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Bees Swarm To Smother Arsenal Sting

Feb 13th, 2026 by

Late news, in recent times, seldom seems to mean good news for Arsenal fans. Riccardo Calafiori put himself out of action for 9 games in the warm up and Bukayo Saka was recently placed off games in similar circumstances. After 21CG’s preview hit the cyber press yesterday, Kai Havertz was ruled out with a muscle injury – you would imagine for around 3 or 4 weeks. Do we dare say that these days ? And then today came the news that William Saliba would miss tonight’s game through illness. However, there did seem to be news leaking through that Saka could be ready to play, and Odegaard and Trossard were close but would be assessed nearer to kick off.

In the event the team lined up as –
Raya; Timber, Mosquera, Gabriel, Hinkapie; Zubimendi, Rice, Eze; Madueke, Gyokeres, Trossard;

Subs: Kepa, White, Calafiori, Lewis-Skelly, Norgaard, Odegaard, Martinelli, Saka, Jesus

Brentford’s only win against us came back in the days of Covid-19 in the first ever game at their GTech Stadium. The winning goal scored by ……. of course it was, Christian Norgaard!

I swear I spotted Brentford players in our half during the warm up on TV. Well, I thought, they can f*ck off for a start – if only our manager had the nous and the nerve to get out there and let them know right where they stand. Or not. So to speak.

There’s been some clamour for Eze to play more. In an interview before tonight’s game though he said he is very happy with how things are going; that there is a lot more information to take on board when playing for Arsenal as compared to Palace; that their roles are very precisely laid out for them and they know exactly what they all have to do; that some relationships take longer than others to develop; that playing in this team is like playing with ten other “master players”. Basically he is loving his time, it is tremendous fun and it is just what he wants to be doing. So he is happy enough, whatever we fans might be imagining.

Mikel Arteta said in his pre-game Q and A that ; Saliba didn’t feel well this morning; Eze deserves to play; (how do we shut all the title race noise out) We’ve been doing that for 7 months – we are used to it; (are we good enough to live with the best) We know what we have to do and we’ve been doing it very well. (If you really want any more of this profound, fascinating stuff, you could try looking on stupidbloodyquestions.com.)

The game

In the immediate aftermath I’m really not quite sure what to say about that game. I’m conflicted about almost everything that happened. I’m sure some of that is coloured by my allegiance or bias towards The Arsenal and, correspondingly, some isn’t.

I started by making notes and jotting down all the notable bits of play as usual. I noted after just 3 minutes that Brentford earned their first yellow card – doubtless an indication of how they were going to take us on. But then I was overtaken by how I felt about the game rather than its individual moments. As I’m now half watching the post match interviews on TNT with Martin Keown and Peter Crouch, Crouch has just confirmed the observation I was slightly reluctant to make which was that Brentford played very similarly to his old Stoke City side. Very physical, relentless pressure, long balls thrown in, long throws under the bar.

So why the reluctance ? Well, there’s nothing wrong with that approach if that’s your choice. To be clear, Brentford do not foul in the same malicious way that Stoke did but the grappling at set pieces is quite ridiculous and they constantly break up play with low grade fouls, trips and shirt pulls that referee John Brooks was happy to excuse under the pressure of their Britannia Stadium like crowd. It is extremely difficult to play against and I don’t think Arsenal managed to overcome the relentlessness in the first half. We started quite well, took control, lost it for a while and regained it by 35 minutes for the rest of the half without really threatening to score.

Gabriel received a yellow card for winning the ball and still be sliding as Thiago fell over his foot. Gyokeres was given a yellow card for the most minimal of nudges on a Brentford defender’s back while Madueke was downed in the area by two hands on his back but ….. nothing. No card. No penalty – not “enough” contact – just more conflict for me. The quantitive analysis performed by VAR is quite bewildering.

Individually I thought Masquera was again a terrific substitute for Saliba. Eze kept possession well and always looked to move play forwards – although he is still struggling a bit to find his real position in this team. Gyokeres showed much improved first touch and hold up play. Madueke had plenty of the ball but produced little or no threatening end product. We also saw the worst and best of David Raya as he rolled a stupid ball under Declan Rice’s foot which was turned over and crossed towards Thiago’s head. He then redeemed himself with another fantastic save as the striker’s header looked certain to hit the back of the net.

For all the comparison with Stoke, Brentford were well organised as you would expect from a manager who was their set piece coach a year ago. They made it very difficult for us to play and are a menace from corners and long, long throws.

Half time: Brentford 0 – 0 Arsenal

Mikel Arteta replaced Eze with Martin Odegaard at half time and had clearly had stern words to say as Arsenal were chalk and cheese compared to their first half pace and accuracy. Odegaard was very visibly managing the side and the press in a way that Eze simply does not – and is almost certainly not asked to – and was instantly more involved in play.

Jensen was next in the book for Brentford as they continued to foul at almost every opportunity. Just as Arteta ordered Bukayo Saka to put his hot water bottle away and get ready to enter the fray, Madueke rose to send a brilliant header back across Kelleher in the Brentford goal to put us ahead.

Brentford 0 – 1 Arsenal

Our goal definitely poked the bear in Brentford and it took a superb block header by Gabriel to thwart Thiago. Saka had only been on for 3 minutes when Brentford equalised following another long, long throw from Kayode. Odegaard was hurt trying to clear the final header and although he carried on, wasn’t quite the same afterwards.

Brentford 1 – 1 Arsenal

With so much at stake for the Arsenal and a European place in prospect for Brentford, the game became a basketball match of end to end all out attack. Martinelli and Calafiori replaced Trossard and Hinkapie. Mosquera recovered to make a quite brilliant tackle on Thiago before Rice cleared superbly in the 91st minute. There was still time for Timber to race clear and set Martinelli up for the winner but Gabi took an extra touch, Kelleher was able to block the shot and the final chance was gone.

Full time: Brentford 1 – 1 Arsenal

I‘m going to add the rules on grappling at set pieces to the things I no longer understand. Brentford players were whirling into the back of our net at corners and throw ins, grabbing our players shirts and shoving them into the net, off the pitch, and into our own goalkeeper such that he was totally unable to move. At one stage David Raya was thrown to the ground on his back. Why does that result in the corner being retaken rather than a free kick to Raya ? Saka was even stopped in the centre circle by two arms thrown round his chest – again, nothing given.

And that is the source of my conflict. On the one hand, Keith Andrews has taken his resources and built a team with terrific spirit that plays to its particular strengths. That’s great but it requires a strong official to keep things within the laws of the game. John Brooks was quick to hand out cards for very little outside the penalty areas. Inside the areas it seemed to be absolutely anything goes. In the one hand I admire how Brentford have recruited and replaced their two main forwards, a full back and their manager. On the other hand I hate the way they play and I hate the fact we couldn’t beat it.

There will doubtless be more gnashing of teeth tonight on (anti) social media. The media will go to town on the title race which they will claim has been “blown wide open”. We drew a very difficult game away from home. We are still 4 points and GD clear of Man City. There are 36 points to play for. City will drop some of those. And a special mention for Declan Rice – superb throughout.

Take the point. Move on. Win the next game.

Posted in Match Report | 28 Drinks »

Was you ever bit by a dead bee?

Feb 12th, 2026 by

“They can sting you just as bad as when they’re alive…”

In recent days and weeks, we have seen how media driven narratives can take hold in a title race. Arsenal have spent the majority of the season so far sat at the summit of the Premier League table. Since a 2-0 win over West Ham on 4th October, we have not yet been prised from our perch. This year we have been the team to chase as opposed to the chasers.

Such a position seems to invite itself into talk of a potential “bottling” from certain dim-witted individuals holding dangerous power in terms of fuelling whatever narrative has been decided for that week, usually every bit as obnoxious and poorly argued as the one which preceded it. We sit six points clear of Manchester City, a very healthy position to be in with 13 games to go. This time last week we were also six points clear. But despite that, this week’s Sky Sports narrative “argues” that following Manchester City’s win at Anfield, Arsenal will be looking over their shoulders. This is despite the previous week’s narrative which “argued” the title was essentially wrapped up for Arsenal. So, a week later, we hold the same numerical advantage with one less game for both sides to play and yet if you were to listen to these narratives you would be led to believe that Arsenal are in a weaker and more precarious position to the one, they were in a week ago. So, there we have it.

For us rational folk (and we are in a dwindling minority these days it seems) we know better than to listen to such dross. And one would suspect that is the same of our players and manager. To Brentford we shall commence our latest battle on our quest for the title on Thursday night. They will provide a stern test; we can be sure of that. Probably sterner than that of Leeds and Sunderland. A tough place to go for Arsenal perhaps. That’s what the TNT commentator on Spurs vs Newcastle last night said. Let’s have a look, shall we? What’s that? Arsenal winning on each of their last four visits to Brentford? But that doesn’t tally with what the “expert” commentator on TNT said! How can that be? It’s almost like these people are told what to say regardless of the relationship between their pre-determined narrative and the truth.

I’m not saying Brentford are not a decent side. Far from it. I am merely demonstrating how football analysis is increasingly driven by whatever will get the most clicks. We are all bored of hearing pundits talk almost entirely in soundbites. It’s almost like they are trying to get as many viral clips for social media as possible. Well, that’s exactly what it sounds like. In the UK, if you subscribe to Sky and TNT, you are more than likely paying over £100 a month to listen to these absolute chancers. Is that value for money? Increasingly, these broadcasters and media outlets (mostly digital but now increasingly in print too) are seemingly catering to an audience that isn’t interested in detailed analysis but more into much shorter sensationalist quotes and clips that can be shared and LOL’d at 10,000 times a minute. Because an oddball with a mic’ shouting expletives and poorly thought-out nonsense at a camera gets more revenue than a pundit sharing his or her rational analysis based on the facts and what they have seen and not what they’d like to see. There is no place for rationality in football anymore. Not if you want to make loadsa’ money anyway.

I suppose we just have to block out the noise. That’s one good thing. We can choose not to listen to these people. When you watch tomorrow’s game on TV you can choose not to tune in for the baseless pre-match analysis, you may even choose to watch the game on mute which is a shame but sometimes it has to be done. When you are scrolling X (formerly known as Twatter) you can simply choose to scroll past the 38-year-old basement dweller screeching “Arteta owttt” into his mic’. And as for the players, they are professionals who are attuned to this sort of thing. Do your talking on the pitch and let the Mancunian has-beens and never-were’s boil in their jealousy that they don’t have an ounce of the talent Arteta has.

But that’s quite enough moaning from me. This will be a big test, but I think at this point we are all confident we can and will overcome it. Brentford are in serious contention for a European spot, currently sat 7th on 39 points, hilariously level with Liverpool. Following on from the departures of Bryan Mbuemo and Yoanne Wissa last summer many, including me, expected them to toil in the relegation battle especially as this was coupled with the departure of manager and lifelong Gooner Thomas Frank to Spurs. I wonder how he’s getting on? Silver Member Frank was replaced with Brentford’s set piece coach, Keith Andrews which raised many eyebrows indeed. But the Irishman has proved everybody wrong as Brentford look set for perhaps their first foray into the continental stage. Just as well Heathrow’s only down the road.

In terms of team selection, we can expect a strong side given Sunday’s FA Cup tie at home to Wigan will provide much opportunity for rotation. This would be my predicted lineup.

Raya
Timber Saliba Gabriel Hincapie
Zubimendi Rice Havertz
Madueke Gyokeres Martinelli

Trossard seemed to pick up a knock in the closing stages of the 3-0 win over Sunderland, but it looked relatively minor. Even so, I don’t think he will be risked. Martinelli is a more than able backup. Arteta said today that both Saka and Odegaard will have late tests on their fitness so perhaps they will be on the bench. And I think Gyokeres will start given the excellent form he’s been in.

My Prediction is a hard fought 2-0 win on the road.

COYG!

Posted in Match Preview | 27 Drinks »

Gyokeres starts to prove his worth as Arsenal gain a solid win

Feb 8th, 2026 by

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Arsenal went, at least temporarily, into a nine point lead in the Premier League with an ultimately comfortable 3-0 win over Sunderland at the Emirates yesterday.

 A late change in our writing schedule has led me to metaphorically rip  off my tracksuit and  produce a report on the game which I viewed from inside the stadium and subsequently at home. As I did not take notes this will be more impressionistic than deeply factual.

One of the first things I noted on arriving at the ground was that both goalmouths are significantly worn. Not in the way that goalmouths would wear in the sixties and seventies when there would be no grass on the pitch after November. What has caused this is unclear. Could it be volume of matches with the stadium hosting a full season of men’s matches and most of the fixtures for our Club World Championship winning ladies side? Or could David Raya have single-handedly worn them down as he fannies around the six yard box when taking goal-kicks? Or has Jamie O’Hara the ex- Spurs pundit who I listened to driving back after the game, vandalised the pitch in an attempt to thwart our advance on the Quadruple? Listening to his pathetic  claims post-match it made me realise that a village in Essex must be currently without its idiot and that this season is becoming a very painful one for many people. Especially if you are based in N17.

For the Sunderland match Mikel Arteta tweaked the team that reached Wembley on Tuesday. Raya returned but had one of his fortunately very rare days of slight eccentricity, Calafiori replaced Hincapie and also looked slightly off his best, Gabriel Jesus started upfront with Havertz in midfield.

Sunderland stuck with the side that had put Burnley to the sword on Monday and began the game in lively mood. They are the first side I have noted with a Mr. Brobbey upfront and he looked a difficult customer to deal with pinning Saliba on a number of occasions. Diarra was elegant upfront and Danny Ballard, once of this parish was the cornerstone of their defence.

Havertz headed wide in the first minute after excellent work by Trossard who had a very hardworking and effective game but left the field near the end with what looked like a muscle strain. Raya had fumbled an early cross which Brobbey drove towards goal only for Havertz to block his effort. It was an even contest with Sunderland looking neat and well-organised. Rice curled an effort narrowly wide but Arsenal weren’t able to dominate possession or pin the Mackems back. The game burst into life a few minutes before halftime when Trossard on the left rolled a short pass to Zubimendi and he hit a low shot with slight curl which beat Roefs on his right and entered the net via the right post.

Arsenal 1 Sunderland 0 – Zubimendi 41

Shortly afterwards Jesus was put clear through the middle took the ball around Roefs and was brought down. The refereee, Sam Barrett who was reasonably impressive, apart from being too lenient on a Brobbey charge on Timber, gave a penalty but then Jesus was given offside. Later the strange mechanistic drawings that PGMOL use to illustrate offsides showed Jesus with his feet in his own half but his head over the line. I suspect the knowledge that a penalty would force them to consider a possible red card for Ballard may have influenced their decision. Shortly afterwards Havertz picked up the ball in the outside right channel drifted inside and curled just wide. Arsenal had narrowly shaded a hard- fought first half in wet and windy conditions.

Halftime – Arsenal 1 Sunderland 0 

Arsenal, as they so often do looked more energised as the second half began but Madueke who had begun well started to fade as his end product reduced and Jesus continued to be neat but peripheral in search of a second Arsenal goal. Meanwhile Talbi fired a low-shot which Raya saved with difficulty.

Arteta decided to make changes on the hour bringing on Martinelli and Gyokeres for Madueke and Jesus. Arsenal immediately began to hold a higher and more dominant press and on 66 minutes quick and clever switch passes by Trossard and Havertz set up Gyokeres who while off-balance managed to fire a shot past Roefs.

Arsenal 2 Sunderland 0 – Gyokeres 66 

That seemed decisive and Arsenal brought on Eze for Havertz. Eze has attracted criticism despite some notable moments in his fledgling Arsenal career but his contribution was increasingly assured. Sunderland remained competitive but were not penetrative due to the vigilance of our defence where Hincapie replaced a rusty-looking Calafiori. Gyokeres was notably effective causing real problems with his muscular presence and neat in his build-up play.

When Norgaard replaced Trossard in injury-time, the Belgian looked to be suffering from cramp but we hope it is nothing more serious. He had a very good game combining ubiquity with skill and underlining what a terrific asset he has been since his signing three years ago. 

Norgaard made a timely interception, early in injury time ,playing the ball forward and Martinelli used his pace and strength to move into the penalty area, draw Roefs and give Gyokeres a tap-in. 

Arsenal 3 Sunderland 0 – Gyokeres 90+1 

The natives are softening towards Gyokeres with good reason as he is the top scorer in 2026 of any Premier League striker. Yesterday he caught the eye with the intelligence of his moving and his pressing and it is possible that his confidence has been boosted by changing fortunes and this is reflected by the speed of his reactions. He has tended to score against the less  vaunted teams but Arsenal have lacked someone who puts the lesser teams to bed for some time.

A scintillating Eze run almost set up Martinelli. This was a day when all of our substitutions worked well, increasing the energy and creativity of the team. Juggling minutes for our squad in the midst of this incredibly intense programme is a difficult challenge but one we’ve dealt with excellently. 

This was a highly satisfactory result and a decent performance, putting us temporarily nine points ahead of C130y who celebrated the third anniversary of their charges this weekend. Nothing is decided yet or will be for some time but steady performances like this will help us closer to that elusive league title.

Full-time Arsenal 3 Sunderland 0

Posted in Match Report | 40 Drinks »

The Case for not Resting the Defence

Feb 6th, 2026 by

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This weekend sees The Arsenal return to the day job as Saturday afternoon league football action makes a welcome return with the visit of Sunderland. With all the excitement of destroying poor little Chelsea midweek, which actually reminds me, I feel I should apologise to Mr Rosenior for our players wilfully going into their half and kicking the ball in their net – I am sure it must have been traumatic but to be honest I fear it may happen again. Anyway, in all the excitement, it has been easy to forget the true business this season starts with getting another league title fairly on the books. 

So, where do we stand in the league?  

We stand top.  Although the last 5 games have seen a return of only a paltry 8 points from a possible 15, a dire situation indeed. I had, as would any lowly hack these misbegotten days, been busily knocking out the requisite ravings of existential clickbait angst until…. a quick check on our rivals showed that in fact we had done better than them!  Aston Villa have only garnered seven and Manchester City a mere six over the same period. Now, it is also true that Chelsea and Manchester United have got 10 and 11 respectively. So what, who cares? If you should find yourself approached by anyone suggesting that either of these teams are title rivals, then I would recommend a friendly nod and your most reassuring smile as you back warily away. Probably, best to put in a call to the local Rabies Control Centre afterwards too, you can never be too careful with the dangerously deluded. 

What does it all mean? What should we do?

It means we are in a three-horse race and six points to the good. Simple really, but having said that, I know some of you prefer to dare the labyrinthine coils and so I think we can best elucidate a touch further by speculating that should we keep on getting a few more points than our nearest rivals we will, come May, be the champions. And there you have it, a currently fashionable Tactical Mattaclass  if ever there was one. However, before too many rose petals are strewn before my ever so unworthy feet, I must admit to a strong belief that Mr Arteta may have already thought of this cunning plan. 

On a more grounded note, it should be said that this weekend does represent a good opportunity for The Arsenal – a win over Sunderland will certainly put the pressure on both our rivals who face tricky away games, Villa at a recently resurgent Bournemouth, and City at Liverpool. Not only that however, it will also hold us in good stead for our next three league games. After this week’s home game, the PL have given us the mixed blessing of adding in a rescheduled trip to Wolves (due to the Carabao Cup Final) between two trips to Brentford and Tottenham – yet another away stand this season (though to be strictly fair we do have Wigan in the FA Cup at home, but I am sure you see the point). On the other hand, if we can come through those away games with a decent points haul then we will be in a really great place with 10 games to go.  Top of the league and a 6/4 home / away split left to play. It’s certainly a tough league, but then I’m certainly a believer and I see no reason this Arsenal team won’t get that done.  

Who will start?

Er…. good question really. Odegaard, Saka and Timber all missed the open training session this week and this has obviously raised concerns over their availability. Unreliable reports of Saka being out until the NLD have also being doing the rounds, concerning if true I suppose, but then a week or two back the press lamented the imminent demise of Kai Havertz and I must say he looked sprightly enough midweek. What would Mikel say at the presser? He was in fact oddly forthcoming this week – Timber is fine for the weekend was the good news, Martin is a matter of days and Bukayo’s hip is much better and he will be back with us very soon. I haven’t read any of the dreaded three weeks into that but I’d also guess that maybe not this game for Martin and Bukayo.  

My tentative stab at an XI would be……..

Raya

Timber Saliba Gabriel Hincapie

Havertz Zubimendi Rice

Madueke Gyokeres Trossard

Of course, the players need rest but we can rest several against Wigan I hope, and I would be loath to ever change a defence that has been so effective the last two games. I expect Calafiori to be considered of course, and possibly Eze will start again instead of Kai. Regardless, it is quite likely that Mikel will also change one or two up front to even out the workload, we will just have to wait and see in what mysterious ways Mikel moves this time.  

The Opposition

Sunderland were, until this season, perhaps best known for a famous FA Cup Final triumph against Leeds in 1973 and some documentaries with sad endings. This season however has seen the sad songs banished and the promoted club that were many people’s favourites to go straight back down have instead spent the season in the top half of the table. Currently 8th they seem well on a course for a decent finish and, who knows, the happy ending of European jollies next season.

If you would like to know all you could ever want to know about Sunderland’s manager and players. I can only refer you to Ned’s excellent preview of our away trip there earlier this season. The only significant addition to the first team since then is the young Ecuadorian left winger Nilson Angulo, signed from Anderlecht on deadline day for around 20 million euros. Basically, Angulo is a replacement for Simon Adingra, himself only signed from Brighton in the summer but already off-loaded to Monaco. Don’t cry for Adingra, I believe the yachts are a little bigger and the water a little warmer than the Wear.  

In terms of current form, the Black Cats last 4 games are, more or less, a microcosm of their season, wins at home to Palace and Burnley, losses away at West Ham and Brentford. They are not totally without resource away, having won at the bus stop in Fulham but overall are a stronger proposition at home. On the injury front it seems our old friend Granit Xhaka will be absent, probably a footballing blessing at least, he has been an important player for Sunderland this season. Based on what I have seen of them this season, I expect they will be up for the challenge, they are a tough, resilient bunch and there will be no gifts. We are better, which generally helps, but they will make us prove it. 

What will happen?

Our rediscovered defensive mastery against Leeds and Chelsea has been very heartening – over three hours of barely giving the opposition a chance has made for very relaxing viewing in downtown Osaka I must say. More of the same seems to be in order this weekend, and, though I have avoided mentioning it until right at the end, just a little bit of revenge for that annoying late equaliser in the 2-2 draw at their place. 3-0 to The Arsenal and no injuries would suit me just fine and dandy. Goals from Leo, who’s due, and Noni, should he play, plus a thumping header from a corner by one of our stalwart defenders would round off my early morning!

Have a great one for those of you going, and as my Mum would say, don’t forget your warm coat, it’s brass monkeys out there. As for those of us who plan to sit and watch, may our sofas be comfortable and our drinks just right. Cheers to us all!

Posted in Match Preview | 59 Drinks »

Control

Feb 4th, 2026 by

Are we sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

Last night at the Stadium of Stone, we saw quite possibly the finest exposition yet of Mr. Arteta’s preferred approach to the Beautiful Game.  Following a tough away game at the veritable bear pit that is Elland Road, it was the turn of the denizens of the Bus Stop in Fulham to come to N5. This latest rendering of an expensively, randomly, cluelessly assembled bunch of mercenaries came, apparently, with hope of overturning the narrow 1 goal lead we gained from our visit a fortnight ago to their charmless footballing throwback of a ground, requiring us to mix with their equally charmless, Darwin-denyingly regressive supporters. I still feel just a little dirty after the experience. 

Somewhat short of time, I shall not, on this occasion, give a blow-by-blow account, but a quick, impressionistic, thumbnail sketch of the evening. The ground was packed and clearly a good number of season ticket holders had eschewed the opportunity to attend, enabling the hordes of fans otherwise reduced to listening to the almost universally appalling tv punditry offered in the UK to attend. They were present, loud and as animated as the regulars, at the risk of appearing condescending. I can give no greater compliment than to say that at times they were as up for it as those all-in, hardy souls who go away. There is no greater praise.  

In the first half we ought to have had a penalty when Fofana jumped with Hincapié for a header at the near post from another well-delivered Madueke corner. He clearly led with his arm, which made contact with the ball. Still, PGMOL, so no penalty. From the resulting – incorrectly given corner, Madueke sent in another, which resulted in Hincapié attempting a Sakaesque curler into the top right of Sanchez’s goal, which he did well to push out for a corner on the side where the charmless SW6 hordes were confined.   A first-class long pass from back to front by Gabriel almost put in Martinelli who sprinted inside Malo Gusto, turned him and was unlucky to see his shot blocked by the recovering full back. It struck me that Malo Gusto is very nearly a wonderful example of cross language nominative determinism, playing for Chelsea being the height of bad taste. The ill-tempered Argentinian circus dwarf Fernandez had an effort from outside the box which Kepa, clearly bored, decided to punch away entirely unnecessarily rather than catch.  It was a pretty cold, wet night so we shall forgive his indulgence. The half ended and an entirely untroubled Arsenal went in for Bovril and Wagon Wheels.

Chelsea came out with renewed gusto – unfortunately for them still at full back – and had a couple of corners which threw up less than half chances, probably the best of which saw the human cockroach shoot from 20 odd yards high wide and, appropriately for him, not very handsome. Chelsea made a couple of changes, bringing on Estevao along with the human Venus Fly Trap that is the perpetually open-mouthed Palmer, but to no avail.  On 70, Arsenal brought on Havertz and Trossard to replace Gyökeres and Madueke who had both been tireless in running and fulfilling the roles assigned by the manager, pinning back their men excellently.  We quite possibly ought to have had another penalty late on when, capitalising on a slip from Estevao, Eze won the ball well in midfield, drove forward and released Martinelli. The Brazilian attempted to push the ball outside Chalobah on the edge of the box. The defender contacted the ball but then, undoubtedly deliberately, followed through on Martinelli bringing him down. PGMOL, so no penalty.  The game was drawing to a close and the media-touted genius that is Rosenior half-heartedly threw his team forward, creating very little in the process. The opposition pumped a hopeless ball into the box which Kepa caught and did the compulsory flop to the floor to waste time, Cue Saliba and Gabriel exulting as if we had won the World Cup, the Derby and the National Lottery, much to the dismay of those of a blue persuasion who hadn’t by this time departed for Godalming and points south.  But the fun wasn’t over yet. Despite being well over time, the referee was trying to eke out a final twist to the game. Trossard won a loose ball in midfield and freed up Rice, charging forward in surely what would be our last attack (copyright B. Moore, Friday  26th May 1989). He instinctively hit a curling ball into the void in the middle of the pitch where the Chelsea defence had once been, with a grateful Havertz controlling the ball and running at Sanchez, alone and palely loitering.  I’m not sure Keats necessarily had him in mind. Havertz could have played the ball inside to Martinelli, but thought it would be more fun to sit the Chelsea keeper on his backside, and stroke the ball into an empty net. “Aah, the delicious taste of Schadenfreude” was, I’m sure, the thought which ran through the mind of the escapee from Stalag Fulham Road as the net bulged beautifully. Cue that beautiful old hymn “You’ve seen the Arsenal, now feel free to venture home” came forth from the huddled North Bank masses. Alas, there were few if any Chelsea fans in the ground to hear it. Pearls before swine! The referee humourously allowed Chelsea to kick off and immediately blew the whistle. Cacophony. Well, symphony actually. The noise was beautiful. The bar at block 10 was rammed. The first drinks of the year went down rather well. and 21CG and I eventually wended our way home.

Apparently – and according to the BBC, so curb your credulity – Bus Stop FC had 14 efforts at scoring. Me neither!  Apparently 2 of these were on target. Me neither! Tonight we saw the finest exposition yet of Arteta controlling a game. The opposition, expensively yet seemingly randomly assembled, had to score. Yet their much-praised latest Boehly Human-Shield of a manager seemed to be very much undecided as to whether he needed ‘to stick or twist on 14’ and as result, Arteta ground his team into the dirt with a fine display of cold, detached, outcome-driven football of which George would have been proud. Much praised in the bought-and-paid-for footballing mainstream media, Rosenior was shown up for the novice he is by a display of professionalism to which, no doubt, he aspires but is as yet nowhere near reaching. Forget the media hype about them. Forget the increasingly desperate media attempts to undermine Arteta’s charges. This Arsenal is the real deal. In what is now the second least important game of our season – the least important now, no matter what the click-bait, apparently professional, journalists say, is the final next month – the manager put out a team intent on controlling the opposition, smothering them and reducing them to a level of footballing impotence which only a stadium-load of Viagra could raise. Rosenior failed to pick up their prescription. Despite playing with 2 centre forwards, they were reduced to a flaccid performance by a well-drilled team, set up with intent and drive.  I shall take the metaphor no further. You know where it’s going.  This performance was one of purpose, where Arteta manipulated the opposition and reduced them to going round in ever-decreasing circles. 

Control.

Posted in Match Report | 38 Drinks »

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