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You Can Stick Your Remontada Up Your Arse!

Apr 17th, 2025 by

Ever since that glorious night at the Emirates last week we have been monumentally gaslighted by Real Madrid, aided and accompanied by most of the British press. You might be three goals up, but we are Real Madrid in the Bernabeu and nobody beats us there. We will sweep back to beat you because that’s what we do. We are Los Blancos. And do you know what? Us Arsenal fans bought it. Every Gooner I know was nervous last night and my phone was buzzing with nervous messages.

Madrid was full of Gooners, including our very own CER who had made the trip from Winchmore Hill. My timeline was full of pictures and videos of Gooners drinking beer and eating tapas. FOMO much? Well maybe just a bit, but I cannot do these long overseas trips any more. Our fans were up in the Gods, similar to St James Park. 

Our line up was as follows, the same starting XI as in the first leg:

Raya, Timber, Saliba, Kiwior, MLS, Ødegaard, Partey, Rice, Saka, Merino and Martinelli.

We had an early scare when the ball was in the Arsenal net, but Mbappe was five yards offside. Alaba commited a shocking foul on our Myles and was rightly booked. After 10 minutes we had a corner. Rice put it in and the ball was cleared. But the ref stopped play and VAR sent him to the screen. Ascensio had pulled down Merino. Penalty!

Saka stepped up but unaccountably tried a panenka to the right of Courtois. The big man reached up and easily clawed it away. A great chance missed and maybe a psychological shift? It looked like it when, following an innocuous cross into the Arsenal box, Mbappe tumbled to the ground when next to Rice and the ref gave a penalty. Worse he then gave a yellow card to Rice who would miss the next game. 

There then followed an interminable wait, over five minutes, for VAR. We and all the commentators were convinced it was nonsense (and that there was an offside to boot). Finally the ref was sent again to the screen. A long wait while he watched the play over and over. Finally he stepped away and dramatically crossed his arms indicating no foul, no penalty and no card for Rice. The crowd were furious. Did this French referee not know where he was? Decisions are never given against Real Madrid in the Bernabeu! I’ll tell you this for nothing – that penalty decision would not have been reversed by a PGMOL ref in the Prem. 

A real turning point in the game. You could hear the Arsenal fans singing loudly. 30 minutes had passed and there was no score. Time passed. Seven minutes of added time were given, mainly due to the lengthy VAR delays. We easily saw them out. First object achieved. An exhausting and nerve wracking first half that seemed to last forever.

Real Madrid 0-0 Arsenal (HT)

No changes by either team at half time. On 55 minutes you could hear the Arsenal fans giving it the Ole’s. In the Bernabeu. Amazing. On came Dani Ceballos (drinks Estrella, eats paella), Endrick and Garcia for Rodrygo, Vasquez and Alaba. We saw yet another foul from Rudiger, this time for stamping on MLS. He has clearly inherited the invisibility cloak previous worn by Rodri. How had he avoided a yellow?

On 63 minutes, delirium. Merino, after good work by Rice and Odegaard, neatly played in Saka, who deliciously chipped the ball over the charging Courtois.

YES, YES, YES!

Real Madrid 0-1 Arsenal (Saka 63)

But, just two minutes later, Saliba seemed not to see Vinicius Jr, who robbed him and put the ball in the net. Oh Willy! Back to just a three goal lead!

Real Madrid 1-1 Arsenal (Vinicius Jr 65)

Modric came on for Ascensio. Mbappe limped off for Diaz. Trossard came on for Saka. In the 85th minute, Partey reacted to a foul by Rudiger and was yellow carded. Oh Thomas! He now misses the first leg of the semi final. Rice was visibly furious with him. 

Our fans were now throughly enjoying themselves. You could hear them very clearly on the TV.

Come to see The Arsenal! You’ve only come to see The Arsenal!

Are you Tottenham in disguise?

Everywhere we goooo, stadiums get empty!

Five extra minutes. Real Madrid continued to just throw in crosses which were easily nodded away. After one of these crosses, Merino (who was superb) brought the ball forward. He timed his pass to Martinelli beautifully. He burnt off the defender, opened his body and slid it past Courtois, Henry style. Truly, in the home of bullfighting, the coup de grace. We had just beaten Real Madrid 2-1 on the night and 5-1 on aggregate. 

This was a magnificent performance by the whole team. I will single out the superlative Rice, Saka, Merino (two superb assists), Myles Lewis-Skelly, Kiwior, Saliba and Timber. Real Madrid have still not beaten us in the Champions League (played 4, won three, drawn 1). We are in the semi final against PSG. This was a coming of age performance for this team. I am so proud of them.

Bring it on.

Posted in Match Report | 39 Drinks »

Play the Opposition not the Occasion

Apr 15th, 2025 by

So, the moment of truth is upon us. This may sound all very dramatic – maybe even melodramatic – and I expect that a lot of Arsenal supporters are not going to share this emotion: but I feel that it is absolutely necessary for this incarnation of Arsenal that they don’t give up the advantage they have so impressively gained, by virtue of nothing but the merits of their own performance in the first leg of the Champions League quarter-finals. A CL away match against the most decorated club in Europe at their home ground is always a challenging proposition, and there is no doubt a manager as astute and successful as Ancelotti will get his star-studded team to dig deep and perform to the very best of their abilities, individually and collectively, in front of a charged home crowd that must have been licking the damaging wounds to their ego for the last week while dreaming of a record-breaking revenge. 

For a club of Arsenal’s pedigree, history of pioneering contributions to football, and impressive record of domestic success, our European campaigns have been laced with poisonous failures, leaving behind a bitter sense of underachievement. We have never won the premium European championship in any of its versions, and even among the second-tier of continental competitions, we have won only two trophies, the last of which coming thirty one years ago in the ‘94 Cup Winners Cup, when George Graham’s famously impregnable back five – Seaman; Dixon, Adams, Bould, Winterburn – demonstrated a defensive masterclass against the high-flying Parma to hold on to a slim 1-0 advantage engineered by Alan Smith playing as a solitary striker in the absence of a suspended Ian Wright. Since then there have been multiple heartbreaks, including losses in finals, and even the greatest Arsenal team of modern times – the peak of Arsène’s marauding Invincibles – inexplicably underachieved in Europe. 

However, it is not in the laws of physics that we are all condemned to repeat our past forever. If anything, Mikel Arteta and his players, while being respectful to the greatness of the past, seem ambitiously intent on creating their own history, defining their own legacy. Despite the steadily upward curve of Arsenal’s on-field progress in recent years, it just feels that this team needs a signature success to really convince them of their own ceiling, which I believe is as high as any other club in Europe at this point of time. 

Without looking too far ahead, beating Real Madrid over a two-legged tie in a CL quarter-final will definitely provide such a defining moment in the journey of Mikel’s team. Yes, there are no trophies given out for making it to the semis, but given that we haven’t played in a CL semi-final since 2009, just arriving there by overcoming the European might of Madrid will be an important milestone. And once in the semis, there is always the possibility of even the unlikeliest of dreams coming true. 

While our famous, and history making, 3-0 home win in the first leg will always be remembered for two magnificent free-kick goals from Declan Rice, the foundation of that performance was built on defensive composure and quality, tactical and positional solidity, and a genuine self-belief while attacking. That performance also demonstrated a growing maturity from Arteta himself, who dialed down the excessive choreography of our attacking play and trusted his players more with their instinctive decision making, albeit within the framework of a meticulous tactical blueprint. 

I see that some in the mushrooming world of football pundits had easily explained away Arsenal’s performance and result as some kind of collective collapse of Madrid stalwarts – but like much of football punditry nowadays, I think opining that Modrić-Camavinga-Bellingham-Mbappé-Rodrygo-Vinicius all suddenly had a terrible day together is a particularly lazy theorizing. Ancelotti had set up his team cleverly enough, trying to slow the game down to lull Arsenal into making mistakes, hoping we over-elaborate in our build-up play, and then counter with the speed and technical brilliance of their forward players. On another day that plan might have worked out perfectly for them, but there was a clarity in Arsenal’s approach and an alertness in our game management that turned Madrid’s pretend passivity against them. 

Back home at Bernabéu, chasing a three goal deficit, and buoyed by a vociferous home crowd who are hungry for revenge, Real will come at us at a dizzying speed from the first whistle. If we set up over-defensively hoping to protect our three goal lead, we will play right into their strength and the tie can quickly slip away. The best way to protect the lead will be to keep Madrid defensively honest, and play positively with attacking intent. In the match at the Emirates, despite conceding three (unstoppable) goals, Courtois put in a magnificent performance in their goal and if not for some of his extraordinary saves – and a couple of goal-line defensive clearances by his team-mates – we could have scored even more. We should keep that in mind and try to score goals, while ensuring that we do not take unnecessary risks. That is, play just as we played at home, maybe with a few minor defensive tweaks such as Martinelli & Saka sticking tighter to Rodrygo & Vinicius when they have the ball, and Rice (or Merino) ensuring that the space between Kiwior and Lewis-Skelly doesn’t become too open and wide whenever Myles goes on one of his superbly effective runs through the middle.   

Our only previous experience at the Bernabéu was of course the famous 1-0 victory in the first leg of the ‘Round of 16’ en route to the final, courtesy of Henry’s iconic goal (and even more iconic celebration) in the 47th minute. Arsenal’s starting back four that day in front of Jens Lehman was, famously, Eboué-Touré-Senderos-Flamini, facing Beckham-Guti-Zidane-Robinho-Ronaldo (“O Fenômeno”), though in midfield and attack Henry was ably supported by Reyes-Gilberto Silva-Hleb-Ljungberg and the rapidly emerging Fabregas. That has remained one of our more memorable CL away victories – the most memorable for me was the merciless 5-1 dismantling of a great Inter Milan side at San Siro in the Invincibles season. I feel that the current Arsenal squad has all the potential to become the most ever successful of all Arsenal teams in Europe. Whereas winning the league remains a very tangible and achievable goal in the near future – mysterious refereeing decisions notwithstanding – though likely not this season, winning the CL can usher in a new era of unprecedented prominence to a club whose current coaching team and playing squad have the rare combination of potential, drive and humility to be the very best. 

This away tie can go a long way to inspiring this team towards that goal, whether we end the season trophyless or not. And I believe that we are well capable of beating Madrid over a two-legged tie. This Wednesday evening at the Bernabéu is not going to be an easy experience for the Arsenal squad, Mikel and the coaching team. They will have to live through some very difficult moments, and have to be able to strike a precariously fine balance between tactical preparedness and the ability to address whatever challenges the match situation throws up. They will have to overcome any lingering inner doubts and uncertainties, and will have to make their individual abilities count with efficiency and ruthlessness. Not only the starting eleven, but the bench too will have to play their part to respond to the demands of the closing minutes. All that said, I am optimistic that the best version of this team – even with all the key injuries – have just the right mix of the technical and the physical, the tactical and the temperamental, the determination and the ambition, to create another memorably joyous European evening for all Arsenal supporters.  

The traveling faithful will definitely need to play their part, and for those of us who will be watching from all over the world, these ninety minutes might feel like an eternity, an eternity that would hopefully end with a cathartic release for the Arsenal team, the kind of eternity that  we would be willing to relive again and again in coming years.

Mikel will likely start with a predictable first eleven:       

Raya

Timber – Saliba – Kiwior – Lewis-Skelly 

Partey

Ødegaard – Rice 

Saka – Merino – Martinelli  

Martin has been somewhat sub-par this season in terms of his creative influence and impact, especially since returning from his injury. And even though his workrate and control in midfield has been impactful, he just hasn’t created enough moments in the final third. I am sure that somewhere in the back of his mind he had been nurturing a hope to go back to Madrid with Arsenal one of these days and remind everyone of the player that he always was meant to become. This can be a match where he rediscovers the full range of his creative impetus and his peerless technical abilities. Madrid, needing to attack from the first minute, will inevitably open up the kind of spaces that Saka and Martinelli both thrive in, in their different but complementary ways. An early goal for Arsenal would fully settle our nerves and will create that extra degree of desperation among the Real players that can then be exploited. 

Whereas we drew at home on Saturday against a feisty and spirited Brentford side, Real played Alavés away on Sunday, and managed a 0-1 away victory despite Mbappé being sent off in the 38th minute, the solitary goal coming from Camavinga who won’t play against us, as he is suspended. Looking at that starting line-up, Ancelotti rested Modrić, Bellingham, Vinicius and Brahim, while Mbappé and Rodrygo started. I think all six of them will start against us. And even though people made derisive comments about Modrić’s performance against us – for he was effectively nullified by the front-footed pressing from Partey-Ødegaard-Rice – I think he remains a uniquely capable player who can exploit even the smallest gaps or lapses of concentration in the opposition defense to supply his forward line with perfectly placed and weighted through balls. Saliba & Kiwior will have to be at their very best, and the midfield will need to repeat their high pressing performance from last Tuesday and not give Modrić & Bellingham any time on the ball. They played in a 4-1-4-1 formation at the weekend, and that may very well be the dress rehearsal for this Wednesday, with  Modrić playing deeper behind Vinicius-Bellingham-Diaz-Rodrygo and Mbappé in the number 9 role. A key match-up would be between Saka and their left back, whether that would be the experienced Alaba or the younger Fran García, who started on Sunday, will give us a clue to the mindset with which Ancelotti will want to chase the game. Saka should find more space afforded to him than he finds in the  PL, and if he can make a telling early contribution, Arsenal will be able to find a stronger foothold in the game.         

I think a determined and disciplined – but not overly defensive – performance with a degree of ruthlessness in attack can very well see us winning this match 2-1, and winning the tie. 

Come on Arsenal!  

Posted in Match Preview | 33 Drinks »

Bees Spoil The Partey

Apr 13th, 2025 by

How would the Arsenal line up ? That was the question occupying everyone before kick off against Brentford in the warm, early evening, spring sunshine on Saturday. With players returning from injury, players in or on the edge of the red zone, and some players who surely just couldn’t be risked ahead of the Champions League 1/4 Final second leg in Madrid in four days time, Mikel Arteta had some testing choices to make.

His lineup in the event was – Raya; Partey, Saliba, Kiwior, Tierney; Jorginho, Rice, Zinchenko; Nwaneri, Trossard, Martinelli;

Lewis-Skelly, Merino, Timber, Odegaard, Saka and Sterling, among others, were on the bench. Ben White was not, which implies more problems following his knee surgery. Presumably we would see Thomas Partey inverting from the right as MLS was not playing and inverting does not fall naturally within Kieran Tierney’s compass on the left. 

There is always a nervousness amongst the fans when Jakub Kiwior has to stand in for Gabriel – not surprisingly when you lose a player of such quality – but a glance at his stats is quite reassuring. In his last 19 games (including today) Arsenal have won 15, drawn 4, lost 0, conceded 19 and 9 clean sheets. He did really well against Real Madrid in the week and was not to be blamed for Brentford’s goal today. 

As Declan Rice practiced his fabulous, bendy free kicks in the sun, most of the Brentford players looked like they had gone en-masse to the apprentice barber during the week.

The game
“After the Lord Mayor’s show”, Bath wrote in his preview. What exactly does happen after the Lord Mayor’s show, I thought. A quick google, just for fun, revealed “After the Lord Mayor’s show comes the dust cart / donkey cart / shit cart” – Google’s words, not mine ! You decide!

I started taking notes for this report doing exactly what I always promise myself I won’t – logging times and events of everything that happened. In the cool light of a disappointing but not wholly unexpected result, I have scrapped that idea. There really wasn’t that much to rivet readers to a blow by blow account. 

Overall, Arsenal tried to play their neat, intricate football and clearly had the intention to win the game. A much changed side didn’t help with cohesion, and nor did a big, physical Brentford side who were allowed to get away with too much by Mr Whopper, the referee. Despite that we did manage to create several nice openings, just not the crucial, clear cut one we needed. Kieran Tierney did head home after 25 minutes from a superb in swinging cross from Ethan Nwaneri. Unfortunately, the 30 newly installed cameras for “semi automatic” VAR picked up the fact that Tierney was clearly offside – the clue being the Scot’s muted celebration. Gabriel Martinelli had a shot blocked by a desperate intervention by Ajer, Trossard had a shot saved after a great turn on the edge of the area, but a half in which we had forced 10 corners drew to a close with nothing on the scoreboard.

For their part, Brentford tried to break past Thomas Partey on our right hand side but had no way past William Saliba, who seems to play week after week with such an unhurried mastery. According to some on screen statistics, Brentford are ranked 1st among away teams in the Premier League in 2025. I’m in no position to deny that but in this first half they created nothing from their over hit balls lumped up the middle, most often by their goalkeeper.

Half time: Arsenal 0 – 0 Brentford

There were no changes at half time but there was a change of tempo. Martinelli swung in a great cross that Nwaneri just failed to connect with under pressure at the far post. Raya found Zinchenko with an excellent long clearance but as he ran into the box the Ukrainian got what Alan Smith described as a “ decent tactical nudge” from the Brentford defender. Most of us would describe it as a push in the back which knocked Zinchenko off balance, and the chance was gone. Mr Whopper was unbothered and play continued. 

On the hour mark Brentford won a corner. The ball was caught by Raya who rolled it out quickly to Declan Rice who rounded a challenge and galloped through the centre of the pitch. With perfect awareness and weight of pass he slid the ball in front of Thomas Partey, who had strained every sinew to keep up with the charge. Partey didn’t even have to break stride as he hit it hard first time past Flecken. A brilliant goal. That will teach them to attack, I thought to myself. Unfortunately, it did.

 Arsenal sent on Lewis-Skelly, Ødegaard and Saka for Zinchenko, Tierney and Nwaneri which re-energised both team and crowd. As the Arsenal drove forward looking for a second goal, Brentford broke into space which had opened up on our left hand side. Kayode overlapped and chipped a cross to the far post that was headed back for Wissa to spin and shoot past Raya. The Brentford striker decided to run into the corner in front of the North Bank and appeared to mock MLS’ Haaland impersonation, which all seemed a bit silly and unnecessary.

 We saw out the last 10 minutes with ten men after Jorginho was unable to carry on, having gone down in pain and seemingly pointing to his chest. So ended another game which Arsenal had dominated but couldn’t kill off. Another two points dropped to a team which offered almost nothing apart from their equalising goal.

Full time: Arsenal 1 – 1 Brentford

And so, any last hopes of the league title must surely now be gone. Liverpool need only three more wins. The third of them could well come against Tottenham Hotspur and past experience tells us what will happen there. An unbelievable injury list, a series of utterly ridiculous refereeing decisions and maybe a failure to recruit sufficiently into the forward department of the team have cost us a successful challenge for the title this season. 

I don’t like Thomas Frank and I don’t like Brentford FC. I’m not denying that Frank has done a good job for Brentford in that he has established them as a Premier League team. I know he doesn’t have the resources of the top clubs but this is supposed to be the best league in the world. His team play in his image and today spent the first half lumping long balls over the top as their only means of attack. In defence, out of possession they retreated into their own area and shifted between a 7-2-1 and an 8-2-0 formation.

 They are a big, physical team – nothing wrong with that – but they foul constantly, admittedly staying mostly the right side of dangerous. Not always though. Norgaard should have been sent off today for a scissor tackle from behind on Gabriel Martinelli that could have broken his leg or caused a very serious knee injury. Thomas Frank was waving at the referee trying to get Arsenal players carded while all this was going on.

Alan Smith, again disappointingly, describing Norgaard’s tackle said, “I don’t think he meant to bring him down from behind – he was more alongside him.” Yes he did and no he wasn’t!

Jamie Redknapp said he didn’t think it was a red card “because they’re never given – but it’s a really dangerous one.” More top punditry from the Redknapp family. He did actually do some serious backtracking after Steve Sidwell disagreed with him.

On MoTD Lineker, Shearer and Richards all said, “Red card!” Thomas Frank, asked about the result, said, “Arsenal are difficult to play against – they did quite well against Real Madrid, I think.”

You bet we did quite well against Real Madrid. We have it all to do again on Wednesday. The team can rest and recover now. What a shame this 90 minutes of energy sapping anti-football had to fall between the ties.

Posted in Match Report | 22 Drinks »

Can Our ‘B Team’ draw the Bees’ Sting?

Apr 11th, 2025 by

“After the Lord Mayor’s Show comes the rag parade” is a time honoured phrase that one of my father’s bridge partners used to deploy regularly to describe a disappointing hand at Bridge – a phrase repeated so often that it has been seared into my cortex. Hopefully it isn’t going to be an appropriate descriptor for this weekend’s match after the Arsenal’s phenomenal performance on Tuesday evening – widely and aptly described in the last few days as the greatest night in the Emirates Stadium’s history (so far) in the twenty years, or so, since it opened.

Next up, on Saturday evening, is a visit from Brentford FC. The Bees currently sit in 12th place on 42 points, 4 and 5 points above Manure and the Marshdwellers respectively, i.e. firmly mid table mediocity, safe from relegation but with little prospect of bagging a European place.

This is Brentford’s fourth successive season in the Premiership and they are on course to improve on last season’s 16th place which was a severe disappointment to them after their high-water mark of 9th in 22-23, after establishing themselves in 13th place on their return to the top flight the season before. Of course, we all remember their first game back in the top flight on Friday 13th August 2021 when the defeat at the Community Stadium of a patched-up Arsenal team bearing little resemblance to today’s eleven (only White, Tierney and Martinelli survive) provoked wild celebrations from the two most execrable pundits on the planet.

Since that defeat, we have won all but one of our six Premier League meetings – a draw at our place in February 2023 – usually by a one goal margin. The cumulative scoreline of all seven games in the Premiership era is 12-6 in our favour. Our results in the modern era stand in stark contrast to a dismal record against Brentford in the old First Division where, before their extended exile in 1947, they were, for no clear reason, Arsenal’s bogey team, against whom our record was two wins, three draws and five defeats with a cumulative scoreline of 8-14.

I have no reason to expect Thomas Frank’s philosophy to have radically changed since we beat them 3-1 at the Community Stadium on New Year’s Day with Mikel Merino providing a preview of his striking future by scoring our second goal. We can again expect a high press when we play out from the back, a congested central area of the pitch and a low block if we don’t move the ball swiftly upfield, then whenever we lose possession, a rapid transition to breakaway attacks involving Mbuemo, Wissa and Schade, supported by Damsgaard, Norgaard and the wing backs.

Brentford boast an excellent away record in 2025, having won five of their six Premier League matches on the road. Although they lost their last away game 2-1 to Newcastle, their prior away defeat was on 15 December, 2-1 at Chelsea. That was followed by a scoreless draw against Brighton before beginning a sequence of away victories: 0-5 at Southampton, 1-2 at Palace, 0-1 at West Ham, 0-4 at Leicester and 1-2 at Bournemouth. While the drubbings of hapless relegation fodder can be expected for any competent, well-organised team, the results against Palace and Bournemouth, and perhaps West Ham, are more impressive and suggest that Brentford will approach this game reasonably confidently. Especially as we played a demanding match against Real Madrid only 4 days before while they were being drilled by Thomas Frank all week on how to neutralise the Arsenal’s threat and exploit our weaknesses. We certainly can’t expect Brentford to roll over.

In selecting his team, I expect Mikel to have more than half an eye on the second leg against Los Blancos next Wednesday and to make as many changes to the obvious first XI as he did against Everton. Nonetheless, he will put out a team that he expects to win the game. Predicting his selection is therefore rather difficult. However, I think that players with recent fitness issues, such as Timber and Saka, will be rested for at least the first 45-60 minutes while I expect Partey, Martinelli and possibly also Rice, Ødegaard, MLS and Trossard to start on the bench. On the other hand, there are players who need minutes who will almost certainly start. As too, almost certainly, will Saliba and Kiwior, to further build that defensive partnership ‘under fire’ while I expect both our starting fullbacks from Tuesday may be rested. On the right, Ben White needs minutes while Timber needs rest. However, on the left, the youthful vigour of MLS may be preferred over the option of Tierney while the Scot would be preferable to Zinchenko given the threat of Mbuemo. However, the Ukrainian may get an opportunity to strut his stuff in midfield, if Ødegaard is rested. I think Partey will almost certainly be replaced by Jorginho to allow the Ghanan to prepare himself for a reprise of Tuesday’s masterclass when he takes the field at the Bernabéu but my instinct also to save Rice for Madrid may not be shared by Arteta and his energy and forcefulness would certainly strengthen our midfield against Brentford’s midfield giants. If Rice plays, Trossard may get the nod to replace Ødegaard at ‘inside right’, given his ability to alternate with Merino up front. Merino will almost certainly get another chance to sharpen his striking instincts but this time he will be flanked by the up and coming Nwaneri and, for at least a half, the generally down and going Sterling, perhaps more appropriately described as regularly down-going Sterling. None of our longterm walking wounded can be expected to return, though there were rumblings yesterday that Havertz might be available before the season’s end if there was a big occasion!

Hence, I expect the following starting XI or possibly something completely different:

Raya

White, Saliba, Kiwior, MLS

Trossard, Jorginho, Rice

Nwaneri Merino Sterling

I expect the familiar scenario of Arsenal dominating possession, camped on the edge of a nine or ten man defence and working the ball across the pitch and back again trying to create an opening. I also expect the appearance of several first team regulars from the bench as the game progresses if we do start with such a makeshift team and we need the extra creativity and threat. Hopefully the central defence who performed so brilliantly against Real Madrid will build further mutual understanding and preserve another clean sheet. 

The Holic Pound? Oddschecker offers the classic 1-0 to the Arsenal at 15/2 or a 2-0 victory at 8/1. I have a sneaking suspicion that 2-1 to the Arsenal, also available at 8/1, is the smart bet.

Go win, Arsenal!

Enjoy the game Holics, near and far.

Posted in Match Preview | 31 Drinks »

You’ve Only Come to See The Arsenal!

Apr 9th, 2025 by

Where to begin? As with all good fairy tales, let us begin at the beginning.   The European Champions were coming to N5. Arsenal were without Havertz, Jesùs, Gabriel, Tomiyasu, Calafiori, – all injured, and Sterling suspended. Saka and White were still coming back from injuries.  Madrid were without Tchouameni. That’s about it. They had a front line of Mbappe, Vinicius Jr and Rodrygo. Bellingham was in midfield.  Okay, they were hampered by 56-year-old former Sp*rs player Modric. But this was counter balanced by having Bellingham in midfield. Pre -match, 21CG and I thought that a draw or a 1-0 win would be a significant achievement.

The Tube was quiet from the end of the Piccadilly Line down to Arsenal.  Emerging into the late evening sunshine, there was a positive, but not electric atmosphere. However, with every yard taken towards the ground the atmosphere began to build. Until, upon entering the ground, the singing and chanting around the bars, which had become a feature over the last few years but really rather died this season, became apparent again. It was loud. The fans had taken in what Mikel had to say and had truly brought, as our American cousins say, their ‘A game’.

The players took to the field to one of the ersatz anthems which UEFA is trying to force fans to accept as being in any way a meaningful part of the evening’s entertainment.  Someone at UEFA headquarters has clearly swallowed a brand development textbook. Equally clearly, the chapter about the necessity for some kind of authenticity being a central part had been torn out or otherwise undigested. The crowd quite rightly totally ignored it and drowned it out.  As if further to hammer home the point, the new Arsenal anthem, The Angel, rang out. It oozes authenticity with its talk of The Angel and Popham and Morland estates. It was sung heartily and soulfully. These streets are our own, truly.  UEFA, you just don’t get it.

Arsenal started like a train, with a barrage of fast passing and slippery movement. In the 6th minute a couple of corners from Saka on the left were excellently delivered, the second of which may only have missed resulting in a goal on account of the ball hitting Saliba pretty much on the Madrid line. Madrid were restricted to attempting fast counters. None of which were in any way convincing in the first 10 minutes.  We were dominating the ball and the territory. Lewis-Skelly was playing, under instruction, anywhere he bloody well wanted, and looking far too comfortable for an 18-year-old.  On 12 minutes a lightning break down the left from Martinelli resulting in a snap shot from Partey which unfortunately was pretty much at Courtois. Madrid broke and won a corner but we then had a bizarre VAR investigation for a penalty. Inside the ground nobody had an earthly what this was for but after the game it turned out it was for the ball hitting the arm of a Madrid player in the box in the previous attack. It was denied, quite rightly. At which point one thinks of the ludicrous penalty given to Inter in Milan back in November when the ball was fired at an arm.  It would appear UEFA are no more consistent than PGMOL. Not a level to which they ought to aspire.

Somehow we went in at half-time level after Courtois saved first from a Rice header and then a Martinelli follow-up shot. Fair play to the Fulham Road bus stop escapee. Two good saves.  I’m sure even as we speak he is organising the sending of Red Cross parcels to some of the present inmates of Stalag Boehly, consisting of cake with embedded files and ink for forging travel papers from SW6 to the free world.

Half time – Arsenal 0 Madrid 0

Arsenal came out for the second half and Madrid tried to psyche us out by appearing after even the officials came out.  Curiously that gimmick just felt a bit desperate rather than clever. Again, Arsenal started brightly in the second half; again, bolstered by a boisterous crowd. Madrid had some possession but did little to nothing with it. They did the standard ‘Dying Swan’ when they lost the ball. Plus ça change, as they say.  No doubt at this point Madrid were happy not to have conceded despite having offered very little.

Then in the 56th minute, Saka received the ball in his customary wide right position and drove inside taking Alaba with him. After holding for about 10 yards, the Austrian fouled Saka and we had a free kick a good 30 yards out in a slightly right of central position. Now I must confess, my brothers and sisters, at this point to some scepticism of the outcome of the free kick. Not having scored from a free kick since Ødegaard some time back in the reign of the last UK monarch, I was not hopeful and expected a flighted delivery to make the most of our height and size advantage.  Players clustered round the ball but eventually left it to one of Ødegaard or Rice. I’m pretty sure locals to the ground will have reported a sonic boom around 9.18pm. Courtois may well have reported a UFO. He can’t have had much idea what it was that flashed past him.

Arsenal 1  Madrid 0

On 66 we could have doubled the lead, Martinelli bringing an excellent save from Courtois after great work from Lewis-Skelly, Alaba saving off the line from Merino and then Courtois saving again from Merino. From the resulting corner Rice had a shot kicked off the line.  We were all over them like a rash.  From the resulting corner Bellingham kicked off the line from a Rice shot.  Saka then won a free kick after being fouled serially for around 15 yards. The referee managed to yellow card Camavinga for his part.  A cluster appeared again around the ball, with this dissipating to leave only Ødegaard and Rice. This was slightly left of centre of the goal, a little closer in, around 25 yards.  Rice hit the ball like Tiger Woods in his prime. Oh my Lord!

Arsenal 2 Madrid 0

Hubristically, Madrid now decided to really push, as if they thought Arsenal were in some way undeserving of the lead.  Merino was their Nemesis. In 74 after a really clever break, Lewis-Skelly passed to Merino on the edge of the box and the Spaniard passed the ball into the net.

If only we had a striker.

Arsenal 3 Madrid 0

The ground resounded with that most beautiful of hymns, translated from the original Old Testament Psalm – Are you Tottenham in Disguise? For verily were they smote.

Madrid made some changes – some blokes on, some blokes off. It made no difference.   Rice came off for the hugely unlucky, massively talented and loved Tierney. Finally, the referee decided that enough spears had been plunged into this particular bull and put them out of their misery.  The ground went wild.  People were looking at one another wide eyed and wide mouthed, Nobody thought we could be quite this good.  

This was a night which made player ratings utterly superfluous. Nobody in red was anything less than sublime. Although, to steal from Orwell, some were more sublime than others. Partey ran the midfield. I have no idea where Lewis -Skelly was playing but am more than grateful for his apparent omnipresence. 18? Saka gave a world class fullback, Alaba, a torrid time. Salaba will be picking pieces of lint out of his pocket for days trying to find Mbappe. Ødegaard and Martinelli were Trojan in their tirelessness. Lest we forget Kiwior who was immaculate. He is quite a centre half. It was an absolute privilege to be in the ground tonight to watch our team totally destroy one of the greatest clubs in the world. To watch a London boy totally outshine a much-vaunted Brummie.  If I may nearly quote one of the latter’s celebrated West Midlands predecessors:

And Gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here.

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Totteringham’s day (near enough)…..

No need to feel accurs’d, people. Leave that to Bellingham and Co.   Bask in the Spartan determination to win. Revel in the sheer joy of wonderful football. Bathe in the enveloping warmth of the team spirit and beautiful, flowing football which our manager has engendered.  

I hope to see some of you in Madrid next week.  Mine’s a glass of tinto.

Posted in Match Report | 36 Drinks »

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