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It hardly seems two minutes since Buendia scored an added time winner at Villa Park to rob us of the point that was the least we deserved from that game and we now face Unai Emery’s mob again. It’s first against third with a three point gap and a financially doped predator in between us in second place and yet another must win game! In truth, it feels like every game this season legitimately carries that label.

The Opposition

Villa had a shocking start to the season, taking only 3 points from their first 5 games while scoring only a single goal. However, that’s all changed and they are flying now with 11 consecutive wins in all competitions – exceeding a 111 year record. Moreover, this season they have won 18 points from losing positions in the Premier League – 6 more than the next best team. So, a single goal lead which has been our default late game position of late, would appear to be unlikely to deliver the three points that we need. After their come-back victory against the Chavs at the weekend, we can expect the Villa players’ tails to be up and they will come to N5 confident of taking something from this game.

Last Saturday, in his post-match interview, Watkins who was sent on for Malen on 60 minutes and scored two goals, claimed, with a smirk, that Villa’s transformation from an absolutely hopeless first half outfit to the dominant team in the last 30 minutes, was the result of ‘tactical genius’. The implication taken was that this tactical genius was Emery, but Watkins didn’t actually say that. The addition of Watkins, Onana and Sancho and the movement of Tielemans to the ‘ten’ position seemed to confuse the Chav defence. The putative ‘tactical genius’ himself stated that “a team must be resilient to win a match in the second half with the same players or, with different players”. Note well these words of a true genius!

I have seen it claimed that Emery is a world class coach to whom Arsenal didn’t give a fair crack of the whip. I disagree. At Arsenal he made bizarre team selections, had his teams adopt bizarre tactics and play out suicidally from the back. Watching his teams made my eyes bleed and furthermore he threw several Premier League games to prioritise the Europa League over a very achievable fourth place offering Champions League football, to the benefit of the mob up the road; then having reached the Europa League Final, he presided over an execrable performance in which we were humiliated by the Chavs. As coach at PSG, where the league title is an annual gimmeee by virtue of alleged financial doping and creative accountancy, he managed to finish second. At PSG and at Arsenal, he proved himself incapable of coaching a top team to the top silverware yet in Spain and at Villa he has successfully made middle-grade teams competitive. He’s the footballing epitome of the middle manager who reaches his/her level of incompetence and needs to be re-assigned to a role in which the capacity to wreak havoc is limited. 

I am reminded of an observation of former Celtic and Scotland doctor, John Fitzsimons, on the appointment of Ally McLeod (look him up, kids) to the role of Scotland coach. Doc Fitzsimons sat in the dugout alongside the great Jock Stein for over a decade as his team won 9 consecutive league titles giving him an almost unique perspective on football management. On McLeod’s appointment as Scotland coach, Fitzsimons observed, “At Aberdeen, McLeod showed that he can make average players good but can he make good players great?” The answer was abundantly clear at the 1978 World Cup Finals in Argentina from which there’s a clip of Fitzsimons sitting on the bench yawning during a game in which a talented Scotland midfield toiled aimlessly while McLeod simulated a series of tonic-clonic seizures. In a way Fitzsimons’ observation is a variant of the ‘Gus Caesar effect’ described in Fever Pitch (I assume our readers have read Fever Pitch – if not, why not?). I think that observation applies to Emery. As does a propensity to tonic-clonic seizures on the touchline!

Emery’s primary strategy out of possession is a 4-4-2 formation to congest central areas and force opponents wide, employing a high defensive line to shrink the pitch and catch opponents offside with selective pressing triggered by poor touches or back passes, while Martinez plays ‘sweeper keeper’ behind the high defensive line. This formation morphs into a fluid 3-2-4-1 or 3-2-5 in possession, building patiently from the back through a box midfield, often shifting from a controlled, slow build-up to a rapid, direct incisive attack by vertical passes through the lines into channels for fast runners like Watkins and Rogers while overloads are created by wingers moving centrally and full-backs overlapping or underlapping.

Despite this usual approach, I expect Emery to adopt the tactic that has become familiar or indeed, almost invariable from teams visiting TNHOF over the last few seasons: a deep block when we have possession with a nine or ten man defence to stifle our attacks, making rapid breakaway attacks from balls over the top, aiming to preserve a 0-0 scoreline or better still (for them) hold onto a stolen lead until late in the game when they will, if necessary, throw the kitchen sink at us with the aim of winning the game or salvaging a point. It’s become all too familiar and, given the pattern of our last several games with late jitters, exactly what I expect Villa to do.

The Villa team will be very familiar given how recently we have played them. Their glove butler will be the pantomime villain Martinez who will play that role to his utmost. Their defence has been shorn of Cash through suspension due to his fifth yellow card and their attack will also be weakened by his absence. Mings and Torres are expected to remain unavailable and they have no specialist right back cover so it will be intriguing to see how Emery addresses that problem and whom he adds to the backline of Konsa, Lindelof and Maatsen. Kamara also acquired his fifth yellow but will be easier to replace with Bogarde or Onana likely to join McGinn, Buendia and Tielemans in midfield. Upfront it seems likely Watkins will be restored to the starting XI at the expense of Malen with in-form Rogers playing alongside him.

Villa’s recent run has been extraordinary, scoring 27 goals to outperform their xG of 18.66, ten coming from outside the box, three more than any other side. I trust that reversion to the mean is imminent and that Mikel will instruct our midfielders to block attempts from range.

The Arsenal

We seem to have established a new pattern of play over the last four games, indeed in every game since the added time defeat to Villa (have I mentioned that?) bar the dismantling of Bruge. We have dominated first halves, created a barrowload of chances only to spurn most of them with near-misses, feeble efforts or by drawing outrageous saves or goal-line clearances from the opposition. Yet, we have often taken a first half or early second half lead but, critically, haven’t killed off the opposition by establishing the unassailable lead that our dominance and chance creation deserved. Second halves usually begin with similar dominance and missed chances but around the hour mark we seem to run out of steam as, despite our profligacy, or perhaps because of it, all our players have expended massive efforts and several look quite exhausted. 

In stark contrast to Villa, Arsenal have scored ONE GOAL from 9.23 xG in open play (excluding penalties) in their last four games. Another situation where we must hope for reversion to the mean. Of course, we must note that four of our last six goals have been own goals courtesy of generous oppositions and that has helped us maintain our position at the top of the league despite our ongoing epidemic of injuries and shyness in front of goal. 

The number and, moreover, the clustering of injuries are undoubtedly major factors in generating this pattern of matches. All our automatisms in possession and our defensive understandings are dependent on familiarity and practice while replacements, no matter their individual talents, cannot suddenly reproduce that fluency while players returning from injury can take time to re-establish the groove. At the outset this season, we looked extremely well stocked with quality defensive cover, some said overstocked, but we are now down to bare bones with kindergarten centre backs being considered as potential starters in the bereft right back slot. Before the Brighton game we added Timber and, in the warm-up, Calafiori to the casualty list. I’ve seen nothing official about their injuries or how long they are expected to be out but I’ve seen rumours that both suffered hamstring injuries so that will mean weeks rather than days. On Saturday the return of Gabriel for a 20 minute workshop on defence stabilisation was a timely godsend and hopefully he will have experienced no reaction to his exertions and is fit to start against Villa.

Which brings us to our starting XI. Mikel has key decisions to make at right back, midfield, centre forward and left wing. I would really like to see Rice return to his left ‘8’ position where he can influence proceedings at both ends of the pitch but I think that, if he recovers from his obvious exhaustion at the end of the Brighton game, he will be asked to reprise his performance at right back as I don’t expect either Timber or White to be fit for this game. Mikel is so keen on a right-footed plus left-footed centre back pairing that I cannot see him switching either Hincapié or MLS across to right back. Thus Merino will likely be called upon to play left ‘8’ as I really don’t see Mikel throwing caution to the wind by playing both Ødegaard and Eze together against Villa unless the latter is asked to start from wide left. I expect Martinelli to get that shirt given the battering Trossard took against Brighton. And then there is the $64,000 or £60m plus question. Do we start Gyökeres again in the hope that more game time can bring more fortune, more integration and more confidence through a goal or two? Or do we give Jesùs a chance to lead the line from the start. The latter’s energy and interplay for 20 minutes on Saturday clearly lifted the team and if it were my choice Jesús would start but I expect Mikel to choose Gyökeres again. Hence, I expect our starting line up to be:

Raya

Rice, Saliba, Gabriel, Hincapié

Ødegaard, Zubimendi, Merino

Saka, Gyökeres, Martinelli

Villa will come determined to win this game to reel us in, and will, at least in phases of the game, try to throw the kitchen sink at us. If we still have the capacity to transition quickly when we break up their attacks that is when we should strike and where the pace of Martinelli and Saka, and the bull-like, powerful running of Gyökeres may be most productive. I would retain the intricate skills of Trossard, Jesús, Eze and Madueke for the second half if we need to prise open a stubborn defence.

Although many commentators are pointing out that our unrequited Xg means that sooner or later we will give someone a proper pummelling, I can’t foresee anything but a tight, hard fought affair and an angst-ridden end to proceedings. To me, it feels like being another nervy 2-1 to the Arsenal.

Enjoy the game, Holics, if you can, wherever you are watching.

Go win Arsenal!

A cold Saturday in December and that rarest of rarities, a 3pm kick off. All is good with the world.  Or so it seemed until around 4.15 pm yesterday when our old friends panic and passivity (thank you, Bath) turned up like Marley’s ghost, very nearly to ruin things.

Even before the game began there were a couple of problems. Timber was nowhere to be seen on the timesheet and then, in the warm up, Calafiori pulled up and had to go and sit with the Sick, Lame and Lazy club, to be replaced on the teamsheet by MLS.  If Mikel asked for a full complement of healthy defenders from Santa this Christmas, he didn’t get it.  Perhaps he just addressed the letter poorly and sent it to Satan instead. In any case, this meant that we had Declan Rice at right back, not where we want to watch him, but needs must when the devil micturates on your cornflakes.  The bench was incredibly strong, welcoming back Big Gabby. In fact, the discussion turned at one point to whether having the name Gabby was compulsory in terms of bench sitting, as we had three of them on there. The only change to the expected subs was the addition of 16-year-old Marli Salmon as now the only actual defender on the bench. 

In the first minute, a lofted pass from Trossard was played behind the tree-sized oaf that is Lewis Dunk and Gyökeres forced his way to the ball very well, only for his technique to fail; instead of the delicate lob with his right instep which I think he was trying to pull off, he tamely caressed the ball in the manner of a back pass to the keeper. Not an auspicious start for him.  Arsenal had begun breezily enough, with lots of possession and Ødegaard and Saka in particular buzzing around, keeping the ball moving, and moving forward. Saka had a couple of attempts from the right side where was he was, not at all in the spirit of Christmas, torturing the Brighton left back. Then on 13 minutes, the boisterous, well lubricated crowd was rewarded with a superbly taken strike from Ødegaard.  The Arsenal press forced the Brighton keeper into a poor clearance which was won by Saliba. The ball bobbled towards Rice, venturing into midfield as is his wont, who headed on to Saka.  Gyökeres made a good distracting run, allowing Saka to take time off from providing his Left-Back Torturing 101 course, and pass the ball inside to Ødegaard, who controlled instantly, looked up and hammered his shot into the near post side of the goal, between two defenders, giving the keeper no chance. A laser-guided effort, which we all hope will signal the return of the finishing we know and love.  

The game continued in the same vein for the rest of the half, with Brighton playing as instructed by their odious manager, committing fouls, for some of which the referee even managed to award us free kicks.  We were well on top and on another day, we would have gone in for oranges another goal or two up. Profligacy, the third P in Bath’s unholy trinity, was our watchword, however.   There was still time for a piece of Christmas pantomime, when with the whistle about to blow, MLS played a ball up the left-hand channel for Gyökeres to chase. This he did and touched the ball past the, for some reason, out-rushing goalkeeper, way out of his box and close to the touchline. The keeper clearly saw that he had misjudged Gyökeres’ pace and cleaned him out. The referee gave a yellow but everyone in the ground was frankly expecting VAR to overturn it for the obvious red it was, for a high, late, dangerous, pre-meditated foul. I don’t know how many other criteria there are supposed to be for a red card. It ticked all of the boxes for me. Perhaps the fact that Gyökeres’ touch might have been taking the ball out played a part.  You will be unsurprised to hear that I thought it was, yet again, poor refereeing. A view which was echoed by many downstairs at the bar in Block 10 at half time.

The second half kicked off with Brighton making a couple of changes. De Cuyper, the hapless, tortured left back, had decided that he could take no more and was allowed a reprieve from The Rack, to be replaced by Wieffer, who fared little better. Gruda, whoever he was, was replaced by the very quick and troublesome Minteh. Immediately the game restarted, you could see that Brighton had been revved up by the odious German.  That said, 6 minutes into the half a deflected effort from Saka went out for a corner taken from the left-hand side of the Northbank by Rice. The viciously inswinging near-post delivery tempted the Brighton forward Rutter into attempting a header, but he succeeded only in wrong-footing his own keeper, planting the ball into the back of the net. That 12th man of ours, Owen Goal, had made another unscheduled appearance. Good!

We seemed to take that as our cue to draw them on, allowing them both more time on the ball and space into which to attack. We still had a couple of decent efforts, one from a typically bustling run and shaking off of a defender by Gyökeres fairly stung the hands of the keeper. However these were becoming more fitful and it came as a surprise to nobody to see Brighton pull one back on 63 minutes when a speculative effort from Ayari on the edge of the box rebounded off the post straight out into the middle of the area, rather than towards the touchline as one might have expected from the angle of the shot, and Gomez hammered home into an empty net.  This giving away preventable, even if well taken, goals is becoming as predictable as the scheduling of Home Alone and The Great Escape on tv on Christmas Day. Minteh then had an effort from the right-hand side of the box which was flashing towards the top right of Raya’s goal until the keeper pulled off a save of which the great custodians of the past, Messrs Wilson and Seaman, would have been proud. Moments like this win games and potentially titles. Hincapié then saved Raya’s blushes from a left hand side corner, under which the keeper got stuck and the header from Wieffer was deflected over as a result of the Ecuadorean’s superb effort. A few minutes later, and with the level of edginess and disquiet among both home team and fans becoming more apparent, Mikel made some timely changes, bringing off MLS and Gyökeres for Big Gabby and Jesùs. Both these subs were welcomed loudly, as was Danny Welbeck who came on for Brighton a couple of minutes later. Well played, the Arsenal fans. 10 minutes later the bench was completely denuded of Gabbies when Martinelli came on for Trossard, who had had a good game. If Eze wants to play more than a bit part role, he really has to sit down and look at the effort put in by the two players currently in front of him on the left-sided forward role.

Brighton continued to press for an equaliser and the anxiety level continued to rise, In truth we still had a good couple of efforts, one from Martinelli provided by Saka, who had clearly not tired from his role as Left-Back Torturer General, perhaps ought to have been converted. The subs did give is a bit more control, notably from Jesùs, whom I hope Gyökeres is studying closely, as he was able to win balls against 2 defenders on more than one occasion, which Viktor notably wasn’t.  Finally, the referee blew the whistle and the roof came off the ground.

Onward to Tuesday night and the visit of in-form Villa. We owe them for the last-minute defeat we suffered a few weeks ago. I hope Mikel is getting in a pre-emptive request to Santa for some fit defenders.  Can someone please make sure it is correctly addressed.

October reprise please!

And so to the Stadium of Stone for something of a novelty, a 3pm kickoff on a Saturday, when Brighton rock into town. It will be the first time we have played them at home between Christmas and New Year’s Day — my late entry for the most useless stat of the year award.

Brighton and Hove Albion is a relative parvenu at top-table. We first met 14 of the current Premier League clubs in a Football League game more than a century ago, and three others more than half a century ago. Brighton did not reach the top flight for the first time until 1979, and quickly fell from grace with relegation in 1983. Only Bournemouth (2015) is a more recent ascendant.

The first time Brighton visited Highbury was in November 1979. They were beaten 3-0 thanks to goals from Graham Rix (a thunderbolt that some reports say burst the net), a penalty by Liam Brady and a late strike by Alan Sunderland.

It was the third game of the season between the two sides. The reverse league fixture and a League Cup tie had been played earlier at the Goldstone Ground. In all three games, Brighton failed to score.

However, there is nothing new under the sun, Brighton’s manager, Allan Mullery, claimed that the penalty should never have been awarded (you can take the boy out of Spurs, and all that) and Sunderland pulled his hamstring when stretching to score his goal, putting him out of a forthcoming European Cup Winners Cup tie in Magdeburg that club captain Pat Rice was also set to miss through injury.

Brighton’s ability to establish itself in the Premier League since returning in 2017 is largely down to some well-timed managerial hirings – peak Graham Potter and early Roberto De Zerbi — and a recruitment department that has a gimlet eye for overlooked young talent — Caicedo, Cucurella, Joao Pedro, MacAllister, Bissouma, Adinga, Undai and Robert Sanchez, for example. They realised a combined €375 million. To that, add the €58.5 million we paid for Benny Blanco, topped up by €24 million for Leandro Trossard.

Hürzeler

This is the third season in charge for the 32-year-old Texas-born Swiss-German Fabian Hürzeler, a coach who has not endeared himself to many fans of other teams. For the Seagulls’ faithful, however, he has led their team to eighth and ninth place finishes, which has only been surpassed once—the sixth place achieved in De Zerbi’s first season.

Brighton currently sits ninth, above Everton on goal difference, but as close to 15th as to eighth. Its league record is six wins, six draws and five losses for 24 points, with 25 goals scored and 23 conceded. Their sixth draw came last weekend, a drab 0-0 affair at home to Sunderland.

Although he presents his team sheet as a 4-2-3-1, his system is essentially a conservative version of De Zerbi’s 3-2-4-1. In possession, Brighton builds from the back with a base of three, two midfielders dropping in centrally for the ‘third-man’ passes, one of the two full-backs pushing high and wide, and two of the attacking midfielders completing the midfield box. Out of possession, Brighton collapses back into a 5-2-3 as soon as their fast press to regain possession fails, providing some protection against swift counterattacks. In his most recent visit to the Emirates, for October’s League Cup tie, Hürzeler deployed a 5-2-3 from the off, and lost 2-0.

Fun fact about Hürzeler: both his parents are dentists. An unhappy couple; they always look down in the mouth. I’ll get my coat.

The opposition

Dutch international Bart Verbruggen is now established as first-choice glove butler ahead of Jason Steele. 

Immediately ahead of him, the hulking Lewis Dunk, who has been with Brighton since joining its U-12s in 2003, is set to return from a one-match ‘five-yellows’ suspension. Jan Paul van Hecke has been ill but is likely to be available to be alongside him in the middle of the back line. Either the Monégasque Olivier Boscagli, a summer arrival on a free transfer from PSV, or the young Italy international Diego Coppola, who came in July from Hellas Verona, will fill in, if needed. 

The full-backs-cum-wing-backs that are key to Hürzeler’s system should be Netherlands international Mats Wieffer on the right and the Dutch-born Turkey international Ferdi Kadıoğlu on the left. Another Netherlands international, Jan Veltman, and Belgium international Maxim De Cuyper, who arrived in the summer from Club Brugge, will be the fresh legs for those positions, respectively. De Cuyper has also been used further forward on the left.

The highly rated DM Carlos Baleba will miss the game because he is with the Cameroon national squad at the Africa Cup of Nations. That likely means 22-year-old Yasin Ayari, who has recently nailed down a place in the Sweden side, will join the even younger Worthing-born Jack Hinshelwood in the midfield engine room. 

Since mid-November, the tenacious Hinshelwood has been playing himself back into the team after a ligament injury, before which he was the regular left-back for England’s U-21s, with MLS skipping that rung of the national age group teams to go straight into the senior squad.

Nor let us forget James Milner, who will turn 40 on January 4, but still gets minutes off the bench. He is the oldest active player in the Premier League. You are now free to forget him again.

The attacking midfielders will likely be the speedy 21-year-old Gambian winger Yankuba Minteh and 22-year-old Paraguay international Diego Gómez, who missed last weekend’s Sunderland game because of a five-yellows suspension, plus one of  21-year-old Brajan Gruda, who has been called up by Germany but not yet capped, 19-year old Tom Watson, who has a couple of England U-21 caps and was bought from Sunderland in the summer for €12 million, and the comparative veteran, at 28-years old, Japan international Kaoru Mitoma, who has struggled to hold down a starting place this season.

Hnshelwood’s 17-year-old cousin, midfielder Harry Howell, whom Hürzeler has tagged as a future star, might get a spot on the bench.

The tall Frenchman Georginio Rutter is expected to start up front. Hürzeler is short of attackers. Danny Welbeck, Brighton’s top scorer this term with seven and formerly of this parish, has a lower back injury. He will likely be only fit enough for the bench. Another alum, Amario Cozier-Duberry, who we sold to Brighton in 2024, is on loan at Bolton. 

It is likely too soon for winger Solly March, who has been sidelined with a knee injury, to return, while 19-year-old Stefanos Tzimas, acquired from Nuremberg last February for €26.5 million, has an ACL injury. Charalampos Kostoulas, a year younger than his fellow Greek but whose promise induced Brighton to pay Olympiacos €35 million for him in the summer, is being gradually introduced to the rigours of Premier League football.

The Arsenal

Our team against Brighton will more resemble the one that finished the League Cup tie against Palace than the one that started it. Piero Hincapié and Gabriel Martinelli are unlikely to be available due to knocks. Arteta teased Kai Havertz’s potential return, but a spot on the bench for the Villa game seems more likely. 

Therefore:

Raya

Timber, Saliba, Calafiori, Lewis-Skelly

Ødegaard, Zubimendi, Rice

Saka, Gyökeres, Trossard

For the second consecutive league match, we could be off the top by the time we kick off on Saturday, so this is yet another must-win game. Brighton lost two and drew two of their four most recent games and have not scored in three. On the other side of the ledger, they have lost only three of their eight Premier League visits.

Hopefully, some of the team discovered new shooting boots when they opened their stockings, and the whole team will find some festive fluidity in front of a home crowd. 3-0 to the team in Santa’s colours.

Enjoy the game, ‘holics, near and far.

The Arsenal squeezed through to the semi finals of the Carabao Cup on penalties against FA cup holders Crystal Palace on an eventful night in N5. 

Arteta named a strong side despite making eight changes. Cup ‘keeper Kepa deputised for Raya, MLS made a rare start as did Nørgaard, whilst Jesùs made his first start since returning from almost a year on the sidelines. 

We started very strongly as the first half saw us create a whole host of chances. Noni Madueke went close on three occasions as the Palace ‘keeper was forced into making save after save. First he fired straight down the keeper’s throat after being sent through on goal. Then he flicked the ball straight at Benitez after great work from Martinelli who was having a productive night. 

Moments later Martinelli drove at his right back and delivered a delicious cross for Jesùs who thought he headed home only for another wonderful save from Benitez. We weren’t knocking on the door, we were hammering it down, but Benitez was acting as a force field around the goal and we just couldn’t force the ball home. 

Madueke went close again from an MLS cross after yet more good work from Martinelli down the left hand side but Noni fired too close to Benitez who parried the ball over. Palace improved after the break seeing more of the ball without really creating an awful lot. Adam Wharton fired wide from a decent position just outside the area but Arsenal soon regained control and we went close again as Gabriel Jesùs forced yet another save out of Benitez after a really impressive break away move involving several players. Would it be another one of those nights for The Arsenal? In recent seasons we’ve seen a number of cup exits after failing to take a raft of chances. 

Ten minutes from time we finally found a way through and once again it came from a corner. Saka’s delivery was typically excellent, Calafiori’s initial header was blocked, leading to an almighty scramble in the six yard box, and the ball eventually bumbled in off Palace defender Maxence Lacroix for an unfortunate OG! A slice of luck for sure but one we had certainly earned through our endeavour.

Timber almost found a second after robbing Mitchell in front of his own goal but Benitez again made himself big to keep Palace in the tie. And eventually we did pay the price for our missed chances as Saliba gave away a cheap foul near the touchline and Guehi prodded home and there was bedlam from the Palace fans who were housed in the Clock End lower. Disappointing after giving away practically nothing over the 90 minutes. 

We almost won it right at the death as Saka’s diagonal ball found Rice who was denied again by Benitez. Penalties it was. You could really feel the tension in the ground. I think we all knew what the narrative would be if we lost this. 

The penalty shoot out was quite the spectacle. Despite Benitez’s heroics in normal time, he couldn’t get near a single Arsenal penalty. He wasn’t the only one. Ødegaard, Rice, Saka, Trossard, Merino, Timber, Calafiori and Saliba all dispatched their penalties as did the first seven Palace takers. But Lacroix, who had already suffered misfortune with the own goal was the first one to blink as Kepa finally made a save. Arsenal were through to the semis for the second year in a row and it is Chelsea who await us. That’s a two-legged tie, don’t forget. 

You can’t deny we deserved to go through but it’s a slight concern that we missed so many chances. In fairness, it’s not as though we were missing sitters, but Manchester City probably convert 2-3 of those chances. But the records will state another win, and our pursuit of an unprecedented quadruple goes on! 

Onto Brighton. 

Shoehorn 
– noun: a curved instrument used for easing one’s heel into a shoe
– verb: force into an inadequate space

Tomorrow evening will see us welcome Crystal Place to The Arsenal in the quarter finals of the Carabao Cup. Seem familiar? It is of course just like last year – we won that won 3-2 with a returning Gabriel Jesus notching a hat-trick to see us through. The draw for the semi-finals has already taken place and so we know the winner will advance into the semi-finals to play Chelsea over two legs in January and February of next year.  An unwanted distraction or an opportunity for a trophy? This has been an annual debate across the Goonerverse over the last few seasons. Happily, I will do us all the favour of not rehashing the various arguments for and against, I think we all know them by now, and just leave it to you to make up your own mind.  

However, turning to this particular game, there has already been a lot of noise about it being shoehorned into the busy schedules of both clubs. It should have been played last week but was delayed as Palace are in the Conference League too – their cup runneth over!!  In fact, my headline is just a smidge misleading in this case as there was no conundrum in the minds of powers that be……the Conference League is officially the more prestigious of these two great competitions. I don’t know about anyone else but I for one am glad that we got that one cleared up as I could find absolutely nothing between them in my own analysis. Cynicism aside, the situation is what it is and, personally, I take the somewhat obvious position of preferring The Arsenal to win than to lose, and I am fairly sure Mikel will have a similar attitude, regardless of the XI he finally selects. Although, if, in his pre-match interview he confides to an astonished interviewer that “Honestly guvnor, I couldn’t really give a monkey’s one way or the other about the result tonight and I just picked the team out of Georgie Graham’s circa 1993 magic hat”, then I will stand corrected. 

Our Carabao XI

In terms of our XI, I think we all expect a much-changed side. A hard-fought victory at Everton, and next up Brighton and Villa at home in quick succession in games which will certainly have priority in the minds of both the club and most supporters. But, who then? Well, given Jesùs’s last two performances against Palace (he followed up his hat-trick last year with a brace in the league game a few days later) it must surely be written in the starlight and every line on Mikel’s palm that his should be the first name on the team sheet. For the rest, Kepa in goal plus all the ones I don’t think will start against Brighton or Villa is pretty much the basis for my selection. Except for the centre backs where we have an actual Carabao conundrum – we would probably prefer to rest Timber, Saliba, Hincapié and Calafiori but which ones will start because needs must when the stupid football authority devil drives? My own thought is that Hincapié starts simply because Gabriel is back soon, Calafiori doesn’t start because MLS is available, Saliba or Timber? I think one has to start unless MA is going to play both Nicholls and Salmon on the right-hand side of defence. That youth alternative would be very bold but I doubt MA will go that far. 

Another viable option already taken is Nørgaard, or, thinking within the squad, then I suppose Rice, or even Mr Useful, Mikel Merino. I have ruled out Declan as even though he seems like an Energizer bunny he really isn’t and anyway even that bunny conks out eventually – they just didn’t show it on the TV as obviously the kids wouldn’t like a cute little bunny doing a ligament in front of their blessed little eyes, would they? My own view is that Saliba starts as Nørgaard is needed more elsewhere and Saliba, grizzled veteran that he now is, can guide one of the youngsters through. Not a particularly original line of reasoning I will own but it’s all I’ve got. I imagine that about seven or eight may even be right on the night. 

Kepa

Salmon Saliba Hincapié MLS

Nørgaard Nwaneri Eze

Madueke Jesùs Martinelli

The Opposition

Crystal Palace have been having a fairly mixed season so far; eye-catching results followed by disappointing defeats in the Premier League see them currently sitting in 8th place after their encouraging whacking at Leeds. I saw the Leeds highlights and they looked poor at set pieces – the encouraging part – but then again, I did watch them last weekend as they impressively outplayed Man City for the first 35 minutes and spurned several presentable chances. Haaland inevitably punished such wastefulness and instead of being two or three goals to the good they somehow went in one-nil down. A look at their record this season tells the same story – whilst Mateta and Sarr (off at AFCON) have good reputations, and are certainly dangerous forwards on their day, they are not prolific. We contained them fairly comfortably at home in a 1-0 win this October, but they did until just recently have a solid defence – it was second only to ours until they suddenly shipped seven in two games.

Of course, who will actually start for them is, just like us, another question entirely – Glasner has selected reasonably strong sides in the Carabao so far but also left out three or four regulars in previous rounds. Last week’s fake CL game against KUPS however saw Glasner send for the kids and it was a very young outfit that eventually fell 2-1 behind at home to a team that I have never heard of (they play in the Veikkausliga in Finland, I learned) and hadn’t scored an away goal in the competition until then. KUPS must have liked the feeling as they scored another soon after. Glasner was at this point forced to send for the calvary to try for the highly-desired top 8 place. Alas, they could only salvage a 2-2 draw and, what I am sure must be an unwelcome place in the two-leg Conference League play-offs in February. Glasner gambled and lost, though to be fair he has gambled and won a few times and so I am sure his credit is still good at the Crystal Palace bank.

However, the fact remains they are stretched thin and will certainly have to stretch further and thinner in the months to come. Given their decent league placing, will Glasner really go full out for this one? A surprise real CL place might well be up for grabs this season, but most probably he will hedge, leave a few on the bench and play a fairly strong XI again. I don’t much care who he picks to be honest – I don’t mean that unkindly (for a change!), it’s just that they have a lot of solid Premier League standard players so unless Glasner picks the kids again it won’t make much difference. It would be nice to see Eddie I suppose – don’t score this time mind Eddie. 

Reading the tea leaves

Time to bring this longer than usual waffle to the sharp end of the forecasting business. As mentioned above we have already rolled Palace over at home once this season and I can see no reason why we shouldn’t do so again.  In fact, we have won seven and drawn one of our last eight games against them and that’s the sort of record that gives a man confidence when a half-chance presents itself on a cold December evening. Certainly, we may not have as strong a team as usual but then it is likely that they won’t either. Eberechi Eze proved the difference last time we played and, as mentioned, Gabi J proved it twice in quick succession last season. Add to that the fact that the Arsenal Women rolled over Palace 2-0 this weekend in the Some Sort of Bad Food Cup quarter-finals and you would have to have got an E in tasseography not to see the writing at the bottom of the cup. Yes, it’s a goal each for Gabi J and Eberechi and a 2-0 win to send our Gooner faithful home happy. A word of caution – it is my sacred duty as a responsible correspondent to remind readers at this point that gambling based on tea leaves is a mug’s game.

It only remains then to wish one and all a grand evening / early morning and a successful Arsenal performance to fill us all with the Christmas cheer of our choice! 

Merry Xmas to all my fellow Goonerholics everywhere!! 

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