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I think most readers of this blog will know that I prefer my football live. Yes the view is far worse than on a 50” TV, no matter where you sit, you usually don’t get the benefit of replays and you have to drag up and down motorways, sometimes in foul weather. But the special atmosphere you get by being in the middle of a group of likeminded people is, well just that, special. The humour of football terraces is different to any other sport I’ve attended live. That humour is best expressed in the songs. Yes the language is often ripe. When I took my son to Highbury for the first time, he turned to me on the way home and asked a simple question. “Daddy what’s a wanker?” I explained that it was a special term for referees. I also explained that things he heard at football were not to be repeated in front of his Mother, Grandmother or teacher, on pain of banishment. There was a period when Patrice Evra of Manchester United used to taunt us regularly (men vs boys etc). So the Arsenal faithful consulted the intellectual giants amongst them and came up with this witty response:

Evra, Evra
You’re a c**t,
You’re a c**t
You’re a c**t

My son, no mug, latched onto the fact that he could express his dissatisfaction in with somebody in front of his Mother by calling him a “right Evra”. Well it worked for a couple of weeks.

Football humour is cruel, but often at its funniest when it is cruel. The Rangers goalkeeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Their next game was against Celtic. With Goram at their mercy in the goals in front of them, they burst into

Two Andy Gorams!
There’s only two Andy Gorams!

Luis Suarez in his Liverpool years had two reputations. One of being a cheat and the other of being a racist. Hence this brilliant ditty:

He cheats
He dives
He hates the Jackson Five

How do you best help your star centre forward when he is going through a rough patch Fulham FC? By singing this every game at Craven Cottage

When you’re sat in row Z
And the ball hits your head
That’s Zamora

But this piece is about my favourite Arsenal chants. Easy I thought. Actually very much not easy because I have had to leave loads out! Still, that gives an interactive opportunity for you, gentle reader, to point out your favourites that I missed. So let’s begin. My rule is that to include it in this list I have to have been present at a game and sang that song.

The players

I began going to Highbury in the 70s. I’ll be honest that many of the songs we sang then about the players are lost in the mists of my memory and old age, but here are a couple.

We all agree
Rixy is better than Hoddle!

(Spoiler: he wasn’t)

I saw Liam Brady from when he broke through from the youth team to when he sadly left for Italy. By the end of that run, Chippy was the firm fan favourite, with that cultured left foot. But he was just a little arrogant. Once the Band of the Metropolitan Police had finished doing their thing, the players came out to warm up. The North Bank would serenade each player with their own song and the player would salute the crowd. Except for Brady. We would begin by singing:

One Liam Brady!
There’s only one Liam Brady!
One Liam Brady!
There’s only one Liam Brady!

Nothing. Zip. Nada. Not even a glance. He was waiting for

Brady, Brady
Brady, Brady
Born is the King of Highbury!

Only then would he turn around and salute the North Bank. Ah well. He was worth it. My favourite player until DB10 rocked up (of whom more later).

I want to pull out just two from the 80s. Both are still sung to this day, one far more than the other. The latter was the player of whom David Dein said “ we’ve a lad from Lewisham in our youth team who dribbles like a Brazilian”. David “Rocky” Rocastle. One of the banners at the Emirates bears his picture and the words “remember who you are, what you are and who you represent”.  The club’s values in just eleven words.

Oh Rocky Rocky!
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky Rocastle!

The former, seldom heard now, is about our cheeky Essex journeyman, Perry Groves

At number one, it’s Perry Groves
Number 2, it’s Perry Groves
Number 3, it’s Perry Groves
We all live in a Perry Groves world, a Perry Groves world, a Perry Groves world!
(repeat through to number 11)

Perry liked it so much he used it as the title of his autobiography!

And so to the Wenger years. A golden period of football, trophies and player chants. Who can forget…

Viera, woah woah woah
Viera, woah, woah ,woah woah
He comes from Senegal
He plays for Arsenal

He’s blond
He’s quick
His name’s a porno flick
Emmanuel, Emmanuel, Emmanuel!

We love you Freddie
Because you’ve got red hair
We love you Freddie
Because you’re everywhere
We love you Freddie
Because you’re Arsenal through and through

But most of all, the immortal Iceman

One Dennis Bergkamp
There’s only one Dennis Bergkamp
Walking along
Singing a song
Walking in a Bergkamp wonderland!

To show how it’s the away fans that develop the songs, on those long hours on trains and buses, here’s my final two player songs. Both from this season, both first heard at away games I was at, first Leicester and then Everton. Both songs are now sung loudly at the Emirates.

Dani Ceballos
Dani Ceballos
Drinks Estrella
Eats Paella
The boy is fucking magic

Gaby de de de de de de
Oh Martinelli
He comes from Sao Paolo
And he plays for Arsenal
One two three four
(and repeat)

Tottenham

Oh where to start? I’m only going to include three because this is getting to be a long piece and most of the Spu*s songs are sung repeatedly at every game. So first, the song that greets St Totteringhams day, once a seasonal event, now in a temporary lull.

It’s happened again
It’s happened again
Tottenham Hotspur
It’s happened again!

I said above that football humour is cruel. A song about Harry Redknapp being sung on a train by Gooners went viral and was soon being sung at games.

Harry Redknapp’s
Got a twitch
Harry Redknapp’s
Got a twitch
Where he got it we don’t know
How he got it we don’t care
All we know is he has got a twitch!

On the last game of the season, and the last game at Highbury, in 2006, Spurs were one point ahead of Arsenal and only needing to match Arsenal’s result against Wigan in their game against West Ham to finish above us for the first time in 20 years. From that game comes this song…

Lasagne whoah whoah
Lasagne whoah whoah whoah whoah
We laughed ourselves to bits
When Tottenham got the shits

And finally

Thank you for reading this far (if you still are). Two final songs sung at Arsenal to this day which are sung at no other club and much beloved by all, especially the former landlord of this bar.

What did she wear?
She wore, She wore
She wore a yellow ribbon
She wore a yellow ribbon in the merry month of May
And when
I asked
Her why she wore that ribbon
She said it’s for the Arsenal and we’re going to Wembley
Wembley, Wembley
We’re the famous Arsenal
And we’re going to Wembley

My last song – does anyone know the history of this? The full lyrics (I’ve never heard anything but the chorus being sung at a game) can be found here https://www.fanchants.com/football-songs/arsenal-chants/bjesus-said-paddy/

So Paddy got up and he sang it again
Over and over and over again
Bejaysus said Paddy I sung it so well
I think I’ll get up and I’ll sing it again
So Paddy got up and he sang it again
Over and over and over again

Repeat to fade. I’ve left out so many. What are your favourites?

118 Drinks to “My favourite Arsenal terrace chants”

  1. 1
    Pangloss says:

    Nice one C100. My personal favourite, which I didn’t hear myself was allegedly sung to the Leicester City goalkeeper after the papers reported some extracurricular behaviour:

    “Peter Shilton
    “Peter Shilton
    “Does you Missus know you’re here?”

    COYG CUYG

  2. 2
    OsakaMatt says:

    Thanks C100, some great choices.

    The last away match my red
    membership got me on a trip
    to the UK was Stoke away (can’t
    think why it was so easy to get a
    ticket😉 )
    Giroud’s first game, RVP had gone,
    and Santos nicked for speeding).
    Most of the singing was “she said no
    Robin, oh Robin….” which I had to
    explain to my 12 year old son and
    “Andre Santos, he drives how he
    wants”. As you said C100, the away
    support are always quick.

  3. 3
    OsakaMatt says:

    Ned,
    Thanks for the Mkhi salary info
    in the previous drinks. I said
    pre virus I’d have taken Roma’s
    low offer for Mkhi in January
    and nothing since has changed my
    mind, sometimes it’s better to cut
    your losses and move on.

  4. 4
    OsakaMatt says:

    On the PL resumption, I heard
    a story about CGI crowds being added
    on Sky Sports. I hope it’s fake news.

  5. 5
    bt8 says:

    Countryman, Learning this stuff from afar I must say your piece is right in the tradition of ‘holic’s best historical writing. Many thanks for your memories on a great topic. Come on Arsenal may not be the cleverest lyric but when the crowd really gets going that one does it for me.

  6. 6
    Countryman100 says:

    Thanks bt8, that is praise indeed!

  7. 7
    bathgooner says:

    You’ve written an excellent piece, CM100. I got tingles down my spine reading those old songs we used to sing in the North Bank to the plaayers of Wengerball 1 and 2 and I could hear those songs as I read them. Your piece not only recalls nice memories, it illustrates that incisive wit of the traditional fan and the development opportunity of that father and son moment on the terraces.

    My abiding memory of the latter was at a West Ham game in the early 90’s where in response to a chant about the Spam striker Tony Morley who had according to the tabloids allegedly been found flargrante delicto by his wife, my 10-year old son with whom I had at that point had no conversations about the ‘birds and the bees’ let alone variants thereof, asked “Is he?” and on my response “I have no idea but it’ll probably put him off”, proceeded to join in the chant.

    The key songs that you’ve diplomatically omitted are the fine anthem recording the outcome of Tottnumb’s pilgramage to Rome and:

    “Double, double, double,
    Sol Campbell has won the double,
    And the Scum from the Lane
    Have won feck all again,
    Sol Campbell has won the double
    “.

  8. 8
    Countryman100 says:

    Heh! Thanks Bath. Yes those two were on the long list, as were two beloved of Ray Parlour and (a heavily hungover) Jack Wilshere at end of season celebrations with silverware.

    My old man said be a Tottnum fan
    I said f*** off, bollocks, wanker you’re a c***!

    And of course, sung to this day (the first line is enough)

    What do you think of Tottnum?

  9. 9
    Countryman100 says:

    The first of those of course was the product of the same group of Professors from UCL and Imperial who came up later with the Evra chant. You can’t beat dry, understated, academic wit.

  10. 10
    Uplympian says:

    A most enjoyable piece CM100, it was read drinking my morning coffee which made it even more pleasurable. I find the humour in chants by fans most entertaining and often relevant to recent events – as you say often initiated by the fabulous away fans ( your good self included).
    One of my favourite occasions for a good chant was when I was a guest of a supplier at their local club for a premiership match Ipswich v Charlton ( yes it was many moons ago ). A Charlton player was injured and their physio came on to attend to him with his bag of tricks. He was very rotund and as he was walking off he was subjected to (unsurprisingly):
    Who ate all the pies?
    Who ate all the pies?
    You fat bastard
    You fat bastard
    Who ate all the pies?
    As he approached the touch line he opened his bag, pulled out a pie & started (fake) munching – the whole crowd roared out laughing and gave him a big round of applause.

  11. 11
    North Bank Ned says:

    Wonderfully evocative, C100. Football chanting is special. No other sport has anything like it.

    On the cruel humour front, I recall the Clock End serenading visiting Stoke fans with an operatic refrain of ‘We pay your benefits; we pay your benefits.’

    Back in the Thatcher years, I was a guest at the bus stop in Fulham for the visit of Liverpool. The Blues fans waved fivers in the air at the visiting Scousers while singing, ‘You’ll never work again’.

    Not really a stadium chant, but this remains a perennial favourite: https://youtu.be/q7wCfttJVnQ

  12. 12
    North Bank Ned says:

    Scruz from the last drinks: Agreed. C100 illustrates so well why there is nothing like being at the ground in the crowd and in full voice.

  13. 13
    Countryman100 says:

    Thanks Ned. That video has long been one of my favourites. “You know where you can stick your celery”. 🤣🤣🤣

  14. 14
    bathgooner says:

    I have enjoyed going to our matches against the Scousers because they are always a great tussle on the park but also because our fans have displayed great inventiveness when the Scouse choir begin their somewhat overhyped anthems.

    I love it when our crowd sing to their “Walk alone” tune:

    Sign on, sign on, with pen in your hand,
    but you’ll NEVER get a job,
    You’ll NEVER get a job
    “.

    During the Houllier era, the chant of “Liverpool, Liverpool” was adapted into:

    Liverpool, HOOF the ball“.

    It annoyed the Scouse fans, those famed afficionados of good football, hugely because it was true!

  15. 15
    Countryman100 says:

    I have a mate who is a dedicated West Ham fan (season ticket holder). He likes the fact that when West Ham play Arsenal, home or away, when the song starts “stand up if you hate Tottenham” the entire ground gets to its feet.

  16. 16
    TTG says:

    Delightful piece C100. You capture the exact essence of terrace chants- their spontaneity and improvisation.
    Pangloss mentions the Shilton episode which occurred just after he had been caught in his crashed car with a lady other than his wife . I believe he was with Forest then and to compound our delight he made the crucial mistake that gifted us victory . The North Bank produced many chants during the match . I recall her name was Tina and her name was chanted to the echo. There were a number that were more graphic and enquired about positions which had nothing to do with those on the pitch.
    I also enjoy revenge charts. In 2010 we had lost at home to the Scum after leading 2-0 at halftime . They had chanted gleefully . ‘ 2-0 and you f***ed it up ‘ The following season we were trailing 2-0 to them before halftime only for us to come back to win 5-2 . We were able to repeat that chant even more gleefully ……And boy did we !
    I used to like Jon Sammels , a favourite of the Guvna too. Wonderful player with a brilliant shot ( check out his goal in 1969 from about thirty five yards against ManUre) –
    ‘ His name is Jonny Sammels , he’s the greatest of them all.
    And when he takes a shot at goal you never see the ball !’…and you didn’t !
    I also loved the Santi Cazorla chant and of course the Mertesacker one but the one I remember singing with huge gusto was in May 2004 after we beat Leicester.
    ‘ We are unbeatable , We are unbeatable !’ Etc , etc .
    Spontaneous, triumphant and it’s a chant that exclusively belongs to the Arsenal .
    Great work, Countryman

  17. 17
    bathgooner says:

    CM100@8, apologies, sir. I overlooked your question. After much reflection, I have concluded that the answer is:

    SHIT!

  18. 18
    scruzgooner says:

    countryman, a sweet and hilarious piece. these are things i can sort of make out on television; at our supporters bar some know some songs (özil’s, tottenham and the pope, we hate tottenham) but the momentary feats of imagination and gusto about current events and taking the piss, not at all. i really appreciate what you’ve written, well done!

    and yes, ned@12, exactly en pointe, coincidentally!

    baff@17, whattaya think of SHIT?

  19. 19
    Countryman100 says:

    Thank you TTG. How could I have overlooked the Big F*cking German? A great example of a chant so simple, but so effective, that everyone loved it instantly. I enjoyed the fact that big Mert thought we were swearing at him at first, then clocked what we were doing and loved it.

    Kosielny was another. Used to stride round the Ems banging his badge, but only with the rather mournful

    He wants his own song
    He wants his own song
    Lauren Kosienly
    He wants his own song

    Then, when he’d been with us about four years came this joyous piece that I loved singing for one of the greatest servants of the late Wenger period

    Ain’t nobody
    Like Kosielny
    Makes me happy
    Makes me feel this way!

    Glorious!

  20. 20
    Countryman100 says:

    Scruz, thank you so much for your kind words sir, they are much appreciated. Could I suggest you send a link to the piece to your fellow Gooners in the bar? It, together with the learned drinks could help someone write a song sheet!

  21. 21
    Countryman100 says:

    While we’re on centre halves who performed heroics in Cup Finals, how about

    Rob Holding
    You know
    He’s better than Cannavaro!

    This piece could have been three times the length!

  22. 22
    OsakaMatt says:

    I forgot the chant that gave me
    (and the whole crowd) a real
    deep rooted sense of justice
    – when we told the FA where to
    stick their 2 points

  23. 23
    Countryman100 says:

    Thanks Matt. I believe it went something like this

    You can stick
    Your two points up your arse
    You can stick
    Your two points up your arse
    You can stick
    Your two points
    Stick, your two points
    Stick, your two points up your arse!

    Note to US Gooners – it HAS to be arse, not ass

  24. 24
    Countryman100 says:

    Ned can get the monks to give us the details, but I’m sure it was 1991.

  25. 25
    bathgooner says:

    Scruz @18,

    TOTTNUMB!

  26. 26
    TTG says:

    C100
    We were fined because of the United fracas in October 1990 but the chant really began after we clinched the league in 1991. Quite a year because we lost our captain to a holiday home in Chelmsford just before Christmas . And we only lost once all season

  27. 27
    Countryman100 says:

    Built on that defence, including Tony. I haven’t looked this up, but I think we only conceded something like 17 goals all season (Ned will correct me). George’s great back four, albeit with the Tuesday club sessions. One nil to The Arsenal (another chant we haven’t mentioned yet).

  28. 28
    North Bank Ned says:

    C100@24: TTG has the details correct above.

    The defence conceded 18 goals in the league that season. Only gave up more than one goal four times.

  29. 29
    Uplympian says:

    NBN / C100 / TTG – my memory says that only defeat was at Chav$ki.

  30. 30
    Countryman100 says:

    If you are a true Gooner, you loved George Graham’s team as much as the glories on Wenger ball. Even if he did sell Rocky.

  31. 31
    TTG says:

    C100
    George did a great job at Arsenal but that Benfica defeat had a huge effect on him. I wouldn’t say I knew him well but I had the pleasure of chatting to him several times and I remembered him well as a ( very good) player . I even remembered when he broke through at Chelsea.
    His mates will tell you that he was totally different as a manager compared with his approach as a player. But what a legacy he passed on to Wenger with that back four. But I did tell him he left Limpar out too much and he didn’t whack me!

  32. 32
    Countryman100 says:

    This is why I bow the knee to my good friend Peter, or TTG. Gooner royalty, whose family have been absorbing the back stairs gossip in North (and South) London for over 100 years. Guys we are truly privileged to have such deep, deep knowledge of our club amongst us. May you and yours thrive Peter, and, assuming you follow through and don’t renew your season ticket, if my son isn’t going you will have first choice in block 7, row 9 of the North Bank, next to me.

  33. 33
    North Bank Ned says:

    Uply@29: Correct. 2-1.

  34. 34
    OsakaMatt says:

    Sorry c100 🙏
    I forgot to mention the chant
    not I forgot the chant – carelessly
    put by me.

  35. 35
    OsakaMatt says:

    90/91 was a difficult season though
    we played some great football as
    well at times. The last few home
    games when I think we knew we
    had it, if not mathematically until
    the Manure game, were a huge
    release and the chant was a
    fuck you to the FA shared by
    40 odd thousand of us. With feeling.

  36. 36
    OsakaMatt says:

    @30
    Completely agree c100.
    90/91 was the first season of the
    Famous Five though they were the
    Fantastic Four for a couple of
    months 🙂
    Davis was excellent that season
    as well as Limpar and Smith.
    I really believed we were
    going to win the European Cup
    the next year until the gutting
    defeat to Benfica (I was shocked
    and heartbroken so Dennis knows
    how the team felt). As TTG said
    we were never the same afterwards.
    But between another gutting defeat
    to Luton in 87 and the Benfica game
    we were a great side – iffy before
    Luton and dour after Benfica

  37. 37
    OsakaMatt says:

    One of my favourite seasons 90-91
    in case you hadn’t guessed 🙂
    Fighting spirit, triumph in adversity,
    great play and players, even Groves
    and Campbell were useful plus I
    missed our only league defeat.
    I’d stopped going away to the bus
    stop by then as it was such a pain.
    And, in hindsight, the year we
    really broke Liverpool’s domination.

  38. 38
    TTG says:

    C100
    That would be a delight and an honour . Many thanks .
    Let’s hope we can get some cricket in too this season although it’s looking dubious !

  39. 39
    North Bank Ned says:

    OM@36: We won only two of the next 13 games following the Benfica defeat. The hurt cut deep.

  40. 40
    North Bank Ned says:

    You have to applaud Berbatov’s response to a question about whether Kane should leave the neighbours:

    you will always have that situation with teams like Spurs – where their best players have to decide if they stay here or move to a big club.

    https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/52511238

  41. 41
    bt8 says:

    Hart Kane wants to go to a bigger club? Maybe he should go to Kerala Blasters like Berbatov did.

    There is good seafood there, or so I have been told.

  42. 42
    bt8 says:

    (Hart Kane being the very same as Harry Kane in the mind of the spillchucker.)

  43. 43
    bt8 says:

    Not sure what substance they prefer to blast however.

  44. 44
    North Bank Ned says:

    All sorts of good food in Kochi, Kerala’s main city. Very cosmopolitan place.
    May also be one of the few places in India where football is a bigger sport than cricket.

  45. 45
    OsakaMatt says:

    @39
    It certainly did Ned, nearly
    20 years later I still harbour
    hopes of a CL winning run that
    includes destroying Benfica
    along the way.
    I need closure 😉

  46. 46
  47. 47
    bt8 says:

    It’s still better than playing for Tottenham though.

  48. 48
    gedo says:

    Never been to the Ems so only tv viewing for me. Love when I can hear the chants….
    “Adebayor what’s the score?”…“Adebayor what’s the score?” Repeat, repeat, repeat….
    “You’ll always be shit, you’ll always be shit, Tottenh*m Hotspurs, you’ll always be shit.”
    At least that’s what I heard but that’s good enough for me ;).

  49. 49
    bathgooner says:

    Your hearing is 100% accurate, gedo.

    Curves a right wing cross towards the penalty spot for….

  50. 50
    OsakaMatt says:

    A perfectly timed post dinner
    run into the box all of 6,000
    miles from Japan 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

  51. 51
    Countryman100 says:

    Well in Matt. Dennis like assist from Bath.

  52. 52
    North Bank Ned says:

    Well in for the half-ton, OM. Talk about make a run from deep…

  53. 53
    bt8 says:

    Out of the bento box into the penalty box, quite astonishing.

  54. 54
    bt8 says:

    gedo, Ade did have a name made for a song. Pity he didn’t score a few more for the Arsenal.

  55. 55
    bt8 says:

    Santi Cazorla also had a name made for a song, pity he couldn’t stay to hear a few more dozen rounds of it.

  56. 56
    Countryman100 says:

    Jose Antonio Reyes was another

  57. 57
    bt8 says:

    My memory is that Ade’s song went like this.
    Adebayor, Adebayor
    Give him the ball and he will score.

    But maybe there were several versions.

  58. 58
    bt8 says:

    Just glancing at the clock it looks like we will all have a major anniversary to celebrate in slightly less than 12 months’ time.

  59. 59
    bt8 says:

    Will have to come up with a song for the occasion.

  60. 60
    Dorset Mick says:

    bt8@57,
    I recall another version to this chant sung after he left the club, which referenced his parents’ skillsets. Definitely unPC, but it did wind him up.

  61. 61
    scruzgooner says:

    bt8@59:

    it’s sixty years since you won the league
    sixty years
    sixty years since you won the league
    oohhhh tottenham, you’re shit!!

    and that’s why i never got into songwriting 🙂

  62. 62
    Countryman100 says:

    He’s five foot four
    He’s five foot four
    We’ve got Arshavin
    Fuck Adebayour

    First heard at the Emptihad.

    And for Spurs that old favourite

    You won the league
    In black and white
    You won the league in black and white
    You won the league in the sixties
    You won the league in black and white

  63. 63
    North Bank Ned says:

    Would not want Pascal Cygan’s chant to go unmentioned, though he probably would.

    He’s bald; he’s shit.
    He only plays when no one’s fit
    Cygan! Cygan!

  64. 64
    North Bank Ned says:

    gedo@48: another one that came through well on TV was when Ospina took goal kicks. The elongated but building OOOOOOOOOOOOOs as he prepared to take the kick and then the explosive ‘pina’ as his foot went through the ball.

  65. 65
    bathgooner says:

    A couple of classics from the North Bank in the 90’s.

    Both to the Volari/Vieira tune, the former when Boa Morte was playing for us (!), the latter when Sherwood was still playing for Blackburn:

    Boa Morte oh, oh!
    Boa Morte oh, oh!
    He comes from Portugal,
    He can’t control the ball.
    Boa Morte oh, oh!
    Boa Morte oh, oh!

    Tim Sherwood, oh, oh!
    Tim Sherwood, oh, oh!
    He comes from Boreham Wood,
    He’s no fecking good!
    Tim Sherwood, oh, oh!

  66. 66
    Countryman100 says:

    Heh! The Tim Sherwood one got a few reprisals when he was the gilet clad manager at the smelly end of the seven sisters road.

  67. 67
    scruzgooner says:

    baff, thanks for the tune help, too. it’s easy to see the chants, but it takes applying the tune to make them work. now i can hear both the boa morte and the sherwood chants in my head.

    things like “oooh, santi cazorla” are easy to pick up on the tv.

  68. 68
    bt8 says:

    Scruz @61. The words are right on the mark. Do you have a tune in mind? It is amazing how many great songs include the line “Oh Tottenham you’re shit.” 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

  69. 69
    Countryman100 says:

    Sorry Scruz. I probably should have included the tunes in my piece. Are there any where you need assistance? Be happy to provide it.

  70. 70
    scruzgooner says:

    i’ll have to look back through it, c100. i can also take the chants online and see how they sound 🙂

    bt8: same as “we love you arsenal”

    it’s sixty yearrs, since you won the league,
    it’s sixty yearrs, since you won the league,
    it’s sixty yearrs, since you won the league,
    oh, tottenham, you are shit!

    but i’m not wed to it 😀

  71. 71
    scruzgooner says:

    oh, and baff @ 25, thank you!

  72. 72
    bt8 says:

    It sounds like Brady’s was sung to The First Noel?

  73. 73
    Countryman100 says:

    The born is the King of Highbury? Yes.

  74. 74
    OsakaMatt says:

    On the loss from match day
    income……
    https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/52529679

  75. 75
    OsakaMatt says:

    “Arsenal going skint” to the tune
    of Nigel Winterburn…

  76. 76
    Noosa Gooner says:

    If I had the wings of a sparrow
    If I had the arse of a crow
    I’d fly over Tottenham tomorrow
    And shit on the bastards below
    Shit on Shit On
    I’d shit on the bastards below.

    UTA.

  77. 77
    bathgooner says:

    Scruz@71 That’s ollroight!

    We ‘ate Tottnumb and we ‘ate Tottnumb
    We ‘ate Tottnumb and we ‘ate Tottnumb
    We ‘ate Tottnumb and we ‘ate Tottnumb
    We are the Tottnumb ‘aters!

  78. 78
    scruzgooner says:

    perfect, baff… 🙂

  79. 79
    bt8 says:

    I had a dream of singing those songs on the terraces. Thing is, I was wide awake but miles away.

  80. 80
    OsakaMatt says:

    The Bundesliga seem to be
    going full steam ahead with
    the closed door option. I know
    football isn’t too important at
    the moment but it will be nice
    to see something happening
    and I hope it goes well for them.

  81. 81
    bathgooner says:

    All the nonsense proposals from people in the game over the last few days have firmed up my view that they should learn from Scruz’s excellent historical reviews of the response to the last major periods of social disruption during WWI and WWII. Season 2019-20 should be abandoned and declared null and void (Sorry Scousers), older first team players’ contracts cancelled and stadiums mothballed until it is safe. Football can resume again when it is safe for everyone involved for it to do so. Clubs that survive (and some/many won’t) can sign new players/resign old players (if they are still young enough to play!) on new (more sensible) contracts in a window preceding resumption.

  82. 82
    Countryman100 says:

    David Ornstein reveals that the Premier League Clubs Doctors have issued a 100 point memo to the PL. This may be a spanner in the works of the plan to resume play, even behind closed doors. It’s in the Athletic so apologies for paywall.

    https://theathletic.com/1795127/2020/05/05/coronavirus-doctors-training-project-restart-death-spit-testing-virus-football-medics-100-point-email/?source=user_shared_article

  83. 83
    Pangloss says:

    OM@80: Of course the irsk of “bheind closed doors” games is that the broadcasters/players/TV audiences will discover that the crowd really is irrelevant so they can shaft thje matchday fans even harder. (Looking on the bright side, the opposite might prove to be the case.)

    baff@81: I still don’t understand why it’s preferrable to resume with a new season rather than resume in the middle of season 2019-20. I also don’t understand the issue with players’ contracts. Either their contract expires and clubs need to sign replacements, or it doesn’t. I think transfer windows are a nonsense, but by all means have a 4-week window between the announcement and the actual resumption.

    A whole load of player contracts expiring when their is no football and therefore little appetite from clubs to sign them will present an “interesting” additional challenge for the negotiators on both sides, and I’m always happy when people with the word “agent” in their job title have to earn their corn.

    c100@82: A ‘100-point’ memo, indeed! That indicates either that the people writing the memo haven’t worked out what’s actually important to them, or that they are trying to slip something through (maybe around point 73 or so) without anyone noticing.

  84. 84
    North Bank Ned says:

    bath@81: That would be the sensible and responsible response. Unfortunately, the game is run by people for whom money trumps common sense.

  85. 85
    North Bank Ned says:

    If Aaron Ramsey ends up at OT as a makeweight in a deal to ship out Pogba to Juventus it will only make our handling of his contract renewal negotiations even more of a bungling than it was at the time. I sense Ramsey would have flourished under Arteta. Still having him at the club would also have given us much more flexibility in deciding how to deal with Ozil.

  86. 86
    North Bank Ned says:

    Pangloss@83: The issue with players’ contracts really only applies to those contracts expiring this summer. Premier League contracts typically run from July 1 to June 30. If the current season is still being played out after the end of June, those contracts (including loans) that would have expired will have to be extended to cover the remaining games or the clubs will be denied the services of those players who have fallen out-of-contract or whose loans have expired. They cannot sign replacements as the player registration cut-off date for the current season is long passed. Even if that requirement is lifted (which could be unfair; it is there to prevent clubs bolstering their teams for the final few games of the season) replacements may anyway be unavailable. Some clubs may thus have to play out the season with a smaller squad than when football stopped.

  87. 87
    TTG says:

    Football fans everywhere will have their own way of dealing with the loss of football.
    Personally I’ve had a lot on my plate and despite my fairly obvious love for the game ( mainly Arsenal) I have mentally consigned it to a dusty shelf awaiting resumption who knows when.
    This season has been horrid almost from the outset ( from an Arsenal perspective) so I have no great concern if we just scrap it . The idea of games being played behind closed doors fills me with almost total indifference. It will be so artificial and lacking in atmosphere ( with the bleeper going regularly to cut out the profanities) that it can’t possibly begin to replace the authentic experience . The game will find some people drift away if they can’t watch games at grounds and many may not return, they will get out of the habit. Arsenal will lose a huge number of regular fans until transport is safe, London is virus free and then given the fickleness of modern fans , much will depend on the fortunes of the side. From what I have seen the financial damage will be as substantial for us as for almost anybody in the Premier League because of the relative importance of gate receipts to us.
    So we enter a very pivotal era for the game . People will inevitably think differently about the place of football in their lives. This spell of enforced cold turkey may well wean a number of fans off the game at all clubs and given the huge outpouring of goodwill to key workers which is richly deserved it will be hard to get too excited about footballers who even with pay cuts earn more in a day than some key workers earn in a year . I can feel my own enthusiasm dipping given all we are going through and knowing that what we will see for the next year or so will have the atmosphere of a kickaround on the common.
    Maybe if a new slick and effective Arsenal team emerge from lockdown our views may change but I suspect that the game will take many years to recover .
    P.s- it was reported today that according to Forbes Stan Kroenke is worth £393 m more than he was on January 1st. I don’t believe this figure if this money is invested anywhere but should he be feeling the pinch his missus has seen her personal fortune climb by a mere £97m . I’m not sure what a nurse in an intensive care ward earns .

  88. 88
    OsakaMatt says:

    Every industry is going to have
    challenges as we try to manage
    our way through the current
    situation.
    And there are bound to be a lot
    of odd ideas being put forward.
    If football can come up with
    something workable then I can’t
    see any reason not to go ahead.
    It’s really no different in principle
    to your local restaurant doing
    takeaways, they’re just trying to
    survive economically. We should
    remember the vast majority of people
    in the football industry do not earn
    100k a week.

  89. 89
    OsakaMatt says:

    @83 Pangloss
    I must admit I laughed when
    I read there was a 100 point
    plan.
    Not 99 or 101 then 🙂

    My own odd idea is to start the new
    season in June, scrap the cups for
    now and have no midweek games.
    All brickbats happily accepted 🙂

  90. 90
    bt8 says:

    100 point plan?

  91. 91
    bt8 says:

    Reminds me, we are not far away

  92. 92
    bt8 says:

    from the numerological oddity often called the century ourselves.

  93. 93
    bt8 says:

    Numerological evenity?

  94. 94
    bt8 says:

    Certainly Liverpool should be forced to sell Mane, Salah and their fullbacks to Real Madrid.

  95. 95
    bt8 says:

    As a matter of principle really

  96. 96
    bt8 says:

    Van Dyck, having a Dutch name, may be allowed to go to Ajax or Feyenoord but not Breda.

  97. 97
    bt8 says:

    Not sure how they will manage to pay his salary but it would be fun to see smaller clubs managing to compete for players like him.

  98. 98
    bt8 says:

    A 98 point plan would have been considerably more concise.

  99. 99
    bt8 says:

    Too much to hope for, Van Dyck to Arsenal? Best to mandate it then.

  100. 100
    scruzgooner says:

    just take it.

  101. 101
    Doctor Faustus says:

    A joyful read!
    Wish the chants were more audible in the live telecast.
    “He cheats/He dives/He hates the Jackson five.” 😂 That’s clever.
    Hope you and your fellow regular away game supporters will be able to resume what seems to be — despite all the logistics nightmare especially with the constant schedule changes —an uniquely rewarding experience.
    And then we can read your away day reports again. 🙂

  102. 102
    OsakaMatt says:

    Well in scruz…..
    with an award for outstanding
    assist to bt8

  103. 103
    Pangloss says:

    NBN@86: Thank you for the explanation about contracts; I hadn’t heard of (or had forgotten about) the seasonal registration cut-off.

    That said, I still think it would be easier to waive the registration cut-off (an internal Premier League regulation) than to change the contracts and require players to continue with an employer for longer than they had agreed (which is governed by external, national law). However, given that changing the regulations would lay the Premier League open to legal action from 20 clubs, while changing contracts would lay the 20 clubs open to legal action from 2 or 3 players each, so I can see how the former would appeal more to the Premier League.

    As to the desirability or otherwise of curtailing the season… Well, I still favour playing it to a finish, however long that takes.

    CUYG

  104. 104
    OsakaMatt says:

    https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/may/06/the-hurdles-premier-league-football-must-clear-to-restart

    An article in The Gtauniad
    summarising the challenges to
    restarting.
    It mentions there will be 80
    players out of contract.

  105. 105
    North Bank Ned says:

    TTG@87: Little of Stan Kroenke’s wealth derives from publicly listed equity so he has not has his wealth knocked back significantly by the coronavirus-related plunge in stock markets. He owns mostly private assets like sports teams, commercial property and ranches. These are more difficult to value on a day-to-day basis than stocks. You would need to look carefully at Forbes’s valuation dates to see how up to date those valuations are. I suspect they are lagging. It is worth noting, however, that Kroenke has been investing recently in esports. Those assets will have appreciated as a result of the pandemic. For what it is worth, Bloomberg also pegs the rise in Kroenke’s net worth so far this year at $400 million.

    As for what an ICU nurse earns, it is a safe bet that it is well short of S97 million — a lifetime let alone a year.

  106. 106
    North Bank Ned says:

    Well in for the ton, Scruz. Elaborate assist from bt8b.

  107. 107
    bt8 says:

    Probably a bit over-elaborate if truth be told Ned but lacking cba sometimes these things must be done.

  108. 108
    bt8 says:

    Well taken Scruz. Nobody scores 20 goals a season without putting opportunities like that into the back of the net.

  109. 109
    Countryman100 says:

    Goal hanger.

  110. 110
    OsakaMatt says:

    lurkin’ and smirkin’
    👍

  111. 111
    scruzgooner says:

    cheers, all, bt8 with a db10-like assist. i’m happy to hit 20, just don’t want any profligance to creep into my game…

  112. 112
    scruzgooner says:

    and c100, “kettle black, kettle black” 🤣

  113. 113
    North Bank Ned says:

    Just been watching a stream of the first post-pandemic-suspension game, Jeonbuk Motors v Suwon Bluewings in South Korea’s K-league. No crowd and all the subs and managers wearing masks (Jeonbuk’s bench sporting natty masks in club colours). Crowd chants and the drumming you get at Asian games piped in now and then (quite effectively) and the TV shots very tight so you don’t much notice the empty seats (some of which are covered by huge advertisements). It was a bit like watching a park game in as much as most of the sound was the players shouting to each other. 내 머리에 내 아들. No masks on the field and no attempt to hold back from contact. There was also no commentary. All a bit surreal to start with but you get into the game surprisingly quickly. I can see closed-door games working as a TV spectacle if they get the canned crowd noise right. The words of some of the songs might be a problem for prime time TV, however. 🙂

  114. 114
    bt8 says:

    Surreal is the word that comes to mind, Ned. We have also probably reached surreal virtuality, or should I have called it virtual surreality?

    In Covid news, Brazil surpassed 10,000 deaths today with the numbers still rising sharply. I guess the major media outlets would have already told us if that includes anybody we know.

  115. 115
    bt8 says:

    With the lack of background noise or commentators, the ratings may suffer so judging by my daughter’s musical taste maybe they should add a continuous K-pop soundtrack. (Caveat: that might have been more her taste a year or two ago.)

  116. 116
  117. 117
    bt8 says:

    Thanks C100 for a great post that took my mind off this stuff!

  118. 118
    ATG says:

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>