Arsenal welcomed, if that is the right word, the latest unfortunate to hold the poisoned chalice of being United manager, in his first major challenge since taking over from the hapless Ten Hag. United had a number of injuries, particularly in defence forcing them to have to play Maguire. Arsenal, as has become customary this season, also didn’t have a full squad with White out for a while and both Calafiori and Gabriel failed to make the squad as well, meaning Zinchenko and Kiwior started in the left sided defensive roles. Pre-match conversation revolved around how this could be the area United choose to target, with wingers like Garnacho and Diallo in particular licking their lips at the prospect of exposing the defensive frailties down the left.
The game started with Arsenal hoarding possession and United seemingly happy to press and harry seemingly more in a controlled way as opposed to with a view to genuinely winning the ball high up the pitch. We quickly had the ball in the back of the net but Havertz was clearly offside when laying the ball neatly back to Martinelli to slot home from 12 yards. In the 8th minute we won the first of a large number of corners (13 in fact). Prefiguring the excellent delivery which would be a feature of our set pieces for the rest of the game, Rice arrowed in the corner from the left side of the Clock End and somehow Partey contrived to miss his header from around 4 feet, the ball cannoning off his shoulder and wide when it seemed easier to score. The fact that he was entirely unmarked at the near post ought to have been a warning for United.
Around this time, United in general, and Onana in particular started time wasting pretty obviously. Oh how are the mighty fallen – United looking to run the clock down with 80 minutes still to play. The referee did what you would expect, engaging on frivolous conversations with United players, turning his back on the keeper so that he could claim not to have seen what was going on. Standard fare for PL referees, apparently the pinnacle of their profession.
United continued to be happy simply to jockey Arsenal, mostly as a result of the fact that we were moving the ball around quickly and they couldn’t get terribly close to it. At the same time, most of this possession was in front of the United defence and it felt as though we were using the time to probe rather than go all out for victory. Given our history of conceding fast-break goals to United in particular, I was happy to see pragmatism on our part rather than gung-ho attack. On 21, we had another corner, this time delivered from the other side by Saka resulting in Onana rather oddly choosing to punch out rather than catch, perhaps a sign that he in particular and United in general were nervous at our prowess from set pieces. A pattern on the set pieces was beginning to form with a group of 6 Arsenal players gathering beyond the back post and then sprinting into the spaces allowed by the United zonal defending just as the ball was about to be delivered. On 23, another corner delivered by Saka fell to Zinchenko to hit, the resulting block falling to Martinelli who was a little unbalanced and screwed his shot wide.
The game continued to follow the same pattern, with Arsenal controlling possession, but United successfully keeping them at arm’s length and half time came, offering an opportunity to Arteta to reinvigorate the team and perhaps change a few things tactically.
Half Time – Arsenal 0 Man United 0
Perhaps surprisingly, it was United who made a change for the second half, with Malacia who was being given the runaround by Saka and had picked up a booking in the first half, being replaced by skilful, nippy winger Diallo. It immediately became apparent that Arteta had instructed the team to move the ball quicker.
On 47 minutes, Martinelli was put through one on one with Maguire but he seemed to lack confidence and rather than taking on the human obelisk, chose instead to shoot, succeeding only in having his shot blocked and falling harmlessly to Onana.
United’s time wasting reached its nadir in the 50th minute when De Ligt was injured and rolling around off the pitch. For some reason, the referee chose to stop the game and this, erm, weakness, was pounced upon by Onana who went over, like some modern-day Florence Nightingale, to deliver such sweet succour as only a non-medically trained 6 foot 4 inch goalkeeper can. While the referee made pitiful attempts to try to get the keeper to restart, The Obelisk decided to come over and waste time by collecting another ball from beyond the dead ball line and throwing it onto the pitch, ensuring that the restart couldn’t take place, as two balls were in play. Even this referee saw that he had to do something and the world’s only living Easter Island statue was given a yellow for his trouble.
This performance served to rouse Arsenal, both fans and players, and another corner ensued on 53 minutes as we cranked up the pressure. The six-man back post routine was in play again, with Rice delivering expertly to the near post this time, for Timber to get a touch and direct the ball into the net. Cue delirium in the North Bank.
This inspired Amorim to make 3 further changes on 55 minutes with Rashford, Zirkzee and Yoro coming on for Garnacho, Mount and The Obelisk. United now had to try to attack. Curiously, the formerly languorous Onana found that if he really tried he could restart much more quickly. Well done, you!
By now the Gunners were firmly in charge and frankly the substitutions United made had no impact whatsoever. Arsenal continued to press and a raft of corners followed, putting pressure on the United defence and shaky keeper.
On 65 minutes United had by far their best chance, in fact their first on target when a well delivered free kick from the right-hand side of the box by Fernandes was met with a good header by De Ligt, requiring an athletic full stretch diving save from Raya. From my vantage point at least 150 yards away in the North Bank, it looked for all the world destined to hit the back of the net. Super save.
Arteta saw that he needed to inject more energy and made some well-timed substitutions with the always available Martinelli coming off for Trossard and somewhat more surprisingly Merino for Zinchenko who had just been skinned by Diallo and picked up a yellow card. Pretty aggressive subs, with Timber now moving to left back and there was the required energy surge from team and fans. Ødegaard pressured Rashford into giving away yet another corner which Partey met at the back stick, nodding back to hit the well-formed rear end of William Saliba and into the net. VAR tried in vain to construct a reason not to give the goal but even Liverpool fan Jared Gillet couldn’t justify it and the goal stood. Gillet appeared to be looking to rule it out for offside. How can you be offside from a corner, from which the ball is played back from the dead ball line and by definition has to go backward?
By now, United’s defence was in tatters and the corners just kept coming, with Merino heading unchallenged from 8 yards just wide of the post. Amorim took off the hugely ineffective Hojlund for the hugely ineffective one-trick pony Antony. It all smacked of desperation and the easy start to the manager’s United career was well and truly over. Arsenal continued to get stronger and United to wilt. Huge credit must be given to the set piece coach for picking up on the United frailty. This was acknowledged by the crowd with shouts of “Set piece again, ole ole” ringing out as the game came to its inevitable conclusion.
With Chelsea unsurprisingly winning and Liverpool dropping points at Newcastle, this game really was a must win and despite the absences and the potential banana skin of the new manager bounce, Arsenal negotiated it admirably.
Thanks CER amusing report of a generally relaxing early morning watch
bar a momentary loss of concentration in the first half and the header I
was delighted to see Raya save well in the 2nd.
Like C100 in the previous drinks I thought Declan had an excellent game.
Saliba and Timber were very solid on the right as well as scoring and
Kiwior / Zin were fine for a scratch pairing on the left.
Manure were hearteningly crap and congratulations to MA for being the
first Arsenal manager to put them away four times in a row, long may the
run continue.
Thanks for your highly entertaining match report, CER. Worth reading alone for “Obelisk” and “Easter Island statue” 😀😀😀
Nice one, CER. I, too, was amused by your apt descriptions of Maguire. ‘The well-formed rear end of William Saliba’ was nicely turned, too, as it were.
I think Amorin would have been happier with the first half than you imply. United had some shape, something they have lacked for a while. It was clearly an unfamiliar experience, but they doggedly stuck to it, even if they did not do much more than hold it. Still, baby steps, and all that, and it got them to the half-time oranges even Steven. The second half was a different matter. As you say, we moved the ball faster, and that was that; ex figura redux (if that is even a Latin phrase: you will know better than me).
I see our corner kick prowess is causing the boo boys to compare us to Pullis’s Stoke or peak West Brom under Big Sam. Whatever. Big Gabi might have had a hat-trick yesterday had he been fit to play.
In response to Dr F’s query @22 in the previous drinks, that the monks failed to answer before the chevrons descended, the new record is for four consecutive league wins. We won four on the spin against the Red Mancs in the 1990s, but one of those was in the Charity Shield. The old record of three successive league wins dates back to 1930-31 in the old First Division. That equalled the three wins in a WWWDW sequence we had in 1922-26.
To change the topic very slightly, I have determined that Cole Palmer looks like a fish.
As to the exact species I have not yet investigated enough to say at this point, but when I do, I will reveal all in this space.
Haddock, that’s my guess anyway
bt8 @4. Monkfish. Irredeemably ugly.
Ned, I’ll have a think about ex figura redux….
A most enjoyable and entertaining report on a game to which identical epithets can aptly be applied. The news of our defensive absentees prompted prolonged debate over the osso bucco and chianti classico and considerable anxiety about vulnerability on our left flank. As it turned out we need not have worried as Kiwior stepped up and apart from a weak late first half clearance straight to a Man that resulted in a shot that only cleared Raya’s far post by inches, he proved an able substitute for Big Gabbi in his defensive role and earned a deserved grateful hug from the latter at the final whistle. Zinchenko also deserves plaudits for a solid defensive performance until late on when he was too easily dispossessed and then skinned by Manc sub Diallo and he received a deserved yellow card for pulling him back as the speedy Manc approached the box. Cue swift substitution and defensive rearrangement by Arteta, moving Timber across to LB to close that door completely and Thomas dropping back to RB to allow Jorginho to control the midfield and Merino to join the regular penalty box melees. A second yellow would have given the visitors an undeserved opportunity to get back into the game after an otherwise superb defensive performance by Timber and Saliba who didn’t give them a sniff all match and Raya who pulled off a superb save at 1-0. The Mancs remain dangerous despite their recent dysfunction on and off the pitch.
To be fair, as others have noted, the hand of Amorin was evident in the organisation displayed by the Mancs in the first half and the resulting relative bluntness of our attack. They managed to neutralise Ødegaard by constant close attendance by one or other of their midfielders though later in the second half it was clear that they were knackered by trying to keep up with our Captain. At half time I wondered quite how Arteta would help Ødegaard escape their shackles. Somehow he pulled that off and Ødegaard’s influence in the second half was up there with his best performances. Our victory was well deserved and in the end 4-0 would not have flattered us.
I think we can expect an even more organised Manure in the FA Cup tie in January after a few more weeks of Amorim’s influence but then they will hopefully have to face Big Gabbi the Great as well as Tremendous Timber and Super Saliba.
I will hasten to add that the monkfish’s name has nothing to do with its appearance. It is, however, a ferocious predator.
CER
Great report – humorous, intelligent and descriptive. Thankyou
Surprisingly I had spent part of the afternoon discussing old Arsenal / Manure games with Mrs TTG . I reckoned I have seen this fixture at least 50 times , and it has lost a bit of edge largely because they’ve gone back so far . Amorim will arrest that but last night Arteta came out on top .
As I mentioned earlier my eye was taken by Rice who drove the rhythm of the game in the second half, Kiwior who was very solid, Saliba who is a giant in very sense and Timber who is a massive asset . We need at least one more reliable , fit defender because Calafiori is another lad prone to injuries
But a good night and we are in pretty good shape
Fuck off Postecoglu
What can it mean
To a fat Aussie bastard
And as shite football team
Sorry – and cheers CER!
Everywhere they gooooo
Tottenham get battered!
Well in Esso!
Tottenham now10th. Eight points behind us.
Champions League?
You’re having a laugh!
Thanks CER for a good fun read.
On TV the faces of the Utd defenders told their own story – close ups of them looking distraught after our second goal and just like they absolutely knew it was inevitable. Dimitar Bloody Berbatov was comparing us to Stoke in his post match chat with Theo and Roberto Martinez and , of course, the other meedja have run with that today. Stupid and pathetic. I must have missed the bits where we tried to break players legs in half and kick everyone up in the air – but as long as it makes old Utd players happy …..
On a lighter note, the Spuds have Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool in their next 4 games 🤣
Things looking tricky for Postacoglou – he walked down the pitch to have a row with some disenchanted Spuds fans after the final whistle at Bournemouth.
Cheers CER for a good hearted review of a match that had many good points to ponder. It was a deserved win which makes it even more enjoyable ( always a pleasure to beat Manure however good or bad we play). Some good performances including Kiwior who actually played in his favoured position of LCB – Big Gabbies consistency and fitness has precluded the opportunity up to now.
No surprise to see the spuds were mashed again – spursy is what spursy does 🙂
Spuds providing the spursday entertainment, unlike most sit-coms it never gets old.
MA’s relentless quality drive means Tomi, who I like as a RB, is now 3rd choice and KT, who l like as a LB, is now about 5th choice. I assume we will try again to loan out KT in January (I don’t think anyone will buy him outright given his injury woes) and move him on this summer. I hope he can just get a few minutes at least as a sub for what I think may be a goodbye before hopefully a positive loan.
https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/c74x8dge2r8o
Eddie seems such a nice son-in-lawly type of guy until you remember who he is and what he represents.
Plus of course his actual points are complete bollocks.
Many thanks for all your kind words.
TTG @9 et al- I agree that Amorim clearly provided United with a defensive structure which has been absent for a number of years. The FA Cup game may be a different proposition. Although we may have a sturdier defence in place ourselves by then. Zinchenko and Kiwior were really very good, apart from Zinny’s now customary Xhaka-like brain fart.
Matt @19 – Howe is beyond a joke. “Poor us. We haven’t been able to deploy the limitless billions of our owners in contravention of the rules we signed up to. This is all so unfair and prevents proper competition”. What a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive. Lest we forget, Newcastle, along with half a hundred other clubs, have had over a hundred years to become a major force. That they haven’t done it is down to them – poor ownership, poor management, poor decisions. And ahe socio-political argument of being from a deprived area doesn’t wash. It hasn’t hindered Man U or Liverpool. No sympathy. It’s just a jesuitical, specious argument from a second rate dissembler.
CER @20 re the Barcodes (that really winds them up too 🤣) – fine words indeed, Sir 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thanks for that interesting link, Matt @19, nicely paraphrased and contextualised by CER @20. I fervently hope that C130y’s recent wobble is symptomatic of the angst running through that club in anticipation of the huge sanctions they have to face.
Cheers, CER. That De Ligt header seemed to be hitting the back of the net also from my vantage point on the sofa: incredible save!
I was similarly baffled by the attempt to VAR off the Saliba goal, but then I had forgotten who was on duty….
This being a match on an evening during a busy week, I refrained from drinking a celebratory tequila, though I was sorely tempted.
The GHF Predictathon leaderboard update for Match Week 14 has been posted. Spoiler alert: some big moves near the top and a shake-up in the relegation zone.
You know where to find it…
Cheers Ned. I see my escape from the relegation zone was remarkably brief. Straight back to the bottom of the pile!
Guess who our referee is on Sunday against Fulham?
Chris Kavanagh, who sent Rice off for moving the ball one foot. A decision later criticised by Howard Webb.
Deep joy.
Ollie@25: Only one way to go…
Kavanagh – ughh !
and maybe Gillett on VAR for the 5th or 6th time in 15 games. Kavanagh wants to be the star of every show.
Someone I put some faith in is wrecking my Predictathon. Second biggest loser of the week again.
C100 I thought Webb supported the Rice second booking but criticised the decision not to book Pedro for booting the ball into the stand after a foul.
Has the yellow for stopping a quick free kick or throw been binned now? I haven’t heard about it much lately. If so it’s wrong to change a rule part way through a season.
Arsenal v Fulham should not be refereed by anyone from London but as there are no Premier League refs from London that’s not an issue ! Kavanagh is a very poor ref. I’ve been uncomfortable about him since he sent off Eddie Nketiah against Leicester during the lockdown. Just like the Brighton game when he sent off Rice it changed the whole balance of the game for a marginal foul. But when you are looking to be promoted up the PGMOL list to take charge of European and international matches then you follow the letter of tye law whatever it does to a match . Factor that into your predictions for the match !
Sancho P – I’ve not heard anything to suggest that the “delaying a restart” rule has been binned. As far as I know the rule is still in operation but no other referee has chosen to enforce it. You see worse examples of delaying than Rice’s every week but nobody else gets punished for it.
Ned, my matchweek 14 Predictathon graph is showing up as a blank screen. Could it be the dreaded “technical difficulties” rearing its ugly head?
Re: Which species of fish does Cole Palmer most resemble?
While persusing the chart of Fishes of the Upper Raritan Basin (https://www.raritanheadwaters.org/2020/05/18/fishes-of-the-upper-raritan/) which I believe to be at least mostly in New Jersey, I decided that Palmer quite resembles a Chub or a Shiner but there are certainly other possibilities.
bt8@33: I can see it, and so, it seems, can Trev (:)), so any technical difficulties might be at your end.
Trev@29: It’s Forest and Manure that are doing for you. Those two account for 38% of your total points.
I slept through the match and was delighted to learn of our 2-0 win at sunrise and my day was eventually complete when I’d read your entertaining review CER.
I did eventually see the match in these sunny parts on BEIN TV. I was amazed to find that broadcaster using the Arsenal.com commentary team. Thailand’s Manure fans must have been mightily pissed off by the constant (very accurate of course) positivity around every Arsenal action and then the delight expressed by Dan and David when the goals went in should have pushed them over the edge.
Bath’s earlier comment that 4-0 wouldn’t have flattered us is spot on. There isn’t a single one of those red Mancs players who would make it into our starting eleven. Long may they wander in the wilderness of the lower reaches of the league table.
Everton v Liverpool has been called off because of stormy weather.
A chance for us to cut that lead to four points (even if they have a game in hand).
Thats disappointing. You would think that the vast majority of attendees would be pretty local….
>>>>>>>